Tapas

As I understand things, Spanish style Tapas are supposed to look like the dishes above.  Last night, we went to a restaurant that claimed to serve tapas, but served (what at best) could be called American style appetizers) - and we enjoyed the meal.

But first....

This was not going to be a day out as Marian, as I had to carry a couple of heavy donation bags to my car to be dropped off at Green Drop and didn't leave myself much time to do so.  Once I took care of this effort (which wasn't too much of an effort at all), we went back home to take care of laundry before going out again.

NoMa Social is a Tapas restaurant located in a hotel with the same name.  It's in the old Radisson space in New Rochelle, NY, and primarily serves the people staying at the hotel.  In a bid to gain more local business, they partnered with Groupon.com to sell 50% off coupons that could be used for meals.  Since our coupon would expire soon (given our busy November/December schedule), we decided to use it now.  (My doctor would scold me, if he knew how many rich meals I'd be eating in a two week period. But I digress....)  So, it was off to New Rochelle, where we found NoMa with the help from Google Maps.

The restaurant part of the hotel is located to the side of the hotel's entrance.  It is bright, minimalist in appearance, where the bar is the center of attention.  Most of the place is a contrast of white and black, with animated deep sea images being projected on the full width and height of the wall.  We were told to sit down where we pleased, and our waitress arrived shortly afterwards.  We ordered the special for $68, which included a pitcher of sangria, with five dishes of our choice.  We chose the following dishes: Crispy Pork Belly, Fried Chicken Dumplings, Tacos (Shrimp, Chorizo, and Beef), Calamari, and Buffalo Wings.  Although none of these dishes were out of this world tasty, they were filling and left us with a feeling that we will return again if we're in the neighborhood.

Why did I feel like talking about a restaurant today, instead of talking more about my bi-gendered life?

Well, the answer is that most of us TG people live mundane lives.  Being TG is not the focus of our lives.  But most importantly, Restaurant Six (that RQS, Vicki and I went to the other night) didn't even have the courtesy to even apologize after receiving a harsh (but polite) complaint email. (See yesterday's post for more info.)  I simply wanted talk about having pleasure eating out for a change, and had the opportunity to do so.

Can a T-Girl have too many dresses?

 

I had a hard time making a choice the other day.  J.C.Penney had the above dresses on sale for $15/ea.  Given the quality I usually find in the dresses they sell, I figure that it was worth the gamble to have 2 more summer dresses.  Yet, both are similar to dresses I already own: the first one by its pattern, and the second one by its color.  But I will be able to wear both of them now, and when I take a cruise to the Bahamas later on this year.

Even though I purchased the first two dresses,  I'm planning on buying the above dress when it eventually goes on sale.  I already own the same dress in a different pattern, and want to get it in this pattern as well.  Then, I will be done with summer shopping, and ready to fill out my winter wardrobe.

- - - - - -

 
I figure that I'll soon be moving dresses into storage bins dedicated for summer storage, and out of ones dedicated for winter storage.  Hopefully, I won't misplace dresses I have grown to love, like I did the dress from Catherine's above.  This time, when I put the above dress away for the season, I will be sure to remember where I put it.

- - - - - - 

But what does this mean for the other dresses in my closet?

Well, I expect that I will do some more pruning over the next few weeks, and make some more donation bag contributions to charity.  Have I spent way too much money on dresses?  Yes.  But the question still remains: Can a T-Girl have too many dresses in her wardrobe?

Cleaning up the mess in my apartment - a short post

 

RQS and I planned to do some cleanup work in my apartment today.  Guess what?  In less than two hours, she pronounced the place almost ready to have the cleaning lady start working in my place again.  The word "Almost" is the key word here.

- - - - - -

As I go into the nooks and crannies of my apartment, I find more things that can either be thrown out or donated to charity.  Today, we filled up another 3-4 bags for charity, as well as more bags of trash to be thrown out.  The dining room table is almost clear, and there are less boxes in back of the love seat in the left of this picture.  I couldn't have gotten this far without RQS's help, and I'll always be grateful for this help.  But I know that payback will come when I have to do the same for her at her apartment.

