A run to Kingston to attend a spa's grand opening.

 

I haven't seen my friend Maria for over a year, and today was the chance to say hello and catch up with her for a few minutes.  The catch, the spa she owns with two partners is up in Kingston, NY, and we were in Croton.  So going to see her for a few minutes may not have been a cost effective trip.  But it was one I wanted to do to stay in contact with a person I think is worth the effort to know.

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RQS and I got up late, and by the time we left the apartment was 3:15 pm.  This meant we could easily make it to the spa by 4:30 - 5:00 pm, and be able to have a leisurely drive home.  However, we forgot one thing - traffic.  Even with traffic, we were in Kingston (after a couple of stops) around 5:00 pm, and got to the address which was given to google maps.  One problem - the link I was sent had two addresses: the address of the business and the address of one of the owners of the business.  Guess where google sent us?  Certainly not to where we wanted to go, but to a nondescript home in one of Kingston's residential districts.

Once I realized we had a problem, I manually entered the spa's address, and google sent us through the back roads to get to the spa.  And even then we had a little bit of confusion before we got to the spa.  As we arrived, I mentioned that we were looking for Maria, and I was greeted warmly by Maria.  She introduced us to her boyfriend (when is he going to make her an "honest woman?") and showed us around the place.  Then RQS received a complimentary 15-minute facial before we left for home.  Hopefully, Maria will fit us into her schedule sometime early in the new year.

Instead of taking the thruway back home, we came down Route 9.  Even though it was pitch black outside, it was nice to see the lights in Rhinebeck on for the holidays.  On the way back, we stopped into a store to pick up a few sundries, and then stopped off at the bank and the supermarket before reaching home for the night.  

Hard to believe that we'll be on our cruise soon!!!!

Dress Shopping

 

Today was the moment of truth.  Could RQS and I spend the whole day together with me in Marian Mode?  That was the question of the day.

We both started getting dressed around noon.  At various stages during the dressing process, I popped out to say hello.  She wasn't shocked.  However, I made sure NOT to go out to see her with my makeup on, but not my wig.  And I think that was the right decision.

Off we went to Karina Dresses in Kingston. It was a nice day for a drive, and I took it slow, so that RQS could enjoy the scenery. By the time we made it there, it was shortly after 3 pm. And that's when we both started trying on dresses.  Although I couldn't find anything that fit me perfectly (their sizes are slightly small), RQS found 2 dresses she loved.  So it was she who made the best out of the trip.  

Our next stop was in Peekskill.  We wanted to find out if ShopRite was still selling lobsters at $12/lb. If they were, we'd skip the lobster truck and cook some crustaceans on our own.  We ended up buying 3 tasty critters for me to cook.  For my own edification, I decided to find the lobster truck that was servicing the area.  And it was in the back of beyond in a place I'd never find without google maps.  

When we got home, we got comfortable while the water was getting to a boil.  Once the water was hot enough, in went the 3 lobsters.  A few minutes later, we pigged out on fresh lobster.  Instead of spending $50 on 2 lobster rolls, each containing 4-6 oz. of lobster meat, we had 3 x 1.5 lb lobsters to chow down on.  YUM!

All in all, it was a very nice day, and hopes for future nice days like this - with me in Marian mode.

Shopping at the local mall. Boy, how things have changed!

Lately, I have needed to go inside several malls to do some shopping.  Gone are the days where the mall was busy most of the day.  Now, if you're "lucky", you might bump into a single shopper while walking aimlessly in the mall.  No, it's not that bad, but it seemed that way when I window shopped in some local malls.

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Years ago, the White Plains Galleria was busy from the moment it opened to the moment it closed.  Abraham & Strauss anchored one end of the mall, while J.C.Penney anchored the other.  At lunch or dinner time, one could not find a seat in the dining area. Each and every storefront was rented out with goods available for sale.  Today, the two anchor stores are gone, and the mall's owners are covering up vacant storefronts to keep the few people shopping at the mall from doing the rest of their shopping online.

White Plains is not alone in the decay of the modern mall.  In Kingston, NY, the Hudson Valley Mall is effectively vacant, with all of its major anchors gone.  (I don't want to include Target here, as it is off to the side, and easily severed from the rest of the mall.)  In Yorktown Heights, NY, the local mall lost its Sears, and is in danger of losing Macy's.  There is only one store that I patronize there (Ulta), and I'll bet that it may break its lease (along with other stores) if/when Macy's decides to shut down.  Danbury, CT is doing a little better, as at least two of its anchor stores survive.  But in JC Penney,  they have carefully hidden vacant space no longer being used inside the store, pruned in-store stock to the bone, and made one of the two checkout counters into a general customer service area.  This makes me think that this store may soon be gone.  Will any of the remaining tenants want to stay after that?

