A long drive to see someone who has a short time left to him.

 

What else can I start the day with but a mention of a long drive?  My cousin has terminal cancer, and I wanted to see him in the hospice while he's still alert and able to appreciate the visit.  (I wish I could have done this for my uncle in California, but he died before I had the chance to do so.  This is why I'm spending a day on the road, which I'd rather spend packing for my upcoming trip.)

- - - - - -

This would be a day I had to spend as Mario.  So I took my ID and money out of my female wallet and transferred it to my male wallet.  When one lives in two genders, one has to always be aware of the gender in which one is presenting and who one is meeting during the day.  It can be a major scheduling effort some days, but one well worth the effort when one is forced to live this way, female to close friends, family and many acquaintances, while male to others.  Otherwise, one can easily be outed when one is not ready to do so.

Around noon, I set out for New Jersey.  Although I hit some traffic, I was able to reach my cousin's nursing home/hospice around 2:00 pm.  (The minute one sees the land the church owns here, one can make a justification to eliminate the income tax exemption given to religious entities.  But I digress....) I drove into the complex, and about 1/4 mile into it was the nursing home/hospice which my cousin was admitted into yesterday.  They had no official receptionist by the door, so I had to rap a few times before I was let in.  And then the nurse showed me the way to where my cousin was sitting.

When I first saw my cousin, he looked like he was at death's door, and it got slammed on him a few times.  His arms were black and blue (likely from the times they had to put a needle in his veins, or from the blood thinners he likely takes - I should ask my niece about this one day) and he could barely talk.  We made conversation for a few minutes before my other cousin arrived.  I talked a little bit more, but saw that my cousin was very tired - and it was time for us to depart.

On my way home, I called Vicki to find out that I had double booked events for tomorrow.  To make room to bring Vicki to the hospital and back for a day surgery, I had to postpone lunch with my friend from the census.  From having a lunch and dinner get together with separate friends, I was now taking care of Vicki - something I was more in the mood for anyway.

When I arrived home, it was time to fold laundry.  I have underwear and socks to last me for the cruise.  Now, all I have to do is fill up my suitcases....

It'll be nice to get back into a dress tomorrow.

This day didn't turn out as planned

 

Given the way things went today, I'd have rather "invested" my money in a Bialystock and Bloom production.  It would have been just as much of a waste of time as I had while trying to see my cousin in the hospital before he is moved to hospice tomorrow.

- - - - - -

The weather was perfect for a day out as Marian.  However, I planned to spend the day as Mario because I didn't want to visit my extended family as Mario - they have enough to deal with, given that my cousin doesn't have long to live.  So, around 3 pm, I started on my drive to Poughkeepsie.

When I reached the hospital, I stopped at the receptionist's desk and asked what room my cousin was in.  The receptionist couldn't locate him.  (Some people are just plain worthless for even the simplest of tasks, but I would find that out on my ride home.)  After 5-10 minutes of trying to locate him, she had no luck.  So I left, and started my drive home.  About a half hour later my niece once removed called me with the room number.  AARGH!  Since I was much closer to home than the hospital, I realized that it wasn't worth going back to Poughkeepsie in rush hour.

Tomorrow, I'll be driving to pick up luggage from RQS while my cousin is being taken to hospice in Central New Jersey.  As soon as I have the information, I will try to make it there - probably on Wednesday, if I do so at all.  If not, I doubt I'll be able to go until after my cruise - if he's still above ground.  Since my niece has my contact information, I'll be sure to have his current status when I get back.

- - - - - -

Now, where can I get my tickets to the revival of "Springtime for Hitler?"

A nice day with RQS, taken down a bit by medical news

 

No, I didn't eat any Hot Dogs today.  But I did eat some Chinese/Shanghainese Meatballs with RQS today. And then we went to Governor's Island for Open House NY and the Billion Oyster Project.

But first, I'll start at the end of the day.....

On our way home, I received a text message from my niece once removed (we're of the same age, give or take a few years.)   She told me that my cousin has pancreatic cancer, and that he will be moved to hospice in a few days.  This was not good news for many reasons, one of which was that I intended to get information from him regarding our mutual grandparents.  (I guess this is the least important thing now.)  So I will switch my ID from my female wallet to my male wallet and drive to Poughkeepsie to see him one last time.  

