Lunch, and an aborted evening

 

My brother seems to call at the darnedest times.  Today, he called me as I was getting dressed for lunch.  And this evening, he called when I was getting ready to go out again.  Both times were interruptions to my routines.  I responded differently in the evening - I was no longer in the mood to go out for anything.

But first....

I had only one thing on the docket for today - lunch with my friend from the census.  We get together on a monthly schedule, and it's usually either Mexican or Italian, as she's a vegetarian.  Since she goes to the health club at noon and gets out at 1 pm, we know the time to meet-1:30 pm. The only decision we have to make is which restaurant we'll eat at.  And that decision is usually made the night before.

My brother called me at lunch time, just before I was to apply my makeup.  He wanted me to review the paperwork for someone who wants to rent out the family homestead.  I said that the people look stable, and would be good renters.  Then, I had to cut my brother off, as I had to finish getting ready to go out.  Luckily, I still had a few minutes to spare, and I was able to make it to Ossining at 1:30 on the dot.

My friend and I order almost the same thing - Baked Ziti.  There was only one difference between the two dishes: hers had no meat, while mine had several meatballs with the ziti.  We talked about what is going on in our lives.  For me, it was the upcoming cruise and that we have renters for the family homestead.  For her, it was her husband preparing to retire and her son's employment (he may have a new and better job).  Eventually, lunch had to end, and we scheduled next month's get-together.

After I got home, I rested for a while.  But before I was to leave, my brother called me to ask me for something he would end up doing himself - getting a boilerplate rental contract.  (He thinks of things way too often at the last minute.)  And then, he mentioned that his job may still be at risk.  Sadly, at the age of 62, he has not hit "the number" he needs to retire.  By the end of the call, I was ready NOT to go out for the evening, and I succumbed to resting on the sofa for the rest of the evening.  

Sometimes, giving into temptation can be the wisest thing to do....

 

Today didn't go as planned - and it's just as well.

 

Yesterday, I sent out two pieces of paper by snail mail.  The first was a form my brother needs to have notarized so that we can send it in to the town for a rental permit.  The second was to my best friend from college, trying to find out why his special email account was disconnected.  (Given that he had a stroke a few years ago, I assume the worst - he passed away, and both his email account and his domain (blueroan.com) were shut down.)  Hopefully, my brother will be able to get the first piece of paper taken care of before his vacation, and I will get notice that my friend is alive and well in Florida.

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Today, I planned to get some passport photos taken, fill out the form to register my overseas birth with a foreign registrar.  This would allow me to get my second passport, something I might need if things go "impossibly" wrong here for us transgenders.  Well, I got those photos taken, but I didn't fill out the form, as I wanted to make sure I could get things notarized and a paperwork package in international mail on the same day. Next, I wanted to do some laundry, so that I would have fresh clothes for an upcoming trip.  (This I did later on in the day.)  Then, things went wrong - I knocked over a lamp in my bedroom and glass was scattered on the floor on RQS's side of the bed.  Now, I had to take care of two things: (1) Clean off the carpet as best I could and vacuum the remaining glass fragments out of the carpet; (2) Buy a replacement lamp, so that I have enough light in the room when I'm not sleeping.

If I had gotten everything done as planned, I would have switched into female presentation to close out the day, and consider going to the movies where I'd be entertained for the evening.  Given that I needed to be male presentation for the passport photos and it was in the 90's outside, it wasn't worth switching into Marian's presentation to go shopping.  At least, tomorrow I will be able to get into Marian mode again.

Thoughts about a friend and her husband

 

I had lunch with a friend the other day, and noticed that she may be a little divorced from an objective reality.  A society needs objective rules to function, even if it means that some actions automatically give the wrong person the benefit of the doubt in legal issues.

My friend has been married for over 25 years.  She has been with this man through thick and thin.  One of the trouble spots in their relationship was when he was stopped by a cop and charged with a DWI (Driving While Intoxicated).  This caused him to lose his license for 3 years, and for my friend to drive him to and from work, all while going to work herself.  At that time, she told me that she'd divorce him if he ever was stopped for DWI again.  (Most of their property is in her name alone.)  She wasn't going to judge him - if he was out drinking and needed a ride, she'd pick him up - no questions asked.

Normally, when someone gets his/her license back and that person stays clean, there is no problem.  Things go back to a new normal, and the person has learned from his/her error.  (Or, that's the way things aught to be.)  Yet, there are some lingering consequences to a DWI that most Americans don't bump into until they travel to foreign lands....

