2023 Bermuda Cruise - Day 7 (Sea Day)

 

Saturday, November 25, 2023.

This would be our last day on the cruise ship, and we dreaded the task of packing to leave. A good part of me wishes we could have done a “Back to Back” cruise, but this would have been way too expensive for us at this time.

We awoke to sunny skies and a calm ocean - appropriate for a last day at sea. It’s always a little sad to know that a cruise is about to end. But this was a good cruise, and one we’ll take again sometime in the future - if it has the better part of 3 days and nights in Bermuda. 

Although the rooster in my cell phone crowed at 8:00, we didn’t get moving until 9:00 am. This would be the last day we could get up late, as we will have to be up and moving by dawn tomorrow.

RQS and I decided to get moving early enough to have breakfast at one of the complimentary dining rooms, and then pick up some jewelry she had bought. Instead of doing much in the public areas of the ship, we spent a quiet day in our cabin, taking care of final issues such as packing.

Around 7:30 pm, we went downstairs to our final dinner onboard ship.  As usual, we had a pleasant meal in one of the complimentary dining rooms, then proceeded to the ship's theater to watch a comedian that we saw the other day.  Sadly, he didn't have enough new material for a second show, and we left before the show ended. We were tired, and we were glad that our suitcases had already gone to the hold, so that they'd be on the pier for us to pick up in the morning.

Bored, not Board

 

For the most part, I wasn't in the mood to do much of anything today.  Although I got up at a reasonable time, it took a while before I got moving.  And when I did, I realized that I had to start packing for my cruise.  So, it was off to unload the laundry basket that has been sitting in my living room, and putting both underwear and socks into compression bags, then into my suitcase.  Yes, I could have done more packing, I figured that it would be best for me to simply develop a checklist, so that I can be sure to include what I'll need for my 7-day cruise.

4 pm came around, and I decided to get Chinese takeout (a big mistake) before the evening's co-op board meeting. I returned home, finished my meal, and then turned on the computer for a 6 pm Zoom meeting.  And this is where today's tedium came in.  We have a new member on the board who chooses to regurgitate what is being said, wasting time in the meeting.  (Sometimes, it's better to listen and not expect to pick up on everything going on in a business meeting.)  It felt that he was playing up to a teacher.  And then, he was trying to rescue a relationship without knowing why things were in trouble in the first place.  (As I said, sometimes it's best to just listen.)  I know that he was triggering some feelings, and I think it's that he wants to preserve a business relationship that we already feel may need to be broken. But enough of that....

While the meeting was going on, I was keeping my mind active by doing other things on my cellphone.  I've always had problems with long business meetings, as they are where minutes are taken and hours are lost.  As a result, I try to keep my mind active doing other things, and half-listen to what is going on when others are speaking. And today was no exception - even though I was the person taking minutes.  At least, I won't have to do this again until next month.

If I were a normal sized gal, I'd have an easier time packing.

 

My doctor has been telling me for years that I must lose some weight.  This has been one of the hardest things to do, given that I no longer burn off as much fat as I once did with my everyday activities.  An unfortunate byproduct of this is that my clothes take up more space in a carry-on than they should - especially in Marian mode.

Over the past few days, I have been trying to squeeze a week's worth of clothes into a single carry on bag, with any overflow going into a small backpack.  It was a little easier for me when I had a bag from Mystic Seaport which could be expanded at will.  (It was a great personal item to take on a plane.)  But I think that it migrated to RQS's place - and that I don't have it when I need it.  AARGH!

Sooner or later, I'll have to learn how to minimize what I pack.  But my makeup and toiletry kits take up a lot of precious space - something I wouldn't need if I traveled as Mario.  At least, I'll be traveling as Marian on this trip, and not needing to present as Mario for at least 7+ days.  I can finally get my nails done!!!  

Hopefully, I'll be able to drop a few pounds before next summer's trip....