Once we finished dinner, it was time to go out and do some recreational shopping.  When I do this, it is always for things I could use, and not just for entertainment.  For example, today's shopping bag contained 4 LED light bulbs, Command Strips for damage free mounting pictures on walls, and a mouse pad that I can keep with my Chromebook computer.  On the way home, we stopped at Mickey D's for a treat before returning to my place.

On the whole, we accomplished more in 2 hours than I could get done in a week.  It's nice having someone around to help me be the best I can be.

Now to clean up the mess in my apartment

 

I only wish my dining room table was still this "uncluttered".  Right now, the whole apartment (including the table) is filled with clutter.  But how did it happen? And, how can I eliminate the clutter?

- - - - - -

Before Covid, the clutter in my apartment was being kept to a manageable level.  The bi-weekly (then monthly) visit by my cleaning lady gave me the incentive to keep this place neat enough for her to come in on a regular basis.  However, the pandemic got in the way of everything, and I no longer bothered trying to keep the place "neat".  (With what was going on in my life then, as mentioned in my former blog, I was too depressed to bother keeping the place neat.)  Now that I am feeling much better about life, and have a solid relationship with a new girlfriend, it's still hard to get this place in order.  I no longer have the energy to do much of anything without some assistance.

Over the past year or so, I have been donating bags of clothes I no longer wear to charity.  God knows how many bags I've already donated.  But now, things have slowed down a bit.  Yet, I have much more to get rid of, and RQS will help me prune things some more.  I'm a bit embarrassed to have people come into this place, and I will have to make room for an electrician to work on every outlet.  We have aluminum wiring on our 15a circuits, and they need to make sure that the proper connectors are being used, so that we don't have an electrical fire.  I'm going to be quite busy soon!

With all the effort I'm likely to make, I expect one important thing to come of all of this - a less cluttered apartment.  Let's hope that I can keep it that way.

A relatively quiet weekend with RQS

This weekend, RQS and I decided to go to the Eastville Comedy Club to see Janeane Garafalo.  RQS had gotten free tickets to the comedy club the week before, and we planned our weekend around meeting in NYC, then proceeding to Westchester for the next few nights.

As usual, I decided to park at Croton-Harmon for two reasons - I was leery of being late for a train, and there would be twice as many trains taking us home than would be if I parked at Cortlandt.  So, I caught a local train into the city, and made it to the restaurant a little bit earlier than expected.  RQS was comfortable with me meeting her in Marian Mode, and we ate out before the show at one of our favorite Indian restaurants, Ghandi Cafe, on Bleecker street. 

Around 6:45, we paid the bill and went to the subway for our trip to Brooklyn.  Luckily, the comedy club was in Downtown Brooklyn, a short distance from where RQS used to work.  We reached the place at 7:30, and sat down to wait for the comedy to begin.  The crowd came in, but the air conditioning didn't come on until the MC started with his gags.  So I wished I could have waited in another area until the room cooled down - which was 20 minutes into the show.  

Going to a comedy club is hit and miss at best for me.  I've found that most comics aren't that funny, and this Friday's performers confirmed my belief.  The MC was funny, but the second comedian lingered too long on a sexual act.  Then Janeane Garafalo came on, and we were bored by her rambling.  At least, she warned the audience about it before she started.  (As an aside, I had a short, pleasant exchange of words with her before I took a bio-break.)  It was a shame that I missed half of the next comedian's set, as he was the funniest of all.  At least the fifth person on stage was relatively funny, and we left for home after she finished her set.

The trip to Croton was uneventful, and we were both glad to go to bed - even if I had a hard time sleeping (as usual).

