Fogo de Chão with RQS - NYC Restaurant Week

 

Fogo de Chão is a chain of Churrascaria restaurants which specialize in what I describe as Brazilian BBQ.  No, my description does not do this kind of restaurant justice.  It is the place for Atkins Diet feast!  Grilled meats keep on coming until you have to say "Uncle!  Food Won!"  And for NYC Restaurant week, I decided to take RQS to their Midtown Manhattan outpost to feast like there was no tomorrow.

One of the problems of taking the train into Grand Central is that it is awkward to make an easy transfer (in midtown) to a "B Division" subway line to access one of the former IND system routes' subway stations.  I could make it to  Grand Central Terminal easily.  But to get to a station associated with the 6th or 8th Avenue lines, I either have to make an awkward transfer involving a block's walk underground, an out-of-system transfer involving a 2 block walk underground, or simply take surface transit to the desired location.  Given that I had time to kill and mistakenly forgot one transfer point, I ended up walking from 42nd Street and Park Avenue to 53rd Street and 5th Avenue (give or take a few hundred feet).

My timing ended up being perfect - Both RQS and I arrived at the restaurant at 6:00 pm.  And from there, we went inside to feast.  RQS had forgotten that I had planned to get a Mani-Pedi earlier in the day, so she was a little surprised to see me arrive in Marian mode.  Yet, the dress I was wearing had grown on her a little.  (She said that if I buy more dresses like this, that I will have to try them on before committing to them.)  After getting enough salad and veggies to empty a farm (I have to mention how good their Caesar Salad is here - I could have feasted on that alone), the meat began to come. And boy did it come!  Chicken, Lamb, Sausages, various cuts of Beef all came around to our table, and within an hour and a half we were stuffed like Thanksgiving Turkeys.

All too soon, it was time to leave.  I went back to Grand Central the long way, and she was able to take one train home.  By 9:30 pm, both of us were at our homes and ready to go to bed.  Both of us enjoyed this mid week get together.  I think we'll do it more often if I can find a few excuses to do so.

The start of a nice weekend

 

As I've mentioned quite often, I don't have the energy that I used to have years ago.  In past years, I'd set myself up to do several things in the same day, and get them all done.  For example, I'd create a checklist for the things that I wanted to accomplish that day such as that below:

1. Call Cruise line about promotion offer.
2. Call Doctor's office regarding being set up to be able to leave messages after hours.
3. Lunch with a friend.
   
4. Shopping at the supermarket.
5. Ear Piercing.
6. Manicure/Pedicure.
7. Dinner Meetup.

When I was working, I had the energy to fit all of this into a weekend day.  (Not all of these things could be done on the weekend.  But I digress.)  These days, if I'm lucky, I get around to 2 or 3 of them. So when RQS came up for the weekend, I knew I had time to do only 3 things before she got here, and only accomplished 1 of them - the Mani/Pedi in that list. Retirement changes a lot about what one can expect from herself.  In my case, I manage what I do, so that I have enough energy to enjoy the time that RQS is here.

- - - - - -

My day started slowly, and I got out just early enough to have time for a Mani-Pedi at the local nail salon.  I'm not a conversationalist when I'm at the salon, as I am not a regular, and I don't want to use my voice that much.  So, my visits become a sort of quiet time that I can enjoy while someone takes care of me.

Once done with the Mani-Pedi, it was off to Dunkin Donuts where I sated my hunger with a egg & chorizo wrap.  It would not fill me up enough to make me skip an early dinner.  But if needed, it would hold me over until we ate a late dinner.  Either way, I'd be able to be in sync with RQS when she arrived at the train station.

As usual, I was in Marian mode when RQS arrived in Croton..(What would you expect after getting a Mani-Pedi?)  She liked the dress from Flax that I was wearing, and this confirmed my desire to continue purging clothes that no longer fit my style and fill more donation bags.  Since we both could enjoy an early dinner, we went to a nearby place for Greek food, then took a drive before getting ice cream for dessert.

