A long weekend with RQS

 

My "timing" has been off, and my usual rhythms aren't fully in gear yet.

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This weekend, RQS came up on Friday, and we enjoyed each other's company as usual.  On Friday, I met RQS at the train station as Mario, and we proceeded to have an early dinner at a nearby Mexican joint before going to BJ's to buy a new TV for the bedroom.

In the past, TV's were very dumb - one would change the channel, and no one would know what stations you were watching.  No one could narrow cast advertisements to the home.  This has changed with the internet, where "Smart TVs" have become the rage.  Why is this?  We have become the product.  Once we set out TVs up, our viewing habits are monitored by the likes of Google, and we receive narrow-casted advertisements in exchange for "subsidized" lower cost TV sets.  (I'd rather spend the money NOT to be spied on, but "Dumb TVs" are no longer available in most stores anymore.

Once we got home, I started to set up the TV, and found that it was no longer the simple "plug and play" process I had with my old TVs.  I had to set a log-on code with my TV's maker, then go through adding a limited number of apps to the TV (all likely providing revenue to the TV manufacturer for viewer data) before I could even start watching anything on the TV.  AARGH!  I'd rather pay much more for a dumb TV that respects my privacy.  Too bad that they don't exist anymore.

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Saturday came, and I was finally out as Marian again.  This time, we ended up taking a walk on a rail trail near New Paltz before taking a leisurely drive home. Although I was tempted to stop by Aldi, so that RQS could compare this store against my nearby Trader Joe's, we went straight home and relaxed. The next morning, we both woke up late. By the time we finally went out for our pedicures, it was almost 3:30 pm.  It was nice to have our feet pampered again, as my toenails desperately needed trimming.  Now, they will likely look nice until month-end.

Monday came, and RQS suggested that she stay over until Tuesday.  Of course, I liked this suggestion, as we wouldn't be apart until her eye doctor got the chance to work on her eye mid-week.  This was another Marian mode day where we decided to walk along the Hudson river, enjoying one of the last spring days before it gets too warm to go out walking without working up a sweat.

On the whole, it was a good weekend where we both had the chance to relax.  This coming week, we will be up to our eyeballs in things we have to do....

One of these days, I'll have a "normal" sleep schedule

 

I've never been one to sleep when the rest of the world sleeps.  Yes, I'll get up early, so that I can make certain appointments.  But, when I have no critical appointments, I will sleep as long as possible.  In fact, when RQS comes over, she ends up syncing to my sleep pattern, instead of me syncing my sleep pattern to hers.  Normally, this wouldn't concern me, but it has lasted way too long this time around.

My mom once told me that when I was very young, I would always be awake at night and would sleep during the day.  As I grew up, this unusual pattern would always come back whenever I had no fixed daytime routine.  When I entered the workforce, I was most successful when I could get into work later than the average person and leave later as well.

Now that I'm retired, this has become a liability, as I could easily sleep 16 hours a day if I wanted to. Being active is the best way to have a long life.  Without the imposed need to be active, it's too easy to fall into the bad habits which would shorten my life.

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At the beginning of the pandemic, I was depressed due to losing two of the people who were most important in my life.  On my days off from the census, I would occasionally go to various rail trails and walk two or three miles.  I'm not as motivated to do this anymore.  Yet, this would be the best thing to do.

Let's see what happens in the spring.  I might just get back into walking again, and stay in sync with the rest of the world.

Walking on the Rail Trail with DS.

 

Although the above picture was taken roughly 20 years ago, it gives an idea of what the local rail trail looked like today - except that more people were out walking and cycling, enjoying the warm day.

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Last night, I fell out shortly after my nightly call to RQS.  Unfortunately, I woke up around 1:30 am, and couldn't get back to sleep until 5:00 am.  So, this changed my plan of getting up at 8:00 am to go to church.  Instead, I told my automated assistant to wake me up around 10:30 am, and relaxed for a while.

Of course, 10:30 am came way too quickly, and I started taking care of little things before driving to the rail trail's parking lot at 1:00 pm. Unfortunately, DS got stuck in traffic, and we didn't get moving on the trail until 2:00 pm.  Although I had to rest a few times, I did get in a little over 3 miles of walking before it was time for a late lunch at 3:00 pm.  Pizza was on the menu, and I made sure that it would be a place convenient for DS. And it was there we were able to chat without having to watch my breath.  (Talking in Marian Mode requires a breath effort which is hard when doing physical activity.  I require a stronger breath to hit the upper range of my voice, and physical activity robs me of that strength.)  Too soon, we had to part.  But we will try to fit in another walk in a couple of weeks.