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we were both very tired.  This was a day that I had planned to go to the bank, drop off a couple of donation bags, and then pick up some food for dinner at Uncle Giuseppe's.  By the time we got home, we weren't in the mood to do much.  But we cooked dinner and found some something lacking - there was no flavor in the sausage I had bought.  Given that a home cooked meal can be hit or miss, I'd call this meal as not even hitting the target.  Next time, I'll plan better.

- - - - - -

Sunday found us without energy.  However, we finally got all the financial details worked out for our California cruise and booked it.  (I'll bet that the travel agent thought we weren't serious about using his services until we booked with him.  He may have been burnt too many times by too many people comparison shopping, and wasting his time.)  Given that the only reason we are going to LA will be to see my uncle, we feel that using an Uber to get to a restaurant may be the best use of our money.

When the evening came, RQS suggested that I get dressed as Marian, and we went out for ribs.  Although RQS suggested Boston Market, thinking of the last time we wanted ribs and got an order of chicken instead, I suggested a nearby Chinese Buffet - and she loved the idea.  Two or three plates later, we were both sated, and ready for the bill.  She thought we had spent more for this meal than on Boston Market, I corrected her - we only spent $5 more (before tip), and got much more value in return.

- - - - - -

Monday came, and RQS had to go home.  I wasn't in the mood to go out as Marian on a rainy day, so I got dressed as Mario and reluctantly took RQS to the station to go home.  Arriving home, RQS said that her cats wouldn't leave her alone until they were fed - and that they both wanted her attention, as they probably missed her over the weekend....

Game Night - The first of the new year.

 

Normally at this time of year, we'd have already had a coating of the white stuff around here and the above scene would be replicated at a nearby park.  Sadly for our reservoirs, we haven't had any snow yet.  But we have had more than enough "warm" days for any winter season.  

With the above being said, tonight's rain made me want to stay home instead of going to Yonkers to play games.  Since I am a regular, I decided to go - and had fun with the gang.  It's always nice to be with this crowd, as I always go as Marian.  And, as usual, I never seem to win any games, but have fun doing so.

Tonight, two of my favorite attendees weren't able to attend.  Given that one's parent is not in the best of health, it was expected that they would be taking care of that parent.  I missed the female half of the couple, as we always have interesting chats after the games are over.  (Yes, she knows I'm trans, and it doesn't matter to her.)  However, a couple of others that I wanted to see were there, and it was nice to see them again.

On other matters....

Lately, I've slowly made process in cleaning up my apartment.  Today, I made the decision to take two donation bags that were ready to go to charity, add a couple of comforters to those bags, and bring them to the donation center the next time I go out.  Additionally, I'm also finding a new home for a piece of luggage that I no longer use, clearing out even more space in my place.  But most importantly, I got around to hanging a poster my brother got me for Christmas - in the one remaining space in the apartment where it wouldn't distract from other things displayed in the apartment....

Doing almost nothing until....

 

Lately, RQS and I have gotten into a routine.  In the mornings, we tend to stay up late, and then start to get moving in the afternoon.  This week was no different.

- - - - - -

We only had two things to do this Saturday - pick up a couple of books from the local library, and then drop off some donation bags at the local charity receiving center.  So, by 3 pm, we got ourselves moving and took care of these errands.

Once we were done with the mandated tasks, it was time to pick up some storage containers I could use to reorganize the refrigerator. And that meant a trip to Target, and then to Walmart.  If we weren't planning on a trip to Shoprite to pick up some lobsters, we would have driven North on Route 22 and explored Eastern Dutchess county.  But I digress.  

After getting home from Shoprite, I started to put water in the stock pot I use for boiling lobster, and let it get to a nice rolling boil before starting to put lobsters in the pot.  Then, I took care of the pot I used for cooking the corn to go with our lobster dinner.  Once the lobsters were ready, I set the food on the table, and we proceeded to have a tasty dinner for less than we would have spent going to a  restaurant.  Yum!