Finally, we were in for the evening.  And it was time to strip.  But before I did so, I showed her an exercise dress I got from Macy's (online), and she liked it on me.  Yes, the hemline was a bit short for purposes other than exercise.  But it looked good enough to consider buying another.  (Now, I really have to prune what's in my closet!)

Tomorrow, it'll be off to have a delayed birthday dinner.  (More on that later.) 

I've finished packing, but am not ready to go....

 

I can only imagine what will happen if I forgot to pack anything important for my trip.  Right now, both my carry-on and large suitcase are virtually ready to go.  There are a couple more things that I will need to pack in the morning, such as my CPAP machine.  But I'll deal with that in the morning.

- - - - - -

This afternoon, I had lunch with SJM, and we talked a bit about everything.  I mentioned the tax headaches I had this year, and she mentioned her headaches in that area.  And then we got into the problems with the American medical system and how they are forcing her to make choices that she shouldn't have to make.  After that, we talked about the place where we both once worked, and noted that it was a mediocre place to work at best, that we are both better off for being out of the place.

Once I was finished with lunch, I got a mani-pedi before doing some last minute cosmetics shopping for my trip.  I can't seem to find the small perfume vials I bought a while ago, and this forces me to bring a full size bottle in my checked suitcase.  AARGH!  So many things I should have checked out a long while ago, and I didn't do so.  Such is life.

Tomorrow, I'll get dressed as a female and prepare to spend the next 10 days of my life as Marian.  It'll always feel strange presenting my legal (male) ID at the airports and at the cruise ports.  But I know from experience that TSA has no problem with this, and that the cruise line hasn't given me any problems with this in the past.

Let's hope that I haven't forgotten anything....

- - - - - -

On other matters, I have ordered some outfits from Universal Standard.  What bothers me is that the day after I placed the order, I got a 20% off code that I could have used for this order.  Given that I spent over $350 for 2 garments, I would have saved at least $60 had I known to wait for a couple of days.  AARGH!

Next, I placed an Amazon order for a few things I'll need when I get back from my trip, knowing that my next door neighbor will hold them until I return home.  Couple this with a Lane Bryant order I placed (two slips that I'll wear as nighties), and there will be a lot waiting for me when I get home - including credit card bills....

Now, I have some plans for more than the next couple of days.

 

This won't be a long post.  But I know how I'll be dressed for the next week or so.  And it'll be nice to spend another week solely as Marian!

In the past, I have mentioned how I use a calendar to keep track of which days I'll present as Mario and which days I'll present as Marian.  Tomorrow, RQS and I are going to the nail salon - and that means that I'll be spending the better part of next week as Marian.  Yay!  Yes, it helps that RQS will be coming up for Game Night this week.  And I'm always glad that she can spend time with the people I call my friends.

When I dated XGFJ, there were people with whom I only socialized with as Marian.  This situation made XGFJ uncomfortable accompanying me to certain gatherings.  Now that we've been out of each other's lives for a while, we've been able to live our lives without encumbrances posed by each other's comfort levels.  And that's been a blessing for me, as I prefer to be out as Marian as much as possible.

The other day, I chatted with a friend about this, and she was glad that RQS and I are in a place where she's comfortable with me in either presentation.  Yet, I know that when V-Day comes, I'll likely be in Mario mode for that night - I think she'll be happy to see me that way on that special day.  Yet, it would be nice if we could both get dressed up in elegant red dresses and spend that night on the town.  One can dream, can't she....?

It's hard to plan things these days

 

I don't know how I stumbled onto the above picture of Alfred and Alice E. Newman.  But it illustrates how the true essence of an individual will show through, no matter the gender presentation of that individual.  In my case, my true friends see me as the same person in both male and female modes, although they are sometimes surprised when I show up in the alternate presentation.

- - - - - -

Planning my gender presentation can be a hassle.  For example, I have a book at the library that I want to pick up, and that requires that I show myself in Mario mode.  Yet, RQS and I plan to get a Mani-Pedi this weekend, so I will need to present myself as Marian for my visit to the nail spa.  This is a typical scheduling problem for me, as I have to figure out ways to do some things that require Mario to be present, while I will be out as Marian later in the day.  However, once I'm wearing nail polish, I'm stuck in Marian mode for the better part of a week (or more).

