Quick - Find me a 5th Grader!

 

The older I get, the more I find people who are totally uncomfortable with technology. It never ceases to amaze me how well the old joke fits with these people:

"It's so easy, that a 5th grader could understand it.  Quick - Find me a 5th grader!"

And yes,what comes naturally to me is so awfully impossible for some people....

- - - - - -

The other day, one of the two women I've been dating wants to buy a computer to do her work remotely.  So we run over to the local Micro Center to pick up a new computer, and then install it.  Everything is running well until we have to set up the computer on the home network - and then things go sour.  She has left all the technology decisions to her daughter, and her daughter is nowhere around to tell us the password/passphrase used to authenticate us on the home router. As a result, we can't complete setting up the computer.

Last night, she tries to reach me while I'm at work, to figure out how to connect the software she needs to perform her business tasks. Not only is she having a hard time installing the Chrome browser, but she is having conflicts due to Microsoft trying to force her to use its Edge browser and cloud services as part of the standard Windows-10 setup.  So I agree to drive down after work to help her get her software running - and this means that I will need to do a quick change from female to male presentation before going to see her.

I'll bet that whatever problem I find will be relatively simple for me to fix.  And I'll bet that she gets in the way of me fixing it, as she will be nervous due to not understanding what's going on.  If I can't fix it, I'll let her know.  But it's likely an easy problem to resolve, and I feel confident that I can get her up and running before she works with her first client.

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Aftermath of an election.

 

By the time you read this entry, the presidential election will have ended for us in New York State. We are lucky to be a state where the results will likely not be contested, as I'd hate for us to have our own version of Florida's screwed up 2000 election.  This doesn't mean that the election will be over for this country.  I expect that GOP operatives will contest the vote in most of the "Battleground States", and that we'll have a daily dose of agita from upsetting news being reported about these states' elections.

The final results of this election will affect our community. If Trump/Pence is declared the winner, I expect a full assault on the rights of the LGBTIQ community.  At first, malevolent actions at the Federal level may not affect us in the "Blue States". However, as court cases are brought to the Supreme Court, we may see Federal cases affect rights recognized at the State level.  Since Abortion is the most visible target, I expect that we will be the first target the social conservatives plan to aim for.  Transgender people will likely be at the top of the list, as many of us are relatively easy to spot, given years of "testosterone poisoning".  Even with plastic surgery to make our bodies look more feminine, our bone structure will often give us away.  Once we have lost our rights, I expect that they will go after the gay/lesbian community. Although gays/lesbians can hide in the woodwork, they will not be able to play the "don't ask / don't tell" game for long.  Only after the LGBTIQ community has lost its rights will the "conservatives" go after women as a whole, first going after a woman's right to control her own body, and then taking away many of the rights women have gained in the past 100 years. If you don't think this can happen, look at what happened in Qatar when a dead baby was found in their airport's women's room - at least 10 women were held for a forced "medical" exam to verify that none of these women was the mother of the abandoned corpse. Hardly any coverage of this took place in the mainstream press.  Could you imagine how you'd feel if it was your daughter that had to go through this humiliating process?  Of course, our current president had nothing to say about this event.

I expect that this will be a heatedly contested election.  We've already seen groups of Trump supporters in their trucks blocking people on line (in California) from getting to their polling place.  Since this is a district which tends to support Republicans, they are likely harming their own cause. Although both sides perceive threats to their ways of life, it seems like Trump's supporters have more to lose emotionally.  I find it interesting that these people are flying the biggest flags, performing the most annoying stunts (such as blocking the Westbound Tappan Zee Bridge), and doing the most dangerous things (such as running their powerboats in an unsafe manner, causing some to capsize in the wake of bigger boats) - all to gain the attention of people who might otherwise ignore their feelings.  They bask in the reflected glow of their "fearless" leader.  And they fear that they may have been duped by this con man.  So they shout "look at me, I have something important to say too" - even when they have nothing worthwhile to say.  It reminds me of the old Jerry Springer show, where an inarticulate person is bested by someone more articulate (not saying much about either person, given the show) and gives up saying "whatever." Unfortunately, Trump supporters will not go quietly into the night the way Springer's guests often went.

Hopefully, we will have a peaceful transfer of power in January.  If not, I feel sorry for our country.  I plan to make sure that I know how to use firearms just in case....

 

 

 

 

 

Friendships

 

One of the problems of the pandemic is that it is much harder to socialize, much less meet with people in a social setting.  Yes, Zoom Meetings do help.  But they are no substitute for in-person get-togethers where people mingle with each other and have one on one conversations while participating in the group meeting.