I'm preparing to travel, and I'm missing things

 

Since I started to clean out the clutter in my apartment, I kept stumbling into the compression bags that I use for travel.  Today, I looked for these bags and couldn't find them.  AARGH!  I knew where things were in the old clutter.  But I don't know where things are in the new mess.

- - - - - -

Right now, my apartment has a vacant space where a sofa used to be.  Things which would normally be near the sofa have been pushed away, so that the new sofa can be put in place.  But this gets in the way of me accessing those compression bags.  In the game of Jenga, I'm caught between a rock place.  No matter what I move, I lose.  In the case of my apartment, if I move something, I will lose track of where it is.  And I am already upset that I can't find the costume jewelry I had in the bedroom that I moved as part of the electrical work done over a month ago.

Luckily, I sorted much of what I need for travel into two easy to find bags, and much of the stuff I will need for the trip is already in my "Go Bag".  But I think I will repack things when I get back from RQS's place, as I know that my backpack should be treated as a personal item.  This way, I can stash my pocketbook in the backpack (or in my carry-on) and retrieve it when I land in Chicago (or when I return to New York).  

- - - - - -

My upcoming trip will be the first one I take with RQS as Marian.  This will be a very interesting trip, as the women we're meeting in Chicago only know me as Marian, but know of Mario's existence.  Let's hope it all goes well.

California Vacation 2023 - Debarkation Day

 

RQS and I knew that this would be a long day. However, we didn’t know how long this day would feel to us by the time we got home.

We awoke very early in the morning, and made sure to do our last minute packing before going downstairs for breakfast. RQS wondered why there were no tablecloths on the tables and why we weren’t getting any service. Unfortunately, we went to the wrong dining room, as the easy to reach dining area would be a room used to stage people for leaving the ship. So off we went with our luggage to the back of the ship where breakfast was being served.

Once done with breakfast, it was over to the casino where we were to wait until our debarkation time. When we were called, our group got off the ship and started the long walk to our luggage already in the cruise terminal. Finding our luggage, we passed through customs very quickly, as they are now doing bio-metric screening at this port. And then, it was time to board the bus to the airport.

The two of us checked our bags, and then proceeded to TSA scanning, where RQS’s personal lubricant set off an alarm. She packed an oversized bottle in her carry-on. Ouch! So this item had to be abandoned before we could proceed to the gate. And this is where our long waits began.

One of the bits of advice we heed is to plan to take no flights home scheduled to depart before noon. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 2:20 pm, so we had to kill 3 ½ hours before boarding took place. While we waited at our gate, we heard an announcement. The pilot of another plane to New York was flying his last run, and expected to be made a big fuss over upon arrival in New York. I hope this man has a very happy retirement. But this made us more aware that we were killing time.

Eventually, RQS and I got hungry, and searched for food. Unfortunately food offerings at this terminal were both slim and expensive. But we paid the high price for our food, some of which we brought on the plane with us, as we expected no food service on the flight. This was a fortunate act, as once the plane boarded, the pilot announced that there was a ground stop in New York.. This caused our flight to be delayed for 90 minutes, giving us a Midnight (Eastern) arrival time in New York.

Once the plane took off, we had an uneventful flight. I overheard one passenger talking with a flight attendant, and found out that we could get a snack box and sandwiches when cabin service started. So, I asked the attendant about this and bought a snack box for RQS and a Chicken Sandwich for me.

Landing in New York, it was a long trek to the baggage area. I figure that RQS and I must have walked a mile between our gate and the luggage carousel. Even then, the luggage had yet to be dropped on the carousel for pickup. We still had to wait for another 15 minutes before our checked bags arrived. And then it was off to get our ride home.

Once we left the air conditioned climes in the terminal building, we entered air so thick that one would have to dice it up before breathing it. It was 80+ degrees outside with almost 100% humidity. Yecch! Summoning an Uber, it took a couple of minutes before a driver accepted our summons. But we ended up at RQS’s apartment by 1:30 am - not bad for an overly long day.









