What difference a decade makes!

 

I have been traveling as Marian for about a decade and much has changed in my life.  For example, the woman who took this photo is no longer my friend.  My long term career in computing ended, I survived a couple of breakups, and a few people close to me passed away.  But the one thing I have gained is confidence. In this decade, I feel much more confident in my ability to blend in as a female. Often, people don't notice much, save for my size, when they meet me - until I let my guard down.  Over time, I have become more comfortable in telling people that I am transgender, and will do so if someone asks.

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However, I am not completely happy with my current situation.  Recently, I got my ears pierced so that I could wear a greater selection of earrings  But this may not be enough for me.  I have made a promise to RQS that I will keep - no significant body modifications while we are in a relationship.  I will trade progress on my path towards living as a female for the love of a caring woman.

But what can I do that this woman could accept?

Right now, I'm thinking of either getting hair transplants to deal with my male pattern alopecia. Maybe some partial facial feminization surgery after that. And then, I'd want to get my name changed so that my official id would have a picture of me with an androgynous hair style.  This way, people who need to do a casual inspection of my id wouldn't notice much if I were dressed as a male or female.  The big issue is what to do with my chest.  Do I want to deal with having breasts and risk a relationship?  If I were to go to that next step, I'd get "permission" from a partner, as she'd have to live with me and my new "rack".  This and more would be subjects for thought as I get older.

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This path of feminization has been a long one, and I wonder what the next decade will bring me....

 

I live in New York, and will only sail out of one of its three regional cruise terminals.

 

The Manhattan Cruise Terminal.  On my own, it's the only cruise terminal in the New York City region that I will choose to cruise from.  But this is for practical reasons.

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I live in NYC's Northern Suburbs.  If I want to take a cab from my town to the Manhattan Cruise Terminal, I'd be charged at least $150 before tips.  Travel to the cruise terminals in Bayonne, NJ (a.k.a. Cape Liberty, NJ) or Brooklyn, NY costs even more due to distance, time and tolls.  If I were to drive to any of these terminals, I might be charged a minimum of $30-$40/day to park there.  Since I like to take 7-11 day cruises, I refuse to pay $210-$330/$280-$440 just to park my car.  For that amount of money (and a little more), I could fly to an out of town cruise port and enjoy a cruise from there.  But I digress.

None of the NYC area cruise terminals are easy to reach via mass transit.  Although I have used a NYC bus to take me from Grand Central Terminal to the Hudson River along 42nd street, I prefer to spend $20 for a crosstown cab for this 1.5 mile trip.  Travel to Bayonne and Brooklyn terminals is much more awkward from Manhattan.  To reach the Bayonne terminal, one would need a cab for part of the trip. One could take mass transit to reach Bayonne, (NYC Subway to PATH Trains, then transfer to Hudson Bergen Light Rail to reach Bayonne) and then, one would still need a cab for the last 2-3 miles of the trip.  Reaching the Brooklyn terminal is an easier task.  One could take the NYC subway to a station near the cruise terminal, and then walk about a mile through an industrial area to reach the terminal. I'd simply take the subway to the Long Island Rail Road's Atlantic Terminal (Barclay Center arena) and catch a cab from there.

 

New York City has a robust ferry system which evolved to service real estate development in New Jersey and in some waterfront areas of Brooklyn and Queens. However, none of these routes serve either Bayonne or Brooklyn cruise terminals. Sadly, none of the cruise lines have been willing to cut deals with the ferry operator (or NY Water Taxi) to provide cruise-day service from Manhattan to the Bayonne and Brooklyn cruise terminals. (Even the weekend service to IKEA in Brooklyn could be adapted to service the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal without much problem.)  I feel that this would be a net benefit for all parties concerned, as the cost of ferry service from Manhattan would be much cheaper than the equivalent cab fares or parking charges.  Considering that NY Waterways already provides service to nearby docks, why not provide cruise day service using existing facilities and equipment to the cruise terminals?

So, what does this all mean for me?

I have cruised on 3 lines: NCL, Princess and Holland America.  Of these lines, only 2 make home ports in the New York area.  NCL has gotten most of my cruise business, as they sail out of the Manhattan Cruise Terminal.  Both times I've sailed on Princess from the New York area, someone has had to transport me to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.  Any ship sailing out of Manhattan is easy for me to cruise on.  Ships sailing out of Brooklyn are awkward to get to.  That means I will not likely sail on MSC or Princess that often.  And it means that I will likely never sail Royal Caribbean (RCCL) out of Bayonne. 