So now, with the better part of the day....

I got up early and dug out one of my fall/winter dresses from my closet.  Given that the overnight temperatures were in the 40's around here, I had to dress for two seasons - and neither of them that well. Luckily, I had a small day pack, in which I could stuff my denim jacket in case I needed it.  Yet, even with this dress, I felt a little bit warm - especially later when walking around Governor's Island.

RQS and I met at a Michelin rated Dim Sum joint near Penn Station: Nan Xiang Xiao Long Bao.  We feasted all too well - both of us were stuffed by the time the last of our 6 dishes arrived.  As much as I enjoyed the Soup Dumplings (their specialty), I enjoyed their udon noodles even more.  This is a great place to eat, and well worth the money we spent for the meal.

Our next stop was Governor's Island.  We took the 7th Avenue local to South Ferry, and made it to the Governor's Island ferry in time for the 2:30 shuttle to the island.  While waiting in line, both of us noticed a large number of Orthodox (and some Ultra Orthodox) Jews taking a day trip to the island.  Both of us commented in our own ways - are you sure we aren't on the ferry to Williamsburg?  (I also made a comment that I was reminded of J.H.Marx's (Groucho Marx's) reputed remark (which he denied) when chatting with a woman with 10 children - "I like my cigar too, but I take it out once in a while.") 

Once on the island, we walked to the Billion Oyster Project, (one of the places listed in this year's OHNY open houses) where the guide was describing their organization's function and telling our group about their efforts to restore oysters to NYC's marine habitat.  Although they will not be eaten, due to the pollution in our waters, they will help the region clean up its waters.  Unfortunately, the guide wanted to lead the group to the other side of the island - and we gave up after a 1+ mile(s) of walking.  At that point, we returned to the ferry and returned to Manhattan.

All too soon, our day ended.  I'll have to make preparations to see my cousin now, because he may not be back when I return from my upcoming cruise.

Philadelphia Trip - 09/10/24

 

The main tourist part of Philadelphia was on "lock down" today, as the presidential debate was being held at the National Constitutional Center on Independence Mall.  This meant that the visitors center and associated buildings would be off-limit to visitors due to security concerns, and that we'd have to go elsewhere for our tourism fix.

- - - - - -

As I noted in yesterday's post, I had GI Tract issues last night and blocked up the toilet.  This morning, RQS and I had to get up early, so that we'd be ready for the maintenance engineer when he arrived.  We were originally told that this man would arrive between 8 and 9 am.  But we later found out that he'd arrive around 9 and 10 am.  This was more than acceptable to us, as RQS would be able to get an extra hour of rest.  Around 9:30, the maintenance engineer arrived, and he used a snake to unclog the pipes.  (The one thing you can't say about me anymore is that I am full of s**t.)  It took a while, but he was done by 10 am.  Then, the cleaning ladies came in to clean up the bathroom before we could get ready to go out for the day.

Noon came, and so did RQS's cousin.  Now, we had to do the hokey-pokey to get into her cousin's clown car. After contorting ourselves into some unnatural positions, we had managed to fit ourselves into her car, and we were off to the Penn Museum to spend much of the day.  We walked through several galleries including Ancient Egypt, the Middle East, and Africa.  By 3:30, we were pooped, and it was time to go to South Philly for some fish at Anastasi Seafood.

RQS's cousin took us past the corner where Pat's and Geno's compete selling cheese steaks. And then we walked up the street a few blocks to a fish monger who would cook food to order to be eaten in a street side shed.  Her cousin had mistakenly this was another place she had gone to, but we decided to eat here anyway.  Can I say much about the food?  Not really.  This is not a restaurant after all - this is a fish monger that cooks food.  The seafood platter wasn't bad, but it wasn't NYC's Oyster Bar either.

We were dropped off at the hotel around 6 pm, and we relaxed a bit before going out for some ice cream.  It looked like this was a day where the police had to make their presence known, as they didn't want to be held to task if anything would occur in the upcoming debate.  Once we finished our ice cream, it was back to the hotel to watch the debate.  Would it change any minds?  No.  Hard core people with locked in positions would never be swayed by a debate.  But it did show that our former president wasn't up to the task of leading this country.  I hope that he doesn't get the chance to do so again.

