And now, on to happier things...

 

As much as I'd like to show my readers a picture of RQS smiling in this blog, I will not do so because of what once happened with someone who once was a close friend.  However, RQS would not have cruised with me in Marian Mode, had she not been comfortable with me in both gender presentations.

- - - - - -

Soon, we will be booking another cruise.  And again, we will be traveling as two women.  Assuming we take the cruise I'm planning to book, we will not even bother getting off the cruise ship.  My rights will not be protected in Florida, nor will they be protected in the Bahamas.  So, the safest place for me to be will be onboard. This is OK with the two of us.

We have booked a nice Thanksgiving dinner at a nice place.  It's not the place where we originally wanted to go.  But it is affordable, and it is a place we've wanted to try for a while.  I've already bought RQS one of her Xmas gifts, and will soon buy her another to be opened on the holiday.  However, it'll be the cruise that she'll remember most of all - my gift to her.

- - - - - -

RQS has become a member of my family for all practical purposes.  I feel very lucky that this has happened.  But who knew that 5 years after breaking up with XGFJ that I'd be with someone who accepts my transgender nature?  Yes, that period in my life hurt.  Yet, it forced me to become more independent, making myself ready to make the sacrifices needed to have a caring partner in life....

Getting things done at the last moment

 

One more day to go before my cruise, and I figure that I've left too much undone.  Last minute bill paying has yet to be done, and I have yet to visit a nail salon for a Mani-Pedi.  Tomorrow will be the last day that I'll have the chance to take care of these things, so I'd better have a game plan set up to make sure that all of my tasks are completed on time.

This afternoon, I had a couple of tasks to take care of, and only dealt with one of them.  And that was taking a duplicate Amazon delivery to the UPS store for a return credit.  (See previous post for more information.)  The other task, left undone was to go to the nail salon for a Mani-Pedi.  That, along with getting some cash for the cruise and doing some last minute packing must be done as early as possible, as I'll need to be fully rested before an early morning trip to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.

Once done with UPS, I went home and took a nap.  I had forgotten about the chicken in the refrigerator, and ended up stopping at Mickey D's on my way to Game Night.  Although I was late, they made way for me to join in a game, and I did well for a change.  But I was there for one reason - to give two kids their Xmas presents.  And both loved what I bought.  The hostess then brought out a gift for me - a nice bracelet with phosphorescent beads.  Although a little small, I was able to wear it - and may do so on my upcoming cruise.

On the way home, I chatted with RQS.  We're still making our arrangements for next weekend, as we're going to a concert that Sunday night.  Then, the next weekend will be the holiday - and I can't wait to get dressed to the nines with her again....

Looking back at a long Christmas Weekend

 

RQS and I have talked about going to church together for a while.  With her, I think it's a form of curiosity about where I came from, and with me, it's a form of gaining comfort from old rituals from childhood.  So I was pleasantly surprised when she said "Yes" to going to Christmas Eve services.

But first....

It's been a while since I've been to RQS's place, so it was my turn to go to her place on Friday. Considering the frigid weather we were expecting, I didn't want to leave my car at Cortlandt station and have the engine fail to turn over when we got back there on Saturday.  The weather made my mind up for me - take a cab to Croton Harmon, and then take the train into NYC from there.  As usual, getting a cab wasn't as easy as it was before the pandemic, as no one was answering the cab service's main number.  I was lucky to find an alternate number, and then get my ride to the station.

Once at Croton Harmon, I found that I missed my train. There was a lady sitting next to me, and I chatted her up to kill time.  Seems like her Amtrak train to NYP was delayed for several hours, and that she was stuck waiting for it, as she had a linked connection to Boston.  If she took Metro North to GCT, then the subway to NYP, her second trip would be cancelled.  Hopefully, her daughter was able to make the itinerary change for her, as waiting for the tracks to get cleared between Poughkeepsie and Peekskill might take several hours more.

On the way to NYC, I saw the above "ship," and was unable to identify its purpose.  A couple of people identified it as a dredge.  But why is it being held above the water line?  Do any of my readers have an idea of what this is?

