By the time you read this, I'll have returned from a cruise

 

As most of my readers know, I write blog entries between 7 and 14 days before they are made available to my readers.  Soon, I'll be posting a record of my most recent California cruise which sails from Los Angeles to San Francisco, Avalon (Catalina Island, CA), San Diego, and Ensenada Mexico before returning to Los Angeles. When I decided on taking this cruise, I had hoped to visit my uncle in his Los Angeles nursing home.  Sadly, he died 11 days before the cruise.  Since it was way too late to cancel the cruise, I decided to go on it anyway - if only to have 9+ days in a row where I could present as Marian and not Mario.  

Right now, I plan to enjoy a full day in Los Angeles, not knowing what I'll be doing.  I've found that my cell phone has NFC, so that I can use Google Wallet to pay for trips on LA's mass transit system.  So, I won't be needing to use Ubers to get around in the daytime.  (I'll still need to use them at night, as I don't want to inadvertently travel through high crime areas after dark.)  For the times I'm near the hotel, I might bring a swimsuit, so that I can get a tan near the pool.

In many ways, San Francisco is like a second home that I stayed in for only a short while.  So, if I can, I'll visit the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes before returning to the cruise ship.  Catalina Island will be new to me, and I'm not sure of what to do there.  But, I'll be visiting RQS's cousin in San Diego.  This is something I look forward to, as this will be the first of RQS's relatives to meet me as Marian,

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this trip will bring me only pleasant memories.  I'll let you know when I start writing posts upon my return.

Dinner with a Transgender friend

 

It's not every day that I can get together with another person from our transgender community.  It takes a while for our conversations to get going because we come from opposite sides of the spectrum.  But, in the end, we get to chatting like typical ladies - albeit, not in the way one would expect.

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We arranged to meet at the restaurant at dinner time, but we screwed up which dinner time that was.  So, I ended up being 1/2 hour early, yet 1/2 hour late according to SKB's initial impressions of our time frame.  (I take half of the blame here, as I could have chosen the earlier to get there and we both could have gotten there at the originally expected time.)  One thing I can say - I don't want to be walking out on a side street near Atlantic Terminal / Barclay's Center after rush hour.  But I digress.  SKB ended up being later than expected due to a hunt for a parking spot. (There are many good reasons that I use mass transit in congested parts of big cities.) 

In many ways, SKB is the opposite of me.  I identify as a person who is left of center by today's standards. (I'd likely be considered a Goldwater Republican, the way he was towards the end of his life.)  SKB identifies as a person who is right of center.  I have almost no interest in sports, save for an interest in the history of baseball.  SKB has an interest in the most American of sports, football.  We should be like oil and water, but we always seem to have good conversations.

All too soon, our conversation had to end.  SKB was able to reach her house in 30 minutes, while it took me 30 minutes to reach Grand Central Terminal.  Since it was after 9:00 pm when I got there, almost every place where I could get a bottle of fizzy water was closed (or was closing down).  Luckily, one place was still open at 9:30, and I was able to get my seltzer before hopping on the train.

Normally, I get on a train that has a stop or two before reaching Croton.  This time, I caught the express whose first stop is in Croton.  As a result, I had to fight to stay awake just enough not to miss my station, instead of being able to fall asleep until the last stop.  Yet, I made it home by 11:00 pm, and was ready to fall asleep by midnight.

Baby, it's cold outside.

 

I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Baby, it's cold outside

 

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Many years ago, a smart lyricist penned the tune "Baby, it's cold outside."  It was that cold this past weekend, and it caused RQS and I to stay in for the time we were together.

The weekend started with a snow alert.  Since this weekend was my turn to go to RQS's place, I knew that I couldn't leave my car in its usual spot, as they use it to dispose of snow plowed from our driveway.  So, I parked it in a visitor's spot and took a cab to the train station.

Normally, if I take mass transit to RQS's place, it takes me around 2-2½ hours to get to her place.  This weekend, it took almost 3 hours as I was delayed due to a conversation I had with a couple of neighbors. (One neighbor has been sick for a while, and he was discussing issues he had with the local hospital.)  After the 1¼ hour ride on the local, I found that I had a problem with my reduced fare Metrocard, and had to use my full fare OMNY card instead to get on the subway, and then on the bus for a total of another 1¼-1½ hours. Eventually, I reached RQS's place where she had dinner waiting for me.

