I miss my former boss - a short post

 

Here is the face of a good man who meant a lot to people outside his family.  His life was cut short by a drunken hit-and-run driver,  But you may wonder, why am I making note of him here?

Well, this good man was a voice of calm in a sea of confusion.  When I first met him, the bank I worked for went through a nasty hostile takeover battle, and he was one of the people who had to earn the trust of the new people he supervised.  Over the years he worked for the bank, he did just that and was respected by all that knew him.

What most people didn't see is that he was quietly able to preserve (for a while) the careers of several people who worked for him when the next corporate merger occurred.  He made sure that the people taking over our area knew the value of a handful of key employees (myself included) that were needed to keep the technology infrastructure running.  He could have survived as well, but he didn't want to relocate himself again, this time to a city he hated.

Since that time, we stayed in contact over the years, and we met for lunch on the day that I was laid off from the bank.  (That was a weird coincidence!) We'd get together at the Cheesecake Factory in West Nyack, a place which was equidistant from our houses. And when Covid hit, we'd meet via Zoom.  Who knew that when I tried to set up the next Zoom meeting, I'd find out of his passing?

I was lucky to meet this man's family sitting Shiva.  I only wish I could have met them while he was alive. I told the family about things I knew about him, and they shard things they knew about me and the office. And all too soon, we had to part ways.

As much as I am not much of a believer in the afterlife, I do believe that if there is one, he will be a good place.  At least, I hope so....

I was hemming and hawing about which day to take care of things

 

By the time you read this, I will have already made my decision on alternatives to choose from, and taken care of my responsibilities.

Let me explain....

My ex-boss was killed due to a drunk driver doing a hit-and-run over the weekend, leaving him with injuries that caused his death the day afterwards.  I just received information on when he is being buried, as well as the 3 days the family is sitting Shiva. (Traditionally, Jews sit Shiva for 7 days, but many non-traditional people reduce the duration of this practice.)  And here is where my conflict arises.

I just received an email regarding a second sample sale that Universal Standard is having this weekend. If I were to go to the sample sale on Thursday, I'd have to visit the family on Sunday.  If I were to go to the burial, I wouldn't be able to go to the sample sale, as plans for Friday, Saturday and Sunday preclude a sample sale visit.  The way I am leaning right now, I'll go to the sample sale tomorrow and hope that I can find either of the cashmere or merino wool sweaters I want (at a great discount), and get back home before rush hour.  If I can do this, I'll have the option of visiting the family before the end of the day on Thursday.  If I can't get back before rush hour, I'd still be able to visit on Sunday - on our way to the Jersey shore.  

You might be asking about my plans for Friday and Saturday.  Well, this is RQS's birthday weekend, and I want to make sure that our original and paid for plans aren't interrupted by unplanned for events. RQS knows about my minor dilemma, and will support me no matter what I do.

Marian was a very busy girl today.

 

Work kept me busy for most of the day.  But my evening was busy too....

- - - - - -

As my readers know, I go to work presenting as female.  Weekends are usually spent presenting as a Male, as I have a girlfriend who prefers to date a male.  So, today was a rush - I had to get home and change into a male presentation to spend an hour zooming with my ex-boss.  And even then, I only had an hour to chat with him, as I had to make it to the drug store and pick up my prescriptions.

Changing from Marian to Mario is normally a 30 minute task.  First, I have to remove my makeup.  Next, I have to strip, then put on a masculine outfit. Finally, I have to switch wallets.  And I did this in time to tell my ex-boss that I'd be late for our zoom meeting.  But once we connected, I wish we had more time to chat - my visit to CVS had to be made before 9 pm to pick up my prescriptions, and  I had to get my clothes into the laundry, so that I'd be done by 10-10:30 pm.

At CVS, I found out that my insurance had transitioned to the new insurance plan.  However, there was a problem with my test strips.  No wonder why people sell glucose test strips in a black market - there is no reason why I have to pay 10 times as much for something that costs pennies to make.  Next time I choose a Part-D plan, I'll look for one that covers these strips - if they are available in a Medicare plan.

By the time I was done with CVS, it was time for laundry and to put my ID back into my female wallet. This is a gift I could use at Xmas time, as the coin compartment is always opening when in my purse.  However, I'll have to buy this for myself when the holidays come.  At least I'll have it before going to Hawaii....

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom

 

It was just one of those days....

I had to take off from work to bring my noisy car to Mavis.  The car had exhaust system problems, and I didn't know bad or costly they'd be.  After an hour at Mavis, I was brought to my car and shown the undercarriage.  The exhaust pipe had failed from the point of connection to the catalytic converter to the muffler itself.  Not only did I need a new pipe, but I needed a new muffler as well.  Ouch!  To make things worse, they couldn't get the parts in today.  So I was told that the parts would be in tomorrow, and that I could bring the car in after work to be taken care of.  There goes the better part of $1,000 that I'd rather spend on something else....

Next, it was off to work for a half day, and home to catch up with my ex boss on a Zoom meeting.  He's a good man, and I'm glad to be able to talk with him now and then.  But for some reason, I feel a little depressed when I talk with him.  I guess it's because we're out of the element (work) that gave both of us a certain purpose.

Following this, I logged onto another Zoom meeting, playing games with friends.  I don't recall if I won any games or not, but I was glad to be able to make it.  In two weeks, we'll likely be shutting down for the summer.  And I'll miss the distraction that helped me kill time and keep from getting bored shitless.

