T minus Two and counting

 

As I write this, it's late Friday evening, and we still have some last minute tasks to take care of before our Bermuda cruise.  This time, I have to go through the headache of making sure that everything I need is packed and ready for the trip.  This includes going for a mani-pedi sometime in the afternoon, stopping by Micro Center to pick up some electronic doodads, and getting all my luggage ready to go before Sunday morning.

- - - - - -

I completed basic packing for the trip around noon today, stuffing dresses, lingerie, and other things into both of the suitcases coming along on this trip.  (No doubt that I'll check them against a list I made tomorrow afternoon.)  But I still wasn't ready for RQS to arrive - she was coming up 2 hours earlier than usual.

It was rush, rush, rush to be ready for RQS's train.  And even then, I barely got there when she arrived at the station.  From there, it was off to the bank and then to the pizzeria, as we were both hungry.  After a quick stop at the house, we left for the mall where I had a watch battery replaced.  Unfortunately, I didn't know it at the time, but the watch was broken.  So this was a wasted trip.

- - - - - -

By the time we got home, I could have used a nice nap.  But it wasn't even 7 pm yet.  I wonder how I'll feel after of 7 days on a ship....

Bermuda Cruise 2024 #1 - Sea Day #5 (10/05/24)

 

RQS and I decided to get up late today, as this would be our last day on the ship. We didn't get moving until 10 am, and made it to the main dining room for brunch.  Instead of my usual breakfast, I decided to start with Buccatini with Clam Sauce.  As would be expected with an Italian cruise line, this dish was yummy!  If you cruise MSC in the future, try to have this dish at least once on your cruise, as you won't be disappointed.  However, if you are asked to share a table, think twice.  There are a large number of Asians who will keep to themselves if seated with Occidentals.

After brunch, it was back to the cabin to pack.  I put all my dirty clothes in my large suitcase, with the plan to unload everything into the washing machine once I get home.  RQS took a little more time, as she has yet to perfect a routine for dealing with end-of-cruise packing that can be used on 7-day cruises.  After a little rest, it was back to the buffet for one last lunch before going back to the cabin to finish packing. Once finished, it was time to rest again.  I don't know what caused us to be tired today, as we had more than enough sleep last night.  And then it was time for dinner.

It was our last trip to the main dining room, and it was Italian night.  The staff greeted the diners by singing some song as diners walked to their tables.  The tables were decked out in the colors of the Italian flag, while the wait staff wore vests and ties with the same colors.  All the highlighted foods would be found in a typical Italian restaurant, and I chose the Veal Osso Buco.  Yum!  I'll be sure to diet after the cruise ends - I feel bloated from all the tasty food we ate on board.

One thing of note: Our new table mates next to us noted that the NCL Joy made it to Bermuda the day we left, and was still in port as of Friday.  I wonder what changed with the weather forecast....?

Finally, it was time to go back to our cabin, and put our luggage outside. The next time we see these bags will be on the pier tomorrow morning.  I'll be glad to go home tomorrow, but also be sad to see this cruise end.

My last day of packing, and I still can't find some things.

 

This is one trip that I'm glad to be traveling as Mario.  I don't have the right 3-season wear to travel as Marian.  And even as Mario, I  still have problems packing clothes that would take me from Summer to Winter and back during a single day.  What makes things worse, is that I misplaced (or donated) some of the cold weather gear that I bought (or was given) when I was with XGFJ.  

- - - - - -

My mind has been spinning in regard to what unknown unknowns could trip me up.  One of those things is what happens when we get off the plane and have to go through customs.  Another is what happens when we get to the cruise ship with different documentation requirements than I've needed for all of my other trips.  And then, there are the many currency/credit card issues that I have yet to experience for the first time.  AARGH!

Once I've gone through this experience, I'll be more relaxed for future trips.  Yet, I still have to do some research for future international trips to be taken as Marian.  When I go to Bermuda, I'll try to find out for sure whether it will be safe to go there as Marian, though my ID will say Mario.  Assuming that I end up going there as Marian, I still have a goal: To cruise around the British Isles as Marian, then return home on the Queen Mary. I'll be able to enjoy "Dressing to the Nines" and live even more of my life as Marian than I could have dreamed when I was much younger.

- - - - - -

But back to packing....

