Looking back at a long Christmas Weekend

 

RQS and I have talked about going to church together for a while.  With her, I think it's a form of curiosity about where I came from, and with me, it's a form of gaining comfort from old rituals from childhood.  So I was pleasantly surprised when she said "Yes" to going to Christmas Eve services.

But first....

It's been a while since I've been to RQS's place, so it was my turn to go to her place on Friday. Considering the frigid weather we were expecting, I didn't want to leave my car at Cortlandt station and have the engine fail to turn over when we got back there on Saturday.  The weather made my mind up for me - take a cab to Croton Harmon, and then take the train into NYC from there.  As usual, getting a cab wasn't as easy as it was before the pandemic, as no one was answering the cab service's main number.  I was lucky to find an alternate number, and then get my ride to the station.

Once at Croton Harmon, I found that I missed my train. There was a lady sitting next to me, and I chatted her up to kill time.  Seems like her Amtrak train to NYP was delayed for several hours, and that she was stuck waiting for it, as she had a linked connection to Boston.  If she took Metro North to GCT, then the subway to NYP, her second trip would be cancelled.  Hopefully, her daughter was able to make the itinerary change for her, as waiting for the tracks to get cleared between Poughkeepsie and Peekskill might take several hours more.

On the way to NYC, I saw the above "ship," and was unable to identify its purpose.  A couple of people identified it as a dredge.  But why is it being held above the water line?  Do any of my readers have an idea of what this is?

It's always a pain taking the subway to RQS's neighborhood, and on this trip it was no different.  When I got off the subway to take the bus to her place.  Boy, did I hate standing in the sub-freezing weather for the bus.  Once there, it was in for the night, and dinner came from a neighborhood pizza parlor.

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The next day, we trekked back up to my place, so that I could pick up a cheesecake from a local bakery. It was a much nicer trip going North, than it was going South.  However, I still had a minor problem getting a taxi to take us home to drop off our bags.  Usually, there is at least one cab waiting at Croton Harmon when trains come in.  This time, we had to wait about 20 minutes - and then, the driver had car problems.  AARGH!

Our next stop, after a pause for a bio-break was Homestyle Desserts in Peekskill for the Cheesecake.  This place has been here longer than I've lived in the area, and it is still going strong.  I was glad not to have left the car at the train station, as I had to clean ice off the car before driving it the 5  miles to the bakery.  After a quick stop at the bakery, then a stop at the local supermarket, we were home for a couple of hours.  Although it was tempting to stay warm and stay home, I changed into Marian mode and we went to church together.

People at the church know me only as Marian, and that's how I want them to know me.  I present as a tall, heavy 65 y/o woman, and want to be treated as such.  RQS was pleasantly surprised that this church experience was very similar to that she experienced as a child.  I chuckled that my mother would have mixed feelings about me going to church as Marian - she'd be glad to see me in a church, but be perplexed to see me as Marian.

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Christmas was special - this was the first one that RQS and I spent together, and the first one that she spent with my family.  After opening our gifts at home, we got ready to go to Long Island to my brother's place.  (I'm always in Mario mode for that.)  On the way down, I picked up a last minute gift for my step nephew.  None of us think much of him, as he's wasted his life.  But it would be a shame NOT to include him in the gift giving that took place that day.  (Thank god for Dunkin Donuts' gift cards and for CVS being open on Xmas.)  Traffic moved quickly, and we were at my brother's place in 90 minutes.  The gift exchange took place shortly after we arrived, and my brother gave me a gift for which I'll have a hard time finding a place - the Marx Brothers' Movie Poster (reproduction) above.  He loves finding things on action sites, and I'm pretty sure that he knew of my love for the Marxes' movies.  

We were at my brother's place for a few hours, and made plans to see my niece and her husband in NYC this week.  It'll be nice to see them again without other family members being present, and it will be nice for RQS to get to know them better.

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Boxing Day was one of relaxation.  However, we decided to make an unannounced run to Pat's place to take her out to dinner.  As usual, things aren't always as expected when seeing her.  She has latched onto the one available man at the care facility, and made sure to invite him to dine with us.  So RQS and I cleaned out my car to make the back seats available for 2 passengers, then met them at her place.  Pat suggested that we eat at a place that I was unprepared to pay for.  (I could afford pizza and beer for 4 people, but not a white linen tablecloth dinner for 4.)  So I headed to a local pizza parlor (not the place she wanted) and we had a nice dinner for a very affordable price.

After dropping Pat and her friend back at her place, it was time to go home.  As usual, the Tappan Zee was jammed, so we crossed at Bear Mountain.  And then it was time for bed.....

A visit to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

 

Although FH and I will never be romantic partners, we still get together now and then to be activity partners.  There is enough about her that I like to enjoy an occasional day trip somewhere, but not enough that I'd want to have her as a partner for either 30 minutes or the other 23 hours and 30 minutes of the day. Today was one of those days that we ended up going to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden (BBG).

