It may not have been the holiday we planned for, but...

 

Well, what can I say about a holiday other than it's best when you can be with the people we care for.  In my case, I spent the day at home with RQS, rather then getting dressed up in nice dresses to go out to a fancy restaurant and then to see friends.

But first....

RQS was recovering from being in the hospital.  After two nights in medical prison (that's what I'll call a hospital which won't release a person when the doctors say she's ready to go home), she needed a good night's sleep.  And that's what she got - at least twelve hours of it.  So we weren't ready to go out for an early Turkey dinner at a local diner.  This forced us to fall into our backup plan which I had prepared for.

My backup for Thanksgiving was to cook some sausage based stuffing (technically, dressing, as it is never inside of a bird during the cooking process), a 2 1/2 lb. Turkey Breast, and make some Bananas Foster for dessert.  (I even had another level of backup, as I had purchased 4 Large Chicken Breasts 2 days before, as I couldn't find a bird small enough to cook for 2 people.) Luckily, we had the key ingredients for a Holiday Feast, even though we didn't have the Cranberry Sauce to go with our turkey.

Around 12:30 pm / 1:00 pm, we started to make the stuffing.  And this was the most labor intensive part of the meal, as we had to dry out fresh bread to ready it for use, cook the onions and celery, then cook some sausage, then mix everything together before baking it for 90 minutes.  Of course, we should have started the turkey at this time, but I delayed an hour.  By the time dinner was ready, it was a little after 4:00 pm.  And then, our plans to visit friends in Yonkers were shot - we were both way too full to even consider getting dressed and being in a position to even have a small bite to eat with friends.

Yet, with all being said, this was a good holiday.  RQS saw that I am more than willing to go out of my way for her, and I had a little fun doing the cooking for a change..

A rescue from a "Medical Prison"

 

By the time you read this, RQS will have been out of the hospital for 2 weeks. Hopefully, her blood levels will be level, and that she will not need a new medication.

- - - - - -

On the day before Thanksgiving, RQS was still in the hospital waiting to be released.  Having given the shift supervisor holy hell the night before, it seems like things started to get moving quickly. By the time I got to the hospital, she had been given her new prescription and was ready to go home.  Although she was released, the social worker assigned to her had arranged for RQS to get lunch - which never came.  So, RQS got dressed, and we took an Uber back to her place.

Once at RQS's place, we rested for a while.  Then, RQS got dressed, and we left for Croton.  A couple of hours later, we were in my car and off to get some Chinese food for dinner.  We've been to this place near Jefferson Valley several times, but we've never came close to spending $100.  This time, we broke that barrier - but it was well worth it!  We started with the Seafood Soup for 2, and then proceeded to the main course.  RQS had the mixed Seafood over thin, fried noodles, while I had the Roast Duck with Mixed Veggies.  Everything was very tasty and well worth every cent.

By the time we got home, RQS was ready to crash.  After a few minutes watching TV, we were back in the bedroom - where she promptly fell into a much needed 13 hour sleep.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

 

Right now, many things have been going thru my head.  Here's a list of some of the things that are giving me a little angst:

1. Trump's Cabinet Choices. 
   
   All of our future president's cabinet choices so far seem to have escaped from a clown car.  People such as RFK Jr. should be nowhere near any positions of power in any agency related to public health.  While watching the news, I was reminded about RFK's visit to Samoa, and the misinformation he likes to spread regarding vaccines.
   
   
2. Trump's Political Revenge.
   
   DJT has vowed to take revenge on people who opposed him.  Can we afford for the Justice Department to be weaponized?  I doubt it.
   
   
3. A possible upcoming trade war.
   
   We get cheap goods from the world over.  We can no longer produce low-cost goods, as they depend on low-cost labor.  Who can afford to live in the US if paid Mexican wages?  Making threats against Canada and Mexico will be counter productive, as the economies of the 3 nations are tightly integrated.  Do we want to dismantle NAFTA (or, whatever it is called now)?  I don't.  Most US goods are produced with other goods sourced from around the world.  We can not untangle this profitable web of trade connections without becoming North Korea.
   
   
4. The Christian Nationalist war against the LGBT community.
   
   When blowhards are trying to deny Sarah McBride her right to relieve herself in one of the Capitol's lavatories, it shows how deep seated hatreds based on religious bias can cause us harm. We're seeing states like Texas, Louisiana, and Florida making moves to teach the bible in their public school classrooms.  Do we want to become like Iran, where only one religion and one standard of behaviors is acceptable?  I don't think so.
   
   
5. Health Care.
   
   Recently, my partner, RQS had a medical issue that caused her to go to the emergency room, and then be admitted to the hospital.  However, once admitted, the hospital's bureaucracy got in the way of her being released due to non-medical reasons, causing he to miss having a fancy holiday dinner at a local restaurant.  Something has to be done to monitor both the progress of medical care, as well as the administrative process that could result in a person being kept in the hospital longer than medically needed.
   