It's always a pain taking the subway to RQS's neighborhood, and on this trip it was no different.  When I got off the subway to take the bus to her place.  Boy, did I hate standing in the sub-freezing weather for the bus.  Once there, it was in for the night, and dinner came from a neighborhood pizza parlor.

- - - - - -

The next day, we trekked back up to my place, so that I could pick up a cheesecake from a local bakery. It was a much nicer trip going North, than it was going South.  However, I still had a minor problem getting a taxi to take us home to drop off our bags.  Usually, there is at least one cab waiting at Croton Harmon when trains come in.  This time, we had to wait about 20 minutes - and then, the driver had car problems.  AARGH!

Our next stop, after a pause for a bio-break was Homestyle Desserts in Peekskill for the Cheesecake.  This place has been here longer than I've lived in the area, and it is still going strong.  I was glad not to have left the car at the train station, as I had to clean ice off the car before driving it the 5  miles to the bakery.  After a quick stop at the bakery, then a stop at the local supermarket, we were home for a couple of hours.  Although it was tempting to stay warm and stay home, I changed into Marian mode and we went to church together.

People at the church know me only as Marian, and that's how I want them to know me.  I present as a tall, heavy 65 y/o woman, and want to be treated as such.  RQS was pleasantly surprised that this church experience was very similar to that she experienced as a child.  I chuckled that my mother would have mixed feelings about me going to church as Marian - she'd be glad to see me in a church, but be perplexed to see me as Marian.

- - - - - -

Christmas was special - this was the first one that RQS and I spent together, and the first one that she spent with my family.  After opening our gifts at home, we got ready to go to Long Island to my brother's place.  (I'm always in Mario mode for that.)  On the way down, I picked up a last minute gift for my step nephew.  None of us think much of him, as he's wasted his life.  But it would be a shame NOT to include him in the gift giving that took place that day.  (Thank god for Dunkin Donuts' gift cards and for CVS being open on Xmas.)  Traffic moved quickly, and we were at my brother's place in 90 minutes.  The gift exchange took place shortly after we arrived, and my brother gave me a gift for which I'll have a hard time finding a place - the Marx Brothers' Movie Poster (reproduction) above.  He loves finding things on action sites, and I'm pretty sure that he knew of my love for the Marxes' movies.  

We were at my brother's place for a few hours, and made plans to see my niece and her husband in NYC this week.  It'll be nice to see them again without other family members being present, and it will be nice for RQS to get to know them better.

- - - - - -

Boxing Day was one of relaxation.  However, we decided to make an unannounced run to Pat's place to take her out to dinner.  As usual, things aren't always as expected when seeing her.  She has latched onto the one available man at the care facility, and made sure to invite him to dine with us.  So RQS and I cleaned out my car to make the back seats available for 2 passengers, then met them at her place.  Pat suggested that we eat at a place that I was unprepared to pay for.  (I could afford pizza and beer for 4 people, but not a white linen tablecloth dinner for 4.)  So I headed to a local pizza parlor (not the place she wanted) and we had a nice dinner for a very affordable price.

After dropping Pat and her friend back at her place, it was time to go home.  As usual, the Tappan Zee was jammed, so we crossed at Bear Mountain.  And then it was time for bed.....

RQS and I will be missing each other

 

Normally, I feel good for a while after RQS leaves at the end of the weekend.  However, this would be the last time we will see each other for about 3 weeks.  I'll be flying out to Hawaii for 11 days, while she will be visiting family in the South for a long weekend.   

- - - - - -

As I write this post, I will likely have returned from my Hawaii trip.  So we will be in the run up to Xmas, where we will be seeing family and friends.  I still have to find another gift to buy her, and she appreciates my frugality in finding a gift that will both bring her happiness whenever she sees/uses it and is something she'd consider good value.

Today, we ended up doing a simple shopping trip to Walmart, followed by a visit to a home furnishings store to get small gifts for my niece & husband, and for my nephew.  All 3 got mugs, as they will be easy to pack for their return trips back home.  Then, it was off to the nearby T-Mobile store to check on whether my plan is the Magenta Max plan.  It wasn't, so the store employee graciously changed my plan to give me greater value for the same price. (I'll now get free Wi-Fi on airplanes due to a new T-Mobile promotion.)  