Next, it was time to reorganize and clean the refrigerator.  And this is where a couple of minor mishaps occurred. First, RQS knocked a glass off the counter, and we had to clean broken glass off the floor.  And then, she broke the crisper at the bottom of the refrigerator.  (I'll replace this with an OEM part when I get around to is.)  I eased her mind a little, then fixed the crisper for use until I can replace it. At this point, it was time to throw out stuff which has already gotten too old for consumption - including 6 bottles of white wine which have sat in the icebox for 10-20 years. In addition, there was 1 bottle that had to be over 25 years old, as I know it was a gift from my late wife's employer.  (As you can guess, I don't drink much wine at home.)

Buying storage containers for use in a refrigerator is a hit or miss thing. (At least, it is for me.)  I can eyeball a space and have a good idea of what fill fit in that space.  Yet, sometimes, I make a mistake and buy things that won't fit.  Today's trip was a little bit of both, as I was left with 2 containers which wouldn't fit into the spaces in which I wanted to use them.  When RQS made her first pass at refrigerator reorganization, she didn't pick up on the nuances I planned to use in reorganization.  So I sat on the floor and started to organize what was on the shelves into storage containers that made things easy to get at.

The two of us are a couple who have been working well together.  Unlike my relationship with XGFJ, I'm finding that we talk to each other more about the important things in the relationship.  Yes, there are elephants in the room, but we seem to be able to talk about the beast and how it has to be handled.  It's a nice feeling.... 

Good days end with lobster

 

 

Last night, I sent a long delayed response to someone who was expecting an almost immediate response from me. There was one big reason I didn't immediately respond - I needed to figure out what I want to say, as the elephant in this person's room was not an elephant in my room.  (Sorry to keep the details secret.  I just don't want to alienate this person in case she reads my blog.)

This person probably did not want me to feel hurt, when she revealed this something.  But I had long since let go of that part of our past.  So, I had to delay my response.  Since there was another person involved, I had to make sure that any comments about this other person were on spot and well deserved.  I don't know how many more conversations I'll have with the first person, but both of us will be talking about our present lives, and not our past lives.

- - - - - -

Now back to me....

You may have noticed me writing about a favorite food truck (Cousins Maine Lobster) that circulates all over NYC and its nearby NYS suburbs.  Today, the truck was within 5 minutes of my house, so I planned to drive there after work.  My first stop was to drop off two bags to the thrift shop.  Instead of getting an electronic receipt, as I did in the past, I received a card which I could fill in myself.  This is not as good as I'd like, as I could print my copy on standard letter paper.  However, it does allow me to enter whatever quantity of donation bags I want.  So, everything balances out in the end.  

And then it was off for some lobster.  Given that the truck was positioned on the site of a church's fair,  the parking was horrendous.  However, getting my lobster was quicker than usual, as they had lots of food ready for quick sale.  From the time I parked my car to the time I returned to it, 10 minutes had expired, and I had a 10 minute drive to get home.  You can guess what was the first thing I did after stripping off my dress and taking off my bra.  Luckily, I had nothing else to do this evening.....

Being lazy can be so refreshing.

 

I've been trying to find the dress in this picture amongst the clothing in my storage containers.  Sadly, I either donated it by accident, or it is hopelessly lost amongst things I've tossed away.  After letting my apartment go to hell for the better part of two years, I've been slowly working my way through all the clutter in my place.

- - - - - -

After doing nothing all day yesterday, I thought I'd have the energy to get a bit done today.  Surprise!  I had even less energy than yesterday.  I was barely able to get myself moving until 4 pm.  And then, I got a call from TCL that lasted 2 hours.  (I really didn't want to stay on this long, but something happened that she needed to talk about - and we did just that.)  But this got in the way of my plans to shop at Wegmans, and then call for NCL for information on the Hawaii cruise I plan on taking.