However, it's not just the big malls that are hurting.  Local strip malls are hurting too.  When I first started to commute to a job in Westchester, I passed by this strip mall.  All of the storefronts were rented out during the first few years I worked at the bank.  I'd stop by in the morning, pick up a buttered bagel at the bakery, a newspaper at the stationery store, and drop off my shirts/suits at the dry cleaners.  In the evening, I might pick up some fruit and veggies from the small market there and then go to the butcher shop a couple of doors down.  None of these shops are there any longer; most of the storefronts on this property have been vacant for years.  I wonder how the owner pays his taxes on this property, as I don't see the restaurant (not in photo) doing enough business to cover all property expenses.

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Several years, I wondered why someone might sell off a commercial property.  Today's real estate market has given us the answer.  In an era of informality, we don't need much formal wear or the places that service those garments.  In an era where fresh food is delivered to the house, why shop at a small market when you can either have it shipped to your door from Whole Foods, or go to Wegman's to pick out the foodstuffs yourself?  In an era where one reads the daily newspapers online, why stop into your local store for your newspapers or magazines?  

I expect that many shopping centers will be repurposed in the near future, some of them bulldozed for a small number of big box stores (as happened in Poughkeepsie), or to develop new housing projects.  What do you think is going to happen? Do you think this process was accelerated by the pandemic?

 

Three Dogs and a Dinner

 

Well, I started off the day with scheduling issues, and things got worse from there.  No, not "worse" in the meaning of getting closer to a train wreck that's going to happen. But worse, in the idea that things had to drop so I could have dinner with a friend.

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I don't get the chance to see my friend Maria up in the Kingston area.  She's the type of friend who accepts me as Marian or as Mario - and has always been good to me in the short time that I've known her.  So, when she invited me for dinner, I knew I was going to drop several balls. First, I was likely to be late in calling FH to confirm our plans for tomorrow. Second, I was not going to be able to make my Zoom meeting with my Texas friends.  Lastly, I was likely to be late to chat with a new online friend in Wappinger's Falls. It was worth the schedule disruption to have dinner.

Maria's house is in an old section of town.  Her house was built with materials you can't get anymore: 12" wide wood plank floors, exposed wood crossbeams supporting the upper floor, stone outer walls, and other things that I can't remember off hand.  From what she told me, the house was started in the 1700's, and expanded at least twice in the 1800's.  It's one of those old houses on which one should do as few alterations as possible, as one doesn't know what other intermediate projects will be needed to achieve a desired result.  Yet, much of the interior looks modern because of the minor changes she made to make the place more comfortable - mostly in the kitchen and bathrooms, with new paint jobs in all of the rooms.

My original plan was to get to Maria's by 5 pm, and leave by 7.  This would allow me to attend my Zoom meeting (audio only), and then be in contact with both FH and my new online friend.  Since I was running a little late, the sun was going down when I arrived.  Once I opened the gate to her yard, I was greeted by 3 overly friendly dogs.  Maria was a little apologetic about the dogs, but I was very happy to have their attention.  (I love pets, but not the responsibility of having them.) Both dinner and our conversation lasted longer than expected.  I was glad of that, as we rarely get the chance to talk due to conflicting schedules. FH rang me at 9 sharp (she has a nasty habit of being too punctual), and I called her back around 9:30.  She showed some concern that I skipped out on my Zoom meeting to be with a friend.  But I think it's more because of the pandemic than anything else.  And she has good reasons for that.  She is less comfortable with the risks of being with people during the pandemic than I am.

Hopefully, I'll be invited back again soon.  Maria is a good cook, and it is nice to enjoy a home cooked meal now and then.  (Maybe, I'll also get to see her boyfriend one day soon.)

 

 

  

 

Some dates and no prunes

 

No, this is not the Maitre D' at either of the places I ate this weekend.  However, by the time the weekend ended, my wallet was almost as empty as the place the "fellow" is holding.