 

Visiting the dentist - not much to say for today.

 

I don't have much to report today, save that I went to the dentist.  Normally, this would be a non event, but it is the second time I went there as Marian, and I was made to feel totally comfortable by the receptionist (who I've gone with to have a Mani-Pedi several weeks ago).  Yes, I feared making the dental hygienist feel uncomfortable by going in presenting as a female, but she didn't give much of a hoot. (Or, at least, it didn't show on her face.)    

I'm glad that I went there as Marian - I was able to avoid having to change into Mario mode for the dentist, and then change back into Marian for my Tuesday night meetup.  (I wonder if my timing will be OK for tomorrow's zoom meeting with my ex-boss as Mario, followed by an online game night as Marian.)

Lunch with my Ex-Boss

Today I had two things on my docket, and both of them had to be done in my male presentation.  First was lunch with my Ex-Boss, and then my monthly Co-Op Board meeting. And I was wishing that I could have put on a dress and gone to a museum....

- - - - - -

Normally, I don't fully wake up until sometime between 8:30 and 10:00.  Today, my journey to full consciousness started a little before 10:00, and I wasn't really moving until 10:30.  This gave me about 2 hours to get dressed (as Mario), pick up my iPad (with its new battery), then drive to Rockland County to meet my ex-boss.  And I barely accomplished all this in time.

Lunch with my ex-boss is always interesting, as we talk about the past, present and future.  The past is usually business talk, and today was no different than usual.  But today, I had job interviews to tell him about (without mention of going as Marian).  And this was pleasant news to relate. Then we got into our usual political conversation - and we both have the same fears about the present and future.  Neither of us like our president, and we both have concerns about what would happen if he stays in office, or is replaced by the vice president.  We can't wait until 11/03/20, when we can exercise our right to vote....

Since we were expecting winter weather, we ended lunch a little earlier than usual.  Luckily, none of the bad weather arrived before I started my drive home.  And I was inside my apartment before 4:00.  This gave me enough time to take care of some things and get ready for the co-op board meeting.

As usual, I won't go into details about the board meeting.  But, compared with this time last year, everything was better than we expected.  Everything was in order, and we were very happy with the way things had developed over the past year.  Yes, there are some headaches that we (and other co-op boards) need to address because of New York State law changes that took place this summer.  But we can now give them the proper thought required, an effort that would have been impossible at this time last year.

A Job Interview as Marian

I think I look better now than when I first wore this dress, or its sister in teal.  And I wore it to a 11 am interview at a not-for-profit art gallery.  This is a dress that makes me feel good, even though I might not buy it today because of its hemline.

- - - - - -

Unfortunately, I couldn't get to sleep until the middle of the night.  When I awakened this morning, I knew that I would likely fall out before dinner time.  So I took a little time to get ready, making sure that everything was in the right place and put together well.  And it was off to Larchmont for the interview.

Arriving in Larchmont, I had to park my car in a 2 hour lot located on a side street off the main business corridor.  This allowed me to walk by the house of a former boss.  Looking at his driveway, I figured that all was probably well with him as he had a new looking car in his driveway. If you're thinking that this could be anyone's car, I'd beg to differ.  My ex boss (who retired about 20 years ago or so) had a habit of buying new Cadillac Coupe De Villes every few years, whether or not he needed to do so.  In fact, I'd bet that he had less than 20k miles on each 10 year old car that he may have traded in since his retirement.  (His former commute was about 5-10 miles per day, and all of his trade ins were very low mileage cars.) Hopefully, he's enjoying his retirement and is still very healthy.

When I arrived at the gallery, I was greeted by 4 people.  (Unfortunately, I can't remember their names, or I'd have sent them all thank you emails.)  I would be one of two paid employees of the gallery, responsible for keeping the center open Tuesday-Friday (my shift) and Saturday (the other shift).  This means that I would not have the freedom to schedule my vacations any longer, as they only close down in August.  That is not the time I like taking vacations, and it would crimp my style.  With this being said, I feel I was a strong candidate in office skills, but not in retail skills.  They need someone who can run a store by herself, and I doubt I am that candidate.

As I was getting up to leave, I had an experience that only women can appreciate - my hosiery failed, and a hole formed on my inner thigh.  There went my original plan to go straight from the interview to the LGBT Center to do my weekly volunteer stint.  Instead, I went straight home and got comfortable for a while.

Later on, I got a call from an old friend.  Joanie had free tickets to a play, and thought of me. So I cancelled my attendance at tonight's dinner meetup and drove back to lower county to catch a train into NYC.  I met Joanie in Times Square, then enjoyed the play - even though we were seated on opposite sides of the theater.  After the play, we went to Shake Shack to grab a burger, and gabbed until midnight. 

Noticing the time, I said that I had to make a train. Knowing that the last trains leave Grand Central around 1:30, I still had a couple of trains I could still take home.  But I wanted to get out of town by 12:30, so that I could get home by 2:00.  While on the train, I had a quick message chat with GFJ.  (She had to get up early in the morning, otherwise we may have chatted more.)  And then, I was in Pelham.  Arriving at my car around 1:15, I got a message from Joanie.  She wanted to let me know that if I got stuck in the city, I could always stay in a spare room at her place.  That's always nice to know.  By 1:45, I was home in spite of the rain.  So I figured that I'd write this entry before collapsing for the evening - and did.