Lunch with RQS's friend.

RQS and I haven't been to this restaurant in a while.  And it's always a treat going here.  This time, we went with RQS's friend, spending the better part of the afternoon with her.

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The day began with neither of us wanting to get out of bed.  It was cold the night before, and we were comfy under the covers when we woke up.  Our friend would be coming around 12:30 pm - 1 pm, and we didn't want to make her wait for us.  So both of rushed to get showered and dressed, and we were ready just as the friend got to RQS's door.

Our friend, let's call her J for now, arrived and we proceeded to chat for a few minutes before summoning an Uber.  One catch - the Uber arrived in less than a minute after summoning.  So RQS ended locking her door as J was getting into the car.  15 minutes later, we were at Zum Stammtisch and ready to feast.  However, we had to wait another 10 minutes for a table to be cleared for us before sitting down.

Once seated, we took our time to order, and then the food arrived.  I enjoyed some herring in cream before my jagerschnitzel arrived.  After lunch, we ordered dessert, and I had some warm strudel topped with ice cream.  No one rushed us, and we had time for a leisurely lunch and post meal discussion.  We then returned to RQS's apartment until J's friend came to pick her up.

What I didn't mention so far is that J is visually impaired, and that she uses Ubers to get around instead of Access-a-Ride (AAR).  I can't blame her, as AAR isn't that reliable.  (This is a well known issue among the visually impaired community.)  None of us wanted to take buses on a cold and blustery day, so we used Ubers to get to the restaurant.  On the whole, it was a very nice day, and I hope that the 3 of us can get together again soon. (And I hope we'll be able to tell J about my alter ego as well.)

I wish it were legal to kill rude neighbors, but we called the police instead.

 

When we first started to talk about what we were doing this weekend, I was originally planning to go to RQS's place as Marian.  However, I didn't have enough of my winter wardrobe ready for a cold weekend (cold by recent standards, that is) in NYC.  So, I surprised RQS by picking her up at the doctor's office as Mario and was lucky to find a spot near her house.

Why were we in NYC this weekend?

When one has an apartment in an older part of the city, one has to deal with vermin of all sorts (rodents, roaches, and other unwanted critters) on a regular basis.  This weekend, the exterminator was scheduled to come between 12 and 1 pm.  (In the past, he was scheduled to come between 10 am and noon, but things changed lately.)  So, both of us got showered and dressed, then waited - and waited for an exterminator who never came.  After a call to the super, we gave up and left for our next stop - RQS's storage compartment.

RQS has been cleaning out her storage compartment as long as I've known her.  Don't get me wrong.  She has a room sized compartment near her home which contains the detritus from her late parents' house which she has had to sort through over time.  So, we ended up spending time there, sorting through boxes, compacting empty cardboard boxes, and making it easier to get at things in the compartment.  After a couple of hours there, it was time to return to her apartment to rest a bit.

One of the movies we wanted to see is Conclave.  It is a story about what happens when a pope dies, and the political shenanigans which occur when some cardinals jockey to be elected pope.  Without giving away the final wrinkle in the film, there is bribery, there is a child born out of wedlock, and there is an incognito cardinal (with certification) who has been serving in Kabul, Afghanistan - all the things that would make a story about a papal Conclave interesting.  We highly recommend this movie for those who like intelligent drama.

Once the film was over, we ended up going back home.  And that's where things became sour.  One neighbor was having a party, playing music loud enough to make the glassware in RQS's curio cabinet rattle.  One could feel the floor thump a little due to the repetitive bass line from the loudness of the music being played.  It was 10:30 pm, and we wanted to sleep.  Our next door neighbor on the same floor was also being annoyed.  Since we couldn't be sure of whether it was the apartment below us causing the problem, or the noise was from the building next door, RQS called the police.  30 minutes later, it seemed as if things quieted down.  Just as well - I'd hate to see things continue like this because of an inconsiderate neighbor.

Norwegian Fjord Cruise Vacation - 06/21/24 (Sea Day #3)

 

The day started off by bright sunlight coming in from our balcony doors, waking us up hours before our normal wake-up time.  The ship had crossed the Arctic Circle, and both of us were awarded certificates for this event.  It's a nice and inexpensive way to give cruisers a keepsake to remember the cruise by.