I have other scheduling issues to deal with.  Having a steady relationship with RQS, I do my best to make sure that my weekends are dedicated to being with her.  This has meant that my solo social life has been limited to weekdays.  But this also poses a challenge, as many of my friends are single (or in relationships such as mine) and are still working.  It's not easy to find times where both my friends and I are available to do things in the evening.

Yet, I manage.  I use a color coded calendar to tell me which presentation to use when out for the day.  On days where both Mario and Marian need to show their faces, I make sure that Mario gets the morning shift and Marian gets the evening shift.  Even this isn't perfect.  Sometimes, I need to be Marian in the morning, and Mario in the evening.  So, I try to make sure that I don't have to switch modes more than once in a day, and then only when I'm not wearing nail polish.

As I said - it's hard to plan things when one lives in two gender presentations.

One more night to go....

 

I got my Mani-Pedi, money from the bank, and I'm now almost done with packing for the cruise.  This will be the first cruise I've taken as Marian since my Hawaii trip.  And I'm looking forward to it.  Yet, I will likely NOT get off the ship, as none of the ports protect my right to go out as Marian.

So, why am I taking this cruise?

The answer is relatively simple.  I want to spend some time as Marian and try out a new cruise line at the same time.

Right now, I'm almost packed and ready to go.  I still have to find things such as a lanyard, and water shoes.  But that's about it.  Given the weather that's going to be coming up the coast, I expect that I must be prepared for anything.  One thing I'm sure of is that we're not going North or East.  South is the only practical direction at this time of year.

- - - - - -

Regardless of how well this new cruise line performs, I don't think I'll be a regular customer for their cruises.  This line sails out of New York and Florida (for the most part) for its North American routes, and I've seen enough of the Caribbean to last a lifetime.  If anything, I want to explore sites on the West Coast, something this line doesn't do yet.

The more I vacation as Marian, the less I want to go out as Mario.  Sooner or later, I'll have to do something about my legal ID to make it easier to travel as Marian.  Yes, I've said this before, and I'll say it again. It is very important to me that I be able to travel in any presentation that I see fit to be in.  This is one of the times I "sorta" wish that I still had FCP as a traveling partner.  She'd back me up if I were to go through a port with Mario's ID and got hassled by the local authorities.  But that chapter in my life is in the past, and we no longer are in contact.

- - - - - -

So, instead of making a long post, I'll get back to packing.....

Getting things done at the last moment

 

One more day to go before my cruise, and I figure that I've left too much undone.  Last minute bill paying has yet to be done, and I have yet to visit a nail salon for a Mani-Pedi.  Tomorrow will be the last day that I'll have the chance to take care of these things, so I'd better have a game plan set up to make sure that all of my tasks are completed on time.

This afternoon, I had a couple of tasks to take care of, and only dealt with one of them.  And that was taking a duplicate Amazon delivery to the UPS store for a return credit.  (See previous post for more information.)  The other task, left undone was to go to the nail salon for a Mani-Pedi.  That, along with getting some cash for the cruise and doing some last minute packing must be done as early as possible, as I'll need to be fully rested before an early morning trip to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.

Once done with UPS, I went home and took a nap.  I had forgotten about the chicken in the refrigerator, and ended up stopping at Mickey D's on my way to Game Night.  Although I was late, they made way for me to join in a game, and I did well for a change.  But I was there for one reason - to give two kids their Xmas presents.  And both loved what I bought.  The hostess then brought out a gift for me - a nice bracelet with phosphorescent beads.  Although a little small, I was able to wear it - and may do so on my upcoming cruise.

On the way home, I chatted with RQS.  We're still making our arrangements for next weekend, as we're going to a concert that Sunday night.  Then, the next weekend will be the holiday - and I can't wait to get dressed to the nines with her again....