Cruising has become my main way of recharging my batteries.  This friend would love to go on an Alaskan cruise with her husband.  But there is one problem - his DWI.  Canada considers a DWI to be a felony, and will not (in general) let Americans even travel through their country if they have a DWI. So, how does this affect my friend and her husband?  As I mentioned to her, her husband would have to apply for an exemption in advance of cruising through Canada,  For most people, this would not be a problem.  They recognize that laws are laws, and each nation has a right to set its own standards for how people are expected to behave and who is admitted to that country or not. . 

Most people consider that DWI and DUI (Driving Under the Influence) standards have to be objectively applied.  If a person drives while over the blood alcohol limit, he/she is considered to cause an accident if one occurs.  (The accident would not have occurred had the DWI driver not been on the road.)  My friend objects to this, as she claims that her husband drives safely - even after a few drinks. 

Unfortunately, my friend will not be able to take the Alaskan cruise that she and her husband would like to go on.  He would refuse to apply for an exemption to be able to travel through Canada.  She supports him, as she believes that the objective standard noted above shouldn't apply to someone like her husband.  Sadly, their pride gets in the way of reality - sometimes, one has to admit that one has been wrong, in order to overcome the penalties of doing wrong.

I can't believe I ate the whole thing....

 

 
I was supposed to meet my friend from the census for lunch today.  However, I screwed things up in confirming our get together, and we had to postpone things for 3 weeks.  There is much I had to talk about, and I guess that will have to wait until we recover from holiday season.  But this didn't stop me from having a nice meal out.  No, No, No!  I ended up having lunch at the Mexican joint down the hill from me, and spent money that I didn't need to spend.

It was not easy for me to get up and ready for dinner with the meetup group.  My bed was comfortable, and I was lying on a heating pad being used to help me deal with some back pain I've had for the past couple of days.  Yet, I made sure to get dressed again, and out the door for a second restaurant meal of the day.

Finding a parking space at the lot in back of the restaurant was impossible. Almost everyone seemed to be having their holiday dinners.  Instead of circling the lot for an hour or so, I went to the new parking garage across the street from the first lot, then walked to the restaurant in the rain.  (Too bad that there was no place to put the umbrella when I got to my table, but I digress....)  Of the 4 people who were there when I arrived, I didn't know anyone.  But soon the people I knew came to the table.  

My stomach must be getting smaller, as I was filled after eating a small bowl of chili with chips.  Yet, I had a light salad afterwards - something I wish I had skipped.  Too bad that the restaurant was crowded, as it took forever to get my food.  I'd have liked someone to bus the table earlier, so I didn't have my dirty plates sitting in front of me.  Luckily, the person next to me wasn't eating, so she didn't mind me spreading out a little.

Being in a loud restaurant with a lot of noise isn't pleasing to me.  So, once I paid my bill, I was out the door and on the way home.  Did I enjoy the day?  Not that much.  But I did enjoy some of the food....

 

PS: If you can't remember where I got the title of this entry, watch this old ad.

 

 

The stockings were hung up with care.... (a quick post)

 

As I write this, it is 2 weeks before Christmas eve.  Hopefully, all of my readers will be with close friends and/or family by the time you read this.

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This weekend, RQS was up in Croton.  Saturday night,we decided to see the movie "Juror #2" as it will soon be out of the theaters and only available on streaming.  I won't give away too much of the film's plot.  But if you are a fan of "12 Angry Men", you may like this film.  If it is Clint Eastwood's last film, he has directed a film that could give him a fitting end to his directorial career.

Sunday was a day I'd have liked to stay in bed.  Instead, we went to the Hudson River Museum, and viewed the first floor or Glenview, its former exhibition space.  As much as I'd like to say that I enjoyed this visit, my back was killing me, as I have a hard time standing in one place for a long period of time.  Yet, I can say that Glenview is a worthwhile place to visit, and I recommend visiting when you are in Yonkers.

I finally figured out what I can get RQS for Christmas.  Although I already have 2 gifts for her, she deserves something else.  Right now, I won't post it here, so that it remains a surprise.  But I can say that it will prevent her from having to visit a friend that she doedn't want to visit during the winter.

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The good thing about the weekend is that I was able to be out and about as Marian.  All too soon, I would have to spend time as Mario - and will feel very uncomfortable for those two days.  At least, tonight, I'll have a chance to speak with my friends in Texas....

Lunch with RQS's friend.

RQS and I haven't been to this restaurant in a while.  And it's always a treat going here.  This time, we went with RQS's friend, spending the better part of the afternoon with her.

