I'm so tired...

 

This is another quick post....

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To keep my mind from exploding due to boredom, I've actively used an MP3 player to entertain me while I do an almost mindless task.  Today, one Beatles tune comes to mind: "I'm So Tired."  Although this song was written to "document" a different person's exhaustion, it seems to echo what I've been dealing with as of late.

Today, I started work with a bang.  Yet by the time coffee break came, I had no energy and was ready to fall asleep.  I was glad to have no outside events coming up.  But, I had a Zoom meeting with two of my friends from Texas.  And I wish I could have postponed the zoom for another week - something I'm glad I didn't have to do.

By the time my Zoom meeting ended, I was ready to put my head on a pillow and fall asleep - which I did for an hour.  At least, I woke up in time to say goodnight to RQS and remind her of a lobster truck that will be visiting her neighborhood tomorrow.

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Tomorrow, I will have to remove the nail polish from this Sunday's Mani-Pedi.  I'll have another Zoom with my ex-boss, and then have to run to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions.  AARGH.  Next time, I'll be sure to be able to stay in Marian mode for a full week before I get another manicure....

Cause and effect

 

The other day, I received a communication from someone who said that I betrayed her.  That word may be a little harsh, but I never meant to hurt this woman.  She then mentioned my ex-girlfriend as a comparison, and I responded - my ex betrayed me.  In short, I was saying that almost all people should get a second chance when no evil intent was intended.  Sadly, this person will likely hold her grudge forever. 

But this got me thinking a little....

One of the things this person has in common with my ex is a connection to me.  Could she have influenced the ex to do certain things?  Possibly.  In anger, people will do the strangest things and regret them later. But I was thinking in a very different direction.  What if the ex was trying to send me a signal, and it misfired in a way she couldn't expect?  When a person says they want to break up, one shouldn't expect a newly minted ex not to think about dating - even if it's the day after the breakup.

This triggered a thought about another woman I know who was separated from her husband for years. When he died, like me, she wanted to get back into the saddle as quickly as possible.  For both of us, this approach didn't lead us in the direction we expected to go.  In my case as of late, if I didn't go out in the world as Marian, I'd have had my choice of 2 different girlfriends.

As you can guess, I've been doing a lot of thinking while working.  My MP3 player can distract me only so much.  I get a lot of ideas for this blog while screen scraping or key entering data at the office.  Yet, only some of them have any value to me these days.  I don't want to include events from others' lives as I did in the past.  Yet, I must say that the chaos I saw first hand made for interesting reading for some people - especially one person who both spoke and wrote loudly.  

Lately, I don't go into as many meetups as I used to in the past.  I'm a little bit more picky now.  One group is hit and miss due to the small group size.  The other is hit and miss due to the distance to get there and to get home.  Do I miss them?  Sometimes.  But, I no longer need that many meetups to be with people. Strangely, that's a gift that my ex, this former acquaintance, and the pandemic have given to me. 

I broke down and bought something I could use at work.

Normally, I would not bother buying an MP3 player, as I already own a cell phone which can play MP3 files.  However, I figure that as long as I'm working where I work, it makes sense for me to listen to music (or radio) via an MP3 player which is unable to be used for taking pictures ot recording images.

Given that Apple no longer supports its original iPod music players, only 3rd tier Chinese manufacturers are producing units that suit my needs.  And that suits me fine.  This unit comes with all I need to carry my complete music collection with me when I go to work.  And even if I leave this job soon, I can carry it with me when I'm eventually called in for jury duty.  (The judges do not want people waiting in the jury selection area to be bothered by phones ringing, disturbing the selection process.)

I figure that having a unit like this will serve a limited function for a limited amount of time.  And that's fine with me, as I am tired of not having any stimulation while sitting at my work station.

 

PS: I had to return this unit, as it didn't play files saved in my iTunes format (M4A).
PPS: I ordered a replacement that plays M4A files.