I may never stay at the Tropicana in Atlantic City again.

 

When XGFJ and I were dating, we went to Atlantic City several times and stayed at the Tropicana. In the past, I'd think this place gave good value for prices charged - even with the nonsense "resort fee" tacked on to the bill.  Today, I have the exact opposite opinion, in part, because the hotel part of the complex is not user friendly.

- - - - - -

On Sunday, RQS and I decided to spend an overnight in Atlantic City, so that we could visit sites important to her and her late husband.  As usual, I did the driving, and it took us roughly 4 hours to make it from Northern Westchester to Atlantic City. And that's where our problems began....

Arriving in AC, we didn't know where the self-park lot was for the hotel (they have two).  Signage pointed to one, while we should have been directed to the other lot.  (That was forgivable, but is another issue.)  So we parked in the self-park lot that I was familiar with, and proceeded to the check-in area for the hotel. That's where our first frustration occurred.  Instead of having a human at a check-in desk, they only had machines.  It took a while for us to figure things out, but we got our room keys with some printed documentation.

At this point, we knew we had to go to the Chelsea Tower, but there was no signage from where we were to find our way there.  We asked one person, and he only pointed us in a direction, as he was not fluent in the English language.  So I ended up asking people at the next store how to get there, and they gave me the information needed.  AARGH! Upper management has made the hotel a human unfriendly experience, and it started to leave a disgusting taste in our mouths.  We did find our room, and then RQS went to the beach for the sunset.

Not everything was bad with the Tropicana, it was just second rate at best.  For example, the grill surrounding the HVAC equipment was not secured correctly.  But the AC unit did cool off the room to a desired temperature.  We had an ice bucket for the room, but the ice machine was on the floor below us.  We had a refrigerator in the room, but it was not working.  Although the bed was comfortable, the mattress and bed spring slid around on the bed platform when I was getting dressed.  No good thing was good in its own right, save maybe the restaurant we ate at.  The Chinese restaurant in the Quarter was very good, and we'd both go there again.

The next morning, we had our next set of problems at the hotel.  We had no information on how and where to check out.  We saw no check-in/check-out kiosks.  We saw no hotel lobby.  We saw no information posted anywhere on how to check out.  So RQS called the hotel staff for information, and they said to go to the main lobby.  But where was that?  No humans were in any of the expected places, nor was there adequate signage to direct us to that lobby.  The person at the other end of the line spoke in heavily accented English, and had a hard time understanding RQS's simple request.  By this time we were totally frustrated, and we went to the same check-in/check-out kiosks to check out - and couldn't complete the check-out process.  At this point, we were totally frustrated, and decided to leave and let things sort themselves out.  In the elevator, we met another couple who had the same problem we did. So we knew this was not a problem limited to us.

Later on, when we were in Ocean Grove, RQS checked her email - and they were billing her for 2 days' lodging.  RQS was upset enough that we agreed to try to get this fixed at my place, when we've had a chance to rest. And we took care of RQS's business in Ocean Grove before meandering back home. Yet, this was not the end of the story.  RQS called the hotel, and they referred her to the billing department, knowing it was closed for the day.  AARGH!  If RQS were prone to hair pulling, she'd have less hair than I do as a male. So, she let it all out in an inquiry form on the Tropicana's site, and I hope she'll get this fixed.  Otherwise, she'll deal with her bank regarding the incorrect charge.

 

PS: The hotel contacted RQS a day later and fixed the problem.  Although the problem was resolved, it still left a bad taste in our mouths due to the aggravation we dealt with that day.

I miss my former boss - a short post

 

Here is the face of a good man who meant a lot to people outside his family.  His life was cut short by a drunken hit-and-run driver,  But you may wonder, why am I making note of him here?

Well, this good man was a voice of calm in a sea of confusion.  When I first met him, the bank I worked for went through a nasty hostile takeover battle, and he was one of the people who had to earn the trust of the new people he supervised.  Over the years he worked for the bank, he did just that and was respected by all that knew him.

What most people didn't see is that he was quietly able to preserve (for a while) the careers of several people who worked for him when the next corporate merger occurred.  He made sure that the people taking over our area knew the value of a handful of key employees (myself included) that were needed to keep the technology infrastructure running.  He could have survived as well, but he didn't want to relocate himself again, this time to a city he hated.