Philadelphia Trip - 09/09/24

This would likely be the saddest sight we'd see on this trip - the S.S.United States, just before it is expected to be towed away from Philadelphia to a place in Florida where it will be sunk and turned into an artificial reef.  For people who enjoy trips upon the water, knowing that this once great ship is likely being scuttled and turned into an artificial reef soon.

- - - - - - -

When we awoke, we got moving relatively quickly, as we were meeting RQS's cousin after breakfast to do some sightseeing.  Luckily, there was a place down the street where we could get some breakfast, and we walked over there around 9:30 am.  By the time we were done with breakfast, we still had time to kill before her cousin arrived at 11:00 am. Before I go too far, getting into RQS's cousin's car is like trying to load clowns into a clown car.  Mini Coopers are small to begin with, and both RQS and I had to perform unnatural body movements to get in and out of the car.  So both of us felt cramped as we drove the 20 blocks to reach the Mütter Museum.  

The Mütter Museum is a museum of medical oddities, but not in a way you'd expect from a circus sideshow.  Instead, the exhibits are tastefully presented, with respect for the people whose bodies these artifacts are taken from.  One can view many medical maladies, and see how the body and skeleton is affected by them. This is not a museum whose collection would be assembled today.  Yet, it is a valuable guide to how doctors would learn about these ailments over a century ago.

Next, it was off to drive past the "corpse" of the S.S. United States.  This ship was stripped of almost everything important years ago, and is now a rusting hulk on Philadelphia's shoreline. The conservancy that owns the ship has been in a dispute with the owners of the pier where it is docked over docking fees, and the ship was scheduled to be evicted this week. Yet, I can't but help hope that someone will rescue this ship and find a way to preserve it before it is turned into an artificial reef. On the way back to the hotel, we passed by the area which will be cordoned off for the presidential debate.  It's sad to need such security these days, but American politics are too polarized to take any chances with the candidates' lives.  

Later on, it was off to dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant.  It was Restaurant Week, so we chose the special from their list of offerings.  Although the food was good, I'm not sure if I'd eat there again, as the service was slow and not up to our standards.  Once we got back to the hotel, the "fun" began....

As I've mentioned here before, I have GI Tract issues.  (I'll have to change my diet, as I need to introduce more roughage my meals.  But I digress....)  Unfortunately, I clogged the toilet, and we couldn't get late night maintenance - and we were told to use the toilet in the club room for the rest of the evening.  AARGH!  Even the use of a plunger didn't help.  (I have a stronger one at home.  The cheap one here was worthless.)  There was no way we'd get dressed to go to another floor to relieve ourselves, so we figured we'd figure out a way to make do until maintenance would arrive at 9:00 am the next day.

California Vacation - Day 08 (San Diego)

 

San Diego.  It was nice NOT having to entertain my new friend for a change.  She found someone else to keep her company, and I can have free time for myself for the last day of the cruise.

- - - - - -

But let me start at the beginning....

Again, I didn't get a good sleep, and woke up much earlier than needed.  It was just as well, as I had a schedule for the day: Have Breakfast in the buffet, then get off the ship and see RQS's cousin.  Since I didn't make arrangements to see my new friend, I enjoyed breakfast without having to talk with anyone. And then, all I had to do was wait for RQS's cousin (I'll call her "C" for now) to arrive at the pier.

Around 11 am, C arrived, and I met her in a female presentation for the first time.  There was no strange reaction, and C made the effort to call me Marian for the entire time we spent together.  We weren't sure of what we were going to do at first.  Did we want to go to the Zoo?  Or, did we just want to hang out and chat?  Chatting won out.  

C drove me through downtown San Diego to show me around, then she drove to Harbor Island where we sat on a park bench for 90 minutes before going to a local restaurant which overlooked the water.  Lunch was my treat - I was glad to show her that I appreciated her company.  And she was glad that RQS and I found each other. All too soon, C had to go home.  She didn't want to drive in rush hour traffic, and I wanted to get back to the ship.  So, C dropped me off and I did my thing onboard the ship.