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The day began with neither of us wanting to get out of bed.  It was cold the night before, and we were comfy under the covers when we woke up.  Our friend would be coming around 12:30 pm - 1 pm, and we didn't want to make her wait for us.  So both of rushed to get showered and dressed, and we were ready just as the friend got to RQS's door.

Our friend, let's call her J for now, arrived and we proceeded to chat for a few minutes before summoning an Uber.  One catch - the Uber arrived in less than a minute after summoning.  So RQS ended locking her door as J was getting into the car.  15 minutes later, we were at Zum Stammtisch and ready to feast.  However, we had to wait another 10 minutes for a table to be cleared for us before sitting down.

Once seated, we took our time to order, and then the food arrived.  I enjoyed some herring in cream before my jagerschnitzel arrived.  After lunch, we ordered dessert, and I had some warm strudel topped with ice cream.  No one rushed us, and we had time for a leisurely lunch and post meal discussion.  We then returned to RQS's apartment until J's friend came to pick her up.

What I didn't mention so far is that J is visually impaired, and that she uses Ubers to get around instead of Access-a-Ride (AAR).  I can't blame her, as AAR isn't that reliable.  (This is a well known issue among the visually impaired community.)  None of us wanted to take buses on a cold and blustery day, so we used Ubers to get to the restaurant.  On the whole, it was a very nice day, and I hope that the 3 of us can get together again soon. (And I hope we'll be able to tell J about my alter ego as well.)

We made a decision (a short post)

 

I can't go into details yet, but we have decided to replace one of my co-op's important vendors. In my opinion, they did a crappy job, and I'm glad that we started the process of switching vendors.

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For some reason, I woke up at 7 am, 3 hours earlier than planned.  So I was worried that I'd be sleepy by the time I met my friend for lunch.  Of course, I needn't have worried.  At 10 or so, I got showered, made up and dressed, to make it to lunch at 11:30.  One problem - the restaurant didn't open until noon.  My friend met me at the restaurant, and we ended up driving into town to go to another restaurant that we knew was open.

We sat down for lunch at the local Italian joint, where I ordered a sandwich and she ordered a slice.  And then we caught up on each others' lives. I mentioned both my Philadelphia trip and my Bermuda cruise, and she talked about her son away at college.  I was a more relaxed conversation than usual in spite of the noise that made it hard to hear each other.

All too soon, lunch had to end.  We set a date for next month, and she was off to pick her younger son off at school.  So, I dropped off my early voting ballot off at the post office, then went home to rest.

- - - - - -

The co-op board meeting started at 7, and lasted 90 minutes.  We reviewed recent developments and then cast our votes.  We decided to replace the vendor.  Not much took place after that, save to review what would be covered at our upcoming meetings and when they would be scheduled.   I will say more about things as they become public knowledge.  Until then, watch this space....

Lunch with a friend, then a shopping trip in the rain.

 

Today's lunch table looked nothing like the one above.  Instead, today's meal was at the Mexican restaurant down the hill from me, lunching with a friend from the Census.

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Given how cloudy the skies looked when I got up, I wasn't enthusiastic about getting dressed and out in the world as Marian today.  What made things worse, is when I started to use my electric razor, one of the rotating blades wasn't being held in place.  Unfortunately, I couldn't fix this problem and had to place a rush order with Amazon for a replacement.  In spite of this, I was able to get myself made up and out the door in time for lunch.

It was nice to meet my friend again for our monthly lunch, and we caught up on what was going on in each other's lives.  All too soon, lunch was over and we parted until next month.  After we parted, I went to Kohl's to drop off a broken silicone vegetable steamer I'm returning to Amazon.  One of the 3 legs were broken, and another didn't have a silicone sheath over a plastic leg.  Luckily, I don't have to cook in my non-stick pots and pans for a while.  Then after that, It was off to Poughkeepsie to do some shopping at Target and Lane Bryant.

A little while back, I bought some sexy lingerie to wear at home.  And when I saw the robe in the above picture, I felt it might be the perfect compliment to some lingerie I bought 2-3 weeks ago.  (Sometimes, a T-girl wants to wear pretty things, even if her body doesn't do these garments justice.)  Unfortunately, I didn't see this garment in Lane Bryant, although the site said it could be found in the store.  (I guess I'll have to mail order it soon.)  Once done with Lane Bryant, it was off to Target to see if I could find a really cheap electric razor - which none were in my price range.  So I guess that I'll have to make do until the replacement shaving head comes in a day or two.