Since that time, we stayed in contact over the years, and we met for lunch on the day that I was laid off from the bank.  (That was a weird coincidence!) We'd get together at the Cheesecake Factory in West Nyack, a place which was equidistant from our houses. And when Covid hit, we'd meet via Zoom.  Who knew that when I tried to set up the next Zoom meeting, I'd find out of his passing?

I was lucky to meet this man's family sitting Shiva.  I only wish I could have met them while he was alive. I told the family about things I knew about him, and they shard things they knew about me and the office. And all too soon, we had to part ways.

As much as I am not much of a believer in the afterlife, I do believe that if there is one, he will be a good place.  At least, I hope so....

They're coming to take us away, oh no!

 

While semi-conscious this morning, I stumbled into a news article that disturbed me.  It concerned a Texas library removing LGBT books from the shelves, and a Federal judge ordering their replacement.  As much as I want to be surprised to see these things happen, I am not.  The radical right has decided to stop going after the whole of the LGBT community and start to pick on a segment of the community that has a hard time being in stealth mode - us transgenders.

One of the first things that authoritarian wannabe groups try to do is to censor historical information. By purging information from the historical record that conflicts with the group's agenda, they can isolate those who do not share the goals of the group.  In America, we do not see many book burnings. Yet, we do see attempts to keep politically incorrect books out of libraries. 

But how does this happen?

The American Library Association (ALA) says that the following criteria are used:

• Present and potential relevance to community needs.
• Suitability of physical form for library use.
• Suitability of subject and style for intended audience.

But who chooses relevance to community needs and suitability of subject?  If one lives in a metropolitan environment, one is likely to find a diverse set of reading materials,  In my library, I might be able to find books chronicling the history of the LGBT community, with Mein Kampf in another aisle. Yet, this diversity may not be found in a small community library in Kansas for many reasons, one of which might be censorship.

I find it hard to excuse censorship for any reason.  Yet, I can see why it may be needed in limited circumstances, such as when a country is at war.  But how does one root out falsehoods and destroy them?  We suffered for 4 years with president Trump, with human garbage such as Kelly Anne Conway spouting out bullshit like "alternative facts".  No, things are either objective facts, or they are falsehoods.  There is no in-between on this matter.  Authoritarians use lies to control people.  They use fear to control people.  And they use hate to control people.

Years ago, Martin Niemöller, a Lutheran pastor who was a political prisoner for 8 years said:

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

America is in danger of making the same mistakes that were made in Germany 90 years ago.  I hope we can check these authoritarian wannabes before it's too late.

 

Traditional Tax Day

 

Lately, I've been writing posts that are published 2 weeks later. These posts reflect the "present tense" at the time I write them, and not when they are available to my readers. I figure that when I get to travel, I won't be doing any writing during each trip, and will be playing catch-up when I get back.  This post is an exception to my usual way of doing things, as it is meant to be read on "Tax Day", and be current for that date.

One of the problems with our tax system is that it's hard to determine how much tax to withhold when one has multiple income sources.  Last year, I had income from a job, income from a pension, income from rental property, and income from other investments.  When I was working, I tried to over-withhold money from my paychecks to compensate for under-withholding from my other income sources.  What is most frustrating is that I need to spend several hundred dollars each year just to fill out forms the government needs to validate that I have paid enough in taxes each year.  This doesn't make much sense.  We need a tax system that is efficient, fair, and generates a maximum of revenue for government to use.

I'm not going to get into a long-winded discussion of the tax system, its flaws, and the trade-offs needed to create a better system.  No system could please everyone, and we have too much invested in our terrible system to take the social risk of making changes. 

So, why am I talking about taxes here?  This blog is a journal about my life as a transgender person living in the New York area.  The answer is simple.  Many things that transgender people deal with are just as mundane as the things that cisgender people deal with.  We just have a few more complications in our lives that get in the way of living those lives.