Now, I'm finishing up my packing.  Most of my electronic gizmos (chargers, wires, etc.) are going in my knapsack along with a week's worth of pills.  The rest of my medicine is going in my carry on bag.  I'll have a change of clothes in the carry-on, as well as enough underwear and socks for 3 days.. All of my paperwork will be stashed in the carry-on, as that will be the safest place to store them while in transit.  Once I arrive in London, I can put the passport in my trousers for when I reach customs.

Hopefully, I haven't missed anything major.  If so, I'll be writing about it soon.

Packing is such a pain in the ass - a short post

 

If only I could fit enough clothes to last me for 17 days in a small backpack.  Sadly, this is not doable.  Instead, I packed 45 lbs. of clothing into a large suitcase and left it at RQS's place.  However, I still have to manage packing a carry-on bag and a personal bag before my cruise.

RQS noted that if we were going on a cruise out of New York, this would not be a problem.  We'd load up both carry-on and large suitcases and bring them to the pier.  This is not the case if one wants to fly across the Atlantic.  One has to worry about luggage limits imposed by one's airline of choice.  Since we're flying on Virgin Atlantic, we had to look up their rules for luggage (carry-on and checked bags) before the trip.  This is a pain.  But then, I hate air travel....

What happens if they give us trouble with carry-on bags?  What about "hand luggage"?  There are so many things to think about when one doesn't fly that often.  But once we're accustomed to flying across the Atlantic, this will quickly become second nature to us....

A nothing much to say day....

Today was a day where I did a lot of nothing, except to relax....

There was only one thing on my docket today, and that was to being RQS back to the station.  Yes, I picked up a couple of books from the library, but I could have done that tomorrow.  As it stands, I'll still have to make another run out tomorrow, as I have to order some foreign currency from the bank.

With the above being said, I planned to go out as Marian after getting a couple of things done.  But then, I had some GI Tract issues, and rested for the remainder of the day.  Of course, I got nothing done.  But I will take care of things such as laundry tomorrow before I go out.

Soon, I'll have to start packing for my upcoming cruise.  Since this will be a long distance trip, I will need to be sure that I have enough clothing to put in the laundry onboard the ship.  (I'd hate to spend $9.00/load for a small load.)  Once my large suitcase is packed, I'll bring it to RQS's place, so that I can be ready the night before our trip.  Luckily, I have two weeks to get this task done.

Before then, I intend to spend as much time as possible in Marian mode, as I'll be stuck as Mario for two weeks straight....
 

California Vacation - Day 01 (Arrival in Los Angeles)

 

Today was a day I'll remember for a while.  Not only did I have to finish packing (and I forgot a few things), but I had some experiences which were very enlightening.

- - - - - -

My plan was to finish getting ready for my trip, and catch a cab around 10 am to take me to the train station.  Well, I did just that, but forgot my "outdoor" glasses after I was halfway to the train station.  So, I asked the cabbie to bring me back home for a minute, and took the opportunity to pick up my glasses.  This detour cost me 15 minutes, but I was able to take the express train to Grand Central with all my luggage.

Before I go on too far, I have to mention that I have a carry-on suitcase, a 28" large suitcase, my CPAP, and a large personal bag in which I could stuff a lot of things if needed,  Since I'm travelling as Marian, all of my makeup, toiletry supplies and other needed items must me in the carry-on, and yet set up to go through TSA security.  So, I'm forced to wheel two heavy bags from one part of Grand Central (the original terminal) to another part (the LIRR addition) while getting some exercise in the process.  

Metro North deposited me near the escalators which connect to the LIRR zone, and I proceeded to buy a one way ticket to Jamaica ($5.50), where I would connect to the overpriced JFK Airtrain ($8.50) that would take me to Delta's terminal.  Once at terminal 4, I checked my bag and proceeded to TSA security where the first incident took place.

Lately, I've been finding that people seem to be treating me as a heavyset, tall, 60+ year old woman.  My presentation seems to be good enough that I am taken for a cisgender female much of the time.  So I was pleasantly surprised when the TSA agent said I was travelling with someone else's passport.  Once I opened up my mouth and spoke in a voice an octave lower than expected, he simply told me where to go to be scanned before entering the secure zone.