Once we were finally done with stores, it was off to get a bite to eat.  As much as I prefer Burger King to McDonald's, I might have chosen the latter because of the woman manning the counter.  She could not operate the cash register, nor could she count how much money to give me in change from a $20 bill.  I was a little annoyed, but realized that fast food joints are now scraping the bottom of the employment pool and this woman was typical of the prospective employees left in the employment pool.

After finishing our burgers, I dropped her off at the train station.  Neither of us wanted to separate from each other, and the shortness of this week's visit made our parting a little sadder than usual.  Hopefully, we will feel equally as uplifted when we are together again....

Now, I have an idea of what to give two kids for Xmas

Every year, I've bought something for the two children of my game night hosts.  This year is the same, except that I have much less time to do so due to my upcoming trip to Hawaii.  Yet, I have an idea of what to give them now, and will be ordering their gifts before the holidays.

It's nice to have people to whom I give gifts, to share with.  I had an insurance policy from a fraternal benefit society which wouldn't allow me to designate these two children the secondary beneficiaries of this policy.  So I'll look to leave these kids a little something in my will, and hope that nothing happens to me anytime soon.

- - - - - -

My year-end Hawaii trip keeps coming nearer and nearer.  And I'm looking forward to it.  I have to make sure that I have all the little things needed for this trip, and have been an active customer of Amazon since the day I was irrevocably financially committed to this trip. Since this is a bucket list trip, I will be sure to get lots of photos of the trip and make some sort of travelog for it.

Although I intend to travel with RQS, I have a good feeling that it will be hard for her to keep up with me due to financial reasons. This is a reasonable believe, based on our previous careers.  So, if I'm going to be doing a bit of travel, I will need a profitable line of business to pay for it.  I have some ideas of how I will achieve this, but will avoid talking about it for now.

By the end of the year, I will have taken two bucket list trips, and plan to take more in the next few years.  Having checked off Alaska and Hawaii, I'll have to go much further afield for my next bucket list trip.  I'm hoping that I can check off more than one of my destinations with one trip.  But this takes time and money.  For example, there is a cruise that will spend 6 days in Iceland, plus several more days in the Norwegian Fjords.  One problem: This is one expensive 35 day cruise!  So I will likely need to be more realistic in how I check off items on my bucket list.  I could spend a week in London with my niece, then sail back to New York on the Queen Mary 2.  This is expensive, but a realistic way to do things.

Hopefully, by this time next year, I will be able to check off another item on my bucket list.

 

I never left the apartment, but my day got better when night came.

 

I didn't leave my apartment building all day, as I didn't even bother getting out of my Jammies until I had a Zoom meeting to go to.  Yes, I could have done much more during the day, but I was in no mood to bother showering, shaving, and getting dressed.  And this suited me just fine.

As has become a custom lately, I didn't go to sleep until the sun started to rise. And I didn't get up until more than half the sunlight hours had gone by the wayside. Not having much that needed to be done right away, I proceeded to relax in bed and watch TV all day.  Sometime in mid afternoon, there was a knocking on my door.  Not wearing anything but a slip, I was not going to answer the door.  Later on, I found out that our managing agent had left me a small token of appreciation - some Almond Nougat.  Yum!  I could easily ruin my blood sugar levels by finishing this gift in one night.  But I didn't.

At this point, I was up and moving, so I figured that I'd change into the oversized T-Shirt type garment (above) that I usually use for lounging around and to sleep. It's not a pretty garment, but it is comfortable.  And the next time I need to buy hosiery from this site, I will buy another one of these garments in a different color.

Now that I changed into this garment, it was time to do a quick make up job to make my face presentable as Marian.  And then I logged into the Zoom meetup.  After a couple of hours, it was just me and my friend who used to live in New York - and we gabbed for a couple of hours.  During our chat, we noted that both of us would likely be good travel companions.  However, I mentioned that I only wish that we both liked women, or that one of us were of the opposite sex.  (Little does she know the equipment I was born with.)  Even though 14 years separates us in age, I wish I could have met her as Mario.  Heck, I wish I could reveal myself to her for who and what I am, and see if things could work.  But I'd rather have this woman as a friend, than to place a extremely low probability bet on romance.  

