Now that I'm back home, I'm catching up on things.

 

OK, it's been a while since I've been able to sleep in my own bed.  And it feels strange!  I guess that I'll have to make it into NYC with RQS and have her try out the Saatva mattress I liked so much.  Given that RQS has fallen in love with her mattress from Bob's Discount Furniture. I figure that I will have a hard choice to make sometime soon - do I want a bed with a fixed base, or one with an adjustable base?

While I was away, I received a letter from a lawyer in Los Angeles that I am one of the beneficiaries of my uncle's trust.  My brother is more upset at the terms of what hell get from it than I am.  I guess it's because my uncle considered a close friend in LA that he's known for years to be as much a family member as his blood family is.  Given that I have seen a list of the beneficiaries, I have a strong feeling that my uncle wanted to see most of his money go to causes that he cared about.

I'm glad that I did a load of laundry on the second to last day that we were on the ship.  I only have a couple of days of dirty laundry from the cruise to add to my laundry basket for another load I have to put in to my co-op's washers/dryers before the end of the week.  The rest of the laundry in my suitcases can be put back into my dresser drawers.

Bill paying is a pain in the neck, and I had a small stack to take care of.  One of these bills was a credit card charge related to a cruise I'll be taking next year.  (More details on that later.)  I'm lucky that I have overpaid my co-op maintenance charges enough to skip one payment and still have a hefty surplus in my account.  (The same went for my electric bill as well, but not to the same degree.)  At this point, I am in good shape financially, even with an unexpected expense.

Depending on where I stand with my accounts, I'm thinking of surprising RQS with an expensive gift that we both can enjoy.  (No, it's not a ring.)  If I do so, it'll be closer to year end that I spring this on her.  She's a good woman, and I want to show how much I appreciate her being in my life.

Just before I took my recent trip, I found out that my online pharmacy was unable to reach my doctor's office to renew my prescription.  So I called the office this morning, and reached a receptionist who may not have bothered to see that the prescription is called in.  I'll have to double check this tomorrow, as I'm running low on this medicine.  Thinking about doctors, my CPAP machine is near the end of its life.  Tomorrow, I have to call the sleep doctor to see whether I need another consult and another sleep test before I can get a new machine.  (I also want to buy a second machine, just for travel.  But I'll talk with the doctor about that first....)  It's hard to believe that I got this machine 9 years ago!

As I said in the title of this post - I'm catching up on things....

The Play That Goes Wrong went so very, very right!

 

RQS and I went to The Play That Goes Wrong this past Sunday, and there was no way either of us could hold in our laughter - The play was hilarious.  I had seen this play before as part of the "20 at 20" Off-Broadway theater promotion, and knew that RQS would love it - and she did.

- - - - - -

A while back, I was hunting for an appropriate Christmas present to give RQS.  Both of our apartments are overloaded with stuff we don't need.  I knew that buying objects for her gift could be counter productive for our long term needs.  But buying experiences might be the thing that would make her happy and help continue bonding us together.  So I took advantage of a deal offered online, and bought tickets for a performance we could go to in January.

This weekend rolled around, and so did theater time. So I drove down to RQS's place to spend Saturday night, in order to have an easy trip to the theater.  One problem - the bitter chill in the air.  Yet, we caught a bus without much waiting, and made it into the city an hour before showtime.  Luckily, we were able to find a place in the theater where we could sit down and wait until showtime.

The show opened up with two "stage hands" recruiting an audience member to help them set up the stage.  I told RQS that this was part of the show, and to keep an eye on everything going on from that point.  After the audience member was sent back to his seat, the show (and its mayhem) began.  I knew that this was the perfect gift for RQS, as she was continuously laughing for most of the next two hours.

All too soon, the play had to end and we had to go home.  If this play is professionally staged near you, I strongly suggest that you see it.  It will be worth the effort.

Favor, n: an effort in someone's behalf or interest

 

Favor, n: an effort in someone's behalf or interest.

The above is one of several uses of the word "favor".   It is not the meaning that someone used with me lately, nor is it the one that catalyzed another round of angry messages from someone who was once a close friend of mine.  I will not go into the content of those messages, as they are not the point here and I don't want to rub salt into that person's wounds.  The messages only spurred me to think about the following when communicating with someone with whom one does not have good relations:

First, one has to have real empathy for the other person.  Even if angry at that person, continue to see that person as  a human being worth respect, even if the thought of that person makes your blood boil.  If you can see an issue from their point of view, you might be able to avoid phrases or actions which would make the other person angry.  In short, one must think of how the other person may react before saying or doing anything.

