A visit to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

 

Although FH and I will never be romantic partners, we still get together now and then to be activity partners.  There is enough about her that I like to enjoy an occasional day trip somewhere, but not enough that I'd want to have her as a partner for either 30 minutes or the other 23 hours and 30 minutes of the day. Today was one of those days that we ended up going to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden (BBG).

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If I were going to BBG on my own, I'd have taken the train into NYC, then caught either of the #4 or #5 trains to BBG.  Instead, I had to pick FH up, as she never takes the subway these days.  (She was surprised that I now ride the subways, 2 years since everything shut down for the pandemic.)  Driving between Forest Hills and the heart of Brooklyn takes forever, as none of the roads go from here to there without major traffic jams.  For a 9 mile trip as the crow flies, Google Maps said it would take 45 minutes - an average of 12 mph!  No wonder why I hate driving within NYC limits....

We got to BBG around 2 pm, and proceeded to walk around the garden.  FH, as usual, wanted a photographic record of her presence at the place, asking me to take pictures of her at several places along the paths.  I don't mind doing this, but it gets tiresome after a while.  

The thing that I dislike about FH the most is her self centered/ethno-centeric attitude about life in general.  For example, I am disgusted that the Nazis killed 11 people during the Holocaust. To me, murder is murder, no matter what the justifications are for doing so. She focuses on the 6 million Jews, and effectively says that they are more important than the other 5 million because she's Jewish.  FH also focuses on my ethnic background, and not how I identify myself.  This would bother me to no end if I were in a relationship with her.  Yet, I can tolerate it in small doses as a friend.  

Sadly, FH is not able to see things from others' point of view.  When we took a break to sit down and have a soda, our conversation meandered to the Coney Island Sideshow.  Her thoughts on the issue are that people with birth defects should never put themselves on public display to get by in life, such as the performers in sideshows.  She would put them on the dole and keep them out of sight.  I have nothing against those who would accept public assistance, but I respect the likes of those who would earn a living by showing off how they adapted to a world built for people unlike them.  She couldn't understand why people would put themselves in the public eye. as if they were embarrassing themselves.  As I noted that people such as Johnny Eck didn't feel this way, the lady at the next table mentioned a string of people who made their living this way, as if she was disgusted with FH's attitude.  I guess that more people have my attitude towards these people than FH's attitude.

Around 4 pm, we left BBG and took the long way to Howard Beach to have dinner.  Given that I remembered that there used to be quite a few restaurants along this stretch of road, we headed South. Somewhere on the left, I saw a restaurant on the left that looked like there might be a line at 5 pm.  FH nixed it because she didn't want to risk waiting on line. (I remember Lenny's advertisements from 40 years ago.  So the place had to be decent to survive this long.  And, at 5 pm, any line would be short.  But I digress.)  We found an Italian joint somewhere just before Cross Bay Boulevard reached the toll bridge, and pulled in for dinner.  To me, the food tasted good, save for the tomato sauce which may have simmered too long.  FH, however, thought it was less than good.  So it will be another of those places we never go to again.

On the way home, FH asked me to be her +1 for a wedding she was attending next month.  I wasn't going to answer yes right away, as I wanted to make sure that I didn't have any conflicts with RQS.  (I'll always put my relationship with RQS first, over that of my female friends.)  Hopefully, I'll be able to go - even if it means I spend another day as Mario....

 

 

PS: After thinking about it, I was glad to turn down FH's "plus 1" request.  I would know only her, and I would be uncomfortable at a wedding where I wouldn't know what is going on next.  She was upset at me for not responding to her as soon as she told me the date was Memorial Day weekend.  But then, she is a bossy type who has trouble when she can't manipulate people as she wants....

Another trip to the supermarket with FH and her daughter

 

The store in the Brooklyn Navy Yard was the first Wegmans to open in New York City.  It's been around for a while, and it is easier to reach than I first envisioned.  So, when FH asked me to take her and her daughter on a shopping run today, I didn't mind doing so.