Now, it was time to go home.  Before I started off, I found that we might yet have another weather related delay in scheduled driveway/parking lot work - I'm glad I can use my brother as a fall back. In addition, I finally got a response from my sleep doctor - he says that he hasn't received the results of my sleep test.  AARGH!  This is hard to believe.  But I'll have to accept this for now, and will complain if I don't have more information when I get back from Bermuda.

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While writing this entry, NYC's Mayor has just been indicted by the Feds.  It'll be interesting to see what happens in local politics, as NYC only votes Republican when the Democrats have gone too far - and this is too far for most of us....

Lunch with a friend, then both laundry and packing for my cruise.

 

This would be the second to last day I'd be spending at home before the weekend.  And I should have made every minute count.  Instead, I had a long lunch and killed time before doing laundry and packing for my trip.

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Today would likely be the last day I'd be able to spend as Marian for a while.  I'd be out as Mario over the weekend.  And when I return, I'll be unwilling to risk wallet swapping to spend one last day out as Marian.  This will help me be sure to have all my ID in the wallet that is coming on the trip with me.

Around lunch time, I mat my friend from the census, and we had a much longer than usual lunch together.We had a very lighthearted chat, and I made a joke about my bi-gendered nature in regard to a different packing list from that above.  Yesterday, Microsoft's AI generated a packing list for my cruise - but for a female.  This list contained dresses for formal nights, and I noted that it would be inappropriate for most males, but for me.... 😀    We talked about our upcoming trips, me to Norway, and her trip to Vegas.  It seems like all of my friends are going away for a while, and it will be hard to catch up with them during the summer.

After lunch, I proceeded to the bookstore to see if they had Erik Larson's latest book in stock.  Although they did, I wasn't in the mood to spend $35 on a book that I'd only read once.  Instead, I'll put another hold on the book, and wait until I can again get it to read.  Next, I browsed in Home Goods, seeing nothing of interest.  (I miss the old Bed, Bath and Beyond!)  Then, it was time to come home and rest.

Once at home, it was time for this T-Gal to do some laundry.  Not much need to be said about this task, save that I wanted to make sure that I had a pair of jeans to wear on this trip.....




PS: It's already 1:30 am, and I still have more packing to do.  This will have to wait until the morning for me to finish off the big bag that goes down to RQS's place this weekend.

No Water Today!

 

When I came home last night, I didn't see a post on the apartment doorway's bulletin board.  And this screwed up my day today.

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While I was on the way home last night,  a friend invited me for dinner at a local Mexican joint.  Since I had already scheduled lunch with SJM and didn't want to have two big meals in one day, I scheduled dinner for the end of the month. When I arrived home, I saw a paper left in front of my door that said that the water was being shut off for emergency work on the water main.  Assuming the work was already done, I crumpled it up and figured that I'd be able to take a shower the following morning.and see SJM for lunch.  That was a big mistake....

Morning came, and I turned on the faucet to take my shower.  But there was no water!  So, I called the super, and he said that the work had to be postponed until today.  AARGH!!!  I wasn't going to go out without a shower, so I texted SJM and rescheduled things.  Unfortunately, I had no way of rescheduling things with my other friend, so I had nothing to do this evening.

Around 6 pm, I decided to get up and do a little retail therapy at Walmart.  Arriving at the checkout counter, the cashier gave me a hearty compliment regarding how I looked. That brought a smile to my face.  Although I didn't need that much from the store, I ended up spending more than I expected.  And I could say the same for the following visit to Trader Joe's.  

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One thing of note: I think the piercing in my right earlobe has closed up.  Given when I'll be taking my next cruise, I'll wait until after my return to have the piercer look at it.....

California Vacation - Day 09 (Ensenada, Mexico)

 

This is as close as I got to setting foot on Mexican soil.  Last year, RQS and I reached this Port in better weather, and we decided to stay on board.  This year, I have been cruising as Marian, and I didn't want to risk the hassles of getting off the ship in a foreign land as Marian.

I didn't see my new friend this morning, and it's just as well.  This was a day where I wanted to prepare for my return trip home.  Unlike my flight to LA, I have to make sure that everything I pack in my large suitcase is not needed until I reach New York, as it must be in front of my stateroom door by 8 pm.

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Most of the day, I stayed to myself.  Looking at what I did onboard, I didn't take advantage of more than half the "freebies" included in my fare package.  Yet, I feel I got my money's worth.  Did I need the specialty desserts?  No.  Did I go to any of the casual restaurants for lunch?  Only one - the pizza joint.  And I certainly didn't take advantage of the exercise classes.  But, when I factor in the fact that virtually everything was paid for up front, the only expenses I incurred were off-ship dining and transportation.  That's not bad.