Once the Zoom meetup was over, I decided to walk downstairs to my mailbox as I was, and get my mail.  Apart from an electric bill, I found a package addressed to me as Marian.  What could this package be?  It seems like a woman I am friends with from my gaming group saw the oven mitt (at the top of this entry) and thought of me.  She is another woman, that in another time and another place, that I'd consider dating.  But she is married (I also like this fellow quite a bit), and I know that she appreciates my friendship.   Here is another friendship I wouldn't have if I were living my life primarily as Mario.

I don't think that some of my acquaintances will ever understand why I prefer being Marian over being Mario.  As I like to think about it, women have closer friendships - most men are always suspect in their motives.  Assuming this is true, it's a damn shame that biology and social systems isolate the male of our species - we could do much better if the two genders had more in common than we have right now....

 

Christmas Eve started with an unwanted conversation.

I knew today was going to be a little strange from the moment I checked my first emails.  There was a message from a friend telling me that our links on social media were being severed.  Without any explanation, it felt like a slap in the face.  Did I do something wrong?

- - - - - -

We've all had to learn our way around social media.  Although I won't go into any of the "Who, What, Which, Where, When, of How" of it, I can say that the email conversation that followed from the earlier message made me feel a little better - the issues were on the friend's side and not mine. But what if a person just dropped a bombshell like this on you and gave you no clue in follow up conversation.  How would you feel?

Our children are confronted with this and other social media issues every day.  Social media is used and abused.  It is both a news source about our friends and about the world as a whole.  And there is a lot of misinformation being spread which is meant to hurt people.  Due to the nature of tools like Facebook, slander can be spread instantaneously without the person being slandered having a clue to what is happening. There is even less time than before for a person to mount a defense.  Not having children, I can only imagine what they are dealing with these days.

- - - - - -

By 9:00 am, I had fully awakened due to the above mentioned conversation, and I had the pleasure of watching an episode of Perry Mason that I've been waiting a while to see.

Years ago, Raymond Burr was out from work on Perry Mason, and had several guest stars (as guest lawyers) taking on cases with the typical Perry Mason style.  Today's rerun, "The Case of Constant Doyle" guest starred Bette Davis, and she filled in the role perfectly.  If this wasn't Burr's series, I'd have thought it was Davis's series.  She was that good in her role. And it made me wish that the network could have done a spinoff series starring Bette Davis.  Sadly, few movie stars at the time considered TV acting as a craft as respectable as acting on stage or in the movies.  So we only have that one instance of Bette Davis in her prime doing what she does best on TV - being a strong, confident woman who could not be pushed around by anyone.

- - - - - -

Now back to the Christmas season....

One of the blogs I read discussed the masculine difference in Christmas Shopping:

1. Men get less satisfaction out of gift buying
2. Men don’t want to buy the gifts that women want to receive 
3. The thought of buying and receiving presents makes us anxious 
4. Gift buying isn’t men’s way of expressing love 
5. Men love the challenge of a one-day hunt (my favorite)

In regard to gift buying, I am much more like the typical male than the typical female.  I get little satisfaction about gift buying. Yet, I want to buy the type of gift that a person wants to receive. The thought of buying gifts makes me anxious, as I don't to get it wrong.  And it certainly isn't my way of expressing love.  Unlike the typical man, I don't relish the challenge of a one day hunt - I prefer to have my shopping done days or weeks in advance.

Shopping for GFJ this season posed me some interesting issues.  How do I send the right signals with my gifts?  I have to get her size right if I'm buying clothing, yet I can't buy anything that would not be her style.  Luckily, I knew GFJ's size range, so I was able to buy her a sweater that would fit (and if not, was from a store "semi convenient" to her).  The other gifts were easier for me, as I had ideas of what she could use and something that others had advised me to give her.