A short weekend with RQS as Marian

Even though RQS and I were going to spend less time together than what has become usual, this was going to turn out to be a special weekend - we would be getting pedicures together.  Finally, a whole weekend together where I'd be in Marian Mode!

- - - - - -

Unlike the past few weekends that RQS came to visit, she had things to do before getting on the Northbound train to Croton.  Arriving at dinnertime, RQS said that she wanted to eat either Mexican, Indian, or Japanese (Sushi) cuisines.  And the first place I could think of was near the Walmart in Mohegan Lake - Wild Fusion Asian Sushi Bar & Grill.  

Arriving at the restaurant around 6:00 pm, we found that the restaurant was almost empty.  Shortly after being seated, our orders were taken - and then we were forgotten about for a while. Things had changed since I was last here with FCP several years ago.  While waiting, I noticed that the seating area which once existed in front of the sushi bar was now a staging area for to-go and delivery orders. RQS noticed that the restaurant had filled up in the time between our orders were taken and the time our dishes reached the table.  Although we enjoyed the food and would normally eat there again, the slow and inadequate service turned us off from going back anytime soon.

Our next stop was the above mentioned Walmart.  I had lost (or misplaced) my set of keys to RQS's place, and needed a replacement set.  So, I figured that we could stop by the Key cutting kiosk there, and be out in 5 minutes.  Well, RQS forgot her login code for the machine, and we had to recut replacement keys from scratch.  (This time, I saved the key info under my email address, just in case I lose the keys again.) 10 minutes later, we were off to the supermarket to pick up goodies for the next night's dinner.  After our supermarket visit, RQS looked at her seat and noticed something unexpected - the missing set of keys.  At least, I now have 3 sets of keys to her place, one of them on Mario's key chain.  That should be the last time I misplace keys to her place....

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we took our time before going out to get our nails done.  Since RQS has pottery class this coming week, she chose to only get a pedicure.  I chose to get a mani-pedi, and was now committed to going out in the world as Marian for the next week or so. For the next hour or so, we enjoyed being pampered by the ladies at the nail salon.  

Our next stop would bring us across the river, and down to Paramus, NJ.  I wanted to have RQS look at a dress I was interested in, as I wanted to be able to wear it on my upcoming cruise to the Bahamas;  RQS wanted to look at some clothes that would help her refresh her wardrobe.  So, I tried to find the dress that had been in plentiful supply at the Lane Bryant in Pelham, NY, while RQS browsed the store for things she was interested in.  Although I found the dress in an out of the way nook of the store, it was not in my size.  RQS said that she liked the dress, and I made a note to buy it online when it hit my net price point.  RQS found two tops that fit her well.  This was a very productive trip.

And then, it was time to go home for the evening.

- - - - - -

When we got up, RQS said that she was taking me out for brunch.  It was nice to be treated for a change. But neither of us had much energy, and we didn't get to the diner until 1:30 pm.  As we arrived, the heavens opened up, and we waited a little before dashing inside to eat.  Luckily, the rain had eased off by the time we left the diner, and it was back to my apartment to pick up RQS's bags for her return home.  A few minutes later, it was time to go - and this was fortuitous, as there was a (unscheduled?) train waiting to take RQS into Grand Central.  (Later, I'd find that there were floods on the line North of Croton-Harmon.)  Although RQS would get home later than expected, I'll bet that her cat wouldn't leave her alone once she opened the door to her apartment.

Am I dreaming? If so, don't wake me.

 

Lately, I've been writing about the mundane things in life.  After a transgender person gets the courage to go out and about in the world, one's day to day experiences return to being just everyday experiences. Some of these experiences are social, and others are related to the configuration of one's body.  Once these experiences have become common enough, one doesn't think about them much.

Although RQS thinks of me as her boyfriend who likes to dress funny (and I'm comfortable with being this way), she also sees me as someone that she can share typical "girly" experiences with - such as going for a mani-pedi.  After getting used to seeing me present as a female, she has gotten very comfortable with me this way and will occasionally show me subtle public displays of affection.