As I write this, I have yet to pick up the three 8"x10" pictures taken of me on this ship.  I will post a few in this blog over time. But my main focus over the next few hours will be packing my large suitcase and spending the remainder of my non-refundable credits before they expire.  So I doubt I'll have more to say before I leave for New York.

It's been a good trip.  But I wish I could have visited my uncle.  There's no way I can say, "better luck next year", as he is no longer with us.  So I'll sign off for now, and provide a recap with tomorrow's entry.

California Vacation - Day 08 (San Diego)

 

San Diego.  It was nice NOT having to entertain my new friend for a change.  She found someone else to keep her company, and I can have free time for myself for the last day of the cruise.

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But let me start at the beginning....

Again, I didn't get a good sleep, and woke up much earlier than needed.  It was just as well, as I had a schedule for the day: Have Breakfast in the buffet, then get off the ship and see RQS's cousin.  Since I didn't make arrangements to see my new friend, I enjoyed breakfast without having to talk with anyone. And then, all I had to do was wait for RQS's cousin (I'll call her "C" for now) to arrive at the pier.

Around 11 am, C arrived, and I met her in a female presentation for the first time.  There was no strange reaction, and C made the effort to call me Marian for the entire time we spent together.  We weren't sure of what we were going to do at first.  Did we want to go to the Zoo?  Or, did we just want to hang out and chat?  Chatting won out.  

C drove me through downtown San Diego to show me around, then she drove to Harbor Island where we sat on a park bench for 90 minutes before going to a local restaurant which overlooked the water.  Lunch was my treat - I was glad to show her that I appreciated her company.  And she was glad that RQS and I found each other. All too soon, C had to go home.  She didn't want to drive in rush hour traffic, and I wanted to get back to the ship.  So, C dropped me off and I did my thing onboard the ship.

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Once back onboard the ship, I took a break before going to dinner.  I had reservations for a shared table, and was willing to wait until other people showed up. While waiting, I saw one of the people I dined with last night. and said hello just before they finished their after dinner coffee.  It was nice to see him, and even nicer to see his wife.  Too bad she couldn't have been with us at our table - we had a great crowd.

A few minutes later, a lovely couple from the North of England joined me.  We enjoyed chatting about shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.  Needless to say, I wished we could have chatted longer in a more quiet place.  Then, it was time to go back to my room for the evening.

California Vacation - Day 07 (Catalina Island)

 

Today's Port stop was Catalina Island (Avalon).  This is a place where I'd like to visit again, stay a couple of days, and chill for a while.  But I won't get this chance on any cruise anytime soon.

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I had arranged to meet my new friend around 9:30 am in the buffet for breakfast.  And again, we kept talking until it was past lunch time.  Well, I found an excuse around 1:00 pm to go to the tender boats and take a ride to Avalon.  

Avalon is the main town on Catalina Island.  The tourist section is picturesque, and a great place to chill for a few hours.  The area near the dock is filled with tourist based shops and restaurants, yet it felt like a place where people actually lived - several people were walking with their dogs in the area near the dock.

One of the stores I went into was a former bank building.  The current tenant has turned the former vault into a place where local artisans' work is displayed.  Further down the stretch is a ice cream and candy store, where I bought some candy for RQS and some ice cream for myself.  Once done with the ice cream, I called RQS for a while and caught up on things.  And then, it was back to the ship before dinner.

Changing into a fresh dress, I went downstairs for dinner - finally at a shared table in the main dining room.  There was a motivational speaker from New Zealand at the table, a couple from Las Vegas, and some other people who I didn't get the chance to talk to that much.  Most of my conversations were with the woman next to me (from Las Vegas), her husband, a male nurse across from me, and the motivational speaker.  Somehow, I seemed to click with everyone at the table, as my idea of skills every child should learn (Baseball, Poker and Chess) was taken well.  And the motivational speaker found what I had to say about America's political divisions (as well as the rest of the world) and the failures of democracies to deliver value to all citizens to be very interesting.  (I can't reconstruct that conversation in any detail anymore.)  Although we were all seated by 6:30 pm, we didn't get our main courses until 8:00 pm.  None of us were happy about this.  But it did allow for the many great conversational threads we were sharing while we waited.

Once done with dinner, I walked over to the "Inch of Gold" stand and bought 2 x 23" necklace chains (from which I plan to attach pendants), getting 2 "free" bracelet chains as part of the deal.  This took longer than expected, as I missed the opening numbers of Tommy McPhee in the ship's theater.  This Scottish singer did numbers from Neil Sedaka, Elton John, Barry Manilow and others.  He has a good voice.  But it is easy to see how he'd be performing on cruise ships with small audiences instead of areas with large audiences - he didn't have charisma, nor did he have any material of his own.  In short, I'd sit in the audience if he performed on a cruise ship I was on, but I wouldn't pay to see him live.