   No one likes feeling like a product on an assembly line, and that is how RQS felt during her stay in the hospital.  Somehow, patients' emotional well being has become the least important item in a hospital's priority list.  No wonder why people fear going to the doctor.  Once a person has no control over any part of what is being done to him/her, they avoid losing any control at any cost.  The emotional trade off isn't worth having good health.
   
   
6. Family.
   
   My brother and sister in law do not have the best of marriages.  One day, when my brother was out, I called the house and we got into a conversation.  Without going into details here, she still loves my brother, but feels like she is being neglected by him.  On his side, he resents how her illness has affected his life - as if it was a moral failure.  It is a recipe for disaster, as neither of them are able to communicate well with each other, and long standing resentments get in the way of breaking down the walls between them.
   
   
7. Friends.
   
   The divisive political climate we have in the USA reminds many of a dysfunctional marital relationship, where two spouses constantly bicker all the time.  Sadly, my country at a macro level reflects what many people are experiencing at a micro level.  For example, the friend who was the best man at my wedding has changed in a very different way than I have.  He has effectively consumed the Kool-Aid, while I have learned to detect it and avoid it.  His attitude towards transgender people would be acceptable in the backwoods of Texas or in the deep reaches of Louisiana's Bayou country, but not around here.  I believe in live and let live, not imposing yourself on others.  I can only imagine his reaction if he knew I was Trans.
   
   Other friends are more accepting.  The host and hostess of game night have a Trans child, and have no problems with me.  Yes, their child has to live in both worlds and make their way through life.  Yet, the parents are preparing their child for their life ahead.  It's amazing that when people are continually exposed to different people how accepting of differences they become.
   
   
8. Planned and Unplanned Expenses.
   
   I bought my car knowing that I'd be spending a prince's ransom to keep it in running order. This is not a bad thing.  If one has a well designed car, one can keep it on the road for a long time with proper maintenance.  I was willing to trade money for a safer car than I was driving for the past 10 years.
   
   However, cell phones are designed to be disposable commodities.  I hate spending money on a new phone when the old one works perfectly well, but should need only minor maintenance.  In my case, my current cell phone has a dying battery that needs immediate replacement.  (It shouldn't even be used until the battery is replaced.)  Sadly, my phone wasn't designed in a way that I could replace the battery (as I could with my first cell phone).  Instead, I have to buy a new phone, or order a replacement battery and have a specialist install it for me.  Something is very wrong here.
   
   Now that I am retired, I am much more sensitive to money that leaves my wallet.  Yes, I'm in the age bracket where one should expect to drain one's lifetime savings.  And yet, the weight of all these expenses will always bother me a bit.
   

A prolonged hospital stay, a cancelled holiday dinner, and a chip in my windshield.

 

Today should have been a good day.  RQS was supposed to leave the hospital and come up here.  But thanks to modern bureaucracy, she's stuck in the hospital for another night.

- - - - - -

I'm writing this post two days before Thanksgiving.  On Monday, RQS went to the doctor for some blood work, and ended up in the emergency room due to high potassium levels.  Although she was stabilized by morning, she was caught in a bureaucratic nightmare.  Both the doctors and nurses told her that she'd be going home today.  But the fates didn't get the message.

Around 9 am, RQS was told (for the first time) that she'd be going home by the afternoon.  Noon came and went, and she was told that she'd be out of the hospital before dinner.  Dinner came and went, and RQS was about to lose her cool for the third time. 

"I was told I'd be going home.  Why haven't I been discharged yet?"

The nurse on duty could only say that she was sorry, and gave the usual line of BS.  RQS demanded to see a supervisor, and found out a little more.  The medicine that works for her is expensive, and the hospital couldn't give RQS a supply without authorization from her drug formulary.  AARGH! 

"Why couldn't this have been prioritized during the day?" 

"Why has everyone been telling me that I'd be going home today?"  

"Why am I being treated like a cog in a machine, instead of a person with feelings?"

She had many more questions that couldn't be answered, and the supervisor had no power to do anything for her, save to say that he'd make a note to the daytime shift to make this a high priority.  BS, MS, and PhD - Bull S**t, More of the Same, and Piled Higher and Deeper.  If she was a VIP, they could have moved mountains for her.  But she is not.  She was breaking down on the phone.

- - - - - -

Now that we had no confidence that RQS would be discharged the day before the holiday, I decided to cancel the holiday dinner we planned at a local restaurant.  Then, I went to the supermarket, and my car's windshield got hit by a stone.  Now, I have to go to Safelite to get the windshield fixed before the bitter cold sets in.

I can't wait until the holiday is over and we can get back to normal....

If we only could have known what the day would bring.

 

As I write this, RQS is being admitted into the hospital for complications related to her potassium levels. You can only imagine how I felt when I heard the news.  But first....

