A visit to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

 

Although FH and I will never be romantic partners, we still get together now and then to be activity partners.  There is enough about her that I like to enjoy an occasional day trip somewhere, but not enough that I'd want to have her as a partner for either 30 minutes or the other 23 hours and 30 minutes of the day. Today was one of those days that we ended up going to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden (BBG).

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If I were going to BBG on my own, I'd have taken the train into NYC, then caught either of the #4 or #5 trains to BBG.  Instead, I had to pick FH up, as she never takes the subway these days.  (She was surprised that I now ride the subways, 2 years since everything shut down for the pandemic.)  Driving between Forest Hills and the heart of Brooklyn takes forever, as none of the roads go from here to there without major traffic jams.  For a 9 mile trip as the crow flies, Google Maps said it would take 45 minutes - an average of 12 mph!  No wonder why I hate driving within NYC limits....

We got to BBG around 2 pm, and proceeded to walk around the garden.  FH, as usual, wanted a photographic record of her presence at the place, asking me to take pictures of her at several places along the paths.  I don't mind doing this, but it gets tiresome after a while.  

The thing that I dislike about FH the most is her self centered/ethno-centeric attitude about life in general.  For example, I am disgusted that the Nazis killed 11 people during the Holocaust. To me, murder is murder, no matter what the justifications are for doing so. She focuses on the 6 million Jews, and effectively says that they are more important than the other 5 million because she's Jewish.  FH also focuses on my ethnic background, and not how I identify myself.  This would bother me to no end if I were in a relationship with her.  Yet, I can tolerate it in small doses as a friend.  

Sadly, FH is not able to see things from others' point of view.  When we took a break to sit down and have a soda, our conversation meandered to the Coney Island Sideshow.  Her thoughts on the issue are that people with birth defects should never put themselves on public display to get by in life, such as the performers in sideshows.  She would put them on the dole and keep them out of sight.  I have nothing against those who would accept public assistance, but I respect the likes of those who would earn a living by showing off how they adapted to a world built for people unlike them.  She couldn't understand why people would put themselves in the public eye. as if they were embarrassing themselves.  As I noted that people such as Johnny Eck didn't feel this way, the lady at the next table mentioned a string of people who made their living this way, as if she was disgusted with FH's attitude.  I guess that more people have my attitude towards these people than FH's attitude.

Around 4 pm, we left BBG and took the long way to Howard Beach to have dinner.  Given that I remembered that there used to be quite a few restaurants along this stretch of road, we headed South. Somewhere on the left, I saw a restaurant on the left that looked like there might be a line at 5 pm.  FH nixed it because she didn't want to risk waiting on line. (I remember Lenny's advertisements from 40 years ago.  So the place had to be decent to survive this long.  And, at 5 pm, any line would be short.  But I digress.)  We found an Italian joint somewhere just before Cross Bay Boulevard reached the toll bridge, and pulled in for dinner.  To me, the food tasted good, save for the tomato sauce which may have simmered too long.  FH, however, thought it was less than good.  So it will be another of those places we never go to again.

On the way home, FH asked me to be her +1 for a wedding she was attending next month.  I wasn't going to answer yes right away, as I wanted to make sure that I didn't have any conflicts with RQS.  (I'll always put my relationship with RQS first, over that of my female friends.)  Hopefully, I'll be able to go - even if it means I spend another day as Mario....

 

 

PS: After thinking about it, I was glad to turn down FH's "plus 1" request.  I would know only her, and I would be uncomfortable at a wedding where I wouldn't know what is going on next.  She was upset at me for not responding to her as soon as she told me the date was Memorial Day weekend.  But then, she is a bossy type who has trouble when she can't manipulate people as she wants....

The detrius of someone's life

 

The other day, I saw this scooter put out in the trash area for bulk pickup.  Given that the scooter likely came from the belongings of a woman who died a few months ago, I feel a little sad seeing the scooter  here to be taken out with the trash..

We all get old, and we all die.  It's just a matter of how and when that these things happen.  For many of us, it's hard to get our heads around the idea of a time in which we won't exist.  Since our lives can end at anytime, it makes sense to plan for tomorrow, but live for today.

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This morning, I came home from a doctor's appointment and met my next door neighbor.  He said that he hadn't heard any noise coming from my apartment and hadn't seen my car move in several days.  If he hadn't seen me come in today, he might have called the police to check in on me.  This got me to thinking: What if something did happen to me?  Who'd care other than distant family and friends?

Right now, my apartment is a total mess.  I'd feel sorry for the people who would be responsible if I were to die suddenly, as they would need to figure out how I arranged things in my financial life and then clean out, freshen up, and sell my apartment.  So, I will need to take care of a few things while I still have the ability to do so.  (No, I don't expect anything to happen to me.  But how many of us do?)