Leaving the theater, I checked when the chains would be ready (the last night of the cruise), and had a drink before going to bed....

California Vacation - Day 06 (Sea Day)

 

Last night, I fell asleep between 2:00 am and 3:00 am and woke up this morning around 7:30 am.  Of course, looking back at things, I didn't feel thoroughly rested.  But I made sure to get up and get dressed to connect with my new friend for breakfast at the buffet around 9:30 am.  As has become usual on this ship, we hung out together from breakfast through lunch.  And then, we met again for afternoon tea, only to schedule dinner together with her friends. Now, it's nice to have someone to chat with, but it's always nice to have time alone. I just didn't make enough of this time today.  But I will do so tomorrow, when we reach Catalina island.

But I have gotten out of sequence.  So I'll go back a step or so....

We rushed through our breakfast, as there was a cooking demonstration being given in the main theater.  It was scripted well, with one chef playing a true professional, and the other being a clown who would screw up the recipes by adding too much of certain important ingredients such as Garlic, Worcestershire Sauce, Brandy and Vodka.  It was a funny show, followed by a quick tour of the galley. Next, we were off to lunch in one of the main dining rooms, where we shared a table with other cruisers.  By the time this meal came around, I really wasn't hungry.  I simply ate to be social.

Once lunch was over, we took a breather, as afternoon tea was coming up for the last time on the cruise.  This time, I couldn't find my friend, so I sat at a shared table with other cruisers.  This was an interesting group, as I was the only Easterner, and we shared our thoughts about the "Grab and Go" thefts going on in California, and the lack of an adequate response by law enforcement.  No wonder why at least one Latin American nation elected a dictator to clean up the mess left by a bumbling democracy - and he is well liked for making it safe again to go out of the house.  Once this table broke up, I found my friend and some of her friends at a nearby table, and sat down with them for a while before going back to my cabin to change for the last gala night of the cruise.

Once I got some pictures taken, I went to dinner with my new friend, and then helped two people at the table to celebrate their birthdays.  This was steak and lobster night, and I ordered (and paid for) an extra portion, so that I could have an extra piece of lobster with my meal.  Dinner went by quickly, and I exited so that I could go back to my room for a while before going to the main theater to see Elliot Hunter perform his illusions.  As much as I do not look to see magicians, I can be entertained by them now and then.

All too soon, it was time to go to bed.  Although I have plans to see my friend for breakfast, I will be heading out to Catalina island to spend the day....

Lunch with a friend was the high point of the day

 

I had three things on the docket today, and I blew one off because it looked like we'd have heavy rain in the evening. Luckily, the most important thing, lunch with my friend from the census was on, and we had a great time.

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Although I had my alarms set for 10 am, I didn't get moving until 11 am.  This meant that I only had an hour to get ready for lunch. Since this was going to be a day out as Marian, I made sure to shave all over before getting dressed and made up to go out for lunch.  I may have stood out a little by wearing a sweater dress instead of jeans, but I prefer the feel of a dress over that of trouser like garments.

Arriving at 12:30 pm, I was at the restaurant first for a change.  My friend arrived a couple of minutes later, and I proceeded to chat about my car purchase saga.  Then, I had fun telling her about the man from another meetup group who wanted to help this old lady. She had her own stories to tell as well, such as her upcoming trip out west.  Hopefully, the family will have a great time on this birthday trip.

All too soon, we had to leave.  And my next stop for the day was Trader Joe's, where I hoped to pick up a small tote bag for RQS.  Unfortunately, I could only find the bag in the next size up.  So, I guess that's a keeper for me, and that I'll keep looking for one for her.  Luckily, a visit to TJ's rarely makes a big dent in my wallet.  So I didn't mind going out of the way on a rainy day.

Eventually, I got home.  But I wasn't in the mood to go out.  So I posted a quick message in the meetup forum, and then focused on attending an Arts Westchester Zoom meeting.  I figure that I'll ramp up activities with this organization, as it will give me things to do when I'm up in Westchester....

Meeting RQS's Friend

 

Yes, is a picture taken of me over a decade ago.  But I don't want to show a picture of RQS or her friend in this blog.