Two hours later, I was on the plane and headed to Los Angeles.  While on the plane, the flight attendant asked me if there was anything I wanted, and I said I'd like a winning lotto ticket.  This made her smile and we made some nice chit chat as two women would, but not as a man and a woman would with the same phrase.  She was very pleased to take care of my needs, and though it was purely professional, I have the feeling that in a different time and place, we'd have probably been good friends.

Once in Los Angeles, I met the fellow from Princess Cruises who took care of my bags and made sure that I got on the right shuttle bus to the hotel.  At the hotel, I was greeted by a fellow at the reception desk who was surprised to see me as Marian, but carrying Mario's ID.  We chatted, and he told me that he was also trans (showing me a picture of him in female mode).  However, he had to revert to male presentation, as his beard kept coming in with ingrown hairs.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I look for the people from Princess, as I want to make sure I know what the routine will be on Saturday morning when I take the bus to the cruise terminal....

I've started packing, as I don't have much time left.....

 

Packing for my trips isn't always an easy thing.  Even at this late date, I might still need to pack a single day's worth of male clothing because I might be corralled into seeing my uncle's friend.  Although I doubt this will happen, I have to keep this possibility in mind.

- - - - - -

California weather at this time of year is similar to that of New York. But this means that I have to prepare for both cold and hot weather.  San Francisco can be quite chilly, while San Diego can be quite warm.  Yet, there are ways I plan to deal with this on a 9-10 day trip.  First, I will select basic clothing that I can wear for 2 or 3 times before needing to be washed.  Then, I will plan my auxiliary items, such as sweaters, that will allow the basics to be practical in a wider range of temperatures.

Packing for a trip as Marian has always proven to be a complicated task.  I have to make sure that I have two sets (1 pair for each day, plus 1 pair to hold my "tuck" in) of undies, 2 bras, and appropriate tops/bottoms, dresses and socks to get me through a week or more.  If I'm gone for more than a week, I have to think about washing my wig in the sink. 

As much as I'm no longer excited about taking this trip, I will take it anyway, as it is a chance to present as Marian for more than a week at a time.  It should be fun to visit Venice Beach and Santa Monica in my authentic presentation, and make my around using the mass transit available in this city....

2023 Bermuda Cruise - Day 7 (Sea Day)

 

Saturday, November 25, 2023.

This would be our last day on the cruise ship, and we dreaded the task of packing to leave. A good part of me wishes we could have done a “Back to Back” cruise, but this would have been way too expensive for us at this time.

We awoke to sunny skies and a calm ocean - appropriate for a last day at sea. It’s always a little sad to know that a cruise is about to end. But this was a good cruise, and one we’ll take again sometime in the future - if it has the better part of 3 days and nights in Bermuda. 

Although the rooster in my cell phone crowed at 8:00, we didn’t get moving until 9:00 am. This would be the last day we could get up late, as we will have to be up and moving by dawn tomorrow.

RQS and I decided to get moving early enough to have breakfast at one of the complimentary dining rooms, and then pick up some jewelry she had bought. Instead of doing much in the public areas of the ship, we spent a quiet day in our cabin, taking care of final issues such as packing.

Around 7:30 pm, we went downstairs to our final dinner onboard ship.  As usual, we had a pleasant meal in one of the complimentary dining rooms, then proceeded to the ship's theater to watch a comedian that we saw the other day.  Sadly, he didn't have enough new material for a second show, and we left before the show ended. We were tired, and we were glad that our suitcases had already gone to the hold, so that they'd be on the pier for us to pick up in the morning.

Bored, not Board

 

For the most part, I wasn't in the mood to do much of anything today.  Although I got up at a reasonable time, it took a while before I got moving.  And when I did, I realized that I had to start packing for my cruise.  So, it was off to unload the laundry basket that has been sitting in my living room, and putting both underwear and socks into compression bags, then into my suitcase.  Yes, I could have done more packing, I figured that it would be best for me to simply develop a checklist, so that I can be sure to include what I'll need for my 7-day cruise.

4 pm came around, and I decided to get Chinese takeout (a big mistake) before the evening's co-op board meeting. I returned home, finished my meal, and then turned on the computer for a 6 pm Zoom meeting.  And this is where today's tedium came in.  We have a new member on the board who chooses to regurgitate what is being said, wasting time in the meeting.  (Sometimes, it's better to listen and not expect to pick up on everything going on in a business meeting.)  It felt that he was playing up to a teacher.  And then, he was trying to rescue a relationship without knowing why things were in trouble in the first place.  (As I said, sometimes it's best to just listen.)  I know that he was triggering some feelings, and I think it's that he wants to preserve a business relationship that we already feel may need to be broken. But enough of that....