All of my in-person meetup groups have suspended their in-person meetings until the worst of the pandemic is over. A couple of groups have met virtually. But it's hard to get excited these days about seeing images of 5-10 people on a screen and having to "fight" for conversation space.  (I can only imagine how it went with the group I was blackballed from by my ex, but that's another story.) Yet, I still get excited when I can meet people in person - and hope that the weather stays mild enough for a long while, so that these people feel comfortable in getting together for lunch or dinner.

One of these people I've met in person is a woman from my Thursday Night Gaming group.  The pandemic has kept us from meeting, save for 3 in-person outdoor meetings on the front lawn of the host and hostess of our weekly gatherings. Yet, the two of us have met for outdoor lunches, and for walks along the rail trail.  Given how the two of us talk, she sees me as another female, and this is fine with me.  (I wonder how she'd react if she were to meet me as a male.  Could she deal with my bi-gendered nature?  It's not worth the risk to a friendship to find out.)  Hopefully, we'll develop a deeper friendship over time.  She's the type of person I'd want as a friend - sane, sober, and level headed.

Another person I'd like to develop a closer friendship with is a woman I met via OK Cupid.  She had just started to get intimate with a nice man, but found my profile interesting enough to want to get to know me.  (She lives near Kingston, NY, and has encountered my ex in a professional setting.)  So far, we have gotten together a couple of times, and we are looking to get together again next week for both lunch and another rail trail walk.  

Now that the winter is coming on, and people much more reluctant to meet in person, I'm hoping that the network of friendships/acquaintances I've been able to develop will help keep me sane during the pandemic related hibernation we will soon endure.  And I hope that my readers will also be able to get through the next few months without going bonkers....

 

Good Luck!

The end is near (or has come, by the time you read this).

 

The 2020 US Census.  There has been a lot of controversy surrounding this census both due to the pandemic and to the political leadership in charge of it.  I do not plan to discuss the politics of the census, as it has been covered much better elsewhere.  Instead, I will discuss my feelings about the census and the people I've met while working there.

 

When I first was in contact with the census bureau, I was up for two jobs.  One was an assistant manager position in charge of resolving technology related issues.  The other was for a clerical position, a position whose main responsibility was to recruit enumerators to do the decennial head count.  The former position was one I'd have done in my male presentation, as that could be a way for me to reenter the world of technology.  The latter position was the one I took, a position which I was allowed to come to work as a female.

 

Although its obvious that I am a transgender person, I was always treated with respect. And I earned the respect of many people there, as I was one of the go-to people to whom questions were posed to get problems resolved.  I enjoyed resolving problems with common sense solutions.  Recruitment was another issue - I hated reading off the awkward script provided us to use, especially when redundant questions were asked of the potential employees. However, recruiting helped me a great deal - it taught me what I needed to do to keep my voice sounding somewhat feminine over the course of a long day.

 

One of the first people I met was a woman whose own son is transgender. It was she who gave me the confidence to go to work presenting as female for the first time. And I'll always be grateful to her for the information that allowed me to be my authentic self at work. Next, was a woman whose goal was to work two or three months, earn a few dollars, and then start travels across the country in an RV with her husband, staying away from home for months at a time. Sadly, the pandemic put a hold on that dream. When people returned to the office after the 6 week pandemic break, both of these women were no longer coming to the office.  However, new people started coming in, including a woman who was born in Brazil.  She's a person who I'll likely be in contact with long after the census, as she is a very interesting person. Later on, we hired a woman from Mount Vernon, someone who could be a traveling partner if I were to go to the right cities.

 

Some people there are a little bit strange.  There is one man who seems to carry everything he owns in his car. In a way, he reminds me of an ex-girlfriend who started doing this after her separation from her ex-husband. Another person had a voice like a foghorn. Although she is a good person, her style rubbed a few people the wrong way.  Many people appreciated the peace and quiet in the office when she was not around.  There were two men with whom I could have serious intellectual conversations, and I wish there was a good way to keep in contact with them.   

 

As I write this, we've started the shut down process for the office.  Through a good part of the day, I was destroying messenger bags that enumerators carried while going door to door on their assignments.  It's a shame that we are doing this, but the census needs to make sure that no one has the tools to impersonate a legitimate employee.  Much of the printed paperwork unique to the 2020 census will be sent out to be destroyed. And other items will be given to other government entities.  It's only a matter of time before the office door is locked for good.

 

I'll miss this place.  It helped keep me sane during the worst part of the pandemic, and distracted me when I dwelled too much in thoughts of my ex-girlfriend.  The people were all decent people, and for the most part, I'd be glad to work with most of them again.

 

 

 

I don't think I'll be cruising alone for a while.

