Dresses - I love to wear them, but I have way too many of them.

 

Ever since I was little, I was envious of the women in the movies, as they could wear long, flowing dresses and no one would think strangely of them.  My TV was capable of showing Black & White images, while most of the movies on TV then were Monochrome films.  The aspect ratio of both the TV and the images on film were 4x5, and that was good enough for me.

As I grew older, I never grew out of the wish to wear dresses as part of my everyday life, and take on a woman's role.  No, I did not fancy myself being with a man.  The subconscious image I had of myself was a large, but attractive woman - sort of the woman my wife was when I married her.  Although my wife knew of my interest in wearing women's clothes, the only time she said NO to it was on our wedding night.  Too bad she couldn't have seen me now.  But then, would I have crossed one bridge too far?

Over the past 10+ years, I have built up a large feminine wardrobe, most of the garments being dresses. Several times, I've gotten to the point where I have to prune the contents of my closet to make way for new garments.  And another round of pruning will be coming up soon.  My only question will be: which garments will I be pruning?

If you were to look at my closet, I probably have more dresses than I could wear in a month.  Couple this with the contents of my storage containers, and I could fill up another donation bag with clothes that will go to charity.  Although I do not like wearing trouser like garments, I still have those I wore to the imaging firm I worked at between 2022 and 2023.  Will I get rid of them (and the tops I wore with them)?  Probably not.  I still want to blend in with as many cisgender females as possible.  But I will cull the cheap stuff from my closet while I replace it with better quality clothing.

Unlike most transgender people, I have had the luxury of buying new garments and upgrading them over time.  I have also had enough room (and privacy) to store my female clothes without having to hide them away from a wife, family, or friends. And most of all, I have a girlfriend (I should say, partner) who has no problems with me presenting as Marian.

Now if only I could get her comfortable with me having breasts of my own....

What difference a decade makes!

 

I have been traveling as Marian for about a decade and much has changed in my life.  For example, the woman who took this photo is no longer my friend.  My long term career in computing ended, I survived a couple of breakups, and a few people close to me passed away.  But the one thing I have gained is confidence. In this decade, I feel much more confident in my ability to blend in as a female. Often, people don't notice much, save for my size, when they meet me - until I let my guard down.  Over time, I have become more comfortable in telling people that I am transgender, and will do so if someone asks.

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However, I am not completely happy with my current situation.  Recently, I got my ears pierced so that I could wear a greater selection of earrings  But this may not be enough for me.  I have made a promise to RQS that I will keep - no significant body modifications while we are in a relationship.  I will trade progress on my path towards living as a female for the love of a caring woman.

But what can I do that this woman could accept?

Right now, I'm thinking of either getting hair transplants to deal with my male pattern alopecia. Maybe some partial facial feminization surgery after that. And then, I'd want to get my name changed so that my official id would have a picture of me with an androgynous hair style.  This way, people who need to do a casual inspection of my id wouldn't notice much if I were dressed as a male or female.  The big issue is what to do with my chest.  Do I want to deal with having breasts and risk a relationship?  If I were to go to that next step, I'd get "permission" from a partner, as she'd have to live with me and my new "rack".  This and more would be subjects for thought as I get older.

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This path of feminization has been a long one, and I wonder what the next decade will bring me....