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The first thing we planned to do was attend an enrichment presentation on the port after next, Trondheim.  However, we ended up missing it because we were relaxing in our cabin.  So, at 1 pm, we went to the outdoor pizza venue for some slices and were greeted by some frigid air.  BRRRR!   We grabbed our slices and went indoors to eat.  On our way back to the buffet area, we saw several people in the pool and in the hot tubs.  I wouldn't do that in this weather.  Shortly after our pizza run, it was time for afternoon tea.

Afternoon tea was pleasant.  We struck up conversations with several people at our table.  One couple was from Oklahoma, and we were able to maintain a civil conversation that referenced politics without trying to defend positions of either major political party.  (My statements focused on the commonality of opinions shared by most Americans, as the leaders of each party have gone to the extremes.)  RQS was having her conversations with people on the other side of our table as well.  After tea was over, a couple  came up to us and mentioned that they visit NYC from time to time.  Of course, I gave them tourist advice that most people wouldn't get from guidebooks - to venture into the outer boroughs to see functioning ethnic neighborhoods such as Arthur Avenue (a real Little Italy) and Flushing (Asian enclaves for Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and Koreans).

Later on, we had a specialty meal scheduled at the steakhouse.  As much as we tried, there was no way we could finish our meals.  We started with a sea scallop appetizer. The onion soup came next, and it was fantastic, as was the steak.  Instead of ordering a 16 oz. beef chop, I should have ordered the 7 oz. filet. RQS couldn't finish her smaller main course, and I had to leave most of my steak uneaten.  Neither of us could complain about our desserts, but they weren't exactly what would sate our cravings for the evening.

And now, thoroughly loaded up with carbs to digest, it was off to our room and off to sleep.  

Valentine's Day - Only the weather at first was cold

 

I won't say too much about Valentine's Day, save that I went to RQS's place and went out for dinner.  Well, I kept joking that I'd made reservations for two at a restaurant called "Der Weissen Schloss".  She knew my joke - I would never participate in White Castle's Valentine's Day gimmick, as that would kill a relationship.

RQS knew what I had gotten her as a gift.  But I didn't know what her gift would be.  I was pleasantly surprised by her gift - a pair of earrings, golden hoops to be exact.  She more than accepts me as Marian!  YAY!   I can't wait to wear these earrings for her someday soon.

RQS and I left for dinner around 6.  We had originally planned to go to an Italian restaurant 10 minutes away by bus.  With the cold, we decided to eat at a Thai restaurant a few blocks away from her house.  One problem - the place was closed.  So we tried a local Italian joint, and they couldn't seat us until 9 pm.  That wasn't a realistic choice.  So we walked to a nearby Indian/Nepali joint.  Although the food was good, it was not to my taste - I would prefer to try another Indian place if one was available.

By the time we got home, we were both cold and tired.  Blame the weather on that....  

Meeting RQS's Friend

 

Yes, is a picture taken of me over a decade ago.  But I don't want to show a picture of RQS or her friend in this blog.

We had arranged to meet in NYC several weeks ago, and it was nice to be back in Marian mode again. RQS and I got ready to take the train into NYC, and I noticed that one of my dresses had a rip at one seam.  Since I couldn't wear that dress, I had to substitute a sweater dress in its stead - and that was a good thing, considering the cold weather outside.

Arriving at Grand Central an hour ahead of our expected time, we killed some of it in the waiting room over a cup of coffee.  And then it was off to lunch.  When we arrived at our destination, I noted that it couldn't be the Chick-fil-A on the corner, as corporate management is anti-LGBT.  Luckily, we were meeting at the French themed shop next door. And that's where a complication arose - there were no seats, and RQS had already paid for lunch.  So we ended up walking a block to another place, and again - no seats.  Both places had turned into de-facto office spaces, with people both eating and working at the tables.  Again, we picked up and left - for the Wendy's next door.