Second, Don't expect others to think like you.  Often, people assume others share the same values, and then get angry when they don't react in the expected way.  Recently, I read about a husband who gave his wife jewelry every year, and never saw her wear it.  He didn't care to find out what she wanted; the gifts were simply an extension of what he'd have wanted had he been in her shoes.

Third, be generous with your thoughts and actions, but don't expect any thanks from the other person.  Sometimes, you will make a big mistake.  And that's normal.  Learn from your mistake and move on.  If you can, try to think of ways to make the other person feel better in the future.  Sometimes, the future will give you a second chance to get back into the good graces of a person.  And sometimes, it doesn't.

In the situation I mentioned at the top of the entry, an action thought of by one person as a favor was thought of by me as needlessly rubbing salt into an open wound.  If you received a "gift" which only brought back sour memories, would you think of it as a favor?  I doubt it.  Hopefully, the person who got upset at me will read this and understand where I come from.  But I doubt it.  If this happens, I'll bet that I will not hear of it.  

It's going to be a long weekend

 

I'm going to be brief today.   It's going to be a long weekend, as I'm starting off with seeing FH tonight.  Normally, I see her on a Saturday due to our work schedules.  However, this week, her daughter wants to see her alone on a Saturday (mom works on Sunday) to celebrate Mother's Day.  So, guess who has to change back to Mario on Friday for a late dinner?

Saturday is a second date (if all goes right) with one woman from Jersey, and FH's change of schedule works out for me, as I can see this woman at a normal time and day.  Most importantly, I am free on Sunday.  And this means that I will be able to make a drive to Cooperstown to see Roy Hobbs' uniform again.  This trip will be one done as Marian - I hope.  

You might ask, why Cooperstown?  I have a goal in mind.  There is someone I've had a disagreement with who has mentioned what I did for her once.  Well, I want to riff on that theme and give this person a similar (but very different) gift.  In short, I want to shock the shit out of her, but leave a smile on her face.  

Let's see if all my planning works out on a busy weekend....

Thinking about my friend, WDS

(If you look carefully, WDS is reflected as behind his dog.)

The other day, I wrote about WDS's latest response to an email of mine.  So I responded with another email of my own:

WDS, 

1. I understand that there are no promises. And I'm not a person who deals in false hopes.
2. I'm glad you are not in a care home. Do you have anyone looking in on you now and then? I have similar values as you do regarding the quality of life. It was important to me that I was there to support you in your time of need, and would do that again.
3. Can you take care of any paperwork that comes your way? Do you have someone who will contact your friends and family (I only know of a half sibling of yours) when the time comes?

Remember that I will support you in the decisions you make. If you need someone to come down for a short while to help, I will do so.

Please keep me up to date on things.... Although we haven't been in the same place in years, I still consider you among my best friends.

Mario

I'm hoping that WDS understands all of what I'm trying to say.

WDS is an atheist. So saying like "my thoughts and prayers are with you" would be an insult, as he thinks that religion and worship are worthless. The fact that he is in his rented home is important to me, as it means he can control his destiny to some extent. However, I am concerned about his ability to handle paperwork, as he lost part of the brain which controls speech and language. It has also affected to use the right side of his body. Since I remember him being right handed, the effects of the stroke would be enough to make me want to take a long dirt nap. So, I can only imagine what a fitness conscious person like WDS must be feeling right now.

I'll miss WDS, although we haven't seen each other in years.  When I got the short term job at the payments firm, WDS gifted me a top of the line iPad. He made sure I couldn't refuse his gift.  There are many more things I might want to enumerate, but I won't do so right now.  Instead, I only want for him to go into the dark unknown in the way he chooses to go.  Hopefully, he'll be able to do that.  From what I can tell by the following reply, I think he'll get what he wishes.

A former member of the dog club calls me daily or twice daily and comes once a week.
Yes, I can take care of paper work.

Thank you

This is all I need to know.  I asked if he wanted me to call him, but I think he'll say No.  So in many ways, I think this will be the last communication I have with my old friend.

 

 

A quick post about a long chat

I just finished chatting with the ex.  A lot was said about two people who were too stupid to communicate well and tossed away a good relationship.  Can I say a lot about it?  No.  But I do know that a conversation I had with someone else has triggered me to return a gift - and that will cause a fit. 

More to come....

 

 

PS: I later decided not to send the gift back to the former friend.  I'll send a letter to the former friend, and regift the gift to the friend I hike with. At least, she can use that gift (or she can regift it herself).