But if you think GFJ was an issue, what about my brother and his wife?   I was constrained by the requirement not to spend too much on him (we only exchange inexpensive gifts) and something that could be used by both my brother and his wife (I didn't want to give anything that would be too personal, as they are currently having problems with their marriage.) So I ended up giving them a popcorn maker.

- - - - - -

Lately, when I get a text from JS, one of the first things she wants to know is have I been able to fix things with GFJ.  (She doesn't know that GFJ is a female.  But that's another story that I've mentioned in my prior blog.)  And I've had to deflect these questions.  My big question is: Why is my romantic relationship so important?  But then, JS would like for me to help her write a personal ad for her.  There are several reasons that she could be looking for a man.  First is romance.  Second is a financial security blanket.  If she's open about herself and her issues, I have no problem helping her.  But if she's looking for a sugar daddy to take care of her (due to her own weak financial resources), then I have some reservations.

This got me thinking of my former travel partner.  She had cravings for companionship which bordered on addiction.  She'd put up with a man who'd mistreat her, instead of waiting (possibly in vain) for someone who'd treat her with love in the way she deserves.

- - - - - -


Since I'm writing this on Christmas Eve, I don't want to end this post on a down note.  Instead, I'd rather wish my readers a happy and prosperous time in the new year.




Happy New Year!!!!!



.

Lunch and Gaming

Although I snapped this photo last week, it could have easily been taken tonight.  Other than the cold, the weather would have been perfect to visit the city.  As for me, I spent most of the day in the Northern Suburbs, then drove to Yonkers to play games this evening.

- - - - - -

It's been a while since I've seen SWD, and we agreed to meet at the Thai restaurant in Beacon.  Sometimes when we meet, lunch is short.  But today, we spent 3 hours gabbing at the restaurant.  We talked about many things: her husband (nothing negative), her family (typical issues, but mostly pride in her sons), a touch of politics (we are on the opposite sides of the political debate, but can talk civilly about things), and issues with my family (I still wonder what it will be like when we celebrate my dad's birthday).  It's amazing how much one can find to talk about when one is ready, willing and able to listen to someone.

Around 3 pm, I took off for the LGBT Center to do a volunteer stint.  By the time I got near the Croton reservoir, I veered off the Taconic for a bio break before continuing my southbound journey. By the time I made it to the center, it was 5 pm - not much time to do anything useful.  Yet there was enough for me to get 90 minutes of useful time in.  But my real reason for going there today was simple - I didn't want to commit to being there on Monday, and I wanted to stop by and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  I also wanted to say hello, in case I don't get the chance to say "goodbye" for a while when working for the census bureau.

A little before 7, I started my drive over to game night, and arrived in time for the first of several games.  The 2 children enjoyed the presents I gave them. And I was surprised to receive a couple of my own.  Even though I may have had the option to meet GFJ tonight (mentioned by her early in the week), I felt that I had an obligation to these kids.  Auntie Marian went out of her way to buy them gifts, and it was important that they get these gifts before Christmas.  (Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to chat with GFJ today, as she called while I was in the middle of my volunteer work.  I wanted to call her back before her meetup, but it met 30 minutes earlier than I expected.)

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I'll be going to my doctor for my annual physical.  And then, I'll be driving to Long Island to see my family.  Hopefully, there will be no negative developments in either area....

I woke up early this morning, and started to write.

Today was going to be an unscheduled day in the middle of days where lots of things were marked on my calendar.  So I decided to write another entry to be made public on a weekend, so that I'd have the freedom NOT to write about anything and yet have something for people to read that day.

Unlike my last blog, I don't intend to have 20 canned entries waiting to be published on days I can't write anything of interest.  Often, I let many of these pre-written entries go stale, and then had to perform major surgery on them to bring them up to date.  Then, still more were unfit for publishing because what was true at the time was made false by events that happened after the entry was written.

- - - - - -

Although my alarms woke me up at the usual time, I didn't start to get moving until after noon.  Remembering that I expected a package from Amazon today, I looked out my door to find it was delivered as expected.  So I opened the package, and wrapped the locking diary for Thursday night.  I expect that both parents and the girl receiving the diary will be very happy to see this Xmas gift.  As for their son, he'll get a gift card from Barnes and Noble, along with a package of Goldfish crackers.  (He said, "anything with goldfish", and his mom said my idea was perfect.)