- - - - - -

Once back onboard the ship, I took a break before going to dinner.  I had reservations for a shared table, and was willing to wait until other people showed up. While waiting, I saw one of the people I dined with last night. and said hello just before they finished their after dinner coffee.  It was nice to see him, and even nicer to see his wife.  Too bad she couldn't have been with us at our table - we had a great crowd.

A few minutes later, a lovely couple from the North of England joined me.  We enjoyed chatting about shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.  Needless to say, I wished we could have chatted longer in a more quiet place.  Then, it was time to go back to my room for the evening.

California Vacation 2023 - San Diego

 

Our plan for the day was to meet RQS’s Cousin, then see San Diego’s Old Town and Balboa Park. We made sure to have a quick breakfast and get off the ship by 10:30, so we could meet her cousin by the pier. This plan worked like a charm, save that her cousin parked a little further away than planned. When we met her cousin, it was like ‘old home week’ for the two of them. Conversation between the three of us flowed quickly, as her cousin drove us to Old Town San Diego.

For those who don’t know San Diego, Old Town is where the original settlement of San Diego was established. The site consists of many buildings which illustrate what life was like for the original settlers before the seat of government moved to a new site five miles away. We latched onto a tour already in progress, and learned a bit about the site before moving on to some of the remaining exhibits.

Then, it was off to Balboa park. I can not do justice to this park, other than show some photos I took. “Museum Row” is inside this park, as well as the famed San Diego Zoo. Much of the architecture in the park hearkens to the Spanish Colonial era, but modern architecture is found there as well. We had a nice lunch at a restaurant there before moving on to the artist community. And that’s where RQS looked at the handicrafts that were on sale, while her cousin and I took a rest in the shade.

Eventually, the cousin’s daughter arrived, and we took a walk over to the Zoo’s entrance. This was where we took some pictures of us against the Roaring Lion statue by the entrance. And then we walked some more before getting ready to leave. Before proceeding to the car, we got someone to take our pictures in front of a fountain there.

Once back in the car, RQS’s cousin drove us back to the ship. The three of us wished this visit could last longer, and hoped we could do this again soon. And then it was onto the ship. After going through the security gauntlet (not as bad as it once was on other cruises), we were back on the ship and ready to have dinner.

Once we refreshed ourselves, we went to one of the complimentary restaurants and sat down at a shared table. Two of our table mates were well traveled, and pleasant to talk with. Unfortunately, the next couple seated at our table ruined the meal for the first couple. The lady could be best characterized as an “Entitled Jewish American Princess”. The soup was not hot enough for her. The game hen was not moist enough for her. And she inconvenienced everyone enough in her attempt to make the theater on time, that the remaining four of us were denied that option.

Sadly, this was not the way I like to remember dinner with new people….

California Vacation 2023 - We're on our way!

 

The California Coast.  I haven't been here in a while, but surprisingly,  I wasn't feeling that great about taking this cruise.  My uncle might not want to see me.  I might not enjoy the visit to San Francisco. And RQS's cousin (in San Diego) and I might not get along.  So many things could go wrong, and I wasn't yet ready for this trip.

So it was with a little trepidation that I trekked off to RQS's place on the day before our flight.  I took the time to explain this to her, and she understood how I was feeling.  She was a little nervous, as she'd be leaving her 18 year old cat with the sitter for 10 days.  Even with these things on our mind, we were committed to this trip, and hoped to enjoy it, no matter what happened.

- - - - - -

The next day, it was off to the airport.  We got there a bit early and breezed through security, leaving us 2 hours to kill before the flight was to board.  When we checked our bags, we found that our seats had been changed.  Our plane was changed, and we were lucky to get compatible seat assignments to what we had on the original plane.  We boarded the plane quickly, accidentally cutting in front of the line. And this gave us the leeway to find space in the overhead bins for our carry-on luggage and my CPAP machine.  Given that we were told that there might not be enough space in the overhead bins, this was a stroke of good fortune.

