Getting a ceiling repaired - The saga has ended.

 

Yesterday, I woke up to "construction noise" coming from downstairs.  The hole made for the plumbing repair was being fixed - a little under 3 weeks from the water damage from my apartment.  And I'm glad this saga has ended.  Based on the message below, I'm sure that my neighbor is happy with our response.

Good Evening

Just want to let you know that the work in our bathroom was completed today. Everything worked out well. Manny did a very nice job. He sheetrocked and painted and it all looks great. He also was very neat and left no mess when he was finished.

We are very happy with the result. Thank you for your part in getting this done.

As a co-op board member, it's a nice feeling to receive a thank you message from someone whose apartment was damaged on New Year's Eve.  It's important that any co-op board takes property maintenance and repair seriously, as this is one of the first things that people notice.

Hopefully, we will soon get to address other issues on our check list, as it's important that we show a record of accomplishments that we can justify our actions to our shareholders. 

Today, I got half of the things on my checklist done.

 

Today's post is a quick one.

Lately, I've been chatting a lot with RQS, and she's enjoying my mouth run as if it is Niagara Falls.  This is a good sign, as she knows about my life as Marian and is intrigued about it.  So I tend to budget time for these phone calls towards the end of the evening, so that I can get other things done....

Tonight, I had to rush home to make it to a Zoom Webinar to train us in the specifics of Fair Housing Laws that co-op boards must obey in Westchester county.  As expected, they covered the limitations put up on co-op boards to insure that every possible tenant has a fair opportunity to rent/sublet/buy an apartment in Westchester.  Unfortunately, they provide too much protection for the tenant, and not enough for the property owner.  And that is a major annoyance to most of the co-op boards in this state.

When the meeting ended, I got on the line with RQS, and chatted for the better part of 2 hours.  This reminds me of the early days of dating my late wife.  It's not love yet.  And it's not at the state where I think about her every day.  But it's a good start.

But why did I mention my checklist?

Most of the time, I have a 20 item checklist, and only do about 1/3 of those items. Today, I broke the 50% level, and had enough time to start filling out an application for employment with New York State. Assuming that I get the job, I expect that I'll be in the workforce for another 2 years or so.  But I will need time to take a Hawaii cruise at year end - and I won't cancel that to work for the state.

I plan to add this application to tomorrow's checklist, as I don't plan on finishing the application tonight. Many things stay on the checklist in one form or another, as I neither complete them, nor get movement towards completing them.  Yet, there's one task that I must give a higher priority - cleaning the apartment.  Not only do I need my cleaning lady back doing her magic, but I want this place clean enough to have people over again. 

Keep your fingers crossed for me....

Conversations with two people.

 

Recently, I had a couple of conversations that I found very interesting.  The first was with my brother, as we discussed our mutual past, current family issues, and how to protect our assets.  The other with the newest member of our co-op board, where I outed myself to her and, discussed issues related to our co-op, and pleasantries regarding her father, grandfather, and great grandfather.

As I've mentioned before, my brother and I own a house we rent out to the best of tenants.  Hopefully, they will stay our tenants for a long time, as this income is a blessing to have in uncertain times.  Given that there is some maintenance that has been needed for a couple of years, we decided to take care of it before the weather gets cold.  Once done talking about the house, we talked about our past, and I found that I didn't remember that my brother was in the car when I was taken to therapy as a child.  I told him that I wish I could have given the notes from childhood therapy to my adult therapist.  And he responded that my dad wanted to protect me from what I might see.  Unfortunately, it should have been up to me to decide what happened to this information, and I wasn't given the chance to do so.  This is the one complaint I have about my father.  Eventually, we talked about his family and what he plans to do with his assets in his will.  (I won't go into those details here.)  Suffice it to say that I'd do the same things given his circumstances.

Once I was ready to go out, I stumbled into the new co-op board member.  We discussed an important issue that the co-op must deal with, and we agreed on the scope of the issue.  Hopefully, she will help me convince the other members of the board that this is an issue that can not be put off much longer. Next, we discussed family issues, and I mentioned some things about the recent past.  Specifically, that I saw her grandfather getting around on his scooter - and that I was happy that he was still active in his business.  Given that the co-op board knows of my transgender nature, I opened up to her - and she said that I looked good as Marian.  She couldn't believe it was me in the picture.  This way, if I come into a zoom meeting a little bit late, she won't get shocked at my appearance.