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If I were going to BBG on my own, I'd have taken the train into NYC, then caught either of the #4 or #5 trains to BBG.  Instead, I had to pick FH up, as she never takes the subway these days.  (She was surprised that I now ride the subways, 2 years since everything shut down for the pandemic.)  Driving between Forest Hills and the heart of Brooklyn takes forever, as none of the roads go from here to there without major traffic jams.  For a 9 mile trip as the crow flies, Google Maps said it would take 45 minutes - an average of 12 mph!  No wonder why I hate driving within NYC limits....

We got to BBG around 2 pm, and proceeded to walk around the garden.  FH, as usual, wanted a photographic record of her presence at the place, asking me to take pictures of her at several places along the paths.  I don't mind doing this, but it gets tiresome after a while.  

The thing that I dislike about FH the most is her self centered/ethno-centeric attitude about life in general.  For example, I am disgusted that the Nazis killed 11 people during the Holocaust. To me, murder is murder, no matter what the justifications are for doing so. She focuses on the 6 million Jews, and effectively says that they are more important than the other 5 million because she's Jewish.  FH also focuses on my ethnic background, and not how I identify myself.  This would bother me to no end if I were in a relationship with her.  Yet, I can tolerate it in small doses as a friend.  

Sadly, FH is not able to see things from others' point of view.  When we took a break to sit down and have a soda, our conversation meandered to the Coney Island Sideshow.  Her thoughts on the issue are that people with birth defects should never put themselves on public display to get by in life, such as the performers in sideshows.  She would put them on the dole and keep them out of sight.  I have nothing against those who would accept public assistance, but I respect the likes of those who would earn a living by showing off how they adapted to a world built for people unlike them.  She couldn't understand why people would put themselves in the public eye. as if they were embarrassing themselves.  As I noted that people such as Johnny Eck didn't feel this way, the lady at the next table mentioned a string of people who made their living this way, as if she was disgusted with FH's attitude.  I guess that more people have my attitude towards these people than FH's attitude.

Around 4 pm, we left BBG and took the long way to Howard Beach to have dinner.  Given that I remembered that there used to be quite a few restaurants along this stretch of road, we headed South. Somewhere on the left, I saw a restaurant on the left that looked like there might be a line at 5 pm.  FH nixed it because she didn't want to risk waiting on line. (I remember Lenny's advertisements from 40 years ago.  So the place had to be decent to survive this long.  And, at 5 pm, any line would be short.  But I digress.)  We found an Italian joint somewhere just before Cross Bay Boulevard reached the toll bridge, and pulled in for dinner.  To me, the food tasted good, save for the tomato sauce which may have simmered too long.  FH, however, thought it was less than good.  So it will be another of those places we never go to again.

On the way home, FH asked me to be her +1 for a wedding she was attending next month.  I wasn't going to answer yes right away, as I wanted to make sure that I didn't have any conflicts with RQS.  (I'll always put my relationship with RQS first, over that of my female friends.)  Hopefully, I'll be able to go - even if it means I spend another day as Mario....

 

 

PS: After thinking about it, I was glad to turn down FH's "plus 1" request.  I would know only her, and I would be uncomfortable at a wedding where I wouldn't know what is going on next.  She was upset at me for not responding to her as soon as she told me the date was Memorial Day weekend.  But then, she is a bossy type who has trouble when she can't manipulate people as she wants....

Dinner with another friend

 

Even though I still am in contact with an ex, I don't say everything about what I do to her, and the same with her not saying everything to me.  She won last year's battle, but at a great cost to both of us.  And I think that cost is trust in the other person's motives.  

Why do I bring up the past, even in passing?

My air conditioner sleeve was being reset today, so that water condensate would drain outside instead of inside.  The ex made a comment (very true) regarding my use of the air conditioner and its use to me.  It is one of the things we can safely talk about without dredging up uncomfortable topics.  Since we got off on the wrong foot after our breakup when I talked about dating again, I don't want to talk about any of my dates with her.  Even then, I brought up FH, as this was another woman who left me with a sour taste in my mouth.

I've been chatting with a woman in New Jersey for a while, and it is time to see her in person.  Hopefully, we will get along in person over time as well as we've been getting along on the phone.  It is not the time to mention this to the ex, but not because she would object.  Instead, I would rather wait until I have a new relationship before mentioning it to the past one.  No, not to rub things in.  Instead, as part of a healing process we both need to go through.

- - - - - -

Contractor personnel was on site early in the day, and I had to let them into the place to get an idea of what they would need to do in the afternoon.  Starting around 1:15 or so, they were done with inside work around 3:15 or so, but were still working on the outside of the building after 4:45.  I can only guess what contractor will be charging for this work.  And when I do find out, I won't be mentioning it here, as this is between only the board and the contractor.

Back to the dinner....

We had agreed on a Chinese restaurant that I had gone to before.  When I got there, I found that it was open - but not for dining in.  So when my date arrived, we had to punt.  Instead of having Chinese again (I had eaten at a local Chinese joint the day before), we decided to eat at the Pizzeria next door.  Although the place was noisy, the food was good and the conversation was pleasant.  Afterwards, it was dessert at an ice cream shop down the road - another place I knew of because of TCL.

We'll see what happens with this woman.  She has a nice personality, but I'm not so sure if I'm attracted enough to get physical with her.  (And of course, I still have to reveal Marian to her....)