A day doing nothing (a short post)

 

For the most part, RQS and I did nothing all day.  Yes, we did a small amount of cleaning. But most of the day was spent doing nothing but watching videos and relaxing.

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RQS and I have gotten into a routine of spending one day each weekend doing nothing but relaxing.  This is a good thing, as we both are on the go in our own ways during the week.  RQS does take care of more things than I do.  But I find that amidst all my mind's wanderings, I seem to get the most important things (to me) done.

I had gotten showered and dressed for only one reason - to pay the delivery person for Chinese food being delivered to my door.  Once done eating, I decided to change into something sexy and wait until RQS was ready for bed.  This was the perfect thing to do this evening, as both of us were in the mood.

As I said - for the most part, it was a day spent doing much of nothing.

Lobster was one of many food truck selections we had today

 

RQS had a hankering for a lobster roll today, and I indulged it after taking care of some other business. But first....

Neither of us were in a hurry to get up this morning, and we took our time to get moving.  It was one of those days where I couldn't get up before noon, and RQS indulged my need for sleep.  It's just as well, as I felt more awake than usual after having an interrupted 8+ hours of sleep.  This would be my third day with RQS in Marian mode, and I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass.

When we got moving, we first went to another furniture store to look at some more choices.  And again, the salesperson was all over us looking to make a sale. This sales person didn't bother me as much as she did RQS.  But we were still not ready to buy anything.  So it was off to Dobbs Ferry and the Lobster Truck.

It took us a little while to find our way to the train station, but we were rewarded by a multitude of food trucks at the riverside festival.  As much as I wasn't in the mood to spring for a couple of lobster rolls, I knew they would be a good value and that they would make RQS happy - so they were worth busting the budget a little.  And yet, we were both hungry afterwards.  So it was time to raid the ice box and finish off the Chinese food we left there

Since RQS decided to stay until tomorrow afternoon, I had to text DS to tell her that I couldn't make it for hiking.  I know she was upset, but what could I do?  I will always put my relationship with RQS first.  She is the only woman I've met in years that accepts me for who and what I am, and doesn't care much about what I wear.  She is a blessing, and I try to make her as happy as I can....

Seeing someone off that I wish I knew better

 

A little while ago, Vicki #2's spouse passed away.  Today RQS and I went to the memorial service held in their memory.

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Normally, neither of us likes to get up early. But today was different.  I woke up before the alarm, and I took my shower before RQS got up. By the time we were ready, we had a half hour to make it to Mt. Kisco when we noticed a slight drizzle starting.  So off we went in the steadily worsening weather to the memorial service.  We arrived around 10:30, with more than enough time to find parking in the small lot.  By the time 11:00 came, we were happy to have arrived early.

Several speeches were given regarding memories of Vicki's transgender spouse, (I mention this only because this was an important part of their identity) and by the time the service ended, both RQS and I wished we had the chance to know "the captain" better.  We stayed a little while at the post memorial reception, gave our condolences to Vicki, and we were on our way to our next stop, JC Penney in Danbury.

We arrived at the mall, and RQS started shopping for some things to wear on our upcoming cruise. Both of us were underwhelmed by the selection of products at the store.  RQS bought a couple of tops before we left. And then it was off to the furniture store to look at replacement sofas for my place and recliners for RQS's place.  Both of us were impressed by several sofas and recliners we sat in, but were put off by the omnipresence of the salesman.  He wanted to make a sale, and make it today.  But neither of us were willing to do so.  

Our next stop was at a Chinese restaurant that I visited with my former cruise partner.  As usual, the food was good here, and we had leftovers to eat later on.  Yum!  At least we didn't get caught in a deluge on the way home.

Another weekend with RQS - Day 1

 

I'm afraid that I accidentally donated this dress several months ago.  When I showed RQS this picture, she noted that it was a good look for me, and that she'd keep an eye out for it as we looked through my storage bins this weekend.

But first....

As I've noted, I now arrive ar Croton Harmon station in Marian Mode to pick RQS up on arrival.  She is very comfortable with this, and has gotten used to seeing me wearing a dress when we go out to eat.  Yes, it may be a little subversive in nature, but we're comfortable with it, and that's all I care about.

This week, we decided to do something different and go to a Chinese Buffet near me.  Both of us pigged out.  RQS was impressed with the quality of the buffet.  I was gobsmacked with the inflated price of the buffet.  (I'm not complaining here.  It is just sticker shock, as I haven't been to this place since before the pandemic.)

What pleasantly surprised me today was that RQS is becoming more comfortable with me in Marian mode.  Although I'll always be there for her as Mario, it is nice that she accepts Marian as well....

The only reason I left the house was to get some food.

 

General Tso's Chicken.  It's one of the tastiest foods you can order at a Chinese take out place, but it is neither healthy, nor is it Chinese in origin.   Several years ago, Jennifer 8 Lee gave a Ted Talk regarding the origins of this dish. And her talk gave me new insights into the origins of "Chinese Food" in America.

When I want comfort food from a Chinese take out place, General Tso's Chicken is one of the dishes I usually will order.  Lately, most places have been turning down the heat on this dish, as most Americans like bland food.  As for me, I usually want strong flavors in my food, save when I'm eating slowly and for taste.  Then, I want the subtleties in a dish's flavors to come out without assaulting me.  

Today was one of those days I wanted some Chinese comfort food. And you can easily guess what I ordered.  It was a good excuse to get showered and dressed for the first time in a couple of days.  Given that the pandemic will shut down California in the next few days (as I write this), I expect that New York will soon follow their lead. That means that I'll have to enjoy getting out now, while I can still do so.