Once done with TCL, I got showered and dressed, and off to White Plains for food shopping. On my way home, I called MWL to keep in touch.  Like me, she did a lot of nothing today, save that she took down some of her Xmas decorations.  It was a pleasant chat, and she told me how Covid (Omicron) is affecting her lately. Like CWS (and my new friend, RQS), MWL isn't going much of anywhere these days.  Almost all my friends are afraid of the Omicron variant.

I never accomplished two of the things I wanted to do today - Laundry and Calling NCL for cruise information.  Yet, I'm comfortable with what little I did today.  I've needed to rest for a while, and I've gotten two days of needed rest this weekend.

 

The end of a week, and I'm all alone.

 

I really don't have much to say about today.  I had nowhere important to go, and no one important to see.  Yet, most of my time was occupied by one thing or another.

- - - - - -

Around noon, I met with another co-op board member to work on the meeting minutes.  Between the two us, we did little for the minutes, and a not of talking.  It was a big waste of time.  And then, I had to rush out to Greendrop to make another charitable donation - another 2 "donation bags" were cleared out of the house to do some good for somebody....

My return home was not meant to keep me inside for the rest of the day.  Yet, that's exactly what it did.  So, I ended up sorting through many of the papers cluttering up my desk and making the mess on top of it a manageable one.  Afterwards, I ended up chatting with friends - one of them until midnight.  

Tomorrow, it'll be the first day of the new year (yes, this entry was written over a week and a half ago), and it will be time to get out of the house.  With the omicron variant of Covid-19 going around, many of my friends are hunkering down again until another "all clear" is given.  As for me, I plan to be careful.

You know your closet has overflowed when....

Recently, I awakened by hearing a noise that I couldn't identify.  When I got up to go to the bathroom, I didn't see anything amiss - virtually everything was where I expected it to be.  But it really wasn't.  Today, when I looked at my closet, I noticed that the closet rod had failed. Over time, excess weight on the rod from all of my dresses had caused it to warp and come out of its support.  This caused most of the clothes in the closet to fall on the carpeted floor, giving me an excuse to prune even more things from the closet.

Although I should have done something to support the rod better, I didn't.  So I shouldn't have been surprised that my overflowing closet's rod would fail me again.  But it did give me an excuse to fill up a donation bag, this time with "sparkly" tops I don't wear anymore, some gifts to me from friends, and some shoes I've picked up along the way.  Yet, I haven't seemed to make much of a dent in things.

Over time, I plan to do some more extensive pruning of the things I have in this closet.  I've bought way too many dresses, tops, bottoms and shoes for one woman to wear.  I've become much more of a clothes horse than my wife ever was.  However, I can still afford to indulge myself in having a full closet.  And, I have developed a better sense of what clothing I can and should wear in certain situations thanks to the friends I've had in my life.

. 

 

It's a fine day to do some house cleaning!

 

You should have seen this corner of the room before I started work on it!  There was a pile of assorted stuff where the fan is that had to be sorted through and dealt with - Keep, Donate, or Trash.  To do so, I had to make space in a second closet for the stuff I needed to keep.  So far, I'm at least $40 richer, as I found a cell phone holder that contained: (1) a $20 bill, (2) an MTA Metrocard for use on the subways, and (3) a blank check to be used for my co-pay when I visit my doctor.

At the time I wrote this, I still had the time to either go into NYC to catch a Broadway play at half price, or to visit my brother on Long Island.  So I'll talk about this (if warranted) some other day.  For now, I plan to keep up with my cleaning, then call CWS about getting together tomorrow.  At least, she understands the headaches of deferred house cleaning.

- - - - - -

A while back, I noted that I let things go to hell in my place shortly after the pandemic struck.  With the loss of two of the people I used to lean on for support, I had to build a new network from scratch - something very hard to do during the pandemic.  The mess that built up in this place was a direct result of the depression I was going through at the time.  Little did I know how bad this mess would grow.

