I just ordered a new dress. (Now to find one to donate....)

 

The other day, I saw this dress on the One Stop Plus / Catherine's site.  Before I decided to buy it, I consulted with RQS, as I will be wearing (sometimes) it when we go out together.  However, I won't be sure if I like the dress until I see it on me.  This is one reason why I wish Catherine's still had its retail stores.

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Over the years, I have learned how to dress as a woman by buying many things that didn't work that well on my figure.  Most of those garments have been donated to charity, with more to come as I clean out my closets and drawers.  I have found that long tunics and leggings work best for me in casual mode (when I'm not wearing a dress), but there are some blouse/trouser combinations that work for me as well.

My rule of thumb is to donate one article of clothing for every one I buy.  Last night, I decided to get dressed (in female presentation) and drive to Wegman's for a grocery run. However, I couldn't find the lightweight duster I would wear over my unitard. So, I wore a shirt dress from a Universal Standard mystery box for the first time.  Just as I was about to turn into the store's parking lot, I discovered that I left my wallet at home.  As a result, I didn't bother stopping to pick up food, and proceeded to go back home slowly and on side roads.

This morning, I was too tired to do much of anything, and didn't bother getting showered until mid-evening.Before I left, I found the duster I was looking for last night, and put it aside for the next time I wear the unitard. So, I moved my ID and money back to Mario's wallet and made my drive to White Plains.  $88.00 later, I was on my way back home with most of the things I was looking for, and a couple of things that were unplanned purchases.

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During the ride home, I touched base with RQS at our usual time.  Something must have been wrong with one of our phones or the phone network, as her voice was coming in muddy - even after a couple of tries to get a clear signal. Luckily, neither of us had that much to say to each other, and we will catch up with each other at the "Same Bat Time and Same Bat Channel."

My late wife and I had a lot in common.

 

After my wife passed, and before I met RQS, I often felt that there would be no one who could fit well into my life.  In retrospect, it is obvious why several exes and I couldn't make things work.  Add my transgender nature to the normal complications of life, and I felt that it would be a fluke to find a woman who felt comfortable with my full and authentic self.  I felt like the woman pictured above - alone, but hopeful.

Yet, after a few conversations I've had lately, including a recent one with TCL, I started thinking of one of my wife's habits.  She was a clothes horse who never pruned her wardrobe.  I, too, am a clothes horse, but one who is pruning her wardrobe.  And some of the pruning efforts have shown me that in my haste, I might get rid of things I really wanted to keep.  To give the pruning process too much thought can result in paralysis - something I've experienced when the contents of my apartment reached a critical mass.

A while back, XGFJ helped me get some order in the corners of my bedroom.  This order was lost during the pandemic.  Lately, RQS has helped me go through the clothing I accumulated and quite a few donation bags have been delivered to a local charity.  Yet, when I look at my closet, I am still finding clothes which are eligible for the next donation bag.

I'll bet that my late wife would be laughing if she could see me today.  She had clothes hanging from the molding over the doors and closets, and I have done the same thing on occasion.  Like her, I accumulated way too much, and couldn't muster enough energy to get rid of the things I no longer need, want or use.  Unlike her, I've had assistance in getting this place into order.

Would she have felt comfortable with me wearing dresses outside the house?  I'll never have the answer to that question.  Would she be comfortable living with someone who was "out"?  Again, I'll never know.  But I do know that she coped with life the best way she could, and wasn't able to reach out for the help she needed when she needed it.  Hopefully, as I get older, I'll know where to find help and be able to get it when needed....

How much is too much?

 

How much is too much?  That is a question I have to ask as I clean up my apartment.  During the pandemic, I had allowed clutter to reach a critical mass.  And, I allowed myself to be entertained by online retail therapy.  In cleaning out the place, I've already donated several bags of clothing to charity, and will likely to donate more in the near future.

One of my weaknesses is to surf the web for dresses that both fit me and will look good on me.  Most cisgender females do not own as many dresses as I own.  But I wasn't able to wear dresses until I reached my 50's.  So, in a way, I'm making up for lost time.  Yet, as I develop my own sense of style, I end up tossing dresses that no longer fit my needs.  In the past, I would stand out because I was wearing dresses when cisgender women would default to wearing trouser like garments.  Now, I have a style which includes these garments when appropriate to wear them.  

If one is a lucky transgender person, one will have the resources to make the mistakes I've made while coming into her own. A word of warning to people newly out - you will stand out like a sore thumb as I did. To some, we may look like drag queens, as we go too far in our attempts to look female. Over time, things will fit into place, and you will blend in if you try to do so.  This might just be a function of finding out how much is too much....

Another weekend with RQS - Day 1

 

I'm afraid that I accidentally donated this dress several months ago.  When I showed RQS this picture, she noted that it was a good look for me, and that she'd keep an eye out for it as we looked through my storage bins this weekend.

But first....

As I've noted, I now arrive ar Croton Harmon station in Marian Mode to pick RQS up on arrival.  She is very comfortable with this, and has gotten used to seeing me wearing a dress when we go out to eat.  Yes, it may be a little subversive in nature, but we're comfortable with it, and that's all I care about.

This week, we decided to do something different and go to a Chinese Buffet near me.  Both of us pigged out.  RQS was impressed with the quality of the buffet.  I was gobsmacked with the inflated price of the buffet.  (I'm not complaining here.  It is just sticker shock, as I haven't been to this place since before the pandemic.)

What pleasantly surprised me today was that RQS is becoming more comfortable with me in Marian mode.  Although I'll always be there for her as Mario, it is nice that she accepts Marian as well....

It's getting harder and harder to make charitable donations

 

I used to have no problem getting rid of clothing I no longer needed.  When my wife died, I brought at least 15 large bags of clothing to a local charity - and they were grateful to get it.  Today, with Covid-19 causing many thrift shops to close, it's much harder to get rid of extra clothing without putting it into the roadside bins without receiving a receipt for a charitable donation.

When the LGBT center's thrift shop was open, I used to bring bags of clothing there for resale - and I know that it did the center good.  However, Covid-19 forced the center to make a hard decision, and they closed down the thrift shop.  Luckily, I knew of a few places that still accepted clothing donations.  But they had limited store hours, most closing at 5 pm.  AARGH!  Since I didn't want to wait until I got back from vacation to make my donations, I drove to a nearby donation center - and arrived a minute before closing.  (Their lights had just been turned off as I pulled into the place.)  So they reopened just to take my bags (and of the woman ahead of me), and get us out of there as quickly as possible.

I have nothing against this place, and I will likely use them again.  But I intend to use Goodwill for my next donation, and see what receipt I get from them.  If I'm lucky, I'll get the type of receipt that my accountant can use to maximal advantage at tax time....