Until I see a cheaper and easier way to reach the Brooklyn or Bayonne cruise terminals, I will not bother to cruise from them without a good excuse.  Although I can see RQS and I cruising out of Brooklyn due to its accessibility from her house, I believe we will continue to take our NYC cruises from Manhattan for now.

 

 

 

PS: I recently found that there is a ferry from the Wall Street area that will take me close enough to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.  However, I hate the idea of humping bags through the IRT (New York's "Numbered" Lines) subway stations, then walking a few blocks to the ferry. I will try a dry run long before I take a cruise from Brooklyn.

Another Board Meeting - a short post

 

Sometimes, I feel that the Marx Brothers made more sense than what I have to deal with in my co-op's board meetings.  But then, I often feel this way after a co-op board meeting.  I wish I would write about what transpired at the meeting in this forum - but I can't.  What I can say is that we worked well together, and we are all on harmonic wavelengths with business and the challenges in front of us.

Why am I talking about a meeting when I can't talk about what happened inside of it?  Well, the answer is simple.  Not all condo or co-op boards have overcome the challenges our board has tackled.  Some have it much easier than we do, as they have shareholders who take an active interest in running the co-op.  Others have major challenges in front of them, such as the HOA's for the Florida shore front condos that need major structural repairs due to years of moist ocean air putting properties at risk of structural failure.  My co-op is somewhere in-between, and we have accomplished a lot in the time since I joined the board.

As I see it, the biggest risk to co-op boards and HOA's is apathy.  The second biggest risk is bad (or corrupt) management, either by the board or a management company.  One thing I know is that I intend to be on the board of whatever future residence I live in.

Seeing RQS's Cousin & Wife

 

This was an interesting day for us, as it was one where I screwed up a little and things worked out better because of it....

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RQS and I were supposed to meet her cousin and his wife at a local eatery.  Normally, one doesn't need a reservation to eat there.  But for Sunday brunch, they advise getting one ahead of time.  Not knowing this, I didn't make the reservation and found out that we'd have to wait an hour before having a chance to eat there.  So, we checked with her cousin and agreed to eat at a local diner.

Going to DD's diner in Ossining in the past revealed a limited menu.  But in a pinch, the diner was always a reliable place for me to eat.  This time, I was impressed, as they returned to their pre-pandemic full menu.  This gave us a chance to have a filling meal, and time to have a leisurely chat.  And chat we did!  We got along as if we have been the closest of friends for years.  I was surprised to find that her cousin noticed my tiny earrings.  But then, he is a doctor, and trained to notice these things.

All too soon, they had to leave for their home (they live 5 hours away), and we had to get back to my place to take care of things.  In a conversation we had afterwards, RQS and I had a feeling that they would be accepting of my Marian side.  Maybe one day, I'll reveal it to them and find out.

Seeing Pat with RQS

 

The weekend came and so did RQS.  We decided to have a quiet weekend together on Friday and Saturday, both days in Marian mode before seeing her cousin and his wife as Mario.  And it was more interesting to me than I would have expected...

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On Friday, I thought I'd reach out to Pat and see if she'd like a couple of visitors this weekend. So we went to Pat's place to visit.  On the way there, we picked up an inexpensive folding chair as a gift, as Pat didn't have enough seating in her place. Once there, Pat and I got into an animated conversation, both of us looking at the world in very different ways.  Let's say that I come to her position from a position of historical advantage, and she came to her position from historical disadvantage - and were still able to be friends after a heated discussion.  If I had her experiences, I might have felt as she does.  But I had my experiences, and see the world from a more optimistic, but pragmatic viewpoint.  (No, I don't want to say much about the conversation, save that I have never been a nurturing person and she has been all of her adult life.)

When we left RQS's place, I found out that my cell phone had dropped out of my handbag and had to return to Pat's place.  Arriving at her place, I met her at the elevator and saw all the people being herded in for dinner.  This cemented what we feel about the "assisted living residence".  It is sucking excess people out of nursing homes, and placing them into a sterile environment where their souls are sucked dry.  Other than the receptionist at the front desk, we could see no one else working at the building.  Meal time is not something that people look forward to there, as the food is bland, institutional, and not nourishing - it meets the barest requirements for food to be fed to the home's residents.  There are no social activities in the place for people to attend, and the residence is totally isolated from the world at large.  Pat feels like a prisoner in the place, and doesn't see any hope for freedom.

