Torn between two desires

There's a part of me that enjoys going to work and getting a paycheck.  And there's another part of me that rebels against getting up at 6 am.  I don't know which side of me will win out.  But I will be relieved when I don't have to wake up at 6 am, but will need to find a part time gig to give me a reason to get up in the morning.

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The other day, I went to the doctor.  Then, he made his usual speech about me becoming more active and losing weight.  I mentioned that it is easier said than done, when the job I have sucks out almost all the energy I have to be active and that it screws up my natural eating patterns in a way that I actually end up eating more than I would have otherwise.  Further along in the discussion, he discussed a potential prescription change with me - and we put it off until my next visit.

I'm pretty sure that I would be in better shape (in many ways) if I no longer had this job.  But it's nice to have enough money coming in that I don't have to raid my savings.  Given the choice of having more time in my life vs. having enough money to avoid draining savings, I am finding it hard to make a definite decision.  I can easily go in either direction.

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I turn 66 1/2 in a little over 2 years.  Do I want to start collecting Social Security earlier than planned, and get a reduced benefit?  If so, I will lose money if I live as long a life as my father did.  Could I start draining my 401k?  I could do that, but I still want my money to grow and outlast me.  I can't say that would happen if I start regular withdrawals now.  These are the questions that many people of my age have to ask.  And there are no right answers, as we do not know how long we will live.  Nor, do we know how healthy we will be when we get to a certain age.

You'll note that I haven't mentioned anything about being transgender.  Until I go on hormones, it is a non issue in the multi-variable equation.  So I'll base my decisions on how long my father lived, and hope that this gives me a good idea of what I need to plan for in the future.

 

A long drive with Vicki

Olana - A place I wanted to visit again with my niece in tow (before Covid-19) and a place I wanted to visit with Vicki after an "Upstate" meetup.  Unfortunately, my intentions keep getting thwarted for different reasons.

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When the day opened, Vicki and I were scheduled to attend a meetup in Woodstock, NY.  Afterwards, we planned to stroll around the town.  It took us a while to find the group, as it was enjoying things at the restaurant's garden area, and we first thought to only look inside the building.  Eventually, we found the group, and ordered our lunch. Conversation was good, especially with a new member of the group. Vicki was so relaxed, that she made verbal slips regarding my gender.  So I made things easier for her and this new person by identifying myself as Trans.  No negative comment from our new friend. We then exchanged phone numbers with this new member, and then broke away from the group as it started to drizzle.

I suggested that we drive up to Olana and take a tour of the mansion.  Unfortunately, the weather only got worse, and it didn't make sense to tour the building.  So, we headed south, and had another bite to eat in Rhinebeck.  It was a nice drive with a good friend who knows me in both of my modes.

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Later on, I chatted with the woman I saw a couple of weeks ago, and had a long chat.  Hopefully, we'll be able to get together again soon.  And then, I chatted with MWL for a while.  

Sooner or later, I may need a day off to take care of things I need to do on my days off.... 

 

 

 

 

 

Looks like a last meetup for a while

 

Years ago, Peter and Gordon sang about "A World Without Love."  It was a great tune penned by two great artists you might have heard of: Lennon and McCartney.  As I write this, tomorrow will likely be the last day that I attend a specific meetup.  I'll be glad that Vicki will be in tow, as we want to enjoy a good meal after hanging out at the HV Live Music Meetup.  (I have written about this meetup group before, so I won't bother talking about my history with the people in it now.)  It'll be a bittersweet thing for me, as I will miss getting together with the people there, but failed to develop the friendships I wanted there.

Lately, I've been going to fewer and fewer meetups, save for my Yonkers Gaming Group which is no longer on Meetup.com.  This is just as well, as I am feeling much more exhausted from this job I'm in than any job I've had before. I don't have as much need to present myself as Marian.  Instead, I simply have a need to be me - no matter how I present myself at the time.  

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The other day, I received another post from my acquaintance in Philadelphia, and forwarded it to a former friend.  She's been silent as of late, and this is much better than the last time we communicated with each other.  Every so often, I look for a response from her in a specific email account that I know I will never receive.  I hope to be able to see this acquaintance soon,  as I don't expect her to be around at this time next year.  (Hopefully, I'll be proven very wrong in the future.)  To do so, I may have to wrap a day or two around a 3 day weekend to do so, as I would also want to take the train to DC to see another acquaintance or two.

Once I leave my current job, I will be free to travel as much as I'd like.  However, I have to make sure that I have enough income coming in to afford my travels.  There is a bucket list trip or two that I plan to take in the next 2 years, and this means both time and money.  Ideally, I'll be able to work part time as needed.  But as I get older, the less I want to do so. Instead, the older I get, the more I want to get on a cruise ship and relax.  Hopefully, I will make new friends when I do so, unlike the last time I cruised....

 

 

It's kind of fitting that I'm watching this movie

I am more interested in the history of baseball than of watching the game itself.  The sport reflects all which is good and bad about America in its history.  And it's fitting that I'm watching the movie 61* at the end of a 162 game season, 60 years after Roger Maris broke Babe Ruth's home run record.