While the meeting was going on, I was keeping my mind active by doing other things on my cellphone.  I've always had problems with long business meetings, as they are where minutes are taken and hours are lost.  As a result, I try to keep my mind active doing other things, and half-listen to what is going on when others are speaking. And today was no exception - even though I was the person taking minutes.  At least, I won't have to do this again until next month.

If I were a normal sized gal, I'd have an easier time packing.

 

My doctor has been telling me for years that I must lose some weight.  This has been one of the hardest things to do, given that I no longer burn off as much fat as I once did with my everyday activities.  An unfortunate byproduct of this is that my clothes take up more space in a carry-on than they should - especially in Marian mode.

Over the past few days, I have been trying to squeeze a week's worth of clothes into a single carry on bag, with any overflow going into a small backpack.  It was a little easier for me when I had a bag from Mystic Seaport which could be expanded at will.  (It was a great personal item to take on a plane.)  But I think that it migrated to RQS's place - and that I don't have it when I need it.  AARGH!

Sooner or later, I'll have to learn how to minimize what I pack.  But my makeup and toiletry kits take up a lot of precious space - something I wouldn't need if I traveled as Mario.  At least, I'll be traveling as Marian on this trip, and not needing to present as Mario for at least 7+ days.  I can finally get my nails done!!!  

Hopefully, I'll be able to drop a few pounds before next summer's trip....

I'm preparing to travel, and I'm missing things

 

Since I started to clean out the clutter in my apartment, I kept stumbling into the compression bags that I use for travel.  Today, I looked for these bags and couldn't find them.  AARGH!  I knew where things were in the old clutter.  But I don't know where things are in the new mess.

- - - - - -

Right now, my apartment has a vacant space where a sofa used to be.  Things which would normally be near the sofa have been pushed away, so that the new sofa can be put in place.  But this gets in the way of me accessing those compression bags.  In the game of Jenga, I'm caught between a rock place.  No matter what I move, I lose.  In the case of my apartment, if I move something, I will lose track of where it is.  And I am already upset that I can't find the costume jewelry I had in the bedroom that I moved as part of the electrical work done over a month ago.

Luckily, I sorted much of what I need for travel into two easy to find bags, and much of the stuff I will need for the trip is already in my "Go Bag".  But I think I will repack things when I get back from RQS's place, as I know that my backpack should be treated as a personal item.  This way, I can stash my pocketbook in the backpack (or in my carry-on) and retrieve it when I land in Chicago (or when I return to New York).  

- - - - - -

My upcoming trip will be the first one I take with RQS as Marian.  This will be a very interesting trip, as the women we're meeting in Chicago only know me as Marian, but know of Mario's existence.  Let's hope it all goes well.

California Vacation 2023 - Debarkation Day

 

RQS and I knew that this would be a long day. However, we didn’t know how long this day would feel to us by the time we got home.

We awoke very early in the morning, and made sure to do our last minute packing before going downstairs for breakfast. RQS wondered why there were no tablecloths on the tables and why we weren’t getting any service. Unfortunately, we went to the wrong dining room, as the easy to reach dining area would be a room used to stage people for leaving the ship. So off we went with our luggage to the back of the ship where breakfast was being served.

Once done with breakfast, it was over to the casino where we were to wait until our debarkation time. When we were called, our group got off the ship and started the long walk to our luggage already in the cruise terminal. Finding our luggage, we passed through customs very quickly, as they are now doing bio-metric screening at this port. And then, it was time to board the bus to the airport.

The two of us checked our bags, and then proceeded to TSA scanning, where RQS’s personal lubricant set off an alarm. She packed an oversized bottle in her carry-on. Ouch! So this item had to be abandoned before we could proceed to the gate. And this is where our long waits began.

One of the bits of advice we heed is to plan to take no flights home scheduled to depart before noon. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 2:20 pm, so we had to kill 3 ½ hours before boarding took place. While we waited at our gate, we heard an announcement. The pilot of another plane to New York was flying his last run, and expected to be made a big fuss over upon arrival in New York. I hope this man has a very happy retirement. But this made us more aware that we were killing time.

