Thinking about the year soon gone.

 

RQS and I seem to be spending most of our free time together, and we've got a routine that seems to be working for us.  This got me thinking about how my life has changed over the past few years, and how things seem to be crystalizing into something nice this past year.

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At the beginning of the year, I was concerned about visiting my uncle before he passed away.  Sadly, this did not happen, and I ended up taking a California Coastal Cruise by myself - one of the few times I've traveled lately without her.  (Yes, I will note that I booked my Hawaii cruise before I met her, but I did offer to have her come with me on the cruise.)  Our big trip was our Norwegian Cruise in June   And then, we took 2 separate cruises to Bermuda.  Cruising has become our favorite form of vacation, but the idea of visiting places already visited has diminished.  We want to experience new places.  And that may mean changing how we travel and where we go.

As we age, we have to worry a bit about changes in our health.  RQS has had her health problems, and I have had my issues.  I will soon need to search for a new GP, as my doctor is getting old.  He's a good doctor, but I have my issues about reaching his office, and the quality of his staff.  My sleep doctor is retiring at year end, and I need to find out who I will need to see for future follow-ups.  Luckily, the doctor who performed my colonoscopy is young, and I will likely be able to see him when I next need to have the lower part of my GI-Tract inspected.

Getting older often means that one will see his/her peers gradually die off.  Earlier this year, one of the people with whom I went to college suddenly passed away.  My cousin passed away just before RQS and I went on one of our Bermuda cruises.  And last night, I was told that the clinical supervisor for my feminine speech training at Mercy College had passed away due to a heart attack.  I live one of the more unhealthy lifestyles of people I know.  Yet, I've been lucky enough to maintain my addictions to air, water and food.  

Now that I've been out of the workforce for 2+ years, I miss work for only one reason - the social aspect of being in an office.  Towards the end of my work life, I knew that my efforts were underappreciated.  At the bank, I was no longer in the location where the company was growing, I was in a field that was quickly dying off, and I had been unable to make the transition to a new skill set in time to maintain my value to the corporation.  I was a misfit for the first job after leaving the bank .  And then, the next 2 jobs had no room for future growth.  So I'm glad that I have my days to myself.

Even with having days to myself, I'm finding that I'm attending fewer meetups.  More of them are being held on weekends, and I am no longer free on weekends.  More of my time is committed to being with RQS (and her time with me) than I ever had with XGFJ.  We stumbled into a solid relationship, and I make sure to tell her how lucky I feel that she's with me on this part of my journey through life.  Contrast this with my brother's life.  My sister in law's illness has put extreme stress on their relationship, and he stays away from the house to maintain his peace of mind.  Earlier in the year, he booked a Mediterranean cruise for August, and then cancelled it for reasons other than he wanted to mention - I think my sister in law's illness played a part in his decision.  Virtually all of his travel now is without his wife, and I feel sorry that they do not travel together to see their offspring.  I wouldn't trade my life with RQS for his life with his wife.  I prefer to spend my time with RQS when possible.

I am worried about what will happen over the next 4 years.  The president-elect is being reckless with his nominations, and will likely alienate us from the free world.  More important to me is the GOP's attitude towards transgender people.  Although I could live in stealth mode, I don't trust the powers that be not to violate my civil rights.  So I am working on getting a second passport.

So many things are in flux right now.  And yet, I feel calm.  Somehow, I'll find a way to survive and prosper - in spite of the world around me.

 

A death of an acquaintance.

 

This picture has nothing to do with about what I am writing about today.  Yet, it was a reminder that I had to get around to writing about a death of someone I haven't seen in years.

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Years ago, I went to school with a man who joked about forming his own Klan.  (Spelling that word with a "K" is intentional.)  This man was raised by an intolerant Germanic father, and he inherited many of his attitudes from his dad.  At that time, I liked this person (I didn't have good taste in people then), and I ended up buying an insurance policy from him when he was in the insurance business.  

Over the years, we lost contact, and he went his own way with his life.  Yet, I was shocked to hear from him via Facebook, and I felt that he had the same attitudes he had in his past, as he was a Trump supporter. When he died, I decided to look at his Facebook page, and I was surprised by several things.  First, he was no longer posting stupid things on his Facebook page, and there was little trace of the Trump support he showed in the past.  Next, it appeared that he married again (he was already divorced once when I knew him), and that nothing showed up in his feed showing what this woman looked like. And finally, it looks like he had done a complete turnabout in regard to racial relations.

Sadly, I will not be in the NYC area when a memorial service is held for him.  I would like to find out what happened to him in the years since we were together.  I wonder what he would think if he were to find out that I am transgender.  Unfortunately, some things can not be known....


PS: I later found out that he was still on his second marriage.  Never trust personal data shared on Facebook.