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Today was an interesting day.  I started it out with a visit to my doctor.  As usual, he hectored me about losing weight, when it should have been to get more active.  But that's another story for another day. Once done with him, I had a quick breakfast sandwich, then changed into Marian Mode to go to work.

As usual, I had to fight off the urge to nod out at my desk. But this time, I knew the cause - there was way too much blood in my caffeine stream, and I knew I needed a cup of coffee at the earliest chance. Once this was taken care of, it would be smooth sailing to the end of the day.

Something I usually do during each day is to write a list of things that need to be taken care of.   Almost always, there are things on my to-do list that never seem to get done - such as cleaning my apartment. But one thing of note is coming to mind again.  I need to flesh out one part of my feminine wardrobe.  In the winter, women tend to wear more utilitarian clothing, and that includes denim jeans.  I need to do the same, and yet I still need to look as feminine as reasonably possible.  So, while taking care of business, I let my mind wander to figure out what clothing I need to buy.

Later on, I got a text from Vicki telling me that her cell phone died, and that she is also having to recover apps to her new phone.  Although she was having thoughts about it, she decided to restore Facebook - something I consider a big time suck.  (She barely uses it, but her friends do.  So it was worthy of consider installing on her new phone.)  It took a while, but she eventually was able to do so. At this point, I told her about my clothing "dilemma" and she came up with ideas similar to what I had - getting jean like garments (read: "Jeggings") to be worn under some of my tunics.  Then, I should consider adding more basic tunics and long sweaters to the wardrobe.  Yes, I'll have to set a budget for these garments, but I should do so in order to blend in with the other women I encounter on a regular basis.

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By the time this entry is made public, the baseball season will have ended.  If I'm right, the wild card playoff will have taken place and the divisional series in each league should have started.  This is a far cry from what baseball's post season looked like in 1961.  I wish we could turn back the clock 60 years, so we could see baseball before it got (more) corrupted by the use of "Juice" (Steroids).  Roger Maris will always have my respect unlike other home record holders, as he was the last to break a Ruthian record before the game tolerated "Juicing" to put fans in the seats....
 

 

Standardization - Should it be imposed by government?

In America, our choice of data/power connector has been made for us by the manufacturers of our electronic products.  If one is an Apple customer, one uses the connector on the right.  If on Android, one uses the connector on the left.  Does this make sense?  Shouldn't all products play nice in the sandbox?

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I started off with the Apple vs. Android dispute, as it goes much deeper than one would think.  Most Android products can talk with each other.  My cell phone can be tethered to an Android tablet without problems.  The same can be said about Apple phones and tablets.  But Apple makes sure, at almost every point, that its products do not interface well with the other products' ecosystems.  There is no reason that I can't tether my iPad to a Samsung cell phone via Bluetooth or Wi_Fi connections.  Yet, this is so.

Several weeks ago, one of my friends asked me to figure out a problem.  She had a non-Apple laptop and an Apple phone, and couldn't get tethering to work, so that she could submit her final project.  So I allowed her to tether her laptop to my phone, and she was able to submit the project on time.  This is not a good thing.  Wi-Fil to Wi-Fi connections and Bluetooth to Bluetooth connections are simple.  Yet, Apple makes "security" excuses for why this can't be done.  This is bullshit to the average person.  And it is starting to be so for regulators as well.

Europeans are getting tired of the E-Waste being generated for its electronics.  They would like to have a simple wiring standard that can be used on all common electronic devices, and they want to standardize on USB-C.  Apple is strongly against, this, as this is the first step towards making Apple play nice in the sandbox and acting like all other electronics manufacturers.  Europe wants people to make "Oranges to Oranges" comparisons between products, and not force people to choose between one manufacturer's ecosystem vs. another manufacturer's (or group) ecosystem.

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About 160 years ago, the United States had no standards for simple things such as screw threads.  This caused us a lot of grief when we started mass production of manufactured foods.  We needed to standardize specifications for most of the basic products, such as screw threads.  How thick they had to be, what angle did they wrap around the screw, and how much distance between the threads had to be included in this standard.  Standardizing screws, nuts, bolts, was only one part of the problem.  Even the screw heads had to be standardized.  In America, we have the flat head and Phillips screwdrivers.  But in Canada, they have one more variety - the Richardson head.  (I think this to be a superior design to the Phillips head, but I won't go into it here.)  Standardization has forced American manufacturers to compete on both quality and price, and has allowed us a greater variety of product providers had standardization not been mandated.

Yet, there is value to competing standards - for a while.  Does anyone remember VHS vs. Beta?  Although Sony's product was technically the better product, it failed in the marketplace.  Video Tape Recorder manufacturers standardized on VHS before the product itself (the VCR) became obsolete. Competition doesn't always mean that the best product will survive.  It means that a product at a decent value/price point will survive.  But what happens when the market stabilizes with two standards.  Does this benefit the consumer?