Very soon, I'll have to shift my alarms to wake me up 2 hours earlier than they do now.  I expect that the census job will keep me busy, and that I'll want to keep working when this job ends.  So I'll make sure that I keep a record of what I'm doing, but make sure to reveal none of the data which I will be prohibited from revealing after I'm gone.

- - - - - -

Since this is the season where I know that I'll both overeat and have excess food around the house, I had to develop a plan to keep from gaining too much weight.  After my uncle sent his yearly Xmas gift of fruit and snacks, I knew that much of the snack stuff would have to leave my apartment, lest it go to my stomach.  So I separated the fruit from the snacks, and packaged the snacks to go to this Thursday's game night meetup. 

When I finally got around to eating something other than snacks today, I ended up cooking some frozen lasagna.  Finally getting around to cooking this freezer staple allowed me to put some larger pre-made meals (for more than one person) in the freezer, so that they do not go to waste (or waist).  Thankfully, I had suspended my Freshly subscription until January 2020, or I'd not have the space in my freezer for the 2 packages.  I'm trying to have healthy food and snacks available to me when I want to nosh on something, and to have everything else inconvenient enough for me, so that I think twice before eating anything.

I hate rainy, foggy days.

Normally, I try to stay in a single presentation for the entire day.  This makes things much simpler for me.  Once I move my ID and money into the correct wallet, I can be sure that I'm carrying all 3 needed items I need to show a police officer if my car is stopped.  (I also move my AAA card, as I've been in need of a tow while in my female presentation.)  This was not going to be a "half and half" day, as I only needed to be out as Mario for an hour, and I'd be out as Marian until I returned home late in the evening.

- - - - - -

Last night, GFJ and I were chatting around 2 am.  We caught up on the past day, and then she asked a question - Did Patty know about me being TG?  I told her that she may have had some inklings when we were going together in the early 2000's, but I was not out and about way back when.  I have to assume that GFJ is still sorting things out in her mind, and that my TG nature is an important issue to her.  

When I finally got up late this morning, I knew I'd have to present as a male for part of it.  There was a book (on hold) waiting for me at the library, and there was a prescription waiting for me at the drug store.  Since I could not do these things without revealing my legal identity, I had to go out as Mario for a couple of hours before coming home to change into my female presentation and go out as Marian for the evening.

Once home, I started getting ready to go out as Marian.  Off came the boy clothes, with a plan to put on the girl clothes before seeing JS for a movie and a bite to eat.  While at home, I decided to wrap gifts for my family and for GFJ.  However, I couldn't find the locking diary in the stores for the daughter of Thursday night's meetup's Christmas Gift.  So I finally broke down and subscribed to Amazon Prime, so that I could get her gift in my hands before the next game night.

While writing the earlier parts of this entry, I got a message from JS - her dog had to go to the vet for a canine emergency.  It seems as if every time we agree to get together, some event gets in the way.  Yes, I have often been unavailable on weekends, as I have always given GFJ first claim on my time.  (She is a special woman to me, and I've said as much to her.)  But now, I have the freedom to schedule weekend time with JS, and she still has excuses.  Given what I've mentioned about her and her family in the past, I'll bet that she is having serious budget problems as well as problems with her daughter.  And these problems are getting in the way of her having a healthy social life.  (These problems are also the cause of her former financial planner abandoning JS to her own devices, as JS would not do the things needed to get her life in order.)  As for me, I'd rather not allow JS to lean too much on me, as I don't want to be in a codependent relationship with anyone.

Now that JS had to postpone our get together, I had to figure out what to do for the rest of the evening.  Did I continue my preparations to go out as Marian and see a movie?  Or, did I do something else?  I ended up staying in for the night.....

I could have gone early and shopped, but....