RQS wants me to keep my male body configuration, and only use prosthetics to create my feminine body shape.  (She doesn't mind me getting electrolysis to remove my facial and body hair.  It's going the next step that bothers her.)  And I can live with that to have a good romantic relationship.  So far, things are going much better than expected.  RQS has suggested that the two of us get made up by a professional, then dress to the nines, and go out somewhere fancy.  This will not happen until after we get back from our cruise.  

Could this be a dream?  If so, I don't want to wake up.

Getting our nails done

 

Today was reserved for a RQS and I to get a Mani-Pedi together, and then to drive her to her home to Queens.  We didn't get moving until mid day, and this didn't cause us any problems.

- - - - - -

After a filling brunch, we decided to go to the nail salon.  This week, I decided to take RQS to a new salon, where RQS was more than happy with the work they did on her fingers and toes.  When something was slightly off, the nail technician (what do you call these ladies?) noticed it, and fixed it without us having to bring it to her attention.  (She wants to go to this salon again soon.)  As we exited, RQS suggested that we go to Carvel - and I opened up the door to Carvel after walking less than 10 feet from the nail salon.  (She didn't know that there was a Carvel next door to the nail salon, and was pleasantly surprised by this coincidence.)

Once we were done with our ice cream, it was time to pick up her stuff and drive her home.  I told her that this would be my last trip to Long Island for a couple of weeks, as traffic will be screwed up on the roads I use to get to her apartment due to the US Open and a NY Mets home stand.. I warned her that if I couldn't find a spot near to her apartment, I would have to drop her off and see her next weekend.  But we were lucky - I found a spot less than a block away.  So we carried her stuff upstairs then went out for a quick bite to eat.

When we were done with dinner, we went back to RQS's place, where we got to cuddle.  At this point I found out a few good things about how things have been going from her perspective, and that she was  more than comfortable with me in both Mario and Marian presentations.  (She has come to enjoy being with me in Marian mode, as she can share even more things with me than she'd expect from a typical boyfriend.)

All too soon, I had to leave.  But I am feeling very good right now....

I'm so tired...

 

This is another quick post....

- - - - - -

To keep my mind from exploding due to boredom, I've actively used an MP3 player to entertain me while I do an almost mindless task.  Today, one Beatles tune comes to mind: "I'm So Tired."  Although this song was written to "document" a different person's exhaustion, it seems to echo what I've been dealing with as of late.

Today, I started work with a bang.  Yet by the time coffee break came, I had no energy and was ready to fall asleep.  I was glad to have no outside events coming up.  But, I had a Zoom meeting with two of my friends from Texas.  And I wish I could have postponed the zoom for another week - something I'm glad I didn't have to do.

By the time my Zoom meeting ended, I was ready to put my head on a pillow and fall asleep - which I did for an hour.  At least, I woke up in time to say goodnight to RQS and remind her of a lobster truck that will be visiting her neighborhood tomorrow.

- - - - - - 

Tomorrow, I will have to remove the nail polish from this Sunday's Mani-Pedi.  I'll have another Zoom with my ex-boss, and then have to run to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions.  AARGH.  Next time, I'll be sure to be able to stay in Marian mode for a full week before I get another manicure....

Another weekend with RQS - Day 3

 

 

Yesterday was a day spent as Mario.  Today was a day spent as Marian.  Who'd have thought that RQS would feel this comfortable with me as Marian?

- - - - - -

As we got up today, we knew that we'd be getting a Mani-Pedi at the same place.  I just wasn't sure of which nail salon we were going to until I remembered a special at one of the shops in town.  So I shaved my face, arms, legs, and the rest of my torso to look nice enough to go out as Marian.  So, around 2:00 pm, it was off to the nail salon in a local strip mall.

When we arrived at the shop, we ended up being asked to come back at 3:00, when staff was coming in for late afternoon appointments.  So it was off to the diner for a quick bite to eat.  While in the parking lot, she grabbed my hand as a PDA.  Did she realize it until I told her?  Who knows?  But I know she is comfortable with me as Marian, though she prefers to see Mario.

