Starting to catch up with people

 

Harpo Marx has nothing to do with this post, save this is my favorite picture of him, and that he is my favorite among all the Marx Brothers as people. (Groucho is my favorite on screen.)  

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Today was my last day of work before the weekend.  And my schedule included dealing with a phone call from the Medicare Insurance Agent (for my Part D coverage) and having dinner with a friend from my meetup groups.  What I didn't plan for was a 90 minute phone call with my ex girlfriend Patty, as her hubby was busy with a gig.  So, bu the time I reached RQS, it was getting close to midnight.  

But first....

I haven't been sleeping that well, and I could have used another 2 hours of sleep before going to work.  But I was awake and alert all day.  I guess it relates to me having more liquid when I get up and some calories (in the form of carbs) to burn before leaving home.

After 8 hours at my workstation, it was time for me to leave and get ready for dinner.  Dinner was scheduled for 6:30 at a nearby restaurant.  Since I had the insurance agent scheduled, I pushed the time forward to 7 pm.  And this was a good thing, as the insurance agent didn't bother calling me.  Luckily, the restaurant is 5 minutes away from me and I got there at 7 o'clock sharp. My friend and I had a nice meal together.  She is young enough to be my daughter and she sees me as if I were a cisgender woman.  And that is how I relate to her.   

Once I got home, Patty and I had a nice long chat and caught up on things. I won't go into any of the details here, save that we talked about family members with similar issues, medicare issues, and residence issues.  We could have talked more, but her hubby got home and she wanted to spend time with him.  So I suggested a dinner foursome with RQS, and let her spend the end of the evening with her hubby.

Next was RQS.  We caught up on what was going on for the day, and then it was time to go to bed.  At this point, I picked up some clothing I'd need for the next day, and packed for an overnight with her. However, I made sure that I transferred everything from Marian's wallet to Mario's wallet.  The last thing I want is to have no ID in my wallet when I need it - as happened with XGFJ several years ago....

A conversation with FCP

Earlier this year, I found out that FCP had a grandchild and that her son had graduated med school.  So I sent her congratulations, even though we were still on the outs with each other.  Two weeks after the last message, she sent a message to tell me that she was offended that I sent a card to her son and daughter in law to offer my congratulations.  (She tried calling me, but I wouldn't have picked up if I knew it were her - I don't react well to someone screaming.)  I wasn't going to say this to her, but I knew that her son holds no grudge against me, and probably was glad to receive my card.

After several failed phone calls, FCP sent a text message and we had a series of message exchanges.  I found out that my ex girlfriend was much more unhappy in our relationship than she let on to me (the ex told me that she hinted a lot and expected me to pick up on her obtuse hints), and complained to FCP.  (I'd give a cookie to know who contacted who first, but that's another story.)  Given the way things were phrased in the exchange, I think that FCP wanted to make sure that my relationship with the ex was going to die, so that she could get even with me.

Now, I'm not going to go into details here, but I think I was set up by FCP without even sensing it.  It's just as well that things are over with both people, as there's nothing that would have come from the relationship with the ex, as we never talked about having a future together after 5 years of a relationship.  Being transgender was only one of the things that the ex couldn't deal with, and I'll leave it at that.  All I can say is that I wasted 5 years with the ex when I could have been searching for someone who could accept me fully as I am - in both gender presentations.  This is not a knock on my ex as much as it is a knock on two people who couldn't shit or get off the pot for as long as we did.

Do I know what the objective truth is regarding what happened all these months ago?  No.  But I'm closer to being able to say that the ex was unhappy, was unable to advocate for her needs with me, and was destined to leave a lot later than she should have.  Regarding FCP, I should have never had made public things which I did.  And both of us have grown because we no longer lean on each other for support....

 

 

PS: I had another message from FCP, and she was upset upon reading this.  She didn't like my accusing her of being in the middle of things and causing trouble, so she is blocking communications from me.  Sadly, she can't accept that others can come up with different conclusions based on the information available to them.  And, when neither person trusts each other anymore, it is very easy to assume the worst from the other.

 

Computer Interface Problems

 

No matter how programmers try their best, they will always screw up a little.  In my case, the programmer who designed the aa.com website made the page where security questions are saved not work with my internet security program (Kaspersky) on Firefox, Chrome, and MS Edge.  It could be a problem with another of the programs I'm using on my computer, but I was able to enter this data by using the Opera browser.

Sadly, there is no way to test software to run on every device.  But I feel that many programmers could do a better job - both when designing web sites (and their underlying software) and in internet security packages.  Sometimes, I'd like to have an easy way to disable all browser extensions for use on a particular web page AND disable most of the security checks as well.  Obviously, this is not an approach for the feint hearted, as one can do this for a web site run by a scammer.

It's very unfortunate that we need complex interfaces to perform simple computer functions on the web. Gone are the days where we could submit information without a Captcha and without multi factor verification.  And this is for the better, as more of our lives are managed via the computer than they were even 5 years ago.  We need to be secure, and this complexity is there for our benefit.

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Regarding the aa.com site....