Given that neither of us wanted to brave the cold, we decided to stay indoors as much as possible. And that's where we stayed, with the exception of a trip to her local library to drop off books, then the local bodega to pick up food for breakfast and dinner.  BRRRR!  I won't say much about her adjustable bed, save that it was comfortable and that I kept sliding towards the foot board.  If I find that I like this bed when the weather gets warmer, I might buy one for myself.

All too quickly, the weekend ended.  When we left the house, it was a little warmer outside and was almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop.  Why "almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop?"  Well, we saw the express bus that would take us to the subway, and neither of us thought we'd make it to the bus stop on time.  I realized that with the timing of traffic lights and the out of service bus in front of it, we had a chance of catching the bus.  And I got to the bus stop just in time, allowing RQS a chance to catch up with me and enjoy a short ride - no waiting needed or possible!  When we reached Grand Central, it was time to part.  At least, we know where we'll be next weekend.

Looking forward to traveling again.

 

Next year, RQS and I are planning on taking another "Bucket List" cruise, this time to the Norwegian fjords.  It'll be the last year that traditional cruise ships will be allowed into several of the fjords, so we decided to do it now and hold off on other cruises we may have taken first.

Right now, I have only 3 cruises planned, 2 of them fully paid for.  One of these cruises will have RQS and I spending 3 days in Bermuda, and the other will be an effective repeat of a cruise I took with XGFJ several years ago.  On the latter cruise, I'll be alone and presenting as a female.  Unfortunately, the one time I want to spend the money to have a portrait photo taken of me presenting as Marian, the cruise ship doesn't seem to have to have the portrait studio experience I want - something similar to what I experienced on Princess as Mario.

One of the things that excites me is the opportunity to travel and see new places.  Sometimes, I want to go back to places such as Alaska and Hawaii. And that brings me to the topic of last minute trip booking.  A while back, I started looking at last minute prices for the Hawaii cruise I took last year. And I could take the cruise portion of that trip for a very cheap price this year.  If you look at the pricing for the cruise above, you'll note that there is an important anomaly - the studio cabin is priced more than both an inside cabin and an ocean view cabin. For only $300 more than the studio cabin, the solo cruiser could cruise in a balcony cabin.  Add $1,000 for the airfare, and $500 for hotel stays,  and one could do this bucket list trip for about $3,000-$3,500, excluding shore excursions.

Although cruising is getting more expensive these days, it still can be a relative bargain.  One has to be willing to get into the nitty gritty and search for pricing anomalies like the one above.  But bucket list trips such as a Norway cruise are rarely discounted.  Hawaii prices will soon go back to normal, and I expect Alaska prices for good itineraries to be at a premium next year.  

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Not all of my travels will be by sea.  RQS and I are planning on doing another "Girls' Trip" with our friends from Texas.  Hopefully, they will be able to fit this trip into their schedules and budgets.  Shortly after our Chicago trip, I floated the idea of visiting San Francisco in the fall, given the low prices I've seen at a few hotels there this year. Some of the places I stayed in a decade ago are very reasonably priced, and I have found a few bargains that are accessible via mass transit.  We could fly into SFO, then take BART to Embarcadero, then take the Trolley (or bus) to a hotel at Fisherman's Wharf. This is a trip which deserves more time than we spent in Chicago, and may require the rental of a car for a day.

RQS and I may do another trip to Washington, DC, as well as a trip to Philadelphia and a trip to Boston. All of these cities are easily reached by Amtrak, and that helps keep our costs down.  Unfortunately, being in the Northeast poses another set of problems - it's harder for a frugal traveler to find bargains here. But if one avoids using a car and uses mass transit efficiently, one can make many a trip in this region affordable.  So don't be surprised to find me reporting on a spur of the moment trip soon....

Doing a test run of mass transit to get to/from a future cruise

 

The weather was nice, and the two of us had nothing better to do.  What better a day to see if we could conveniently make it to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal by bus and subway, and to find out exactly how close the ferry dock is to the cruise terminal. And that's exactly what we did, with a side trip to Chinatown for some duck.

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RQS and I both wanted to find out where the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal was for our own reasons.  For RQS, it was out of mere curiosity, as she'd go there by Uber if we chose an MSC, Princess or Cunard cruise in the future.  For me, it was to make a dry run (in good weather) to find out how to get there using mass transit and avoid spending $280 to park, or $300 (+ Tip) for cab rides from/to Croton, NY. So, we started our journey from central Queens county at 2 pm, and reached downtown Brooklyn a little after 3 pm where we switched buses. From there, we took another bus to the waterfront, walked the 4 blocks to the cruise terminal. to complete our trip in 90 minutes.