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FH's daughter is a pretty young woman, and has a long happy life ahead of her if she can conquer the demons in her life.  No, I won't go into the details here, but she has many of the problems often exhibited by a woman her age. My impression of her mom asking me to include the daughter on our shopping trip was that of a mother trying to keep her daughter occupied in a time of stress.

When I arrived in Forest Hills, FH asked me if we could stop by a doughnut shop so that her daughter could eat and drink something, so that her stomach wouldn't fight a uncivil war.  Throughout the trip to Brooklyn, the daughter was complaining of how ill she felt. And it seemed as if she would rather have been left at home to deal with her problems by herself, instead of accompanying her mother on this shopping trip.

Arriving at Wegmans, I let them off at the front door while I hunted down a hard to get parking space. Entering the store, I looked around and found the daughter on a motorized shopping cart for handicapped people.  She was tooling around on the shopping cart, while her mom was trying to select food for the week.  Surprisingly, FH's daughter seemed to calm down after a few minutes in the store, as the cart distracted her enough from her sick stomach to make this shopping trip almost a pleasure.  $230 later, we exited the store and headed home.  While on local streets, the daughter got sick, and we had to wait for her to be ready for the rest of the trip home.

Eventually, we made it back to Forest Hills.  We were lucky to find a parking spot across the street from her apartment building.  This made it possible for me to join mom and daughter in carrying the afternoon's purchases to the apartment and loading them into the refrigerator. Both FH and her daughter had unsettled stomachs for different reasons, and we hung out at the apartment until FH was ready to go out to eat.

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Dining out in the age of Covid-19 raises many questions.  One of which is: How many people in a restaurant are "too many" people?  There is a legal definition of "too many."  In NYC, a restaurant is limited to 25% of pre-Covid capacity until 2/28/21.  In the suburbs, it is 50% of pre-Covid capacity.  The restaurant I chose was less than 100 feet from the Nassau county line, and was subject to NYC capacity limits.  This, I thought, would keep occupancy low enough for FH to feel comfortable dining at the restaurant.  At first, she was comfortable.  But, people started coming in, and she was ready to leave the place.  As for me, I have not yet had my first vaccination shot, and I'm the person at greater risk.  Yet, she was the person who was uncomfortable as the place approached 25% capacity.

Once I was done with my dinner, we took a drive to Hicksville, and then I dropped her off at her apartment.  This was a night that I didn't go back upstairs - she was getting tired after a long day.  And I was just as happy to drop her off at her front door, since I was getting a little tired myself after a long week of work.

Is this a legal parking spot?

 

 

I'm sure that one of the (former?) readers of this blog could answer this question: If the fire hydrant is as non-functional as this, should I get ticketed for parking here?

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One of the things I've learned about New York City public street parking is that after a snow storm, people will do as little as possible to shovel out an on-street parking spot, as it will only benefit the next person to use that spot. As a result of the snow, there were fewer available spots than normal in FH's neighborhood than usual, and many of those that were left were inaccessible unless one drove a vehicle with 4 wheel drive.   Since last night seems to have been "Garbage Night" in FH's neighborhood, the refuse from the multi story buildings on both sides of the street were piled up, waiting for the sanitation department to remove at its convenience. This should make it more difficult than usual to find a parking spot. Yet, upon first arrival, I was able to get a spot within 5 minutes of arriving at her building.

Since I arrived on time, I met the doorman at FH's building as he was going on shift, and he let me in without problem.  FH was pleasantly surprised that I found a spot quickly, and even more pleasantly surprised that I could resolve a printer issue she was having before going back to the car and going out to eat.

There is a risk in going out to eat these days, but I figured that since FH didn't want to eat at home with her daughter around, that we should do something elsewhere.  Both of us knew the risks posed by doing this during the pandemic, but we decided to go out anyway.  So I drove out to Freeport, where we didn't find much of anything open.  We tried to eat at a restaurant we ate at months ago, but it was too crowded for her taste.  Then, we drove around for a little bit, and chanced another restaurant in the same area.  I won't go into all the specifics. But this choice was a bit of a mistake, as we had to change rooms because a small party started in the room where we were originally seated.