As my readers know, I maintain two wardrobes.  I can only imagine what my brother would think if he saw what was in one of my closets.  Whoever handles the closeout of my life will be in for some surprises.  It's too bad that I won't be around to see their reactions....

Leaving DC

 

James Smithson - a man whose gift to a nation he never visited in life created an educational institution which is known the world over.  His crypt is pictured above, and I'd bet that he'd be surprised to find out how much his gift has benefited our nation.

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Tuesday was the day we planned to leave Washington, DC.  RQS made one mistake which she regretted. There was an exhibit at the Arts and Industries Building she wanted to see, and it was closed for the day.  So we walked over to the Smithsonian castle to see what was inside of the welcome center and for me to make my visit to Smithson's crypt.  

This visit would be the shortest time we'd spend inside a museum, as it was already very warm outside and we had to vacate our room at the hotel by 1 pm.  So, once we finished our visit, we went back to the hotel for a couple of hours, and then to Union Station.

We killed time at Union Station before boarding our train.  This time, we ended up in the quiet car, and this was a blessing.  The quiet was what we needed after an exciting trip.  It was warm when we left Washington, DC and cool when we arrived in NYC.  But we learned a little bit more about each other, and the trip was worth the time and money spent to do this....

National Zoo

 

Monday was a trip to the National Zoo.  And the ape above was continually having fun with the people on the other side of the plexiglass shield.  The fellow above would retreat to the back of his "cage" for a while, then run up to the plexiglass, make a loud noise by banging on the plexiglass, then returning to the back of his area.  You should have seen the reactions children were making as he rushed up to scare them.  He was having fun with us, and we were enjoying it.

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This Zoo visit would be the first one for me in DC.  And I was glad that RQS made all the arrangements for us to have times entry passes, as I never would have thought of this.

We took the Metro to the Zoo's neighborhood, then walked the 4 long uphill blocks to the zoo.  Once inside, we followed the path downhill to several exhibits including Cheetahs, Pandas, Lions, Elephants, and the Great Apes.  Most of apes couldn't give a hoot about the people looking at them.  But when one looks at these apes carefully, one can see the thread of common genetic ancestry that binds our species together.  (I'd love the word "humanity" here, but it wouldn't be appropriate to use it for another primate.  Yet, one can see a certain something in their eyes for which I don't have adequate words to describe.) For me, seeing these apes was the highlight of this visit. Yet, when I think of them, I wonder if they feel "caged" being in this artificial environment.

When we got to the end of the Zoo's downward path, we found out there was no shuttle to bring us back to the top of the hill.  Although a shuttle was marked on the zoo's maps, it stopped running because of the pandemic, and no one knew when or if the shuttle would return.  So we hoofed it back ip the hill and to the exit, taking breaks along the way to cool off.

After we left the zoo, we went to a restaurant I noticed on the trek to the zoo.  If you're ever in DC, go to this restaurant (Hot N Juicy Crawfish) and order the "Get your feet wet" combo.  You won't be disappointed. Sadly for us, their Manhattan outpost has closed.  So we'll have to revisit this place the next time we're in DC.)  Unlike our disappointment with the prior night's Ethiopian restaurant, this restaurant was "Fan F'ing Tastic!"  YUM!!!!   The two of us chowed down on a bucketful of tasty seafood, and got out of the place for $60.  How could you beat that?

On the way out, we found that RQS had lost her cell phone.  After she started looking for it inside the restaurant, I decided to ring the phone.  After a couple of tries, someone at the zoo answered it.  So it was back to the zoo to pick up the phone.  Arriving at the gate, we used the intercom to call the park police, and we were driven to the park police station to pick up the phone, then back for us to exit the park.  This incident showed us that we could work well together in a moderately stressful time, as we could keep our cool when things could get totally screwed up.

National African American Museum

 

The above is a picture of RQS standing in front of the Point of Pines Cabin at the National African American History Museum.  Given America's history of treating Blacks as second class people, I feel that this museum is a "must visit" for all Americans. 

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RQS set up the agenda for this trip.  The schedule for our first full day in DC, Sunday, was a visit to the National African American History Museum, followed by a dinner "somewhere".  There was an exhibit at the Arts and Industries Building we wanted to see yesterday, but we were too tired to see it when we arrived.  This morning, we didn't bother waking up early enough to see this exhibit, and proceeded to walk the length of the mall to reach today's museum by 12:30 pm.

Upon entering the museum, we proceeded to the second floor and started viewing exhibits.  Most of the exhibits on this floor focused on artifacts in the 20th century.  This included women in professions such as midwifery, people in sports, and other artifacts related to the "black experience".  It took us over 1 1/2 hours to make it through half of this floor before we decided to have lunch.