Once at the cruise terminal, we found that NYC Ferries had a stop at the cruise terminal (about 1000 feet away from the actual building).. So we bought tickets to take us to their Wall Street transfer point, and had a nice ride along the riverfront. And then, it was off to Chinatown by bus.

We walked the length and breadth of Chinatown to find out that Ping's was still closed. (Their website says that this is temporary, but not to be open on their scheduled reopening date causes me to start wondering....)  So we walked to the Peking Duck House for some expensive, but tasty grub - their signature dish, the Peking Duck. When RQS and I looked at the menu, we realized that this would be more than either of us would normally spend on dinner.  So she helped me out a little.  (THANKS!) And then we had a wonderful meal.  Would we go back?  Yes, in a heartbeat if our budgets allow for it.

Then, it was time to go home for the evening.  At least, this time, we knew how to get home quickly, in spite of the work being done on the subway.

But where do I want to go that's affordable and safe for me?

 

Until early next year, it will not be prudent to schedule more vacations than already in the docket.  Yet, I would like to find a couple of overnight (or weekend) trips we can make from NYC at a minimal cost. Given that we can get to most major Eastern cities at a reasonable cost on Amtrak, the cost of travel (in both time and money) will not be an issue.  Instead, it is the choice of where to go.

I expect that hotel stays will be the biggest expense for us, followed by dining, transportation and miscellaneous expenses. We've narrowed the list of places to visit to the following 3 cities: Boston, Philadelphia, and Washington, DC.  Boston and Philadelphia are cities I have not developed a feel for yet, so I'd like to explore them when possible.

What does this say about other cities?  My impression of many other cities is that they do not have enough attractions for us to spend a weekend in the city, and that we would need a car to get around because of the paucity of good mass transit.  In addition, many cities in the Red States are hostile to all but cisgender people. Although I will be flying to Chicago in the Fall, it is one of the few cities outside the Northeast that I have found have enough things to do and is safe for me to visit while presenting as a female.

Even if I decided to travel as Mario, the issue of mass transit is important.  Most modern American cities have evolved around a Post-WW2 Car Culture.  Mass transit has been neglected, as people seem to prefer cocooned commutes to work.  Years ago, Los Angeles had one of the best public transit systems in the USA.  Now, it is trying to replace what it lost in the 1950's.  When I visit LA later on this year, I will be reluctant to take buses to reach my uncle's current residence, and will spend much more money taking an Uber for the trip.  Unfortunately, all too many American cities have become like LA, and this limits my choices for weekend trips.

Luckily, this doesn't rule out travel to Canada, even if I have to take a plane to get there.  Although Mount Royal (Montreal) is a quick ride North for me, I don't want to visit a place which penalizes people for using English in what is supposed to be a bilingual nation.  In the USA, we're seeing the use of Spanish change us into a bilingual nation.  And for the most part, we accommodate Spanish speakers much more than Quebec accommodates English speakers.  Instead, I would likely go to Toronto, a great city and one worth exploring at leisure.  Having been there before, I can say that the Theater and Restaurant scenes in Toronto make the city a great place to visit.

Yes, I have my prejudices in where I will travel.  But who doesn't?   This New Yorker will only go where I feel welcome, safe, and where I can get around with ease.  

I live in New York, and will only sail out of one of its three regional cruise terminals.

 

The Manhattan Cruise Terminal.  On my own, it's the only cruise terminal in the New York City region that I will choose to cruise from.  But this is for practical reasons.

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I live in NYC's Northern Suburbs.  If I want to take a cab from my town to the Manhattan Cruise Terminal, I'd be charged at least $150 before tips.  Travel to the cruise terminals in Bayonne, NJ (a.k.a. Cape Liberty, NJ) or Brooklyn, NY costs even more due to distance, time and tolls.  If I were to drive to any of these terminals, I might be charged a minimum of $30-$40/day to park there.  Since I like to take 7-11 day cruises, I refuse to pay $210-$330/$280-$440 just to park my car.  For that amount of money (and a little more), I could fly to an out of town cruise port and enjoy a cruise from there.  But I digress.

