Broadway with Vicki #2 - a short post

Last night, it was dinner with Vicki #1.  Tonight, it was Broadway with Vicki #2.  One of these days, I'll have to find a way to get these two women together in the same place at the same time.  But until then....

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Today started with me staying in bed until almost noon. And then, I took care of some bill paying before getting ready to see Vicki #2 in the city.  Around 3:00, I got up and prepared myself to go out.  Even then, I didn't allocate enough time to take the train in from Cortlandt station.  Instead, I ended up going to Croton-Harmon, where I paid twice what I needed to in order to park, as I entered the wrong spot number when paying for my parking spot.  At least, I was able to catch the express train into NYC.

Arriving at Grand Central, I decided to take a look at what they now call Grand Central Madison / LIRR East Side Access.  Unfortunately, I didn't get much of a look, as the path to the tracks went for several blocks underground before reaching the escalators that would take me to track level.  As a result, I abandoned this exploration to get a burger at Shake Shack - a big mistake.  

If you haven't been to Grand Central in a while, most of the true seating in the dining area has been removed, so that vagrants do not find a comfortable home in which to rest.  Since there are almost no "affordable" places anymore where one can sit down and eat at GCT, I decided to get a burger at Shake Shack. This was a mistake, as I waited for about 10 minutes for my burger to get cooked.  I'd have done better by picking up one of the pre-made sandwiches on the other side of food court and eating that sandwich standing up.  Luckily, I knew that it was only 90 seconds to Times Square on the shuttle, and another 10 minutes to reach the theater where I'd meet Vicki.

Vicki looks so much nicer, now that she wears a cranial prosthetic (read: wig).  But I'm not going to mention it anymore to her, as this shouldn't be a big deal for either of us.  But I digress.  Vicki mentioned that her partner had already seen this play, and she thought of me as a partner for half price tickets.  It took me a while to find Vicki, but when I did,  we went inside to see Hadestown.  I'm not normally a fan of musicals, but I am glad I saw this one.  It tells an ancient story in an up-to-date manner.  Would I see this play again?  No.  But I might recommend it to someone who likes musicals.

All too soon, it was time to go home.  Vicki took her car, and I took the local to Croton.  I was glad to make it home when I did.  My bra was starting to get uncomfortable, and like most women, I couldn't wait to strip it off when I got home for the night....

Dinner with Vicki #1 - a short post

 

The original Lefteris Gyro in Tarrytown.  This is one of my favorite go-to places when I want Greek food, and the place where I've gone with Vicki #1 most often when we want Greek food. I've had a hankering for this cuisine for a while, and it was about time to go back to sate this craving.

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Last night, I wasn't able to get much sleep.  So I was concerned that I would be over tired by the evening came.  There were only two things on my docket for today - fixing the problem with my lab test bill, and having dinner with Vicki #1. When my alarm rang at 8 am, I simply hit the snooze button (figuratively) and didn't get out of bed until 11 am.  Since I was still very tired, I tried a nap for a while.  But I had to be fully awake for the first item on my docket - the phone call to the lab test company to deal with a billing issue.

Around 3:45, I finally called the lab test company and waited for 45 minutes for a human to get on the line. This was the 3rd time I reached out to the firm, and I reached a friendly person.  Once I explained the situation (based on information from my prior 2 calls), the lady saw that my Medicare insurance number was recorded incorrectly.  But even worse, Medicare was not my primary health plan in their records.  Instead, the insurance company associated with my former employer was listed as my primary insurance company, with no secondary insurance company on file.  So, I got the lady to correct this problem, and list Medicare as my primary insurance provider and my Part-N provider as my secondary.

When I was done with the Lab Test company, it was time to get showered and dressed to meet Vicki. On my way out the door, my next door neighbor complimented me on the dress I was wearing.  It was nice to know that I look nice when presenting as a female.  But I had no time to chat - I had to get to Vicki's house.  By the time I reached Vicki, I was 30 minutes late, and was glad to have warned her that I was going to be at her place by 6:00.  About 15 minutes later, we were at Lefteris Gyro, ready to enjoy a nice Greek dinner.  As usual, we had a great chat over dinner, and all too soon it was time to go home for the evening.

Scheduling my life

 

This is a sample page taken from my online calendar.  It shows the appointments I've made where I show myself as Marian and the appointments where I show myself as Mario.  You'll notice that most of the time, you'll find me out and about as Marian (shown in green). While at other times, I am out as Mario (shown in red).  If I didn't have this calendar, I'd screw things up and appear as Marian when people expect to see Mario.

Controlling where and when people see a selected gender presentation is essential for many transgender people who are testing the waters of being out to the world.  It is not always easy- especially when one is employed and has only so much time to present as one's authentic self.  However, my use of an online calendar makes this a manageable issue, instead of one that could blow up at any time.

There will always be some risk when one lives in both masculine and feminine spaces.  People are expected to live on one side of the gender binary or the other.  But this is not always possible for the transgender person who explores his/her authentic identity.  In my case, my neighbors do not much care which version of "Me" they see.  But I live in a "Blue State" that defends my right to live as my authentic self.  Others who live elsewhere might not be as lucky as I am.

Being retired gives me many advantages.  I do not have to worry about keeping a job.  Nor do I have to worry about rushing to change from Mario into Marian when I want to socialize as a female.  Another TG person I know has moved to a "Red State" and is often mistaken for a female when presenting as a male.  Yet, this person knows her limits and lives within them.  And we are among the lucky ones. Others live in fear of what their family, friends, and employers will do if their transgender natures are exposed.  I know of one transgender woman who flip-flopped between male and female presentations until she presented as female when her client expected to see a male.  How did things work out for her? Let's say that she still has a business and that she explores her transgender nature in public.