Once I got home, I took a little nap.  And when I woke up, it was time for dinner.  All in all, it was a nice day, and great seeing DS again.

When I woke up, it was colder than I originally expected.

It was not this cold outside today, but it was colder than I expected. 

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The last time I went out walking, it was in the 40's. And I felt comfortable outside wearing a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt under a coat when I walked with my friend from my Thursday night group.  Today, being 10 degrees cooler than my last outdoor walk, I figured that it might be a little too cold for me to walk outdoors. So I texted a friend, and asked if we could change our get together from a walk and maybe a bite to eat to just a bite to eat. And our plans changed, so that we could meet at a local brewpub.  

Around 1 pm, we met at the empty brewpub and talked about many things.  I talked about many of the things I mention in this blog: some with more detail than I write here, and some with less detail. One of the things I mentioned was that I had no place yet to go for Xmas. So now, I have a place to go if I have no other invitations for the day.  Because it was warmer than either of us expected when we finished with lunch, we took the chance to move our cars out of the brewpub's parking lot to a place where it was safe to park the cars for an hour or so. And then we walked a short distance before turning back.  (BTW: I found out that I need to put a pair of gloves into the pockets of my new coat.)

As I've mentioned here and elsewhere, I'm a bit concerned about how this winter is going to look like.  Will people hunker down at home and take realistic precautions against being infected by the virus?  Or, will they throw caution to the wind (albeit slowly) and allow the pandemic to continue its second wave? I plan to obey all of the restrictions put upon us by  our state's government, as I don't want another lock down as is now about to start in California.

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Thinking of California for a minute, several of my acquaintances live in the San Francisco Bay area.  My Aunt and Uncle live in Los Angeles. They will all be affected by the upcoming lock downs.  The state is an example of a government which has delegated too much power to the people. At least one county (San Mateo) is not planning on following the governor's directive to do a 3 week lock down.  Instead, they plan to perform a "Swiss Cheese" approach to closing things down, and as a result, have very little effect in stopping the spread of the virus.

Recently, I found a new search engine (people locator), and I may have found where an ex girlfriend of 44 years ago lives.  If I'm right, I'll consider dropping off some snail mail just to say hello.  I don't have much to say, I live on the other side of the country, and I pose no threat to this woman's comfort.  So, I might have a pleasant response if I do this.  The odds are that I won't send this letter.  But it would be nice to reconnect with someone who affected my life in a positive manner and tell her this after all these years.

Another acquaintance in the Bay Area knows about my bi-gendered nature, and is comfortable with it.  Hopefully, she will survive the winter, and that I'll get to see her on my next visit to the Bay area.  It's been around 8 years since I was there last, and it's time to get out there again. This time, it'll be much more expensive for me to visit. But I'm coupling this trip with: (1) a visit to LA to see my Aunt and Uncle, (2) a broken leg train trip from LA to Seattle, (3) meeting up with my nephew in Seattle, and (4) a cross country train trip back home.  It'll be an expensive trip.  So it won't be something I'll do on the spur of the moment.

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Now that I've started to think of warm places, Florida comes to mind.  I have some acquaintances I'd like to visit there, and have no intentions of doing so until the pandemic lifts. As is well known, the governor is a GOP buffoon, and doesn't take the pandemic seriously. He hews to the Trump party line. And this has put an ex girlfriend of mine (and her partner) at risk. No, I do not plan to visit this ex.  But I would like to visit two people who have been mentioned in my previous blog before life made other plans for me.

Assuming I decide to visit Florida, my trips between cities will need to be taken as Mario.  I don't trust this state's attitudes towards people like me in this political climate.  One could easily get killed if the wrong people were to find out my biological gender doesn't match up with my gender presentation.  As much as some people have no trouble "traveling pretty" (as Kim would put it), I still feel that I have to be very careful.  But I'm not in any hurry.  I don't plan on making this trip until next winter at the earliest.