None of the NYC area cruise terminals are easy to reach via mass transit.  Although I have used a NYC bus to take me from Grand Central Terminal to the Hudson River along 42nd street, I prefer to spend $20 for a crosstown cab for this 1.5 mile trip.  Travel to Bayonne and Brooklyn terminals is much more awkward from Manhattan.  To reach the Bayonne terminal, one would need a cab for part of the trip. One could take mass transit to reach Bayonne, (NYC Subway to PATH Trains, then transfer to Hudson Bergen Light Rail to reach Bayonne) and then, one would still need a cab for the last 2-3 miles of the trip.  Reaching the Brooklyn terminal is an easier task.  One could take the NYC subway to a station near the cruise terminal, and then walk about a mile through an industrial area to reach the terminal. I'd simply take the subway to the Long Island Rail Road's Atlantic Terminal (Barclay Center arena) and catch a cab from there.

 

New York City has a robust ferry system which evolved to service real estate development in New Jersey and in some waterfront areas of Brooklyn and Queens. However, none of these routes serve either Bayonne or Brooklyn cruise terminals. Sadly, none of the cruise lines have been willing to cut deals with the ferry operator (or NY Water Taxi) to provide cruise-day service from Manhattan to the Bayonne and Brooklyn cruise terminals. (Even the weekend service to IKEA in Brooklyn could be adapted to service the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal without much problem.)  I feel that this would be a net benefit for all parties concerned, as the cost of ferry service from Manhattan would be much cheaper than the equivalent cab fares or parking charges.  Considering that NY Waterways already provides service to nearby docks, why not provide cruise day service using existing facilities and equipment to the cruise terminals?

So, what does this all mean for me?

I have cruised on 3 lines: NCL, Princess and Holland America.  Of these lines, only 2 make home ports in the New York area.  NCL has gotten most of my cruise business, as they sail out of the Manhattan Cruise Terminal.  Both times I've sailed on Princess from the New York area, someone has had to transport me to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.  Any ship sailing out of Manhattan is easy for me to cruise on.  Ships sailing out of Brooklyn are awkward to get to.  That means I will not likely sail on MSC or Princess that often.  And it means that I will likely never sail Royal Caribbean (RCCL) out of Bayonne. 

Until I see a cheaper and easier way to reach the Brooklyn or Bayonne cruise terminals, I will not bother to cruise from them without a good excuse.  Although I can see RQS and I cruising out of Brooklyn due to its accessibility from her house, I believe we will continue to take our NYC cruises from Manhattan for now.

 

 

 

PS: I recently found that there is a ferry from the Wall Street area that will take me close enough to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.  However, I hate the idea of humping bags through the IRT (New York's "Numbered" Lines) subway stations, then walking a few blocks to the ferry. I will try a dry run long before I take a cruise from Brooklyn.

A trip to RQS's place

 

I'm looking forward to this weekend.  Although I will be in Mario mode all weekend, I look forward to being with RQS.  As I've asked before, is this too good to last?  I don't know the answer, and don't want to know right now.

The logistics of getting to see RQS is always a challenge. Getting to and staying over RQS's place is an issue.  If I drive, I hate trying to find a parking spot in her neighborhood.  (It would be even worse, if I drove down during the week, as her neighborhood has alternate side of the street parking.)  If I take mass transit, I have to leave my car in a public parking area which is empty at night.  And then, I have to take Metro North into NYC, then the subway to RQS's place.  AARGH!  But she's worth it.

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I shouldn't look at the negative side of things, and I try not to.  There are some advantages to being with RQS - such as being able to explore NYC at will.  This is something that most suburbanites do not take advantage of.  Like most suburbanites who live near a big city, the headaches of going into the city often outweigh the perceived benefits of being there.  And this is even more true when the city is the cultural and economic capital of the country.

New York City, is a place like few other world class cities.  Unlike London and Paris, it is not a political capital.  Instead, it is "only" an economic and cultural capital. Vicki and I used to go into NYC to catch an Off-Broadway (or Broadway) play or two on a regular basis.  It is also a foodie capital as well.  Where else in the USA can one eat a different ethnic food style every day?  About the only food one can't get here is authentic Haggis, as we have a thing against organ meats in this country.  But then, I'd rather enjoy myself and go to Stillwell and Surf on July 4th to enjoy Hot Dogs with Joey Chestnut.

Unfortunately, given NYC's subway system, "you can't get there from here" in many of the outer boroughs.  So it's hard to explore one borough from another, unless one is going to/from Manhattan.  And this is why it will take me 2+ hours to reach RQS today, when I can drive there in an hour (in good traffic).  But she's worth it....