PS: We were lucky. RQS heard that NYC area weather related ground stops were still causing flight cancellations after we got home. People on these cancelled flights won't be getting home for a few more days yet. If our flight had been cancelled, I'd have asked to be on a flight to another East Coast city, then take Amtrak home from that city. I feel sorry for those people stuck out West with connections through Chicago to the East Coast - they are getting a double whammy these days. Word to the wise - if your plane is cancelled AND they can book you to a different Major Northeastern US City, consider flying there and taking Amtrak to get home. It's not perfect, but it may keep you from being stuck away from home for an unknown period of time.

Musings on packing for another trip - a short post.

 

I have a problem.  Soon, I'm going to take a trip to DC, and will need to pack for a week in both gender presentations.  My luggage for the trip will be stored at RQS's place for several days before the trip. This means I must pack for the trip on the Friday before the trip, as I will need to use my breast forms up to the Thursday before the trip.

Packing for my male presentation is easy.  Packing for my female presentation is also easy.  But packing for both presentations is hard, as I must store bulky items in my luggage that will be used for when I present as female, but must be kept in storage when presenting as female.  Yet, if neither of the two people I want to meet again is able to meet me in DC, I will skip the female presentation and travel solely as Mario.

This will be the first trip that RQS and I will be together where I plan to be both Marian and Mario. What do you think I can do to make my packing easier?

Packing for a trip is such a pain in the ass.

 

Over the past few days, I've been packing and unpacking then repacking for my upcoming cruise.  I have to be careful of what to take with me in my carry on bag, as well as worry about the weight limits for my checked bag.  Additionally, I have to be a little creative in what I consider to be my "personal item", as I will want to carry more than the airline would want me to carry into the cabin.

- - - - - -

The other day, I got an email regarding my in-flight snack/meal purchases, and I didn't respond quick enough.  As a result, I got locked out of buying what I wanted, as my favorite selections were already  sold out.  So, I'll have to pick up a bite to eat at the airport while waiting for my first flight, then hope that the snacks I bought will be enough for me as I fly from California to Hawaii.

It's been over a decade since I've flown.  And though I'm told that I shouldn't worry about things, I can't help but worry.  Will I get into trouble due to an issue with my ID?  Will I get hassled because I am gender non-conforming?  Who knows?  As they say, "in for a penny, in for a pound."  Most likely, I'm worried about too many little things.  But then, I am simply trying to be careful because this trip is expensive, and one I won't be able to do again.

Once I'm out in Hawaii, I have a decision to make.  A while back, my former therapist passed away. When I wrote to him, his (ex) wife answered my letter and said I should look her up when I get to Hawaii.  I think I will send her an email in the morning, saying that I should be out there in a few days, and mention when I will likely be available for dinner.

One thing I know, the posts I'll be making in regard to this trip should have some very interesting photos.  I expect that the recent volcano eruptions will provide for some great pictures....

I "won" the bid for an upgrade - just another expense among many.

When I booked my cruise/tour with  NCL, I wanted to spend as little money as I needed to spend for a "bucket list" trip.  In this case, I paid for a city view room to stay in when in town, and an inside cabin to stay in when on the ship.  Since there was an almost $2400 difference between the price of a balcony cabin and an inside cabin, I figured that the money I saved would more than pay for the shore excursions I planned to take.  So, when I received an offer to bid on a cabin upgrade, I figured that I'd bid as low as possible and hope that NCL would accept the bid.

Normally, getting an upgrade to a balcony cabin would be a bargain for $220 (total).  In my case, I knew enough to bid low, as the ship is sailing well below 100% capacity due to staffing issues.  Given the ship's layout, I figured that I would get a room near the pool or buffet - and I was right.  Since my upcoming Hawaii cruise is not one known for late night partying, I figured that having a "winning" bid and being assigned a cabin upgrade in a non-optimal area of the ship would be an acceptable trade off.  Only time will tell whether I was right or wrong on bidding for the upgrade. 