Eventually, RQS and I got hungry, and searched for food. Unfortunately food offerings at this terminal were both slim and expensive. But we paid the high price for our food, some of which we brought on the plane with us, as we expected no food service on the flight. This was a fortunate act, as once the plane boarded, the pilot announced that there was a ground stop in New York.. This caused our flight to be delayed for 90 minutes, giving us a Midnight (Eastern) arrival time in New York.

Once the plane took off, we had an uneventful flight. I overheard one passenger talking with a flight attendant, and found out that we could get a snack box and sandwiches when cabin service started. So, I asked the attendant about this and bought a snack box for RQS and a Chicken Sandwich for me.

Landing in New York, it was a long trek to the baggage area. I figure that RQS and I must have walked a mile between our gate and the luggage carousel. Even then, the luggage had yet to be dropped on the carousel for pickup. We still had to wait for another 15 minutes before our checked bags arrived. And then it was off to get our ride home.

Once we left the air conditioned climes in the terminal building, we entered air so thick that one would have to dice it up before breathing it. It was 80+ degrees outside with almost 100% humidity. Yecch! Summoning an Uber, it took a couple of minutes before a driver accepted our summons. But we ended up at RQS’s apartment by 1:30 am - not bad for an overly long day.









PS: We were lucky. RQS heard that NYC area weather related ground stops were still causing flight cancellations after we got home. People on these cancelled flights won't be getting home for a few more days yet. If our flight had been cancelled, I'd have asked to be on a flight to another East Coast city, then take Amtrak home from that city. I feel sorry for those people stuck out West with connections through Chicago to the East Coast - they are getting a double whammy these days. Word to the wise - if your plane is cancelled AND they can book you to a different Major Northeastern US City, consider flying there and taking Amtrak to get home. It's not perfect, but it may keep you from being stuck away from home for an unknown period of time.

Musings on packing for another trip - a short post.

 

I have a problem.  Soon, I'm going to take a trip to DC, and will need to pack for a week in both gender presentations.  My luggage for the trip will be stored at RQS's place for several days before the trip. This means I must pack for the trip on the Friday before the trip, as I will need to use my breast forms up to the Thursday before the trip.

Packing for my male presentation is easy.  Packing for my female presentation is also easy.  But packing for both presentations is hard, as I must store bulky items in my luggage that will be used for when I present as female, but must be kept in storage when presenting as female.  Yet, if neither of the two people I want to meet again is able to meet me in DC, I will skip the female presentation and travel solely as Mario.

This will be the first trip that RQS and I will be together where I plan to be both Marian and Mario. What do you think I can do to make my packing easier?

Packing for a trip is such a pain in the ass.

 

Over the past few days, I've been packing and unpacking then repacking for my upcoming cruise.  I have to be careful of what to take with me in my carry on bag, as well as worry about the weight limits for my checked bag.  Additionally, I have to be a little creative in what I consider to be my "personal item", as I will want to carry more than the airline would want me to carry into the cabin.

- - - - - -

The other day, I got an email regarding my in-flight snack/meal purchases, and I didn't respond quick enough.  As a result, I got locked out of buying what I wanted, as my favorite selections were already  sold out.  So, I'll have to pick up a bite to eat at the airport while waiting for my first flight, then hope that the snacks I bought will be enough for me as I fly from California to Hawaii.

It's been over a decade since I've flown.  And though I'm told that I shouldn't worry about things, I can't help but worry.  Will I get into trouble due to an issue with my ID?  Will I get hassled because I am gender non-conforming?  Who knows?  As they say, "in for a penny, in for a pound."  Most likely, I'm worried about too many little things.  But then, I am simply trying to be careful because this trip is expensive, and one I won't be able to do again.

Once I'm out in Hawaii, I have a decision to make.  A while back, my former therapist passed away. When I wrote to him, his (ex) wife answered my letter and said I should look her up when I get to Hawaii.  I think I will send her an email in the morning, saying that I should be out there in a few days, and mention when I will likely be available for dinner.

One thing I know, the posts I'll be making in regard to this trip should have some very interesting photos.  I expect that the recent volcano eruptions will provide for some great pictures....