After lunch, we went to a larger exhibition (I think permanent) which took up 3 lower levels of the building.  It showed how "Blackness" and "Whiteness" was not a big issue in Western society until European nations started to colonize the Americas and use Africans as slaves.  (I'm not doing the exhibits justice.  You'll  have to see it for yourself.)  From there, the exhibition showed how blacks were brought to the Americas, how they were treated once here, and how slavery affected American society - even after slavery was "abolished" in the United States.  By the time 5:00 came around, we were exhausted, and we went back to the hotel to rest for a while.

Later that evening, it was time to eat, and we made it to U Street.  Unfortunately, we selected an Ethiopian restaurant which once served good food with lousy service.  This time, it was mediocre food with lousy service.  Both of us wanted something sweet to eat afterwards, so we ended up walking a while before finding a Jeni's ice cream shop.  And this was an unexpected blessing, as there was a line out the door.  This meant we'd likely enjoy the ice cream we were about to have - which we did.  It was a nice way to end a great day....

Traveling to DC

 

This weekend, RQS and I went down to Washington, DC for a little R&R.  We've been looking to get away for a while, and I took the week off without pay in order to do so.  Today's entry is not going to be a full recap of the trip.  Instead, it is more of an overview of what we did during this trip.

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One of the things RQS and I felt that we needed to know was whether we could go away for a mini vacation (with opportunities to escape each other if needed) and find out whether we could get along after several days together.  On that issue, I can say that we have dealt with a couple of mini crises, and we have passed a couple of tests in dealing with unexpected adversity.

We left for DC on a Saturday, and used a Lyft to get to Penn Station (NYP) from RQS's house.  The driver asked if it was OK not to use the most direct route through Manhattan to reach NYP, as there was a parade going on that day (which he was going to attend).  We said OK, and did the loop from the Brooklyn bridge to South Ferry, then back uptown on the West side, where he dropped us off across from the new Moynihan train hall.  This wasn't a problem, as we had time to spare.  But we almost blew it, as RQS misread the departure time.  Luckily, I noticed the error, and we made it across the street with over 30 minutes to spare/

One of the problems that was going to bother me throughout the trip would be my lack of low denomination folding money.  I had several $100 bills on me, but was running out of $20's.  So our lost time in NYC was due to my looking for a Chase branch before getting on the train.  This forced me to do something which became an advantage for me - use a specific credit card for all my purchases on the trip.  This made it much easier to figure out how much I was spending on the trip, and balance things out with RQS at the end of the trip.  But I digress.

RQS and I waited in the train hall for an announcement to tell us that it was time to board our train.  While waiting to get on the elevator, we met another couple traveling to DC and I overheard a comment about New York City rudeness.  I said that in NYC, if a person uses deleted expletives for 5 minutes then says "have a nice day", you know that the person likes you.  Then, I mentioned that the F-Word is not an expletive in NYC, but only a word used for dramatic emphasis.  They laughed at this while we got on the escalator taking us down to the platform.

Boarding the train was not an issue, and we saw a homeless woman riding between the train cars.  The steward chatted with this lady, and then she proceeded to lock herself in the lavatory for most of the ride.  About 2 hours lady, the attendant (and a female assistant) did their best to politely tell the woman that she had to leave the lavatory before the train reached DC.  When she finally vacated the room, she used words to define herself that showed how down and out she was.  As much as I felt sorry for her, I was impressed at how well the two Amtrak employees dealt with an issue which could have escalated into something worse.

As we arrived in DC, we noticed that the temperature was much warmer than it was in New York.  Instead of a long sleeve shirt and a windbreaker, it was time to break out a short sleeve shirt.  Yet, after checking in to our hotel, we stayed in what we were wearing for a nice dinner with RQS's cousin before calling it a night.

I feel like I've been running on empty for a while.

 

If I can say anything about my life lately, it's that I always to feel sleep deprived during the week.  For the past two days, I've taken a nap shortly after I got home and have awakened too late to get much of anything done.  Luckily, I had enough broken sleep to have enough energy to get through the day without feeling that I need a nap while at work.

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Strangely enough, I will miss having a place to go to when I eventually leave my job.  The people are a nice bunch, even though they don't have much time to be social. The place is LGBT friendly, and I have never noticed anyone saying negative about me or others in the LGBT community that is related to our gender issues.   Yet, I will enjoy having time back in my life to do things.  And, even more importantly, I will be able to enjoy reading books again.

I've noticed changes affecting my health that I want to discuss with my doctor next week.  These changes are likely related to two things: my age, and the toll that an 8 hour/day grunt job does to my body.  Last year at this time, I'd have no problem going on a hike with DS.  Today, I think I'd feel winded early on.  This bothers me a bit.  I'd like to break the habit of drinking 4+ cups of coffee (or its equivalent) on a daily basis.  Unfortunately, I can't do this while I need caffeine's stimulant effect to make it through the work day.

Sooner or later, something's got to give.  And I'm hoping that I will feel comfortable bailing out of my job before that time comes....