Right now, I am packing and unpacking things to find an optimal grouping of items in my carry-on and my larger suitcase.  So far, so good.  The one main compromise I've had to make is that I've put my swimsuit and swim forms in my large suitcase (which will be checked at the airport).  This means that if the bag gets lost in transit, I will not be able to go swimming until it is found.

The big issue I have is finding a day use hotel to rest at when the cruise ends, as I have a 12 hour wait from the time we leave the cruise ship to the time I need to be at the airport.  (Who wants to spend 12 hours at an airport doing nothing?)  So far, I've found several expensive options, and I figure that I'll call a few places directly to make sure I'm connecting to a real brick and mortar place.

Not to blame anyone, but it feels that every way I turn, I find that the logistics of this cruise keeps needing new cash infusions.  For the 3 days I am touring Honolulu, I will have to take care of my own meals.  And then, there will be the tips I pay on land and on the cruise.  Although I paid for a transfer from cruise ship to the airport, I will skip it to catch a cab to a day use hotel to sleep for a while.  Around 7 pm, I plan to leave the hotel, take a shuttle to the airport, and catch the "red eye" back home.  This hotel will likely cost me $200, plus the money for a cab from the pier to the hotel, and a cab to the airport.  

As I keep reminding myself, this is a bucket list trip - a very big item on that list.

 

I wish I had a picture of me without glasses.

NCL notified me that I had to check in for my cruise.  Although I was ready and willing to do so, I did not have a picture of me available that was suitable - all of the shots I've saved on this computer in female presentation have me wearing glasses.  So I will need to wait until the next time I'm dressed as Marian before I can take a photo of me without glasses.

Getting all the paperwork in order before a trip is a pain in the ass.  This time, I have to take care of airline check-in procedures in addition to cruise line check-in procedures. Although taking care of things isn't that difficult, more can go wrong and cause me trouble when at the airport or in Hawaii.  So I want to be sure that I have gotten things right before leaving home to go on my cruise.

Right now, I have started to arrange both my carry-on bag and my toiletry kit for my outbound travel. Even though I may not need to take off my shoes or pull out my electronics and liquids (I have trusted traveler status), I still have to follow the rules for passing through a security checkpoint.  In short, I have to be prepared for the random "SSSS" printed on the bottom of my boarding pass, whether or not I am actually subject to special screening. And then, I have to wait to get on the plane. Once I'm finally on the plane, I must be ready to be uncomfortable for the next 12 hours.  I'm lucky that I paid for confirmed seats on the aisle, as I may have a little more room to stretch out now and then. And I won't be disturbing anyone as I get out of my seat to go to the loo.   

When I last contacted Kim (Traveling Transgender), she didn't have much advice for me.  So I will likely need to talk to the TSA agent before going through the security checkpoint and ask for appropriate screening.  After I have successfully done this once, I expect I will have little trouble on the return trip.  (I'll be sure to keep emergency information on hand, lest I get stuck at the airport.)  This will be a new experience for me - Flying Pretty.  Kim has done this many times, and has written about it in her blog.  Sadly, she doesn't write much anymore, as her job now keeps her "down on the farm" much more now than in the past.

If I felt it were right for me at this time, I'd do several things.  First, I'd change my name to use the familiar version of my first name (works for both genders).  Then, I'd get partial FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) to make my face androgynous. And finally, I'd get some electrolysis done to remove my beard, and to eliminate the hairs on my back that I can't shave off by myself.  (If I had the time and money, I'd remove all the hair below the neck, save maybe my pubic hair.  But that's an expensive proposition.)  With these changes, I could get a wig styled in a way that I could go out as a female one day, and then use another wig (a toupee) for use when I want to present as a male.  Then, I could present my ID, and people would be looking at my face, and not the gender marker on the ID.