Time flowed way too quickly.  Her friend greeted me as Marian, and we hit it off instantly. If I didn't have to be back in Croton by 6 to get my car out of the parking lot, we would have stayed longer.  But it was a good excuse to take my leave.  Surprisingly, I made it home by 5:15, as I caught a non-stop express to Croton and beyond. 

Baby, it's cold outside.

 

I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Baby, it's cold outside

 

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Many years ago, a smart lyricist penned the tune "Baby, it's cold outside."  It was that cold this past weekend, and it caused RQS and I to stay in for the time we were together.

The weekend started with a snow alert.  Since this weekend was my turn to go to RQS's place, I knew that I couldn't leave my car in its usual spot, as they use it to dispose of snow plowed from our driveway.  So, I parked it in a visitor's spot and took a cab to the train station.

Normally, if I take mass transit to RQS's place, it takes me around 2-2½ hours to get to her place.  This weekend, it took almost 3 hours as I was delayed due to a conversation I had with a couple of neighbors. (One neighbor has been sick for a while, and he was discussing issues he had with the local hospital.)  After the 1¼ hour ride on the local, I found that I had a problem with my reduced fare Metrocard, and had to use my full fare OMNY card instead to get on the subway, and then on the bus for a total of another 1¼-1½ hours. Eventually, I reached RQS's place where she had dinner waiting for me.

Given that neither of us wanted to brave the cold, we decided to stay indoors as much as possible. And that's where we stayed, with the exception of a trip to her local library to drop off books, then the local bodega to pick up food for breakfast and dinner.  BRRRR!  I won't say much about her adjustable bed, save that it was comfortable and that I kept sliding towards the foot board.  If I find that I like this bed when the weather gets warmer, I might buy one for myself.

All too quickly, the weekend ended.  When we left the house, it was a little warmer outside and was almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop.  Why "almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop?"  Well, we saw the express bus that would take us to the subway, and neither of us thought we'd make it to the bus stop on time.  I realized that with the timing of traffic lights and the out of service bus in front of it, we had a chance of catching the bus.  And I got to the bus stop just in time, allowing RQS a chance to catch up with me and enjoy a short ride - no waiting needed or possible!  When we reached Grand Central, it was time to part.  At least, we know where we'll be next weekend.

As cold as a witch's....

 

Today ended up being a stay-at-home day, as SJM had to postpone our lunch until next week.  That was OK with me, as I really didn't want to get dressed, go out in the cold to clean the snow off my car, then drive to lunch.  I was nice and happy in my warm apartment, and didn't want to change things or make any effort to do so.

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I figure that I have to fight off the lethargy that has taken over my life as of late.  And I plan to get out of the house tomorrow, if only to go to another meetup and get out in the world with people.  But that doesn't say much about today, does it?  For the most part, I did almost nothing of note other than watching videos and resting.  Could it be that I have a hibernation instinct?  I doubt it.  

Eventually, I had to take out the garbage.  So I got dressed enough to make it to the dumpster, brush the snow off the car, and get my mail from the mailbox before returning to my apartment.  While outside, I noticed how cold it was, and noted that it will be 10 degrees colder this coming weekend when I'm with RQS.  Given that it might snow again, I may just leave my car in a visitor's space while I use mass transit to visit RQS at her place.

Once done with the outside world for the night, it was on to a Zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  We presented the option of getting together in the fall, but it looks like we'll have a better chance of getting together in 2025 when it is warm and dry.  (Or, at least, I hope so.) My one requirement is that if we meet somewhere, the place we meet must be LGBT friendly - especially to people of a non-conforming gender presentation. Although we talked of many things, I won't go into all of what we chatted about.  In short, it was nice to chat with these friends again....

A long weekend with RQS, with little being done.

 

I ended up starting my visit to RQS on the coldest fay of the year so far in NYC.  Night time temperatures before wind chill factoring were in the low teens, and neither of us wanted to go out in the cold. Although I had to fight some traffic, it was an easy ride to her area, and I was able to find a nearby parking spot within a couple of minutes of arriving in her area. This was a good thing, as the air outside felt as if it was in the single digits.  This was one time that I wasn't traveling as Marian.