When we arrived in FH's neighborhood, there was nary a spot to be found, save the "spot" in the picture at the top of this entry.  Would you say that there is a functional fire hydrant that my car is blocking?  More importantly, would you say that I should have gotten a ticket for parking here at night, given what you could and couldn't see on the sides of the street?  I certainly don't know what a NYC court might say, but I was lucky not to be ticketed last night.  Let's hope that no one gets ticketed until this hydrant is returned to working order.

 

A trip to the supermarket

 

 

Normally, I would have no reason to go to a supermarket in Brooklyn.  But today wasn't a normal day.  FH has heard me talk about the Wegmans in White Plains, and she wanted to see the one in Brooklyn.  So, it was off to Brooklyn to fill up a shopping cart.

Driving the 8.5 miles from Forest Hills to the Brooklyn Navy Yard takes longer than one might think, as there is always traffic on the Long Island Expressway (LIE) and Brooklyn Queens Expressway (BQE).  But the worst part of the trip is finding a spot in Wegmans' parking lot. (We didn't know it, but if we spent more than $15, we could have our parking ticket validated for the paid lot next door.) Yet, once we found a spot, we had a short walk to the store.

FH was very impressed with the size of the store.  The closest she could come to a comparison was Whole Foods, and that was a smaller store with similar (above average) prices. She was impressed with the variety of foods available in the store, including things such as Lobster Mac & Cheese, Sushi, Heat & Eat Mexican, fresh fish and other foods not seen in her "local" supermarket.

A filled shopping cart later, we were ready to leave the store for home.  (No, I won't say how much she spent, but I think she was a wee bit surprised when she found out how much everything cost.)  At least, it was easier to get back to Forest Hills than it was to get to Brooklyn.  And it was much easier to find a spot around 7 pm, than it would be a couple of hours later.

After having some Chinese food upstairs, we settled down to watch "The White Tiger" on Netflix.  During the film, FH and her daughter had a disagreement, and I was caught in the middle of things.  Without saying much, I was there for FH as she talked about some private issues.  And then, we finished watching the film.  I was pleasantly surprised that this film had a plot I liked, a good script with acting to match.  FH thought that my surprise might have been a prejudice against Indian films (which could be true.)  But I countered that I don't like the typical Bollywood film that breaks into a musical number at the most inopportune moment.  (I dislike most Hollywood musicals, and Bollywood takes the idea of a musical a few steps further than Hollywood ever could.) Thinking about it, maybe my film watching bias is towards cultures with which I am more familiar.

And then, it was time to go home.  As I drove down the hill leading into Croton, a sudden chill came into the car.  It's as if cold air had been trapped close to water level, and once encountered, the car's heater couldn't warm up the inside of the car quick enough not to notice a change.  

Tomorrow will be a food shopping day, as a big snowstorm is expected Sunday night through Tuesday morning.  I guess I'll have to postpone my doctor's appointment originally scheduled for this Monday.

Something to be thankful for, but....

 

What can I say about this Thanksgiving? It certainly wasn't what I would have wanted or planned. Yet, I am thankful for it....

Without going into all the other options that didn't pan out, there was one option that opened up to me too late for me to say "yes".  But I'd have rather this option had not opened up.  My friend, TCL, had invited one of her friends over to have a Thanksgiving meal with her at a local restaurant.  This gentleman is a little bit of a flake at times, but TCL made sure that I understood that her friend had a very good reason to skip the meal - he had to be admitted into the local hospital.  Although I can't go into any more details, TCL was able to show me that his situation was serious, and that he needed immediate treatment and care.  I wish I could have then said yes to TCL, but I already had plans with FH and didn't want to break them.

Many people might not have known that Boston Market was open (in a limited way) for Thanksgiving.  People had a very limited choice of meals, as the stores were doing Thanksgiving Feasts to go. Lines stretched out the doors, and out to the back of the stores. Yet, they moved quickly, as evidenced by the one I was on.  After picking up 3 meals (1 each for FH, her daughter, and me), I was off to Forest Hills for dinner.