Right now, my living room/dining area is a mess, and is filled with 5 large bags used for items I mean to donate to charity.  There will be more bags to go to charity in the near future, as I don't want to have storage containers (or shoes) in the other 3 corners of the bedroom.  Assuming that I were to get a new job (I'm waiting for the results of the interview.  I'm not counting on an offer, as I expect that age discrimination has already taken me out of the running), I will spend a couple of free days in a row to clean up this place.

Once I have this place tolerably clean, and have a place inside my closets for all of my feminine stuff, I will again have my cleaning lady come.  I'll bet that she will need an extra couple of hours (or more) to get rid of the dust, etc. that has accumulated over the two years since her last visit.

Enjoying a needed lazy day doing very little.

After a large feast, one's body needs time to recover.  And today was my time to rest.  I could have gone out and run some errands.  Instead, I relaxed in bed all day until evening came.  And then, as the sun went down, I started to fill up another donation bag (or two) with clothing from Mario's side of the closet.  I feel that if I lose weight, I would be better served by buying a new wardrobe in my new size, instead of wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in several years.

If you wonder why I might refresh Mario's side of the closet some time in the future, it's simply because I'm not sure if I want to close the door as going out as Mario now and then. Until then, I have more than enough clothing on that side of the closet to get by.

- - - - - -

Right now, I know of some people who are also doing this sort of house/apartment cleaning.  One person I know has a deadline to get a residence cleaned out.  Another person simply has to pack up his goods and move out of a condo he's been living in for 3 years.  And still another person I know is simply doing a declutter operation, so that her place stays clean.  This person has suggested that I hire some help (as TCL has done) to facilitate this process.  I am not yet ready for this yet.  Instead, I'm treating my cleaning task as a form of "Swedish Death Cleaning."

My current goal is to prune both Mario's and Marian's closets to something resembling a normal couple's closets. And this involves a little ruthless pruning of things that are no longer worn in either mode.  I have already pruned garments given to me by my former cruise partner.  But I have kept a few of the things which are compatible with my current wardrobe style.

Hopefully, I will get the bulk of this cleanup done before I have the opportunity to bring someone back to the apartment.  But first, this cleanup, then getting my cleaning lady in to do her magic....

It's Raining!

Yesterday, the weather forecast said that we would get a heavy rain starting tonight and running into overmorrow (an unfortunately obsolete English word meaning: the day after tomorrow).  Given that the forecast calls for 6 inches of rain falling between now and then, I do not plan to "dress pretty" when I go to work for the next 2 days.

- - - - - -

I had some errands I wanted to do after work today, and I was unable to do them, as I wanted to be home before the rains started.  Instead of doing these tasks, I decided to catch up with some people with whom I've been out of contact with for months.

Luckily, I saw that the closet rod in the closet holding my female wardrobe still is in place.  But leaving it in place is only a short term way of dealing with a problem - I need a new rod with a center support, so that I can't overload the rod anymore.  Right now, this is my excuse to fill another "Donation Bag."  and I'm preparing to donate clothes which no longer fit my style and taste.

When I extracted clothes for my first 2 donation bags, I found that I had clothes that I had bought almost a decade ago that I haven't worn in years.  Some of these garments are hard to let go of.  For example, I had 2 Lands End skirts that don't fit my needs anymore.  If I knew I'd be wearing them, I'd keep them in my closet.  But out they go!  The same goes for old shoes and other accessories I don't wear.  Now, I wear clothes which minimize my male pattern body, and emphasize the feminine parts that I should show off.  (Ex-GF-M always said that I have a great pair of legs, so I try to wear clothes which show them off.)

By the time I'm done, I may have 4, 5 or 6 donation bags to go to a good cause.  However, I try not to think of how much money I've spent on women's clothes which do not fit me well enough to keep.  At least, spending this money allowed me to learn what works and what doesn't work on my body.  Cisgender women learn this while they are young Transgender women usually learn this when they are older.  Thankfully, these lessons didn't break the bank....