In the end, a schedule can be an essential tool for a transgender person.  If you haven't used one to keep track of your gender presentation for the day, you should consider using one.

Musings on packing for another trip - a short post.

 

I have a problem.  Soon, I'm going to take a trip to DC, and will need to pack for a week in both gender presentations.  My luggage for the trip will be stored at RQS's place for several days before the trip. This means I must pack for the trip on the Friday before the trip, as I will need to use my breast forms up to the Thursday before the trip.

Packing for my male presentation is easy.  Packing for my female presentation is also easy.  But packing for both presentations is hard, as I must store bulky items in my luggage that will be used for when I present as female, but must be kept in storage when presenting as female.  Yet, if neither of the two people I want to meet again is able to meet me in DC, I will skip the female presentation and travel solely as Mario.

This will be the first trip that RQS and I will be together where I plan to be both Marian and Mario. What do you think I can do to make my packing easier?

Did someone recognize me from a prior job? (A short post)

 

Last night, RQS and I crossed the river and spent about 45 minutes seeing Pat, my former hypnotist at her care facility.  RQS could easily see how the two of us could get into long winded conversations, as well as how the two of us could be friends.  Today, however, was much less pleasant - it was the end of the weekend, and she had to go home.

Before RQS had to go home, we had planned to get pedicures.  So off to the nail salon we went, and we both enjoyed having our feet pampered. Once done there, we went for some pizza, and then it was off to the train station to drop her off.  Now that I was free for the rest of the day, my first stop was Walmart to pick up some cosmetics (Stick Concealer and Makeup Powder).  When I walked thru the aisles, I noticed that she shelves were picked clean.  Seeing another older woman in the same situation I was in, I started to chat with her - and we had a nice conversation for a few minutes.

My next stop was at Trader Joe's.  And this is where someone may have recognized me.  I couldn't find any bread crumbs, so I asked for help.  One of the employees (in passing) said that he thought he knew me, but I didn't respond to him.  The last thing I needed was to chat with someone in Marian mode about knowing each other in Mario mode.  To me, it's best not to have this conversation in a public place.  Yet, I wonder - could he place a name to my face?

Some tickets I could get. Others, I could not.

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered what to get someone?  Given my age and RQS's age, neither of us needs more stuff.  Instead, we need experiences of the types we couldn't have while married to our late spouses.  Both of us enjoy travel together, and both of us enjoy going to live performances.  So I look out for musicians, comedians, and theatrical performances that I think the two of us will like, and get tickets for her as one of my gifts.

For Christmas, I bought tickets to "The Play That Goes Wrong", and she loved it.  For Valentine's Day, I bought tickets to see A.J. Croce singing songs written by his dad about 50 years ago. (I was a great fan of his dad, and his death shocked me when I was much younger than I am now.)  Hopefully, this performance will do justice to his dad's work.  And for RQS's birthday, I bought tickets for us to see Sarah Millican in concert.  Given that we both want to see this comedienne, I expect that we will have a great time.

However, not all tickets are easy to get.  Nor do many of the performers I like make it to the United States that often.  For example, RQS and I tried to get tickets to see the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, and their "nearby" USA concerts are already sold out.  Ouch.  And don't get me started on Ralph McTell. I don't remember when he last toured the states, and I would love to hear him perform Streets of London in person.

There are many performers I wish I could have seen while they were touring, or while they were alive. For example, I kick myself for not seeing Ennio Morricone when he was last in New York.  Now that he has passed away, I'll have to settle for the music he left behind.  Another performer I doubt I will get the chance to see is Astrud Gilberto.  Yes, "The Girl from Ipanema" is one of my favorite songs. Since she is in her 80's, I doubt she'll be in the NYC area again.

In life, it is the experiences that count.  And they can't take away the memories of those experiences we had - especially if they are cherished by the people we share them with.

Unused Tableware and Coincidences

Years ago, my late wife bought 28 table settings with the idea (expressed to me) that she could entertain her extended family at one sitting.  Unless someone has either a large family, or a large circle of acquaintances she entertains lately, as well as a dining area large enough to entertain them, I can't see this being a reasonable purchase. 

These place settings were purchased before I met my wife, and were never used while we were married.  About a year after she died, my girlfriend and I packed these table settings into two large Rubbermaid containers, and transported them to my brother's place for storage.  My intentions were to give these place settings to my niece when she got married.  But this was not to happen, as she got married in London and is living a minimalist lifestyle unlike that of her parents and grandparents.  These place settings ended up sitting in my brother's basement for over 25 years, and didn't need to be dealt with until now.

Recently, my brother decided to deal with long deferred maintenance on his money pit of a house.  One of the things he needed to take care of was fixing the foundation of his house and doing a fresh pour of cement in the basement of his house.  This meant that everything in the basement had to be cleared out. As a result, I decided to keep 6 place settings, and give the rest to charity.

So, I drove to my brother's place and sorted through these table settings, separating them into a set of 6 for me, and a set of 22 for the charity.  Once done with that, my brother and I went to a German Restaurant in Franklin Square.  I was looking for something tasty to eat, and I noticed the lack of Sauerbraten on the menu.  (This was the last dish my wife cooked for me before she was too weak to cook anything.)   Coincidentally, It was about this time of the year when she became too ill to go to work, and the severity of her illness couldn't be denied any longer.  My memories of my late wife were getting triggered right and left. Yet, it wasn't strong feelings of sadness I felt.  Instead, it was a feeling of letting go of the past.  Part of my wife was moving on to a (hopefully) better place.

Would my late wife approve of what I did?  Who knows?  But I'm hearing no complaints from the great beyond....