I "won" the bid for an upgrade - just another expense among many.

When I booked my cruise/tour with  NCL, I wanted to spend as little money as I needed to spend for a "bucket list" trip.  In this case, I paid for a city view room to stay in when in town, and an inside cabin to stay in when on the ship.  Since there was an almost $2400 difference between the price of a balcony cabin and an inside cabin, I figured that the money I saved would more than pay for the shore excursions I planned to take.  So, when I received an offer to bid on a cabin upgrade, I figured that I'd bid as low as possible and hope that NCL would accept the bid.

Normally, getting an upgrade to a balcony cabin would be a bargain for $220 (total).  In my case, I knew enough to bid low, as the ship is sailing well below 100% capacity due to staffing issues.  Given the ship's layout, I figured that I would get a room near the pool or buffet - and I was right.  Since my upcoming Hawaii cruise is not one known for late night partying, I figured that having a "winning" bid and being assigned a cabin upgrade in a non-optimal area of the ship would be an acceptable trade off.  Only time will tell whether I was right or wrong on bidding for the upgrade. 

Right now, I am packing and unpacking things to find an optimal grouping of items in my carry-on and my larger suitcase.  So far, so good.  The one main compromise I've had to make is that I've put my swimsuit and swim forms in my large suitcase (which will be checked at the airport).  This means that if the bag gets lost in transit, I will not be able to go swimming until it is found.

The big issue I have is finding a day use hotel to rest at when the cruise ends, as I have a 12 hour wait from the time we leave the cruise ship to the time I need to be at the airport.  (Who wants to spend 12 hours at an airport doing nothing?)  So far, I've found several expensive options, and I figure that I'll call a few places directly to make sure I'm connecting to a real brick and mortar place.

Not to blame anyone, but it feels that every way I turn, I find that the logistics of this cruise keeps needing new cash infusions.  For the 3 days I am touring Honolulu, I will have to take care of my own meals.  And then, there will be the tips I pay on land and on the cruise.  Although I paid for a transfer from cruise ship to the airport, I will skip it to catch a cab to a day use hotel to sleep for a while.  Around 7 pm, I plan to leave the hotel, take a shuttle to the airport, and catch the "red eye" back home.  This hotel will likely cost me $200, plus the money for a cab from the pier to the hotel, and a cab to the airport.  

As I keep reminding myself, this is a bucket list trip - a very big item on that list.

 

I wish I had a picture of me without glasses.

NCL notified me that I had to check in for my cruise.  Although I was ready and willing to do so, I did not have a picture of me available that was suitable - all of the shots I've saved on this computer in female presentation have me wearing glasses.  So I will need to wait until the next time I'm dressed as Marian before I can take a photo of me without glasses.

Getting all the paperwork in order before a trip is a pain in the ass.  This time, I have to take care of airline check-in procedures in addition to cruise line check-in procedures. Although taking care of things isn't that difficult, more can go wrong and cause me trouble when at the airport or in Hawaii.  So I want to be sure that I have gotten things right before leaving home to go on my cruise.

Right now, I have started to arrange both my carry-on bag and my toiletry kit for my outbound travel. Even though I may not need to take off my shoes or pull out my electronics and liquids (I have trusted traveler status), I still have to follow the rules for passing through a security checkpoint.  In short, I have to be prepared for the random "SSSS" printed on the bottom of my boarding pass, whether or not I am actually subject to special screening. And then, I have to wait to get on the plane. Once I'm finally on the plane, I must be ready to be uncomfortable for the next 12 hours.  I'm lucky that I paid for confirmed seats on the aisle, as I may have a little more room to stretch out now and then. And I won't be disturbing anyone as I get out of my seat to go to the loo.   

When I last contacted Kim (Traveling Transgender), she didn't have much advice for me.  So I will likely need to talk to the TSA agent before going through the security checkpoint and ask for appropriate screening.  After I have successfully done this once, I expect I will have little trouble on the return trip.  (I'll be sure to keep emergency information on hand, lest I get stuck at the airport.)  This will be a new experience for me - Flying Pretty.  Kim has done this many times, and has written about it in her blog.  Sadly, she doesn't write much anymore, as her job now keeps her "down on the farm" much more now than in the past.

