Sometimes, I feel like the world is closing down on me.

 

Lately, I have been feeling down in the dumps because of a few minor things.  But I can sum it up in a simple phrase that could be worrisome if I didn't know myself: "The Thrill Has Gone."

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Since my then girlfriend and I broke up in 2019, I haven't found a new spark to ignite my passions.The woman I called FH in this blog and I stopped seeing each other this spring. The woman I call MWL and I have developed a non-physical relationship.  Given my experiences with the late Ex-GF-M, I don't think I can afford to open up too much to her - even though she is accepting of Marian AND does some exercise. Part of me wants to have a romantic relationship, but is no longer thrilled by the effort it takes to have one.  But being alone is also unfulfilling.

If my "large" apartment was as neat, tidy and organized as the one in the picture, I'd probably be able to invite people now and then.  Alas, it's messy enough to keep me from getting any value out of having a cleaning lady come over.  Sooner or later, I'll have to try to get my cleaning lady back, and see if she can take over where she left off before the pandemic set in.

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The other day, I got an email saying that an interview had been scheduled for me with the New York Court system.  However, when I needed to print a document so that I could physically sign it, my printer ran out of ink.  Wouldn't you know it - I couldn't find any of the ink cartridges I had in my apartment.  So I'll have to go out and buy new ones.  AARGH!

I talked to the hostess of my Yonkers gaming group, and told her of the Court System interview.  She advised me to go as Mario.  And this is what I already planned to do before speaking with her.  This woman is a good resource for me, as she has her finger on the pulse of what is going on in the real world.

If I were to get the job, it'll feel a little strange going to work in trousers again.  But I found that being Marian helps keep me sane; this presentation just doesn't need to be an everyday occurrence.  Too bad that some people didn't understand this....

 

 

 

A rainy day, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go out again.

I decided to try and get an oil change, but to no avail.  The cars were double parked inside of Mavis's parking lot.  If I really want to get the tire rotation and oil change I need at a reasonable price, I'll have to go very early tomorrow morning.

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Last night, I didn't start trying to go to sleep until 2 am or so.  And it seemed to take forever for me to fall out.  But when I finally woke up, I had blown through 2 alarms, only waking up for a 10 am alarm I had set.  This meant that it was going to take some time for me to get moving, and I stayed in the comfort of a warm blanket as long as possible. Eventually, I was up and out of the house around 1 pm, and saw that there was no chance for me to get the oil change I need.  So I ended up picking up lunch at the local Mickey D's, then drove home for a while.

Around 4 pm, I looked out the window, and saw that it was raining.  Did I really want to drive to Connecticut?  I wasn't sure.  But I still had a couple of things to take care of.  First, I had received a "Canvas Letter" from NYS asking me to express my interest in a position across the river from me.  So I ran off a copy of my resume, and enclosed it with a signed copy of the letter, and returned it to Albany to be considered for the position.  Then, I found that my printer had run out of ink.  So, in addition to the Dermablend foundation I needed to buy, I also needed to buy a new ink cartridge for the printer.

I left my apartment around 5:30, which should have given me enough time to make it to the meetup in Norwalk.  Luckily, I allocated the extra 15 minutes, as there was a major backup on Route 95 that I was able to avoid by taking the Merritt.  And I got to the restaurant at the same time that the hostess was arriving.  Instead of sitting down at our table, we realized that "Happy Hour" ended at 7, and that we could still get a discounted drink at the bar.  So we placed our drink orders, had the bartender take the picture above, and then brought our drinks to the table.  From there, most of us partook of Monday's $6 burger night.  YUM!

All too soon, it was time to depart.  The drive home was less of a headache than the drive to the meetup - there was no rush hour start and stops.  However, the rain did get in the way of enjoying the drive, as I had to be much more alert than I usually would be. So I was very glad that I didn't take full advantage of Happy Hour....