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Hopefully, I will get back to traveling and meeting people sometime next year.  I'm more than willing to pay the price in loneliness to get out the other side of this pandemic without catching the virus. But it is a heavier price than I'd like to pay to be on the other side....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendships

 

One of the problems of the pandemic is that it is much harder to socialize, much less meet with people in a social setting.  Yes, Zoom Meetings do help.  But they are no substitute for in-person get-togethers where people mingle with each other and have one on one conversations while participating in the group meeting.

All of my in-person meetup groups have suspended their in-person meetings until the worst of the pandemic is over. A couple of groups have met virtually. But it's hard to get excited these days about seeing images of 5-10 people on a screen and having to "fight" for conversation space.  (I can only imagine how it went with the group I was blackballed from by my ex, but that's another story.) Yet, I still get excited when I can meet people in person - and hope that the weather stays mild enough for a long while, so that these people feel comfortable in getting together for lunch or dinner.

One of these people I've met in person is a woman from my Thursday Night Gaming group.  The pandemic has kept us from meeting, save for 3 in-person outdoor meetings on the front lawn of the host and hostess of our weekly gatherings. Yet, the two of us have met for outdoor lunches, and for walks along the rail trail.  Given how the two of us talk, she sees me as another female, and this is fine with me.  (I wonder how she'd react if she were to meet me as a male.  Could she deal with my bi-gendered nature?  It's not worth the risk to a friendship to find out.)  Hopefully, we'll develop a deeper friendship over time.  She's the type of person I'd want as a friend - sane, sober, and level headed.

Another person I'd like to develop a closer friendship with is a woman I met via OK Cupid.  She had just started to get intimate with a nice man, but found my profile interesting enough to want to get to know me.  (She lives near Kingston, NY, and has encountered my ex in a professional setting.)  So far, we have gotten together a couple of times, and we are looking to get together again next week for both lunch and another rail trail walk.  

Now that the winter is coming on, and people much more reluctant to meet in person, I'm hoping that the network of friendships/acquaintances I've been able to develop will help keep me sane during the pandemic related hibernation we will soon endure.  And I hope that my readers will also be able to get through the next few months without going bonkers....

 

Good Luck!

Exercise

Lately, I've been getting out and about on days where the sun is out and when I'm not working.  I've been trying to build up my time and distance endurance before I decide to do some serious hiking with groups in the region.

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Given that in male mode, I am bald, wearing a wig and going out for a long walk doesn't make any sense.  Without makeup, my face looks masculine, and that's not the image I want to present on the trails.  So I have decided to exercise in male mode.  😢   This is a hard choice for me, but one I needed to make.

Since the quarantine began, I've been out of the house as much as Mario as I have been as Marian.  It's certainly strange to be finding some practicality for my male presentation.  But with a life like mine, I'm used to "strange" by now.  But after one outing as Marian with a little bit of blush on my face, reality hit me in the face.  If I had decided to go all the way and have FFS, plus hair transplants, I'd be out as Marian.  Yet, I'm not uncomfortable as Mario anymore.  I can live in a half and half mode.

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Recently, people have started to go outside to enjoy the outdoors.  Theaters are still closed, restaurants are only open for takeout in New York, and there are few diversions open to the public, save for walking in a local park.  And the local parks have been overrun.  In the case of Croton Dam Park (and its vicinity), the park is overflowing with cars, the road stub which once crossed the dam is packed with cars, and the overflow from that stub led to cars being parked on both sides of the road for a half mile up and down from the road stub.  The county has had to put up signs to tell the public that this overflow parking is prohibited, and that cars will be towed if necessary.  This has caused me to drive further North to enjoy my nature walks.

Virtually all of the walking I have done has been North of me, save for two walks along the Old Croton Aqueduct.  I'll save walks along the aqueduct trail for days I don't have much time to drive to a trail head for walking.  Most of the time, I've driven North to places which are (at least) an hour away from here, such as the Harlem Valley Rail Trail, Walkill Valley Rail Trail, and Dutchess County Rail Trail.  Some of these trails are well maintained, such as the Dutchess trail. And others are poorly maintained, such as the Walkill Valley trail.  I wonder what the O&W Rail Trail will look like when I go there.  However, I will need to make sure to avoid certain sections of it for personal reasons.

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Soon, I expect to see restaurants in the Hudson Valley open up, now that the region is meeting the governor's criteria for reopening the economy.  Once this happens, I'll walk a trail in the Kingston area and visit The Little Bear again.  Hopefully, they will have survived the shutdown, and will again be serving great meals.