Going out to eat

 

Last week, RQS came up for a mid-week visit, as she had a weekend memorial that she had to attend. Because of this, she came up on Tuesday to spend the middle of the week with me.

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Like most couples, RQS and I have several go-to restaurants near each others' residences.  The reasons a restaurant becomes a "go-to" place vary.  For example, the diner in Croton is my go-to place when I'm presenting as Mario.  The food is good, servings are plentiful, the staff is friendly, and the experience is predictable.  It's not a great place to eat, but it is not a bad place to eat. It's simply a pleasant experience each time we go there.  And I've eaten there often enough as Mario, that I avoid eating there as Marian.

The go-to places I have when presenting as Mario are different than those I have when presenting as Marian.  For example, I will go to one Italian restaurant in Croton over most of the others in town, as they have only seen me in Marian mode.  This makes it much easier for me, as I don't have to worry as much as being misgendered. 

And then, there are the places I can go to in either presentation.  I do not visit these places often enough to be a fixture there, and I am likely to be seen as a very occasional visitor.  One of those places is the Eveready Diner in Brewster.  Given the distance from Croton, NY to Brewster, NY, we are not likely to visit there often enough to become a fixture there.  So, I feel safe visiting in either gender presentation.

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As you can guess, I am a low key foodie who can enjoy both haute cuisine and junk food.  For the most part, I find good places to eat almost anywhere.  But I have also found some bad places as well.  Those bad places are few and far between, and are often found in acts of desperation.  For example, RQS and I visited Bar Harbor, ME on a cruise after tourist season ended and couldn't find a good place to eat because my go-to places were already closed for the winter.  Unfortunately, we ended up stumbling into a place with bad service, mediocre food, and forgettable atmosphere.  That's one place we will never again visit.

Yet, we stumble into more good places than bad ones.  On the same cruise where we visited Bar Harbor, we also visited Portland, ME and found a great seafood joint off the beaten path.  The restaurant was associated with another business which processes seafood destined for other other restaurants.  Yum!  Needless to say, we will visit this place again the next time we are in Portland.

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In the past, I'd try to go to as many meetups as possible, so that I could eat out with other people.  Now that RQS is in my life, it is just as well that I do not go to many meetups anymore. Dining out has gotten way too expensive these days. I still recoil a little when I see post-pandemic restaurant prices. So, I've become extra careful to patronize my go-to places as often as I can, as I want them to stay in business.

Dinner with Vicki

 

Today's entry is a short one, as I don't have much time to write....

Now that I work 5 days per week, I don't have much time to get things done.  So, I have to take care of my errands at night and on weekends the way the majority of people do in this world.  It is a shock to me, as I haven't had to live according to a "normal" schedule for years. Yet, I plan to adjust to my new normal for a while to earn a few dollars and bulk up my bank account.

When the day began, I took it easy for a while.  I sent a message to Vicki and suggested getting together. And she had the time to do so - today.  Since I didn't expect that she'd be available until later in the week, I adjusted my plans for the day and scheduled dinner at a Mexican joint that I've gone to several times before.

I took care of little things such as laundry during the day, and finally got around to changing the sheets on my bed.  (Don't ask how long they've been on the bed.  Often, there is a pile of stuff on the side of the bed where a partner used to lay, and it gets in the way of me changing the sheets.)  And then, I changed into Marian mode for dinner.

Dinner with Vicki was nice.  But it was more expensive than expected.  It seems as if we're seeing inflation hit the restaurants that are surviving the pandemic.  In suburbia, limiting restaurants to 50% capacity has forced these establishments to raise prices subtly to help them cover their costs.  In today's case, a dinner which we expected could cost us $40-$50 each cost us $70 each.  Assuming that this is part of a trend, I expect that we will see fewer people being able to afford to dine out at the end of the pandemic, as the fewer surviving restaurants will be able to charge higher prices to the fewer people who are able to pay those prices to eat out.

Another trip to the supermarket with FH and her daughter

 

The store in the Brooklyn Navy Yard was the first Wegmans to open in New York City.  It's been around for a while, and it is easier to reach than I first envisioned.  So, when FH asked me to take her and her daughter on a shopping run today, I didn't mind doing so.