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For me, the jury is out.  I own both Apple and Android products, and prefer my Android products.  Although I use an iPad, it is not my favorite device.  I would prefer to buy a new Samsung tablet if I could get one with connectivity to the 4g/5g cell phone networks.  Yes, there are drawbacks to this approach.  Most manufacturers of Android products do not maintain them for as long as Apple does for its products.  So in a way, it seems like we have a modern day equivalent of a Coke vs Pepsi Taste Challenge. As for me, I'll "Make Mine Moxie!"

 

Sometimes, a gig will typecast you

 

Truth Justice and "the American Way."  Sounds great, doesn't it?  Well, the man above was typecast as "Superman" and couldn't get another good role in Hollywood after the show stopped filming.  Why is this a lesson to be remembered?

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Recently, I decided to contact an old friend who I've stayed away from because of his politics.  He was starting to go off the rails when I last was in contact with him, and what he mentioned about his vaccination status implied that he drank some, but not all, of the Kool-Aid that his political tribe is drinking.  

But I digress....

This fellow was the person who inspired me to enroll in my Masters program and get a degree in Education.  The idea was that by getting a foot in the door, I could get a tenured position in some school.  I quickly found out that there were no jobs available for people like me with this certification.  Yet, I found the degree to be the greatest investment in myself that I could have made.  No, it did not do anything to help me find work.  Instead, it helped me find in myself what I could be (or could have been) when properly motivated and mentored.

Although I was able to stay in the computer field for 3 years after getting my degree, my friend has been out of anything related to technology for years.  For him, the past 13 years or so have been a series of substitute teaching gigs broken up by some long term (a little less than a school year) teacher replacement positions. This is not the life I wanted to lead.  But I wonder, could he be overqualified to find work?  And, has he been taking too many short term gigs, instead of finding available work in a New York City public school as a starter position?

My acquaintance has 2 certifications - courses in both of his specialty areas are required for students to graduate with a "Regents Degree".  But this hasn't gotten him the job he wanted.  So I wondered, has he been subbing too long?  So, I started to think about an unrelated field - acting.  His experience reminded me of people who try to break into acting by starting out as extras.  They get an idea of what acting is like by being on a set, putting up with a lot of the headaches of filming a show, and building up a starter set of professional experiences.  Yet, one can only be an extra so many times before people stop taking your desire to be professional actor as a serious desire.  Could this have happened to him?

- - - - - -

Years ago, I decided to stop fighting to stay in the technology fields, as I had too much to catch up on, and I'd be out of the field way too long.  Three years after I left the bank, I gave up on the idea of being a project manager - and this made things easier for me to move forward with my life.  I wonder what would have happened if the man pictured at the top of this entry had made plans, as Lyle Waggoner did, to have a career after acting.  And I wonder what would have happened if my friend has a plan B to be used if teaching didn't work out....

 

 

Just another brick in the wall....

 

Have you ever had your phone turn into a brick?  I have, and it's not fun.

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I have been looking at new cell phones for a while, and have been dickering about whether I should buy a new one or not.  Well, that decision was made for me at 3:30 this morning.  My phone changed from being something useful to being a brick.

You might be asking, "How did I know that the phone was a brick?"  I wasn't sure at first myself.  When I woke up this morning, I thought it was 3:30 am based on the display of my phone.  When I looked at my watch, it said 6:45.  I thought that the watch was set poorly until I looked at the cable box. Then it dawned on me - the phone got stuck, and my alarms didn't ring.

At this point, I made the decision NOT to go to work and called in sick when I knew I wouldn't be waking up my boss.  And then, I tried to reboot the phone.  No luck.  I now had the first boot screen flashing on the display, with the phone boot up process stuck in an endless loop.  Now it was time to try a factory reset.  I couldn't even do that.  My phone was officially a brick!

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Now that my phone was now a worthless piece of electronic waste, I knew that this was going to be a Mario Mode day.  I would need to present myself as Mario, just in case my legal identity needed to be verified.  And I didn't want any headaches from people serving me today.  So off went the idea of putting on a tunic and leggings, and on went the idea of wearing a long sleeved shirt and trousers. And off I went to Best Buy to see what phones they had in stock.

In chatting with the salesperson at Best Buy, he had a slight preference for Samsung phones over Motorola, noting that he had heard of this type of Bricking Problem before.  Yet, he recognized that the Motorola phones provided excellent value and run close to stock Android.  Given that I wanted as much memory as possible AND wanted a phone I knew would be upgraded to Android 12, I chose the Motorola phone.  If he had more negative things to say about Motorola, I'd have gone with Samsung and dealt with their needless Android skin mods and their dumb Bixby button.

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When I finally got home, I started the process of taking the SIM and Micro SD card out of the old phone and installing them in the new phone.  Although I have a wealth of SIM removal pins, I didn't have one as long as needed to eject the new phone's card tray.  I was very lucky to make sure that I saved all materials for the phone, as I found this pin and used it.  After that, the restoration of apps to the new phone was easy.  Everything had been backed up, and all I had to do was log on to my Google account and start the process of reloading apps from the Google Play store.

As much as I like the new phone, it still seems a little foreign to me.  Until I have a new case that isn't that slippery, I'll have to be very careful when the phone is out of my purse or my pocket.