Sadly, we're seeing the tip of the iceberg when it comes to warehousing the impoverished aged.  I hope that I won't be spending my final days in a place as sterile and depressing as her place is.

Meow! a short post

 

As I get older, I find that the common cat seems to be getting a larger presence in my life. Yet, I have no felines as pets.  Go figure it out.

When I met my late wife, she came into my life with two cats. Soon afterward, she brought two more cats into the apartment, making a total mess of the place.  (I have floorboards that have to be refinished because of those cats.  But I digress.) When the last of these cats died (my favorite), I never intended to have cats in my life again.

Over the years, I have developed a friendship with TCL, and have been with her for vet appointments for the cats she had before the pandemic.  Now, I'm seeing RQS, a woman who has two cats of her own. One of these cats is an attention hog, and misses his human(s) when away.  (He is making this known by "going to the bathroom" in the bathroom after RQS has prepared a clean litter box.)  The other cat is much more standoffish, and generally has not yet warmed up to me.  (However, this second cat has warmed up to RQS's cat sitter - he feeds her fresh food and is not seen as an interloper.)  Yet, I have developed an affection for these cats, and would have a hard time seeing RQS happy without her cats.

What does this mean?  I guess I'll need to keep my allergy pills handy more often than not.  Or, does it mean that in my old age that I'll become a crazy cat lady?

It feels like summer already, and that won't officially be here for two months.

 

It's April, and I've already have had to turn on my air conditioner twice. As I write this, it hit 90° today, and it will be the same tomorrow. Although this is only anecdotal evidence of global warning, I can't help but believe that global warming is real and taking place right now.

But why do I mention this?

I live in an apartment that gets very warm.  During the winter, I've often have had to open windows to make this place comfortable.  During the summer, the air conditioner is on 24x7.  And it's been this way since I bought this place.  As the nation shifts to greater use of electricity for cooking, heating, and transportation, I see major problems with the transformation to a future with reduced dependency on fossil fuels.

The first problem I see is the generation of enough electricity to meet increased demand.  We have seen the water level behind many dams used for energy generation at risk of being too low to generate clean electricity.  We have seen the decommissioning of nuclear plants that generate clean energy.  (I'm not going to get into the important negatives of this energy source here.)  We have seen communities resisting the development and use of wind power. And we have yet to see wide scale deployment of solar power grids. Where are we going to get the additional energy we need when we have barriers to the generation of clean energy?

Next, we have to deal with our electric grid.  Out west, California's electric company has to deal with obsolete transmission systems that puts the state at risk of major forest fires every year.  (Power lines, transformers, etc. are all above ground where they are at most risk of causing problems.  Yet, it is uneconomical to bury the system underground as it is done in the big city.)  Can any of the smaller grids handle the extra demand for electricity?  I'm very doubtful that we can upgrade these systems within 12 years as many in the "blue states" believe can be done.

Then, we have the problem of upgrading wiring in both commercial and residential properties.  For example, how many homes' fossil fuel heating and cooking systems can be converted to electric powered systems at a reasonable cost?  Who will pay for the transition?  And we haven't even started to talk about transportation related issues. There may be only 30 charging stations within a 15 minute drive of where I live.  But I figure that we have over 500 gas pumps (or more) within the same area.  I can not justify installing 120 individually metered charging stations in my apartment complex to allow overnight charging.  Can I justify buying an electric car if I can't charge it at home?  Not with today's technology.  I can fill up a car with gas in 5 minutes and get a 300 mile driving range.  But, with today's electric cars, I might get 150 miles with a 30 minute charge.  Our politicians are placing a big bet on having all the technologies and systems in place within 12 years to justify a mandated end to the use of fossil fuels.

Years ago, T. Boone Pickens proposed a transition strategy to move the United States from a fossil fuel economy to a green energy economy.  It was not pie in the sty dreaming.  It was a pragmatic strategy developed by an oil man to address the problems related with global warming.  We have not implemented a pragmatic plan.  Instead, we are letting our ideals get in the way of seeing reality.  

I know one thing.  Due to global warming and government policy, I expect that I will see even higher energy bills to keep this apartment livable in both summer and winter.  This may be the one thing that gets me to leave the Hudson Valley for more hospitable climes....