 

The above is the itinerary of the last cruise I took with my former cruise partner.  Almost everything about cruising will have changed by the time I take my next cruise due to the pandemic. Until they address the needs of solo travelers on cruises, I guess I won't be going on a cruise anytime soon.

This cruise was a disaster because of the problems my cruise partner and I had.  She had broken up with her boyfriend and I was ambivalent about taking this cruise.  If I had to do it all over again, I'd have passed on this cruise and spent my money on a trip to Washington, DC. At least, I'd have had an enjoyable trip and have had one more friend I could talk to during the worst of the pandemic.

Recently, one of the ladies I've been dating scheduled us for a cruise to Bermuda sometime next year.  Although she may have been jumping the gun a little, it is early enough for her to get her entire deposit back if things go sour between us before then.  Yet, it will be a strange cruise for me.  First, it'll be a cruise where I'll have to present as Mario for several days.  Second, it'll be a cruise with the new pandemic protocols - things I don't like, but would live with to cruise again with a partner. For example, the embarkation/debarkation routines will be much more rigid, so that people can be socially distanced while getting on/off the ship. Once on the ship, social distancing will be enforced. And there will likely be no sharing of tables between multiple groups/individuals.  One of the things I liked most about cruising was the opportunity to meet new people. That will be much harder to do when the cruise line is trying to keep people apart for health reasons. At least, I'll have a travel partner for this upcoming cruise, someone I can talk with while enjoying the cruise.

When I am alone on a cruise, I like to chat up people I meet while dining. Sometimes, I'll go to the bar to have a drink, and meet people there. One of my pen pals is a woman I met on a solo cruise, and I never would have met her while pandemic health protocols are being enforced.  From what I've read, the lounge chairs at pool side will be limited, and one may need to schedule time to be in the pools.  I can only imagine whether the ships will limit people in the hot tubs as well.  It will not be as much fun to be on a cruise as it was before the pandemic.

There is a phrase which is almost always true in any situation:

This Too Shall Pass.

And I'm hoping that by the time I turn 65, that we will have returned to a new normal, and that most of the pandemic protocols can finally be relaxed because they are no longer needed.  We can only home, and work towards that goal....

 

It was a long day for me....

 

Today was a busy day for me. It was the last 8 hour day at the census.  It was a short visit with the folks from my Thursday night gaming sessions.  And it was dinner with Vicki.  By the time I got home, I was totally exhausted and unable to pay any attention to a book I was trying to read, or to the TV on in the background.

Starting off the day, I woke up before the alarm clock and proceeded to get ready for work.  This would be the last day I officially had to be on site by 7:00 am, and I knew I'd be exhausted all day. As usual, I arrived at the office a few minutes late (don't tell my boss), and proceeded to surf the web all day.

After a quick attempt at napping, I drove to Yonkers to see my game night friends for what be my only chance to see them until next spring. The visit was way too short, and if I didn't have dinner scheduled with Vicki, I'd have stayed until the sun went down. But 6:00 came way too soon, and dinner was scheduled for 7:30 in Mahopac.

Picking Vicki up around 7:00, we got to dinner on time.  However, it was a blessing that the restaurant wouldn't allow us to open the bottle of wine Vicki brought with her.  We chatted about many things over dinner, not discussing the elephant in the room: What do I do with FH and FL? How do I sort things out?  So, on the ride home, we finally chatted about that.

When we got to Vicki's house, we chatted about relationships, and I learned something about her and about myself.  Vicki has strong feelings about my ex-girlfriend, and tends to get into a lecturing session if the ex comes up.  I only wanted to reference her in context of the other two ladies, and it triggered something in Vicki.  But Vicki mentioned something in passing about someone we once knew - the fellow who introduced us said I was cheap, and the ex mentioned that in her "nastygram" to me on my birthday.  

Am I cheap?  Frugal yes, but I don't think excessively cheap.  I only wish I had a person who knew me well enough to give me honest and objective feedback.

 

A talk about adult toys

 

Today's discussion will be relatively quick.  No, I'm not going to perform a review of female adult toys. With my current plumbing arrangement, I couldn't even begin to make a reasonable evaluation of said toys. But I can talk about a discussion which recently took place between me and three other ladies in regard to such toys.

As I've written before, I am a regular participant in a Zoom Meetup with a Texas based group.  They know me only as Marian, and treat me as a female.  So it was a pleasant surprise when I was included in a conversation about vibrators. And this review of a vibrator from Tracy's Dog had me laughing and made me wish even more that I was born with the "alternate plumbing configuration."  One of the ladies in this chat said that several of her friends own the vibrator and can testify to its value in inducing orgasms.  So I submit this link, so that my readers can buy something similar as a gift for their girlfriends.