We got our meal, and we got back to the salon at 3:00 - and had a nice time as two girlfriends only can.  Yet, she made it clear that she wants to see Mario, and I will gladly comply.  All too soon, it was time to drop RQS off at the station, and for our weekend together to end.

I'm hoping that this will be one of many weekends together that include time as Marian, and maybe a trip or two together with me presenting as a female....

Another Weekend with RQS - Day 2

Today was spent in Mario mode.   

Neither RQS nor I was interested in getting dressed and going outside in the hot weather.  As I've said, I'll always make sure that she has Mario for a male partner.  So we kept ourselves busy by sorting through clothes I had in storage containers, and put half of them into donation bags to go to a local charity when I get around to making a donation.

Once we were done with this task, it was time to go out and brave the weather.  I was envious of RQS, as she could dress much more comfortably than I could for this weather.  So we tried to pick up a pair of trousers from the tailor, but the shop closed 15 minutes before we got there.  It was off to get a bite to eat, and that we did - trying out Smash Burger for the first time.  There's not much more that I can say, save that they make yummy burgers and fries.

On the way home, I jokingly suggested that we go for a Mani-Pedi together.  She thought for a second, and said sure.  Two weekend days as Marian!  Yay!!!!  (What more can a bi-gendered or transgender "boyfriend" want?)  Eventually, we made it back home for the night, and watched TV in air conditioned comfort....

Nails

 

It's been a long while since I've gotten a mani-pedi.  And if things go the way I want this weekend, I will finally be able to do so.  All too often, I've had to deal with the headache of switching back to Mario Mode, and this prevented me from getting my nails done.

- - - - - -

The other day, I was talking with my new travel partner, and we got to talking about people we will meet on our next trip. My new partner wants to catch up with a cousin, while I want to catch up with a friend from Fantasia Fair.  When I contacted this friend, she said that she will appear in "Mermaid Mode".  I have no objections to that, as it will give my partner an idea of what has to be dealt with when being with me.  It's going to be interesting, to say the least.

Last week, FH suggested that we get together this weekend.  I never confirmed anything with her, and the way I feel, I'll be too tired to do much of anything.  After I came home from Game night, it took me an hour to fall asleep, and then I woke up twice - resulting in an interrupted sleep.  I woke up 30 minutes late, then rushed to do all my morning routines so that I could make it to work "on time".  Luckily, I was only a few minutes late, and I was able to stay awake enough to do my job.

Right now, I have weekend plans that haven't been confirmed.  Will I see FH?  I'm not sure.  Will I see CWS?  I hope so.  I'd like to see her now and then until I know what's going to happen with RQS.  Given my transgender nature, it pays to have a (non roached) backup....

Game Night

 

Whenever I go to game night, I try to avoid looking like a slob. But these days, I also try not to overdress. So I dress for game night the same way I go to work - casual.  Casual for me does not mean wearing jeans. As a male, I'd wear chinos.  As a female, I usually wear tunics and leggings.  Having switched to tunics and leggings has made it much easier to make my way in the world as a female.

Some of us from game night are going to see Al Franken in Tarrytown.  (By the time you read this, seeing Al Franken will be past tense.)  None of us know what to expect.  Will he be serious, or will he put on an act?  I would prefer that he be serious, but he will be entertaining no matter what.  Assuming the weather is nice, I plan to go as Marian, as that is the only way that people from game night know me.

Assuming I have the day "to myself" beforehand, I might go to church in-person, something I haven't done since before the pandemic.  In the two years that have passed, the church I have gone to has merged with a nearby church, and February services are being held at the nearby church.  Since this will be the first time I'll be going there, I'll be a little bit nervous.  But if I was accepted at the original church, I'll have a couple of people who remember me from there who can make me feel comfortable.  Afterwards, I plan to get a mani-pedi, so I can look my best before meeting up in Tarrytown.

Will I look as snappy as the characters in the cartoon above?  No.  But I will feel good about how I look, and that's the key thing...