About 6 hours later, we were in Los Angeles, and made our way to the hotel.  We found that by being a member of the hotel's loyalty program, we could get free wi-fi.  So I signed up, but the software wouldn't let me finish the demographic entry process.  This was a problem that the hotel's staff couldn't fix.  And this caused me to be charged for wi-fi later on.  (Mariott's Bonvoy software is crap, and I don't trust their programmers to get things right - avoid the chain and its partners if possible.)  

Being tired, we didn't bother to shop around for a restaurant, as there was nothing in walking distance of the airport hotels.  Instead, we ate at the hotel, and spent $120 for a dinner we could get at a local diner for $50.  You can guess how quickly we fell asleep after dinner....

Seeing RQS's Cousin & Wife

 

This was an interesting day for us, as it was one where I screwed up a little and things worked out better because of it....

- - - - - -

RQS and I were supposed to meet her cousin and his wife at a local eatery.  Normally, one doesn't need a reservation to eat there.  But for Sunday brunch, they advise getting one ahead of time.  Not knowing this, I didn't make the reservation and found out that we'd have to wait an hour before having a chance to eat there.  So, we checked with her cousin and agreed to eat at a local diner.

Going to DD's diner in Ossining in the past revealed a limited menu.  But in a pinch, the diner was always a reliable place for me to eat.  This time, I was impressed, as they returned to their pre-pandemic full menu.  This gave us a chance to have a filling meal, and time to have a leisurely chat.  And chat we did!  We got along as if we have been the closest of friends for years.  I was surprised to find that her cousin noticed my tiny earrings.  But then, he is a doctor, and trained to notice these things.

All too soon, they had to leave for their home (they live 5 hours away), and we had to get back to my place to take care of things.  In a conversation we had afterwards, RQS and I had a feeling that they would be accepting of my Marian side.  Maybe one day, I'll reveal it to them and find out.

DC Trip 2023 - Day 01

 

Alexandria, VA - Old Town.  This was where we stayed in the DC metropolitan area.  The hotel we planned to stay at was about a block's walk from the Metro station, and had been chosen for easy access to Washington DC.  I figured that if we could easily commute into the city from a nearby suburb, we'd be able to avoid the need for a car while in the city - and I was right.

But first....

Since I hadn't heard back from one of my TG friends and that the other was at a Cosplay Convention, I decided that I would make this trip as Mario.  This would be an advantage for me, because it was too cold (save for the last 2 days of our trip) for me to wear the skirts and dresses I love wearing when presenting as Marian.  So I packed my bag only with Mario's clothes and stayed the night with RQS the day before our trip to DC.

Thursday morning came, and we were off to DC.  We took an Uber to Penn Station, but the driver didn't know enough to drop us off on West 33rd Street, in the designated area for Uber/Lyft pickups and drop-offs.  So we ended up getting out of the car on 8th Avenue - something I dislike when dealing with baggage.  Our next stop was the Amtrak waiting area, but we didn't have long to wait.  We were able to board the train within 20 minutes of our arrival.

Those who take Amtrak know that most trips tend to take longer than scheduled - save for trips along the Northeast Corridor.  This section of the national railroad network is controlled (mostly) by Amtrak, and has a reasonably high number of on-time trains.  For a 11:35 am departure, we knew that we'd be in DC around 3 pm - and we were not disappointed.  But then, it was time to find a cab to take us to Alexandria.  Unlike the outside chaos at New York's Penn Station, things at DC's Union Station are calm and reasonably organized.  It was easy for us to find a cab to get us where we needed to go.  So we headed to our hotel, checked in, and relaxed for a while.

Around 5:30, we departed the hotel and walked 1 block to the Metro.  We met RQS's cousin (and his wife) at Hot 'n Juicy Crawfish in the Adams-Morgan section of town, and had a great time.  But all too soon it was time to go back to the hotel.  It was nice for the cousin to offer to drive us back - and we got into a friendly, animated, but not agitated conversation. (When talking about the GOP and its attacks on our freedoms to control what is done (or not) to our bodies, I mentioned where I stand on transgender issues.  Luckily, both RQS's cousin and his wife lean left of center.)  When we got back to the hotel, the cousin's wife made sure to give us an extra friendly hug - as a way of telling us that they really enjoyed our company, and want to see us both again soon.