If I felt it were right for me at this time, I'd do several things.  First, I'd change my name to use the familiar version of my first name (works for both genders).  Then, I'd get partial FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) to make my face androgynous. And finally, I'd get some electrolysis done to remove my beard, and to eliminate the hairs on my back that I can't shave off by myself.  (If I had the time and money, I'd remove all the hair below the neck, save maybe my pubic hair.  But that's an expensive proposition.)  With these changes, I could get a wig styled in a way that I could go out as a female one day, and then use another wig (a toupee) for use when I want to present as a male.  Then, I could present my ID, and people would be looking at my face, and not the gender marker on the ID.

Compared to many other transgender folk, I still have it good.  I've found that most people don't give a damn about how ugly a female I am, or how fat a male I am when I present in the associated gender.  I have a girlfriend who says she loves me, and I will do what it takes to preserve the relationship - even if I slow down my journey on this transgender path....

 

Dropping off some baggage

 

 

This is going to be a short post, as I don't have that much to say today.  RQS and I will soon be going on another cruise, and I'll be dropping my big bag off at her place.  This will make it possible for me to travel to RQS's place the day before our cruise, and then catch an Uber together to the cruise terminal the next morning.

Packing luggage for male or female modes is still an art for me.  I usually pack way too much stuff, and have gotten away with it because I've been traveling on cruise ships or on Amtrak for the past decade. Somehow, I will need to learn how to pack much lighter if I want to do more traveling, as I don't want to get hit with overweight luggage fees when flying on vacation.  Because I am a heavy person, my clothing weighs more than the average person, and I need larger bags to carry the same number of garments.

Losing weight has never been easy for me, and I wish I had never met Ex-GF-M - if only because my food addiction would never have been triggered on a daily basis.  I had lost 70 pounds in a short period of time, and gained them back when with her.  Those pounds have stayed on long since we broke up, and I have to start eating more fruit and vegetables if I'm going to have a shot at weight loss.

But enough of that.

We all have to deal with the baggage from our past.  I have to deal with the memories of things I said to my late wife out of ignorance.  I have to deal with memories of hurting a best friend because I said too much about her life.  And I have to deal with memories of many more things than I want to discuss here.  This is the baggage I'll always have with me.

One thing that my former therapist taught me is that I have to learn how to forgive myself for my screw ups. I can ask others for forgiveness, but it often can't be given.  In the case of the former friend I used to talk about too much in my blogs, she couldn't deal with the pain from her past.  Now, she demands to be in control of people and things, as she fears being hurt by the ones she loves most.  Because of things we have said, neither of us trusts each other, and there is no way to rebuild any semblance of a friendship.  So sad.

In order to move forward in life, one had to drop off baggage in the proper places to move forward.  In the literal sense, I am dropping off a bag at her place, so that I can go on a cruise with her.  In the case of my former friend, I have had to accept the fact that I screwed up, forgive myself, and move forward to new friendships.  

Hopefully, my future will be better than the past I left behind....

Although my cruise is a week away, I've already started packing

 

Getting ready for a cruise is always a pain.  However, I have taken New England/Eastern Canada cruises before at this time of year, and know that I'll need mostly long sleeve shirts, a couple of short sleeve shirts, a week's worth of trousers, and all the other things a guy might need.  (Yes, I'll be in male presentation for this trip.)

This is one of those trips where I have easier than my cruise partner, RQS.  She's digging out the clothes she wore last spring, while I can pick and choose any of the male garments I have in the closet and know they will be OK.  However, it'll be much easier for me to pack for my Hawaii cruise, as I have enough summer clothes (lightweight dresses, etc.) that I can choose from to wear in the Hawaiian climate.  Additionally, I have started to view YouTube videos on what to pack for a Hawaiian trip, and have learned a couple of things in advance of need.  (Thank you, RQS for the summer hat!  It will be a big help when I'm out in the sun....)

Luckily, I was able to install the ArriveCan app on my cell phone without any problems.  I'll have to update it with my Covid Test status within 3 days of my cruise's departure.  (I can only imagine what I'd have to deal with if I still cruised with FCP.  After she forgot her cruise documents on one of our cruises, I had to be extra careful to make sure that she remembered to print off her eDocs before cruising.)  RQS and I seem to be a better fit as traveling partners, as neither of us are making the travel mistakes that novice travelers would make, nor did we get each other upset when we encountered problems on out trip to Washington, DC.