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FH's daughter is a pretty young woman, and has a long happy life ahead of her if she can conquer the demons in her life.  No, I won't go into the details here, but she has many of the problems often exhibited by a woman her age. My impression of her mom asking me to include the daughter on our shopping trip was that of a mother trying to keep her daughter occupied in a time of stress.

When I arrived in Forest Hills, FH asked me if we could stop by a doughnut shop so that her daughter could eat and drink something, so that her stomach wouldn't fight a uncivil war.  Throughout the trip to Brooklyn, the daughter was complaining of how ill she felt. And it seemed as if she would rather have been left at home to deal with her problems by herself, instead of accompanying her mother on this shopping trip.

Arriving at Wegmans, I let them off at the front door while I hunted down a hard to get parking space. Entering the store, I looked around and found the daughter on a motorized shopping cart for handicapped people.  She was tooling around on the shopping cart, while her mom was trying to select food for the week.  Surprisingly, FH's daughter seemed to calm down after a few minutes in the store, as the cart distracted her enough from her sick stomach to make this shopping trip almost a pleasure.  $230 later, we exited the store and headed home.  While on local streets, the daughter got sick, and we had to wait for her to be ready for the rest of the trip home.

Eventually, we made it back to Forest Hills.  We were lucky to find a parking spot across the street from her apartment building.  This made it possible for me to join mom and daughter in carrying the afternoon's purchases to the apartment and loading them into the refrigerator. Both FH and her daughter had unsettled stomachs for different reasons, and we hung out at the apartment until FH was ready to go out to eat.

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Dining out in the age of Covid-19 raises many questions.  One of which is: How many people in a restaurant are "too many" people?  There is a legal definition of "too many."  In NYC, a restaurant is limited to 25% of pre-Covid capacity until 2/28/21.  In the suburbs, it is 50% of pre-Covid capacity.  The restaurant I chose was less than 100 feet from the Nassau county line, and was subject to NYC capacity limits.  This, I thought, would keep occupancy low enough for FH to feel comfortable dining at the restaurant.  At first, she was comfortable.  But, people started coming in, and she was ready to leave the place.  As for me, I have not yet had my first vaccination shot, and I'm the person at greater risk.  Yet, she was the person who was uncomfortable as the place approached 25% capacity.

Once I was done with my dinner, we took a drive to Hicksville, and then I dropped her off at her apartment.  This was a night that I didn't go back upstairs - she was getting tired after a long day.  And I was just as happy to drop her off at her front door, since I was getting a little tired myself after a long week of work.

Another time that dinner was the best part of my day.

 

When I got up this morning, I found that a text message never made it to JM, and she was no longer interested in me.  This is not as bad as it sounds, as we were not in each other's social class. As Vicki said to me later in the day, her former career might have taught her skills that prevented her from developing good relationships with men.  (I won't go into this any further in this blog.) If someone wanted to drop me because of a minor screw up, then I know she would run away if she ever were to find out about Marian.

Since I didn't get enough sleep the night before, I went back to sleep and finally arose for the day around noon. For the most part, I took it easy all day until I met with Vicki around 6.  Now that Covid-19 infection rates are going up, I'm starting to get concerned about doing things such as eating indoors at a restaurant. But Vicki and I will continue to eat out, at least until Gov. Cuomo says that the infection rates in the Mid Hudson region are too high to allow indoor dining.

Vicki and I met in a restaurant near Mohegan Lake. She had bought a $100 gift coupon for $50, and wanted to go out to this steak house.  Yum!  I haven't had Prime Rib in ages.  So I went to the cash machine, picked up my weekly supply of cash, and made it to the restaurant on time.  It took a few minutes to be seated.  But I always feel good when someone addresses me as a lady.  This was an evening to feast, and we split a raw bar sampler for 1 (more than enough for 2 to share), and then had soup with our prime ribs to follow. Both of us had leftovers that we took home with us.  However, Vicki noted one thing in our conversation that I never noticed before - I now have enough volume and pitch fluidity in my voice to sound much more like a cisgender female than I did 2 years ago.  Now, my voice isn't much of a giveaway anymore.  That's a great compliment!  Those lessons at Mercy helped, as well as my 10 months at the Census bureau.

As my readers might guess, the day started off on a down note, and ended on an up note. For this, I am grateful.....