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Saturday came, and the temperature started to warm up.  Yet, it wasn't warm enough to want to stay outside for long, so we only ventured outdoors to get dinner and dessert.  We caught a bus to a nearby restaurant and had a mice meal of Veal Ossobuco over Risotto.  YUM!  RQS was surprised that dinner cost as much as it did after tax and tip.  So she decided to buy some pastries for us to have for dessert. Luckily, we were able to wait for the return bus inside the pastry shop, so we were relatively comfortable when we got home.

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Normally, Sunday would be the last day of our weekend together.  However, the parking spot I had didn't require me to move my car until early Tuesday morning. So I was able to stay an extra day.  As a result, we were able to visit Chelsea Market in Manhattan.  Although this is more a place to eat than one to buy high end food, we did find a couple of diversions - one of which being a bookstore.  (I ended up buying a book for myself and a book to give her for Valentine's day - she already knows of the tickets I bought her for an A.J. Croce concert to be held early next month.)

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Monday was a day on the bonus plan, and we finished our binge watch of HBO's Perry Mason series.  RQS is hooked on this series and on The Newsroom.  (The 1st episode of the latter got her hooked.)  Unfortunately, the day was too short, and I still needed to do things at home.  So it was with a touch of sadness that I had to go home.

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Do I wish I could have spent time as Marian?  YES!  But it wouldn't have been practical for this weekend.  And, because I haven't heard back from an acquaintance in DC, I'll be spending all of my time there in Mario mode.  AARGH!  At least, RQS wasn't the person suggesting this.  Instead, I made the decision, as it made my efforts to pack for a 5 day trip to DC much easier than packing for a Marian/Mario trip.

A trip to the supermarket

 

 

Normally, I would have no reason to go to a supermarket in Brooklyn.  But today wasn't a normal day.  FH has heard me talk about the Wegmans in White Plains, and she wanted to see the one in Brooklyn.  So, it was off to Brooklyn to fill up a shopping cart.

Driving the 8.5 miles from Forest Hills to the Brooklyn Navy Yard takes longer than one might think, as there is always traffic on the Long Island Expressway (LIE) and Brooklyn Queens Expressway (BQE).  But the worst part of the trip is finding a spot in Wegmans' parking lot. (We didn't know it, but if we spent more than $15, we could have our parking ticket validated for the paid lot next door.) Yet, once we found a spot, we had a short walk to the store.

FH was very impressed with the size of the store.  The closest she could come to a comparison was Whole Foods, and that was a smaller store with similar (above average) prices. She was impressed with the variety of foods available in the store, including things such as Lobster Mac & Cheese, Sushi, Heat & Eat Mexican, fresh fish and other foods not seen in her "local" supermarket.

A filled shopping cart later, we were ready to leave the store for home.  (No, I won't say how much she spent, but I think she was a wee bit surprised when she found out how much everything cost.)  At least, it was easier to get back to Forest Hills than it was to get to Brooklyn.  And it was much easier to find a spot around 7 pm, than it would be a couple of hours later.

After having some Chinese food upstairs, we settled down to watch "The White Tiger" on Netflix.  During the film, FH and her daughter had a disagreement, and I was caught in the middle of things.  Without saying much, I was there for FH as she talked about some private issues.  And then, we finished watching the film.  I was pleasantly surprised that this film had a plot I liked, a good script with acting to match.  FH thought that my surprise might have been a prejudice against Indian films (which could be true.)  But I countered that I don't like the typical Bollywood film that breaks into a musical number at the most inopportune moment.  (I dislike most Hollywood musicals, and Bollywood takes the idea of a musical a few steps further than Hollywood ever could.) Thinking about it, maybe my film watching bias is towards cultures with which I am more familiar.

And then, it was time to go home.  As I drove down the hill leading into Croton, a sudden chill came into the car.  It's as if cold air had been trapped close to water level, and once encountered, the car's heater couldn't warm up the inside of the car quick enough not to notice a change.  