FH has a job where she works a Sunday through Thursday schedule.  This means that we have both Friday and Saturday in which to get together.  However, she is too drained from her job to meet on Fridays, so Saturday become our regularly scheduled date night.  This left me free to do things on Sundays.  This weekend, I met with JM and had a second nice date with her.

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The weekend opened up on Friday night, with the tire pressure idiot light coming on after dark.  Unfortunately, I was not going to take care of this issue in the dark while dressed in a LBD for dinner with Vicki. So I drove to Milton, NY for dinner with Vicki, and figured that I'd take care of the problem in the morning.

Saturday came, and I had to find the tire pressure gauge before driving to meet FH. After inflating the tire properly, I drove to Yonkers to pick her up, and then to Rhinebeck for a nice day in the country.  From there, we crossed the Hudson to drive through Kingston and then through New Paltz.  (I wasn't going to say how well I know the area because of the ex-girlfriend, so I talked in generalities.)  I figure that one day soon, she'll likely want to stay over my place, and that we can go to Woodstock for another trip to the Little Bear.  But I digress.  By the time we made it back to Forest Hills, about 8 hours had passed and I was very tired. So I made it back to Croton, and then to bed.

The next day, I wasn't much in the mood to go out of the apartment.  However, JM and I had a late lunch date in Pelham, and I wasn't in the mood to cancel it.  When we got there, there was no way we were going to eat outdoors due to the approach of inclement weather.  It was already too windy to enjoy dining outdoors.  So we ended up eating inside, about 25+ feet away from the only other customers in the place. Again, we ate and chatted for 3 hours, and decided to meet again.  I wish I had met her before I met other ladies, as this woman is a great catch.  Yes, she's out of my league for reasons I won't discuss here.  But if she were to like me enough to have a relationship, I'd feel very lucky to have a woman I could talk with for hours at a time.  However, given my transgender nature, I always have to hedge all of my bets.

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It looks like FH and I will be spending Thanksgiving together.  Hopefully, it will be a very pleasant day.  I'll make sure that my phone is set to "do not disturb" whenever I'm with any of the ladies in my life.

 

Exercise

Lately, I've been getting out and about on days where the sun is out and when I'm not working.  I've been trying to build up my time and distance endurance before I decide to do some serious hiking with groups in the region.

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Given that in male mode, I am bald, wearing a wig and going out for a long walk doesn't make any sense.  Without makeup, my face looks masculine, and that's not the image I want to present on the trails.  So I have decided to exercise in male mode.  😢   This is a hard choice for me, but one I needed to make.

Since the quarantine began, I've been out of the house as much as Mario as I have been as Marian.  It's certainly strange to be finding some practicality for my male presentation.  But with a life like mine, I'm used to "strange" by now.  But after one outing as Marian with a little bit of blush on my face, reality hit me in the face.  If I had decided to go all the way and have FFS, plus hair transplants, I'd be out as Marian.  Yet, I'm not uncomfortable as Mario anymore.  I can live in a half and half mode.

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Recently, people have started to go outside to enjoy the outdoors.  Theaters are still closed, restaurants are only open for takeout in New York, and there are few diversions open to the public, save for walking in a local park.  And the local parks have been overrun.  In the case of Croton Dam Park (and its vicinity), the park is overflowing with cars, the road stub which once crossed the dam is packed with cars, and the overflow from that stub led to cars being parked on both sides of the road for a half mile up and down from the road stub.  The county has had to put up signs to tell the public that this overflow parking is prohibited, and that cars will be towed if necessary.  This has caused me to drive further North to enjoy my nature walks.

Virtually all of the walking I have done has been North of me, save for two walks along the Old Croton Aqueduct.  I'll save walks along the aqueduct trail for days I don't have much time to drive to a trail head for walking.  Most of the time, I've driven North to places which are (at least) an hour away from here, such as the Harlem Valley Rail Trail, Walkill Valley Rail Trail, and Dutchess County Rail Trail.  Some of these trails are well maintained, such as the Dutchess trail. And others are poorly maintained, such as the Walkill Valley trail.  I wonder what the O&W Rail Trail will look like when I go there.  However, I will need to make sure to avoid certain sections of it for personal reasons.

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Soon, I expect to see restaurants in the Hudson Valley open up, now that the region is meeting the governor's criteria for reopening the economy.  Once this happens, I'll walk a trail in the Kingston area and visit The Little Bear again.  Hopefully, they will have survived the shutdown, and will again be serving great meals.