On the whole, I'm happy about these conversations, as it allowed for certain things to be said that needed to be said.  There was no hinting or guessing at what the other person meant.  These were some of the most effective chats I've had in a while.  And I'm very glad that I took the time out to have these chats....

I wonder when this problem will be completely resolved.

I have to be careful in discussing this problem, as I am a member of the co-op's board of directors, and do not want to reveal any of the internal workings of the board.

- - - - - -

A few years back, we had a contractor erect a retaining wall to secure the land one of our buildings sits on. Once one of these walls is erected, most people take it for granted as it becomes part of the landscape. However, this is a big mistake.  People have been killed because retaining walls have failed.  In New York City, retaining walls should be inspected every 5 years by a licensed professional if they have a portion over 10 feet in height, or they face a public right of way.  If this had been done for one wall, it would likely have been repaired before failure, and Northbound traffic on the Henry Hudson Parkway below would not have been affected.

In our case, I feel that the remaining part of our retaining wall has to be replaced. This will likely add to our costs in keeping our land from eroding from under our building.  This is a critical repair, and contractors will need to work up bids for our co-op.  This takes time, as the costs of labor and material availability must factored into the total price, so that the contractor can make a profit. But there is a cost of regulation that also has to be factored into the price.  Regulations often imply "best practices" which many unlicensed firms ignore.  Given that board members act in a fiduciary capacity for a co-op, we need to make the best choice of contractor, the best choice of retaining wall options, and the best value for money spent.  The latter may be the most important consideration, as our co-op errs on the side of frugality.

Later in the morning, I did some research and sent an email with the following text to our board:

I did a search for information regarding retaining walls, and came up with this important piece of info.. New York City now requires all retaining walls that extend upwards of 10 feet OR are adjacent to a right of way to be inspected every 5 years. This was in response to the retaining wall collapse that caused the shutdown of the northbound lanes of the Henry Hudson Parkway in 2005.(?)  However, there is not much regulation outside NYC, and most of that seems to regard decorative walls and permits. 

Since our managing agent's site representative is supposed to do a walk through of the property on a periodic basis, would this imply that proper eyeball inspections of the wall had not been done, and would it also imply that needed licensed inspectors should have been periodically used to inspect this critical part of the co-op's physical infrastructure?

I feel that "Best Practices" should always be used by managing agents in the course of business.  Once NYC established a 5 year cycle for inspection, wouldn't this define a "Best Practice" for our managing agent to see that our retaining wall is inspected on a regular basis?  I would hope so.

More to come as things become public....
 

 

Scheduling My Life

Most of my life these days depends on a schedule I make online.  I use one color for my events which I must attend as Mario, and one color for my events that I must attend as Marian.  And I've considered using a third color for events I can attend in either mode.  Things are complicated, but not as much so as when I was working full time as Mario.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I have met other transgender people (like Fran) that while living lives split between male and female presentations, they have had an almost impossible time keeping their male and female lives separate.  Living as one gender made things many times easier, as in the case of Fran, when she finally chose to be "out" to the world.

I am not yet at that stage, and I might not ever get there due to the priorities in my life.  I'd rather have a romantic relationship which limits my ability to live life fully in my preferred gender than to live as Marian 24x7. (Too bad my most recent relationship didn't understand this.)  Not many people want to be alone towards the end of their days.  And when that time comes for me, I hope I will have someone by my side.  But if I don't, I intend to live my life "My Way" and not how others think I should live it.

- - - - - -

Right now, I'm trying to live as much of my life as possible as Marian. I am making a choice to go to work as Marian while at the Census Bureau, so that I can have as much of my life in a female presentation as possible.  I do not have to rush home after work on a weeknight to strip off my male clothes, apply my makeup, put on a dress and jewelry, and rush out the door to my next destination.  I'd only have to be in a male presentation to see my doctor, and then I'd be close enough to work to change into female presentation for a half day as Marian. And in the opposite direction, I could strip off my female presentation, get dressed as a male, then out the door to see whoever I need to see in that mode.  But most of the days, I would not have to be "half and half".

Unlike Fran, I don't want to get caught being in one mode when expected to be in another mode.  So I have to schedule my life to require the minimum number of intra-day presentation changes as possible  And for now, I think I can do this without much trouble.  But anything can change - it all depends on the demands of my schedule....