Compared to many other transgender folk, I still have it good.  I've found that most people don't give a damn about how ugly a female I am, or how fat a male I am when I present in the associated gender.  I have a girlfriend who says she loves me, and I will do what it takes to preserve the relationship - even if I slow down my journey on this transgender path....

 

Dropping off some baggage

 

 

This is going to be a short post, as I don't have that much to say today.  RQS and I will soon be going on another cruise, and I'll be dropping my big bag off at her place.  This will make it possible for me to travel to RQS's place the day before our cruise, and then catch an Uber together to the cruise terminal the next morning.

Packing luggage for male or female modes is still an art for me.  I usually pack way too much stuff, and have gotten away with it because I've been traveling on cruise ships or on Amtrak for the past decade. Somehow, I will need to learn how to pack much lighter if I want to do more traveling, as I don't want to get hit with overweight luggage fees when flying on vacation.  Because I am a heavy person, my clothing weighs more than the average person, and I need larger bags to carry the same number of garments.

Losing weight has never been easy for me, and I wish I had never met Ex-GF-M - if only because my food addiction would never have been triggered on a daily basis.  I had lost 70 pounds in a short period of time, and gained them back when with her.  Those pounds have stayed on long since we broke up, and I have to start eating more fruit and vegetables if I'm going to have a shot at weight loss.

But enough of that.

We all have to deal with the baggage from our past.  I have to deal with the memories of things I said to my late wife out of ignorance.  I have to deal with memories of hurting a best friend because I said too much about her life.  And I have to deal with memories of many more things than I want to discuss here.  This is the baggage I'll always have with me.

One thing that my former therapist taught me is that I have to learn how to forgive myself for my screw ups. I can ask others for forgiveness, but it often can't be given.  In the case of the former friend I used to talk about too much in my blogs, she couldn't deal with the pain from her past.  Now, she demands to be in control of people and things, as she fears being hurt by the ones she loves most.  Because of things we have said, neither of us trusts each other, and there is no way to rebuild any semblance of a friendship.  So sad.

In order to move forward in life, one had to drop off baggage in the proper places to move forward.  In the literal sense, I am dropping off a bag at her place, so that I can go on a cruise with her.  In the case of my former friend, I have had to accept the fact that I screwed up, forgive myself, and move forward to new friendships.  

Hopefully, my future will be better than the past I left behind....

Although my cruise is a week away, I've already started packing

 

Getting ready for a cruise is always a pain.  However, I have taken New England/Eastern Canada cruises before at this time of year, and know that I'll need mostly long sleeve shirts, a couple of short sleeve shirts, a week's worth of trousers, and all the other things a guy might need.  (Yes, I'll be in male presentation for this trip.)

This is one of those trips where I have easier than my cruise partner, RQS.  She's digging out the clothes she wore last spring, while I can pick and choose any of the male garments I have in the closet and know they will be OK.  However, it'll be much easier for me to pack for my Hawaii cruise, as I have enough summer clothes (lightweight dresses, etc.) that I can choose from to wear in the Hawaiian climate.  Additionally, I have started to view YouTube videos on what to pack for a Hawaiian trip, and have learned a couple of things in advance of need.  (Thank you, RQS for the summer hat!  It will be a big help when I'm out in the sun....)

Luckily, I was able to install the ArriveCan app on my cell phone without any problems.  I'll have to update it with my Covid Test status within 3 days of my cruise's departure.  (I can only imagine what I'd have to deal with if I still cruised with FCP.  After she forgot her cruise documents on one of our cruises, I had to be extra careful to make sure that she remembered to print off her eDocs before cruising.)  RQS and I seem to be a better fit as traveling partners, as neither of us are making the travel mistakes that novice travelers would make, nor did we get each other upset when we encountered problems on out trip to Washington, DC.

As you can guess, I over pack, as I don't have to worry about weight limits when cruising out of New York.  However, I'll need to buy an electronic luggage scale before I take my Hawaii trip.  (And that's only one of the things I'll need to buy before that cruise.)  I only wonder if RQS will enjoy cruising after this first cruise together....