- - - - - -

Today started out being a very nice day.  The sun was out, and we had a nice walk to my car before dropping her off at the local subway station.  I went on my way home, and she went on her way to the doctor's office to get some blood work done.  By the time I got home and started to relax, I got a call from RQS.  And this is when the day soured.

RQS told me that the doctors were holding her for a second test.  And again, her potassium levels were high enough to send her to the emergency room.  Now, I started to get worried for two reasons.  First, I want RQS to be around for a quite a few years, so any illness worries me.  Second, we had reservations for a Thanksgiving dinner that might have to be cancelled.  Too bad that I couldn't have stayed on Long Island and returned to a parking spot near her house, so that I could pick up stuff and deliver it to her.

Later in the evening, RQS sent me a message that she was being admitted to the hospital.  This meant that I'd have to be ready to bring her a change of clothes, a cell phone charger, some books, and other things that I can't remember at the moment.  Hopefully, she'll only need the change of clothes to go home when I see her.

- - - - - -

You can only guess how hectic my day is going to be tomorrow....

The only reason we left the house was to move the car.

 

RQS lives on a street with Alternate Side of the Street parking.  When I arrived on Friday, I parked on the wrong side of the street for short term convenience, knowing that I'd have to move my car again if I wanted to stay over until Monday morning.  Well, Sunday came, and I planned to stay over.

Around 3:30 pm, we went out to move the car.  It was in front of the building next door, and I had to move it to an opposite side of the street.  (Her side is no parking on Monday/Thursday mornings, while the other side is no parking on Tuesday/Friday mornings.)  We got very lucky.  There was a good open spot right around the corner.  So, I parked there before we headed to the supermarket.

The area of Queens we were in borders Brooklyn, and this is one of many neighborhoods in NYC where per-consolidation street grids clash.  The bus route that RQS takes to the subway was established when trolleys ran between Brooklyn and Queens, and had to be changed slightly when some awkward intersections were taken off the street grid.  As a result, the main bus route that takes us to a key subway station makes a strange zig-zag before it crosses Myrtle Avenue.  For us, we didn't need to do the zig-zag, as we could walk along the path the road once took and cross Myrtle Avenue without problems, on our way to the supermarket.

The Ridgewood, Glendale and Bushwick neighborhoods are undergoing ethnic change.  Gone are the days when both Ridgewood and Glendale were German neighborhoods, although some traces of this still remain in a few stores which were founded during that era.  Now, the Spanish speaking community has moved into some of the blocks while others are being gentrified.  Gone are the days when one could rent a 2 bedroom apartment for under $2,000.  Given the going rate in RQS's area, I don't know how any newcomers can afford to live there.  But I digress.

We reached the supermarket and picked up some things to have with our leftovers meal that evening.  We had a sweet tooth for Ice Cream Sandwiches, so we picked up some Klondike Cookies & Cream.  Then, we picked up an apple pie before walking back to RQS's place.  Sadly, neither of these items were to our liking.  We prefer Fat Boy's Ice Cream Sandwiches to Klondike's.  And the apple pie was best left forgotten, the brand never to be purchased again.

Were the leftovers good?  Yes.  Was it worth staying over an extra night?  Of course.  But, do I wish I found a spot on the right side of the street on Friday?  YES!!!!  Both of us would rather have stayed in bed until evening.  But if we had done so, I would have had to leave for home that night.

Lunch with RQS's friend.

RQS and I haven't been to this restaurant in a while.  And it's always a treat going here.  This time, we went with RQS's friend, spending the better part of the afternoon with her.

- - - - - -

The day began with neither of us wanting to get out of bed.  It was cold the night before, and we were comfy under the covers when we woke up.  Our friend would be coming around 12:30 pm - 1 pm, and we didn't want to make her wait for us.  So both of rushed to get showered and dressed, and we were ready just as the friend got to RQS's door.

Our friend, let's call her J for now, arrived and we proceeded to chat for a few minutes before summoning an Uber.  One catch - the Uber arrived in less than a minute after summoning.  So RQS ended locking her door as J was getting into the car.  15 minutes later, we were at Zum Stammtisch and ready to feast.  However, we had to wait another 10 minutes for a table to be cleared for us before sitting down.

Once seated, we took our time to order, and then the food arrived.  I enjoyed some herring in cream before my jagerschnitzel arrived.  After lunch, we ordered dessert, and I had some warm strudel topped with ice cream.  No one rushed us, and we had time for a leisurely lunch and post meal discussion.  We then returned to RQS's apartment until J's friend came to pick her up.

What I didn't mention so far is that J is visually impaired, and that she uses Ubers to get around instead of Access-a-Ride (AAR).  I can't blame her, as AAR isn't that reliable.  (This is a well known issue among the visually impaired community.)  None of us wanted to take buses on a cold and blustery day, so we used Ubers to get to the restaurant.  On the whole, it was a very nice day, and I hope that the 3 of us can get together again soon. (And I hope we'll be able to tell J about my alter ego as well.)