Once I reached Queens, I decided to look for plastic utensils, so that we didn't need to clean up anything. I ended up driving through Flushing, and the area is even more built up and more like a part of Asia than I remember it being.  (The heart of Flushing is one of New York's newer Chinatowns, and I wanted to see what has changed since I was there last.)  Eventually, I made it to FH's place, and I was extremely lucky to find a place in front of her door.  Even more so, I was lucky that the door was open to her building, since both the doorman was on duty AND that the temperature was in the 60s when I arrived.

Even though I bought 3 meals, the only thing FH's daughter wanted to eat was the Mac & Cheese bowl I picked up.  The girl (she's 21) is a very picky person, and didn't even want to eat anything else on the table.  Once dinner was complete, FH and I went to her cousin's house for an outdoors holiday chat, and I eventually dropped her off at her place a little before 9 pm.

Would I have chosen this day, knowing how things would be?  Probably not.  But I am grateful that FH is comfortable introducing me to her cousin and his daughter. And I am grateful that I had this place to be on Thanksgiving, a holiday I could have easily spent alone and depressed.

 

 

Final results, some lunch, and a chair

 

As I start this entry, I can finally that there is a light at the tunnel for us transgender folk. Our 45th president has been declared to have lost the presidential election, and our national nightmare is almost over.  This doesn't mean that we've won the war against regressive elements in society.  Instead, we now have denied the worst elements of our society a key friendship with someone with access to the levers of power. But this entry is not about the trouble caused by our 45th president.  Instead, today's discussion is about a more mundane subject - a date with FH that had us going to Beacon, NY with a return trip to Forest Hills to assemble a chair.

Last week, FH asked me to order a chair from Staples, as she couldn't receive a delivery during the day.  As much as I was a bit reticent about doing this, I agreed to do so.  However, it took me until late Wednesday night to place the order for the chair, and it came on Friday morning before I went for a 4 mile walk along the Croton Aqueduct Trail with my friend DS.  Once home, I realized that I had to clean up much of the disaster my apartment had turned into over the past few months, so that I wouldn't be excessively embarrassed if FH came inside for a minute.

The next day was our date. I did some last minute cleanup, and then drove down to Yonkers to meet FH.  She hadn't been to Yonkers in years, and was surprised that the old Nathan's Famous was no longer there.  In its place is now a much more modest venue, with other stores occupying the land the original building once used.  After taking care of some business, it was off to Cold Spring to do some walking around and then grabbing a bite to eat.

It took us an hour to reach Cold Spring, but there was nowhere to park.  The municipal lot was full, and the town was full of people walking around, enjoying a warm November day.  After a few rounds through town, we were unable to find a place to park.  So it was off to Beacon for lunch and some exploration.

There is a Thai restaurant near the dummy light in Beacon that is pretty good.  So we found a nearby parking space and ambled over to it.  While walking there, a group of cars passed by, people honking their horns in a celebratory manner.  Joe Biden had just been declared the winner of this year's presidential election by several networks (finally!), and people celebrated as if a house had fallen on an ugly Wiccan practitioner from the West, with an opportunity for someone to acquire a gently used pair of red shoes.  Once done with lunch, we explored Beacon a little before starting the long drive home.

On the way home, we decided to pass through Cold Spring again, and again, no parking was to be found in town. We were now off to Forest Hills, and to assemble the chair that was loaded in my car.  When we finally reached FH's apartment building, we were extremely lucky - there was a parking spot open directly in front of the entrance to her building.  We unloaded the box containing the chair, and brought it up to her apartment.  A few minutes inside the apartment, we started to open the box and put the chair together.  As expected, we encountered a few glitches before getting the chair assembled. But all went relatively smoothly, and we were able to watch our future president's "victory speech" while we have each other massages.  

Although I am not sure of where things will go, if they will go, etc., FH is a nice woman to be with.  However, I also have to see where FL wants to go, as I am still not sure of which of these two women I want to be with. 

PS: FL and I had a discussion shortly after I wrote this entry.  My dual-gendered nature is something more than she can handle.  So we've agreed to remain good friends.

 

 

 

 

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