Tomorrow will be a food shopping day, as a big snowstorm is expected Sunday night through Tuesday morning.  I guess I'll have to postpone my doctor's appointment originally scheduled for this Monday.

When I woke up, it was colder than I originally expected.

It was not this cold outside today, but it was colder than I expected. 

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The last time I went out walking, it was in the 40's. And I felt comfortable outside wearing a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt under a coat when I walked with my friend from my Thursday night group.  Today, being 10 degrees cooler than my last outdoor walk, I figured that it might be a little too cold for me to walk outdoors. So I texted a friend, and asked if we could change our get together from a walk and maybe a bite to eat to just a bite to eat. And our plans changed, so that we could meet at a local brewpub.  

Around 1 pm, we met at the empty brewpub and talked about many things.  I talked about many of the things I mention in this blog: some with more detail than I write here, and some with less detail. One of the things I mentioned was that I had no place yet to go for Xmas. So now, I have a place to go if I have no other invitations for the day.  Because it was warmer than either of us expected when we finished with lunch, we took the chance to move our cars out of the brewpub's parking lot to a place where it was safe to park the cars for an hour or so. And then we walked a short distance before turning back.  (BTW: I found out that I need to put a pair of gloves into the pockets of my new coat.)

As I've mentioned here and elsewhere, I'm a bit concerned about how this winter is going to look like.  Will people hunker down at home and take realistic precautions against being infected by the virus?  Or, will they throw caution to the wind (albeit slowly) and allow the pandemic to continue its second wave? I plan to obey all of the restrictions put upon us by  our state's government, as I don't want another lock down as is now about to start in California.

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Thinking of California for a minute, several of my acquaintances live in the San Francisco Bay area.  My Aunt and Uncle live in Los Angeles. They will all be affected by the upcoming lock downs.  The state is an example of a government which has delegated too much power to the people. At least one county (San Mateo) is not planning on following the governor's directive to do a 3 week lock down.  Instead, they plan to perform a "Swiss Cheese" approach to closing things down, and as a result, have very little effect in stopping the spread of the virus.

Recently, I found a new search engine (people locator), and I may have found where an ex girlfriend of 44 years ago lives.  If I'm right, I'll consider dropping off some snail mail just to say hello.  I don't have much to say, I live on the other side of the country, and I pose no threat to this woman's comfort.  So, I might have a pleasant response if I do this.  The odds are that I won't send this letter.  But it would be nice to reconnect with someone who affected my life in a positive manner and tell her this after all these years.

Another acquaintance in the Bay Area knows about my bi-gendered nature, and is comfortable with it.  Hopefully, she will survive the winter, and that I'll get to see her on my next visit to the Bay area.  It's been around 8 years since I was there last, and it's time to get out there again. This time, it'll be much more expensive for me to visit. But I'm coupling this trip with: (1) a visit to LA to see my Aunt and Uncle, (2) a broken leg train trip from LA to Seattle, (3) meeting up with my nephew in Seattle, and (4) a cross country train trip back home.  It'll be an expensive trip.  So it won't be something I'll do on the spur of the moment.

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Now that I've started to think of warm places, Florida comes to mind.  I have some acquaintances I'd like to visit there, and have no intentions of doing so until the pandemic lifts. As is well known, the governor is a GOP buffoon, and doesn't take the pandemic seriously. He hews to the Trump party line. And this has put an ex girlfriend of mine (and her partner) at risk. No, I do not plan to visit this ex.  But I would like to visit two people who have been mentioned in my previous blog before life made other plans for me.

Assuming I decide to visit Florida, my trips between cities will need to be taken as Mario.  I don't trust this state's attitudes towards people like me in this political climate.  One could easily get killed if the wrong people were to find out my biological gender doesn't match up with my gender presentation.  As much as some people have no trouble "traveling pretty" (as Kim would put it), I still feel that I have to be very careful.  But I'm not in any hurry.  I don't plan on making this trip until next winter at the earliest.

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Hopefully, I will get back to traveling and meeting people sometime next year.  I'm more than willing to pay the price in loneliness to get out the other side of this pandemic without catching the virus. But it is a heavier price than I'd like to pay to be on the other side....