I tried using my system with all of the major browsers.  However, I also use a version of Opera which has no browser extensions.  I'll bet that if my security package didn't tie itself in so tightly with the other browsers, that I'd have been infected with malware by now....

Everything's getting old these days.

 

This morning, I took off a half day from work for a doctor's visit.  After checking me up a bit, he noted that I needed to have some tests done, and I had to take care of going to another place in town to have them done.  AARGH!  I hate doing this.  But I will do so.  But this is not the only thing that's growing old - my car is getting on in miles, and it's time to get a replacement. I'm not happy about what needs to be done, as it will cost me time and money.  Time is now the most precious commodity in life, as we will never have enough of it.

It's amazing that the more I have to do, the less time I have to do it. This is the life of a busy person, even when s/he is not doing that much anymore.  Yet, I keep getting surprised by things.  This morning, I received some snail mail from Social Security about monies I had in a pension plan with the bank I once worked for.  The information I received was from 7 years ago - regarding a 401k I have with the bank.  It's nice to know that our government is trying to make sure that our citizens know about the retirement funds they have already earned with other employers.

The two remaining tasks I have to take care of before going to work is finding out when I can go in for the tests the doctor prescribed AND when I can bring the car to the mechanic.  I guess that getting old will involve many more appointments for things that are starting to break down....

The end of a long weekend

 

This was my best weekend yet with RQS.  Not only did she get to meet me in Marian Mode, but we went shopping for dresses together.  Hopefully, she won't get spooked when she has time to think about things by herself.

Today was a lazy day, where we stayed in our jammies until after breakfast, and then took a drive to see if the tire shop was open on a Holiday (I wanted to chat with the person in charge to see if this shop does certain work I need done.)  Of course, as I expected, the shop was closed for the holiday.  But we enjoyed getting out in the sun before tomorrow's oppressive heat comes.

If you were to think about today's image, that's the feeling we've both been craving for years.  (However, you'll never find me with a beard anymore.) Right now, I think we've found it in each other.  And I missed her when I dropped her off at the train station, barely in time to catch the train home.  Hopefully, she misses being with me as much as much as I miss being with her....

Dress Shopping

 

Today was the moment of truth.  Could RQS and I spend the whole day together with me in Marian Mode?  That was the question of the day.

We both started getting dressed around noon.  At various stages during the dressing process, I popped out to say hello.  She wasn't shocked.  However, I made sure NOT to go out to see her with my makeup on, but not my wig.  And I think that was the right decision.

Off we went to Karina Dresses in Kingston. It was a nice day for a drive, and I took it slow, so that RQS could enjoy the scenery. By the time we made it there, it was shortly after 3 pm. And that's when we both started trying on dresses.  Although I couldn't find anything that fit me perfectly (their sizes are slightly small), RQS found 2 dresses she loved.  So it was she who made the best out of the trip.  

Our next stop was in Peekskill.  We wanted to find out if ShopRite was still selling lobsters at $12/lb. If they were, we'd skip the lobster truck and cook some crustaceans on our own.  We ended up buying 3 tasty critters for me to cook.  For my own edification, I decided to find the lobster truck that was servicing the area.  And it was in the back of beyond in a place I'd never find without google maps.  

When we got home, we got comfortable while the water was getting to a boil.  Once the water was hot enough, in went the 3 lobsters.  A few minutes later, we pigged out on fresh lobster.  Instead of spending $50 on 2 lobster rolls, each containing 4-6 oz. of lobster meat, we had 3 x 1.5 lb lobsters to chow down on.  YUM!

All in all, it was a very nice day, and hopes for future nice days like this - with me in Marian mode.

Some more car shopping

 

So far, I have test driven 3 cars.  If the dealerships weren't so understandably greedy these days, I might have dropped the hammer and bought one of these cars.  No, I am not knocking the dealerships.  They are doing exactly what they should be doing when a product is in short supply - raising prices to reach a stable point on a supply/demand curve.

RQS and I stayed in most of the day, as the weather was dreary.  It was raining hard throughout the morning and early afternoon, and it was not good for taking test drives.  By 3:00 pm, the weather started getting better, and we went to Central Avenue to start our car shopping expedition.  The first of the cars I drove was a Hyundai.  As much as I liked the Kona, I felt that there was something missing.  (It is still on my list of possible purchases.)  Next was the Elantra (shown above).  I liked the car, but had my usual problem of bumping my head upon entry.  This dealer was willing to haggle a bit, but didn't seem too greedy.

The next dealer was a Honda dealer, where we tried out their HR-V.  This car said "Buy Me at the right price!"  But the salesman said that the dealership was asking $3k above MSRP.  There is no way I will pay that much as the manufacturers are ramping up production and that supply chains will soon get back to normal.  The salesman had his obligatory meeting with the salesman, and said that they had some wiggle room.  (I figure that if I offer $1k over MSRP, I could get the car for $1.5 if I hold firm.)

As you can guess, I hate paying MSRP for anything.  So I'm not in too much of a hurry for now.  But I want to get a new car purchase done by the time I leave my job.  Keep your fingers crossed....