The other day, I recommended that RQS see a transgender accountant that I know.  She has just received her tax paperwork to sign, and is happy with the work that was done for her.  Yes, RQS still misgenders this accountant when talking with me, as all she has heard is the accountant's male voice - and that keeps triggering the use of the incorrect pronoun. I'm not going to hold it against RQS, as I've done the same thing when talking with another transgender acquaintance of mine.  And even my best friends have done it with me.  It is the price we pay, a tax on our souls you may call it, to be able to be out there as our authentic selves.  We may be free, but we must pay the price for that freedom in many ways.

I don't quibble about the overall amount of taxes I pay, as I've seen how much good government can do with that money. And I don't quibble when my friends and acquaintances misgender me by accident, as they will always be getting used to getting pronouns straight for people they first knew as part of the opposite gender....

I saw a busker I haven't seen in years

 

The Saw Lady.  Since I've stopped working in Lower Manhattan, I haven't seen her perform.  Given that she responded to me in my old blog, I figured that looking for her in one of the subway stations I'd be going through today made sense - and I spotted her at Union Square.  We chatted for a minute before I had to leave.

But first....

When I woke up today, I wasn't sure of what I was going to do.  Should I go to the Universal Standard sample sale, or should I go to my former boss's burial.  Well, luck made the decision for me.  I looked at my calendar and noticed that I had forgotten about lunch with a former coworker from the census.  So, I shaved, showered, and applied my makeup - and got dressed as a female.  This would be the last time I could go out as a female, so I made the most of it.

First, I met my friend at the restaurant down the hill, and has a nice Mexican lunch.  Our time together was too short, and yet just right.  After an hour or so, I had to run to the local train station to go into NYC. And then, I had an uneventful ride into Grand Central before getting onto the subway going downtown.

At Union Square, I changed trains, and walked from the IRT to the BMT side of the station.  And there, I saw the Saw Lady.  It was nice seeing her again, but I don't think she remembered writing to me on my old blog.  I didn't say much about that, but I did get memories of my commute to the Trade Center area. Since I had to make it to Universal Standard, I bid her a quick farewell - and off I went to the Sample Sale.

While at the sample sale, I found the above Merino Wool sweater in a pale sky blue shade, and picked it up for only $35.  The sweater feels so light, it's almost like wearing nothing at all - and yet, it's doing it's job. But the most interesting aspects about this trip were two things: a chat I had with a lady regarding women treating the sales floor like a private changing room, and the smart idea one woman had to wear a unitard, so that she could change in and out of everything and still keep her modesty.  The lady I chatted with said that she was uncomfortable in some environments like this, as she once was at a sale where one woman stripped down to her panties (no bra) and changed into some garments.  She didn't mind seeing other women in bra and panties getting into clothes.  But the experience of seeing a woman wearing only a thong made her uncomfortable. Regarding the second lady, she mentioned that this would be as close to being naked as possible, and yet be clothed.  So she could try on everything and not bother people with an excess state of undress.  I might do this for the next sample sale.

I ended up returning home just before rush hour.  Normally, before Covid, I wouldn't have gotten a seat.  Today, I had no problems doing so.  I'm glad that I don't do this anymore on a regular basis. 

I was hemming and hawing about which day to take care of things

 

By the time you read this, I will have already made my decision on alternatives to choose from, and taken care of my responsibilities.

Let me explain....

My ex-boss was killed due to a drunk driver doing a hit-and-run over the weekend, leaving him with injuries that caused his death the day afterwards.  I just received information on when he is being buried, as well as the 3 days the family is sitting Shiva. (Traditionally, Jews sit Shiva for 7 days, but many non-traditional people reduce the duration of this practice.)  And here is where my conflict arises.

I just received an email regarding a second sample sale that Universal Standard is having this weekend. If I were to go to the sample sale on Thursday, I'd have to visit the family on Sunday.  If I were to go to the burial, I wouldn't be able to go to the sample sale, as plans for Friday, Saturday and Sunday preclude a sample sale visit.  The way I am leaning right now, I'll go to the sample sale tomorrow and hope that I can find either of the cashmere or merino wool sweaters I want (at a great discount), and get back home before rush hour.  If I can do this, I'll have the option of visiting the family before the end of the day on Thursday.  If I can't get back before rush hour, I'd still be able to visit on Sunday - on our way to the Jersey shore.  