As you can guess, I over pack, as I don't have to worry about weight limits when cruising out of New York.  However, I'll need to buy an electronic luggage scale before I take my Hawaii trip.  (And that's only one of the things I'll need to buy before that cruise.)  I only wonder if RQS will enjoy cruising after this first cruise together....

Bahamas Cruise - Day 8 (Debarkation)

 

I woke up very early and packed.  Part of me wished I could safely go back to sleep.  But I knew better.  If I had taken the opportunity to go back to sleep at 5:00 am, I'd have missed the above shot, as the ship made its way through New York harbor.

When 7:00 am came, I made my way to the main dining room, and had a leisurely breakfast.  About an hour later, I said goodbye to some of the staff there, and made my way to the atrium to wait.  This was not a day to wear a dress - unless it was treated as a longish tunic.  And that's what I did.  I didn't stand out. Eventually, my luggage tag color was called (there were not many of us), and I made my way off the ship for the last time, and into the ship terminal.

Entering the terminal, I knew that my large bag should be in the "gray" luggage section.  But it wasn't.  This could be a big problem for me!  I had so much stuff that would be impossible to replace at short notice in that bag.  Thankfully, I asked for assistance.  And 20 minutes later, my suitcase was found. Then it was off to customs (where there were only 3 stations servicing our ship's passengers) where I waited on line for another 15 minutes before being free to catch a cab outside.  You'll notice that I hadn't mentioned that I have masculine ID, but was presenting as a female.  I've done this enough times, that it's not a big deal to me or the customs agent.  Hopefully, newcomers to our "tribe" will see this and overcome their fears of traveling in their authentic gender.

The cab ride back to Grand Central was uneventful, save that I noticed that the "clock" wasn't ticking.  I ended up getting charged the same for my ride to Grans Central, as I was charged "on the clock" coming from Grand Central.  (I'll have to ask if there's a flat rate from the cruise ship terminal to certain NYC destinations.)  And I was again lucky - I had 15 minutes to find the train to Croton.  And less than 90 minutes later, I was home....

 

PS:  It seems as if I accidentally grabbed someone else's "App-Hailed" ride.  This explains the flat rate of $20 to go from the Cruise Terminal to Grand Central.

PPS: It was so much nicer at the end of this cruise NOT to be concerned about a former cruise partner's feelings about waking up early on debarkation day.

Bahamas Cruise - Day 6 (Sea Day - Christmas Eve)

 

The above is typical of the views from the ship on Christmas Eve.  One could almost imagine someone reciting "It was the night before Christmas..." in the Gem's atrium to a bunch of young children.  However, none were on this cruise, as the ship was only accepting vaccinated passengers.  So, the only things that might have given away that Christmas was near were Christmas decorations like the tableau below found in the atrium.

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Since the cruise was about to end in two days, I decided to start packing.my bags.  It's too bad that I didn't take pictures of the mess that had to be fit into my luggage.  Luckily, I had no space wasting souvenirs to bring home.  Instead, I had clothing that could get wrinkled, as my dresses, leggings, underwear and socks would all be going in the laundry when I got home.  

Being that this was a sea day, I considered going in the hot tub one last time.  But I decided not to, as I wanted to bring home a dry swimsuit. Instead, I decided to do some reading and watch a movie.  One problem - the communications system for the rear of the boat (maybe just my floor) was out.  I couldn't watch TV, nor could I call my steward to get help.  So I went down to guest services and explained the situation.  On the way back to my cabin, I met another steward - and his phone was out. The problem was localized, and not of a critical nature.  Sooner or later, TV would be restored, and that was fine with me.  I could watch a movie saved on my iPad.

Walking through the halls, I noticed a lot of hang tags like the one below:

I never saw one on doors where I knew people occupied the cabins.  Therefore, I came to  simple conclusion: These cabins were unoccupied.  Given the number of these hang tags found on the second to last day of the cruise, I figured that the ship sailed at 40% (or less) of capacity.

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So far, this had been a wonderful trip.  I had a great time.  Yet, I could say that I did almost nothing but eat and sleep.  I'd miss the crew when I had to leave, as this was the first time I really noticed any of them - even if I couldn't remember any of their names.