I hate Christmas shopping.  It's a pain to find the things people really need, and even harder to find the things that people would like but wouldn't get for themselves.  When I asked the hostess of my Thursday night meetup what to get her kids, she mentioned that her son would like anything with Goldfish on it, and that her daughter would like a diary with a lock.  At this time, it looks very doubtful that the daughter will get what she wants (from me) for Christmas.  But I'll try to do so....

- - - - - -

One of the things I had to do for Christmas was a double gift - I usually get my dad a pair of sweatpants for his birthday, then a sweatshirt on Christmas.  There's not much he can use and safely keep in his nursing home.  So I take care of the clothing, and let my brother come up with the rest of the gift ideas.

Before I did anything today, I made sure to leave my cleaning lady's cell phone outside my door so that her son could pick it up on his way home.  This gave me the option of taking a drive to Jersey to do some clothes shopping, but would force me to do a longer drive to see Patty for dinner tonight.  Instead, I stayed in bed all day, and only started to get dressed when I had just enough time to make it to dinner on time.

The drive to Mamaroneck was god awful.  The rain and the headlights made the road hard to see, and I was wishing I had cancelled dinner for safety's sake.  But Patty and I made it to the restaurant on time and we spent 3 hours chatting about anything and everything.  It's too bad that her husband had the flu - it would have been nice to see him too.  We talked about New Years' plans, and she is going to the place that GFJ and I went a couple of years ago.  I made a joke about showing up as Marian, and she felt that no one would recognize me outside the context in which they knew me.  That's a good sign of how far I've come along in my path towards the feminine.

- - - - - -

All too soon, Patty and I had to part ways.  I decided to call GFJ on my way to Target in Mt. Kisco - but she was either asleep, or enjoying herself in South Jersey.  Again, I was wishing I had stayed at home.  But at least, I found sweats for my dad's year end presents.

My day started with a chat while listening to Perry Mason

The one routine I try to keep every morning is to turn the TV to an "Oldies TV Station" and watch Perry Mason.  Occasionally, I'll sit at my computer desk and read my email wile the show is playing.  But I try to never get into a conversation while the show is on - it's a moment of sanity in the insane world I have to deal with.

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This morning, I was responding to email and messages while the show was on. And I got into an online chat with a friend while "my show" was playing.  I was not yet awake enough to chat on the phone, so I deferred the chat until later on.  And then, I went back to bed and rested for a while.Later on, I got moving and had a bite to eat.  Part of me wishes I didn't, as my scale says that I've gained a bit of weight since Thanksgiving and that I must get back in the habit of eating normally.

In the online chat, the subject of my former cruise partner (FCP) came up.  I mentioned that the main reason I cut off all communication with her was that I do not like being ordered to do things, and that she was trying to order me around as if I were her child.  You might recall (from my previous blog) that I got annoyed when she started to tell me how to cut a piece of steak. Well, I grew up in a household where my mother knew no limits of privacy nor where her limits of control were.  It is no coincidence that I moved over an hour away from my parents.  Unlike my brother, I never had to endure any unannounced visits from my parents, nor did I have to worry about my mother going into my closets, cabinets, or drawers when I was not around.  FCP pushed my buttons, and when she went too far, I knew that I would never go on another cruise with her again.

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I got delayed in doing laundry this afternoon, as I got into a conversation with our co-op's superintendent.  He's a good fellow, and we found out that some information regarding his employment wasn't transferred to the new managing agent from the old agent.  This put the co-op in an awkward situation, as we were not aware of this issue before our end-of-year meeting.  So we will be addressing this issue next month, in order to resolve the issue in an appropriate manner.

Once my laundry was done, I drove to Beacon for the dining meetup.  I was 15 minutes late, and was not able to sit with the main group of people.  Instead, I ended up sitting with one lady, her husband, and a couple of their friends.  This was the first time I got the chance to speak to this lady without her brother being around, as well as the first time I've gotten the chance to speak with this woman's husband.  It might have been fortunate circumstance that I arrived at the restaurant a little late after all.

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On the way home, I stopped at Walmart to find some sweats for my dad.  Unfortunately, the Fishkill store was sold out of everything near my dad's size.  So I may have to order some sweats online and hope they get here before Xmas....