We had arranged to meet in NYC several weeks ago, and it was nice to be back in Marian mode again. RQS and I got ready to take the train into NYC, and I noticed that one of my dresses had a rip at one seam.  Since I couldn't wear that dress, I had to substitute a sweater dress in its stead - and that was a good thing, considering the cold weather outside.

Arriving at Grand Central an hour ahead of our expected time, we killed some of it in the waiting room over a cup of coffee.  And then it was off to lunch.  When we arrived at our destination, I noted that it couldn't be the Chick-fil-A on the corner, as corporate management is anti-LGBT.  Luckily, we were meeting at the French themed shop next door. And that's where a complication arose - there were no seats, and RQS had already paid for lunch.  So we ended up walking a block to another place, and again - no seats.  Both places had turned into de-facto office spaces, with people both eating and working at the tables.  Again, we picked up and left - for the Wendy's next door.

Time flowed way too quickly.  Her friend greeted me as Marian, and we hit it off instantly. If I didn't have to be back in Croton by 6 to get my car out of the parking lot, we would have stayed longer.  But it was a good excuse to take my leave.  Surprisingly, I made it home by 5:15, as I caught a non-stop express to Croton and beyond. 

Thinking about a friend - a short post

 

I have a friend whose life has been quite a disaster.  The other day, he came to me asking for advice as he had hit a low in his life.  The question I had was: Do I tell him the unvarnished truth and risk the friendship?  Or, do I try to soften things up, and help him continue along the erroneous path he's been taking in his life?  I decided to risk the friendship and go for broke.

It took me a while to compose a reply to this friend's request for help.  And I let him have my opinion, as if it were a gun shooting its load from both barrels.  Surprisingly, he took things well.  Whether or not he really thinks hard about what I said is something I can't determine.  But I now know he took it in the spirit in which it was said, as he trusts my opinion and my ability to see things clearly.

- - - - - -

Why do I mention this?

One of the things I mentioned in a follow up message was that both he and his partner need to go to couples therapy.  If 50% of marriages break up because of money, a good deal of the other 50% break up because of bad communications skills.  His partner has supported him through thick and thin, throughout a period of life where his health deserted him.  Without this woman in his life, he would likely be homeless - and he knows it.

A skill that I learned from my former therapist was to identify underlying emotions before they erupt as anger.  With my friend, he still needs to learn a similar skill - how to hold back from casting his die before he understands the consequences of that cast.  (See: Alea iacta est.)  Sadly, he didn't trust his partner to do the communications for him during one hospital visit, and it caused him a lot of grief afterwards.  Even now, he still has a problem judging the potential consequences of his actions.

Hopefully, my most recent communications with this friend will trigger him to get some help.  Yet, I can't help but think: There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Wishes

I wish I could look in the mirror and see this face, knowing that the body connected to is would be fully in sync with the image.  Alas, this was not meant to be.  My face, like the rest of my body, shows the wear and tear of living a different life.  But I am not complaining about that, nor am I pining for something that can not be.  Life is a path, that for most of us has its obstacles and challenges, but can have its rewards for making it through without losing your mind or your humanity.

Lately, I get up in the morning and find that I have nothing urgent to take care of.  Life wasn't this way when I had a job to go to.  Just the fact that I had a job that had to get done gave meaning to life - even when I worked at that mind numbing job with the imaging company.  Now, having people to see and trips to take gives me a reason to get up in the morning. 

The other day, I saw BXM for lunch before she had to go to work.  (She has a flexible schedule.)  And she was the happiest that I ever saw her.  When I first met her, she was taking care of a father whose mind and body were gradually leaving him.  Now, she's being energized by helping children get their lives together, as well as having a good home life with her partner.

Not everyone is doing well.  I just had a letter from an old friend, and he told me that his wife had to go through a double mastectomy.  Although she's "triple negative" and going through the 5 years needed to be labeled as "Cured", it must have been hell for her.  This is where I wish my late wife had survived, so that she could console this friend's wife in her time of need.

Another person I know doesn't know enough about how to escape her dead-end "career".  Although she has been told about paths she could take to exit the dead-end, she hasn't done so.  Over time, many of these doors will be closed to her, and she may end up regretting taking the chances she needs to take to escape from a life that is doomed to both keep her poor and without a decent person to accompany her along the path of life.

For all of my friends, I wish that their lives will improve each day, and that they will be able to grasp success from the claws of failure.  As for me, I don't ask for much, as I already have most of what I want and all of what I need....

????????

I didn't know what to write about when I started this entry.  Do I write about what went on in my life this weekend?  Do I write some commentary about what is going on in the world? Or, do I choose a topic at random and pontificate on it?  After a full day of thought, I had few ideas, so here goes....