I really didn't need to do a "half and half day" today

Today's entry will be a short one.  There were only two things on my docket and I don't have too much to say about either one of them.

- - - - - -

The first thing I had to take care of today was to get my fingerprints taken for Census Bureau employment.  Since the paperwork said that my photo might be taken, I decided to go to New Rochelle in my female presentation.  It took me a while to find the room where fingerprinting was being done and found out that the photo wasn't being taken at the moment.  So I chatted with the fellow for a few minutes, and then drove home in the rain.

When I got home, I relaxed for a little while, then changed into a masculine presentation. Around 3 pm, I walked to our co-op's "board room" and attended the business half of the meeting.  When we were done there, we adjourned to a nearby restaurant for our end-of-year dinner meeting.  This was a very pleasant gathering, and likely the last board meeting I can guarantee that I'll be there for.

Around 9 pm, I returned home to find an email from the Census Bureau in my mail box.  They forwarded me the forms I'd need to fill out before I can be onboarded.  It looks more and more likely that I'll be employed soon, working as Marian.  I can't wait!  (I only wonder what GFJ will say when I tell her the news.)

Lunch with my Ex-Boss

Today I had two things on my docket, and both of them had to be done in my male presentation.  First was lunch with my Ex-Boss, and then my monthly Co-Op Board meeting. And I was wishing that I could have put on a dress and gone to a museum....

- - - - - -

Normally, I don't fully wake up until sometime between 8:30 and 10:00.  Today, my journey to full consciousness started a little before 10:00, and I wasn't really moving until 10:30.  This gave me about 2 hours to get dressed (as Mario), pick up my iPad (with its new battery), then drive to Rockland County to meet my ex-boss.  And I barely accomplished all this in time.

Lunch with my ex-boss is always interesting, as we talk about the past, present and future.  The past is usually business talk, and today was no different than usual.  But today, I had job interviews to tell him about (without mention of going as Marian).  And this was pleasant news to relate. Then we got into our usual political conversation - and we both have the same fears about the present and future.  Neither of us like our president, and we both have concerns about what would happen if he stays in office, or is replaced by the vice president.  We can't wait until 11/03/20, when we can exercise our right to vote....

Since we were expecting winter weather, we ended lunch a little earlier than usual.  Luckily, none of the bad weather arrived before I started my drive home.  And I was inside my apartment before 4:00.  This gave me enough time to take care of some things and get ready for the co-op board meeting.

As usual, I won't go into details about the board meeting.  But, compared with this time last year, everything was better than we expected.  Everything was in order, and we were very happy with the way things had developed over the past year.  Yes, there are some headaches that we (and other co-op boards) need to address because of New York State law changes that took place this summer.  But we can now give them the proper thought required, an effort that would have been impossible at this time last year.

Half and Half - It's not just a dairy product

Long before my most recent cruise, I scheduled both lunch as Marian and a Co-Op board meeting as Mario.  This was going to be a busy day, as I had to prepare myself to go out as Marian, then change into Mario - all before 5:00 pm.  However, things changed when I received a message from my lunch date that she couldn't make it today - she had a basement flood to take care of, and would be waiting for her plumber to come during the day.

So I was now free until 5:00 pm.  What should I do?

Yesterday, I started cleaning out some of the clutter in my bedroom.  Since my cleaning lady is expected to be here on Thursday, I figured that I'd stay in Mario Mode for the day.  (I'd have rather gone out for lunch as Marian, but one has to adapt to changing times.) So I cleaned up a little more of the mess I had in my bedroom during the afternoon.

Around 4:00, I started to get ready for my co-op board meeting.  This was an event that I always attend as Mario.  (I'll admit, that if we were to call a second meeting for the month for reasons I won't go into here, I'd have mentioned that I'd consider attending as Marian.  That would have shut down the calls for a second meeting.)  Luckily, there was only good news to report - all was well with our financial status, and we're in much better shape than I thought we'd be in about a year ago. (I can't go into any more detail than that.)  Just before the meeting ended, HWV said for me to call her after she got home.  HWV wanted to see what my availability was for Hudson Valley Restaurant Week, and suggested that we go for dinner.

Later on, I finally got the chance to talk with GFJ.  She's home after a long weekend in North Carolina, and she's getting back to the daily grind again....