Bahamas Cruise - Day 8 (Debarkation)

 

I woke up very early and packed.  Part of me wished I could safely go back to sleep.  But I knew better.  If I had taken the opportunity to go back to sleep at 5:00 am, I'd have missed the above shot, as the ship made its way through New York harbor.

When 7:00 am came, I made my way to the main dining room, and had a leisurely breakfast.  About an hour later, I said goodbye to some of the staff there, and made my way to the atrium to wait.  This was not a day to wear a dress - unless it was treated as a longish tunic.  And that's what I did.  I didn't stand out. Eventually, my luggage tag color was called (there were not many of us), and I made my way off the ship for the last time, and into the ship terminal.

Entering the terminal, I knew that my large bag should be in the "gray" luggage section.  But it wasn't.  This could be a big problem for me!  I had so much stuff that would be impossible to replace at short notice in that bag.  Thankfully, I asked for assistance.  And 20 minutes later, my suitcase was found. Then it was off to customs (where there were only 3 stations servicing our ship's passengers) where I waited on line for another 15 minutes before being free to catch a cab outside.  You'll notice that I hadn't mentioned that I have masculine ID, but was presenting as a female.  I've done this enough times, that it's not a big deal to me or the customs agent.  Hopefully, newcomers to our "tribe" will see this and overcome their fears of traveling in their authentic gender.

The cab ride back to Grand Central was uneventful, save that I noticed that the "clock" wasn't ticking.  I ended up getting charged the same for my ride to Grans Central, as I was charged "on the clock" coming from Grand Central.  (I'll have to ask if there's a flat rate from the cruise ship terminal to certain NYC destinations.)  And I was again lucky - I had 15 minutes to find the train to Croton.  And less than 90 minutes later, I was home....

 

PS:  It seems as if I accidentally grabbed someone else's "App-Hailed" ride.  This explains the flat rate of $20 to go from the Cruise Terminal to Grand Central.

PPS: It was so much nicer at the end of this cruise NOT to be concerned about a former cruise partner's feelings about waking up early on debarkation day.

Bahamas Cruise - Day 6 (Sea Day - Christmas Eve)

 

The above is typical of the views from the ship on Christmas Eve.  One could almost imagine someone reciting "It was the night before Christmas..." in the Gem's atrium to a bunch of young children.  However, none were on this cruise, as the ship was only accepting vaccinated passengers.  So, the only things that might have given away that Christmas was near were Christmas decorations like the tableau below found in the atrium.

- - - - - -

Since the cruise was about to end in two days, I decided to start packing.my bags.  It's too bad that I didn't take pictures of the mess that had to be fit into my luggage.  Luckily, I had no space wasting souvenirs to bring home.  Instead, I had clothing that could get wrinkled, as my dresses, leggings, underwear and socks would all be going in the laundry when I got home.  

Being that this was a sea day, I considered going in the hot tub one last time.  But I decided not to, as I wanted to bring home a dry swimsuit. Instead, I decided to do some reading and watch a movie.  One problem - the communications system for the rear of the boat (maybe just my floor) was out.  I couldn't watch TV, nor could I call my steward to get help.  So I went down to guest services and explained the situation.  On the way back to my cabin, I met another steward - and his phone was out. The problem was localized, and not of a critical nature.  Sooner or later, TV would be restored, and that was fine with me.  I could watch a movie saved on my iPad.

Walking through the halls, I noticed a lot of hang tags like the one below:

I never saw one on doors where I knew people occupied the cabins.  Therefore, I came to  simple conclusion: These cabins were unoccupied.  Given the number of these hang tags found on the second to last day of the cruise, I figured that the ship sailed at 40% (or less) of capacity.

- - - - - -

So far, this had been a wonderful trip.  I had a great time.  Yet, I could say that I did almost nothing but eat and sleep.  I'd miss the crew when I had to leave, as this was the first time I really noticed any of them - even if I couldn't remember any of their names.