1. I recently received a call from an old friend.  Although we both had said that if we reached the age of 60 without a partner, that we'd consider having a relationship.  As readers of this blog know, I am very happy with RQS as a partner, as we are alike in so many ways.  And I consider myself lucky that we didn't get together, as she is a train wreck of a person.

This friend knows I am transgender, and talked about a conspiracy to take children who question their sexual identity and treat them as either trans or gay/lesbian.  Although there may be some people who have this as an agenda, most trans people (and most schools) would never consider doing this.  At most, we'd want to have the child see a qualified psychotherapist for evaluation before anything else is done.

Our conversation morphed into talking about "Welfare Cheats", as if there was a moral problem with most of the people collecting social benefits.  She then started to think with her feelings and not her mind when she said that we should put unskilled people to work babysitting working folks' kids.  I countered with a single question: Would she want someone who us unvetted, unskilled, and otherwise unsuited to babysit children to be responsible for her child's welfare in any way?  The last thing I'd want to see is a person prone to violence in charge of my child.  Yes, people who have this philosophy will often backtrack and make exceptions for the flaws in their plans.  But in the end, they do not have well thought out positions.

2. RQS and I were looking for a place to have a fancy dinner on Christmas day.  It's amazing how few fine dining places are open on Christmas vs. Thanksgiving.  So I joked with my friend Vicki that RQS and I will become honorary Jews for Xmas and eat Chinese!  Vicki chuckled.....   She knew why Jews tend to go to Chinese places on Xmas - "Safe Treyf!"  (i.e. Non kosher food that is tasty, that doesn't look like the forbidden food it is.)

3. This morning, I received a call from UPS to ask me about a claim I filed regarding an item they claimed was delivered, but did not show up at my door until the following day.  As I was getting home (and prepared to make a return phone call to UPS), I met the UPS delivery guy in the hallway.  We chatted for a minute, and I explained what happened.  He confirmed my suspicion that UPS often uses USPS for last mile service (claiming the item has been delivered to my door when it wasn't) and that holiday season extra hires often do not know the routes and deliver goods to the wrong addresses. I was willing to confirm what happened on paper, and he said that I did the right thing.

4. I'm still trying to think of what to get RQS for a surprise Xmas gift.  She already knows the "big" item she is getting.  But I want to surprise her with something else.  (Any ideas?)

5. Now that my ears are pierced, I'm finding that I want to buy coordinated sets of earrings and necklaces w. pendant.  However, I'm finding that I end up doubling much of the expense, as I need to buy a longer chain for the pendant, so that it hits at the right place on my neck.

6. Every time I think of my upcoming cruise, I find that I missed something I should be packing. Today, I figured that I should pack a swimsuit, as I'll be in the Bahamas, and might want to take a dip in the hot tub. Will I end up doing this?  I'm not sure, as I don't want to wear my new falsies into the hot tub.  But I don't want to bring my older, ill fitting pool-safe falsies to stuff in my swimsuit's cups.

I could go on and on with my thoughts.  But I figure that my readers might be interested in the random thoughts going through my head these days.

 

 

If you knew sushi, like I know sushi....

There is an old song that goes:

"If you knew Suzie,
 Like I know Suzie,
 Oh, Oh, Oh, What a gal..."

I rework that in my head, replacing "Suzie" with "Sushi", whenever I go out for sushi.  Today was one of those days I did just that.

- - - - - -

But first....

As has been happening lately, I didn't go to sleep when I wanted last night.  Knowing that I'd have a hard time waking up in time for lunch, I set multiple alarms on multiple devices to ensure that I'd be able to get ready and meet my friend with minimal delays. After showering, shaving, and making up my face, I decided to put my earrings in.  With q tolerable "struggle", I was able to do so without much effort.  This is important, as I don't want to go back to the piercing shop a third time.

At noon, I drove into Croton to meet my friend from the census.  We try to meet at least once each month to catch up on things, and today, we met at a sushi joint in town. The conversation flowed like water.  All too soon, it was time to go home - and none too soon, as I had GI Tract issues.  When done, I drove to Target to buy a bathroom / shower shelf, so that all my bath needs could be in an easy to reach place.

And then, it was time to go home.  I got on Route 133, and less than a mile from the Saw Mill River parkway was the site of a multi car accident blocking the road.  Instead of waiting for things to clear up, I drove back to the Saw Mill parkway, taking a wide detour to get home.  Given that it is raining as I write this, I'm going to close out this entry because I doubt anything more of consideration will happen tonight.