You might be asking about my plans for Friday and Saturday.  Well, this is RQS's birthday weekend, and I want to make sure that our original and paid for plans aren't interrupted by unplanned for events. RQS knows about my minor dilemma, and will support me no matter what I do.

I am more excited about a trip we're taking in the fall, than one in the summer.

The "Electric Kidney Bean", it's a beautiful piece of art in Chicago's Millennium Park.  And I'll be seeing it in person again this fall. I am looking forward to this trip much more than I am looking forward to my upcoming California cruise.  

And, why so?

Unlike my upcoming visit to California, my visit to Chicago will be done as my authentic self.  I'll be traveling as Marian for the trip, RQS will be accompanying me, and we'll be seeing my two friends from Texas.  After as many visits to California as I have done, a short stop in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and San Diego isn't all that exciting.  However, I've only been able to stay in Chicago twice for more than a day or so.  There is a lot that is still new to me there, and I want to see it all.

- - - - - -

RQS is looking forward to visiting Chicago, as she's catching up on the life she envisioned herself living when she was younger.  (No, I will not go into her unfulfilled early adult wishes here.  But I will say, that like my life, her life turned out much differently than she planned.)  It'll be nice showing her around the Windy City, as well as feasting on local specialties such as Deep Dish Pizza.  We'll have fun going to the Art Institute together, as well as being with friends with whom I grew close via Zoom chats.

The big question is: What does everyone else want to do?

I am a museum rat.  If the museum is large enough, or unique enough, you will find me wanting to go there.  In Philadelphia, I'd want to go to the Mutter Museum.  In New York, I'd look up the Museum of Finance.  In DC, I'd look to visit the International Spy Museum.  But what will we want to see in Chicago?  To answer that question, I'd build a list of places and things I want to see:

1. The Willis (formerly Sears) tower glass platforms.
   Assuming that I am wearing a dress that day, it will be the most unusual "up skirt" view possible, as I'll be standing on a clear platforming overlooking the sidewalk plaza below.
   
2. The International Museum of Surgical Science.
   This is Chicago's answer to Philadelphia's Mutter Museum.  I'm a person who likes odd things, and this would be an appropriately odd place to visit.
3. Wooden Block Alley.
   This is one of the last places in Chicago paved with wooden blocks.  Just like New York's cobblestone streets, Chicago's wood paved streets are almost all gone.  And it would be nice to see this historical relic.
4. Remnants of the World's Colombian Exhibition of 1893.
   The Japanese Garden is one of the few things that are left from this exhibition that took place 130 years ago.  Given that I love the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, this place is on my list of gardens to visit.
5. The Money Museum. (Not open to public since March 15, 2020)
   Chicago's Federal Reserve Bank has a museum of money that people can visit.  Ask yourself, when was the last time one could stand in the shadow of $1,000,000, and you'll know why this place is worth the visit.
6. The Billy Goat Tavern.
   The owner of the original Billy Goat Tavern cursed the Cubs to never win another world series.  And this was an effective curse, as it took the Cubs over 100 years to break the curse several years ago.  More recently, it was the inspiration for the Olympia Cafe skit on Saturday Night Live.  What better place to get a Cheeseburger with Chips and Pepsi than the place that started it all?
7. The Chicago Crime Tour.
   What visit to Chicago could be complete without visiting places that (Big) Al Capone made famous?
8. Chicago Pedway Tour.
   Chicago has a great underground system of walking paths which connect many of its downtown office buildings  Not all of the underground sections are connected to each other.  But enough of them are to make a tour worth taking.
9. Frank Lloyd Wright home and studio tour.
   I've taken this tour before.  But it is classic architecture that is timeless.  There are other Wright buildings in Oak Park that are worth seeing, and I hope to see more than this one while in Chicago.

I could go on and on, but I decided to leave off places significantly south of the loop for simplicity and safety.  This is not a city that I am not yet familiar with, and I heed the warning of Jim Croce when he sings that the South Side of Chicago is the Baddest Part of Town.  Why venture too far to the south, unless the White Sox are playing that day?

As you can see, this is a sample list that's going to be edited with the help of the women who will be with me.  It'll be new for all of us, and that's why I'm excited about this trip most of all!