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Before things started getting shut down, Andrew Sullivan mentioned  Camus' "The Plague"  in his blog.  Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to read this book before everything shut down in March.  So I put the book on hold, and waited until I could get it from my local library.  Towards the beginning of May, the library reopened.  But it was not business as usual.  One had to put all book requests on hold, and once available, pick up these books on a table inside the library's vestibule.  No one was being allowed to enter the library, save for the people who worked there.   After reading the book, I started to understand why my reactions to my ex (and she towards me) were so magnified.  More importantly, I started to understand why some people were likely to suffer pandemic fatigue - after a point, people stop feeling that they have any control over their lives.

After a summer and fall which allowed us to socialize with some degree of normalcy, it looks like the second wave of the pandemic is going to be worse than the first wave.  Before, the effects of the pandemic were limited to a handful of states.  Now, the pandemic is nationwide, with the worst effects in states who acted as if the pandemic was God's curse on the "Liberal" states.  Although there is a part of me that is enjoying a form of Schadenfreude, seeing many of the "Deep Red" states suffer as we did in the Tri-state area, I'd rather that no one go through what we went through in the spring. There are people I know who couldn't get essential health care because hospitals were flooded with Covid-19 patients.  No one should endure that.

I figure that most of us will be staying isolated until sometime in April, when things have started to warm up and vaccinations are being given to the general population.  By that time, the general populace of this country will start receiving their vaccinations.  Will the rest of the nation behave in ways described in Camus' novel?  One thing I know, take out restaurants will still be allowed to function, and I will still be able to get my General Tso's Chicken.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A belated Merry Christmas!

As usual, the Christmas Holiday started for me the night before.  GFJ was away with her family, and I had an evening out as Marian.  And where does a T-Gal like me go when she wants to be with people on Christmas Eve?  Church, of course.

Christmas Eve would be the only chance I'd have to spend some time with people in Marian Mode, and I made sure to dress up nice for the evening.  So I made my face up, put on a little black dress, and out the door I went.  Arriving at the church about 30 minutes early, I decided to call my brother to figure out what we were going to do the next day. He told me that he'd call me back in the morning, as my sister in law just checked into rehab. (I can only imagine how much of a hit this is going to be to their savings.  She has a nasty habit of self destructing every time something good starts going on in my brother's life.)  So we disconnected for the evening, and I walked into the Church.

As I've mentioned before, this parish shares a priest and a deaconess with a sister parish a few miles away.  This parish gets the priest for Christmas Eve, and the other for Christmas Day.  It is an arrangement that is working for now.  But as parishioners die out (or move away), one church will likely be de-consecrated.  Given the location of this parish, the land is more valuable than the building as it is in a very convenient part of town.  Of course, I can also see the building being sold off to a growing congregation, most likely made up of Korean or Chinese immigrants.  (I've seen this happen with other churches in the lower Hudson Valley, so this wouldn't be a surprise.)  Luckily, the sister parish has more than enough room for the people from this church, and it is only a short drive away.

In my childhood, churches would be packed both on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day.  Christmas Eve's attendance was between a third to a quarter of what the church could hold when fully packed.  Unlike my past visits, I decided to sit halfway to the front of the pews.  This time, I felt I had made a mistake, but not for anything to do with my acceptance as Marian.  When the service started, and the hymn singing began, the fellow behind me was singing in the most god awful off key voice I've ever heard.  It took away from my enjoyment of hearing the choir sing.  But I won't complain much.  The older gentleman behind me was continuing a tradition of communal participating in the singing of hymns.

While I'm on the topic of hymn singing, I have to mention something that made me feel good.  The service started with the choir singing "Silent Night" in German.  Although I grew up with the English language version of the song, this is one composition that sounds better in German.  (Sadly, there are way too many people who think that German can't sound just as silky smooth as a romance language.  This version of the song puts that misconception to rest.)  This choir is one of the reasons I enjoy going to this church.  They have a good music director, and bring back feelings of what church should have been like when I grew up.

Around 9:30, the service ended and I had a question to answer.  Do I go to a movie? Or, do I go to a diner and have a pre-Christmas dinner?  I chose the dinner.  By the time I was done, I had missed the last showing of the movie for the evening.  So I ended up going home for the night.

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Christmas came with no phone call from my brother.  So I had to call him to find out what we were doing for the day.  He said to come down, and we'll pick dad up from the nursing home, then we'll order some Chinese.  I had to joke with him about becoming an honorary Jew for the day, as many Jews have made it a tradition to go to Chinese restaurants on Christmas.  This allows them to eat out on Christmas Day, enjoying a cuisine which doesn't mix dairy and meat products.  (Of course, the idea of eating "Safe Treyf" also appeals to many.)  So I proceeded to get ready to go out while my brother made his trip to the nursing home to pick up my dad.

Leaving my place a little after 2:00, I arrived at my brother's place around 3:15.  The usual traffic jams didn't cause me any problems, as I was able to take side streets from the Clearview Expressway out to my brother's place.  As expected, my brother had Chinese takeout menus in hand for us to place our orders. A little later, we had a nice feast on food that was both too salty and too fatty while being too tasty to resist.  My brother wanted to show a video that he had saved on his phone. But we couldn't figure out how to cast screen images from the phone to the TV.  The closest we came was getting YouTube videos to display on his TV, and that bothered my brother.  He spent the next hour trying to get things to work with his phone and his TV to no avail.  By the time 7:00 came around, I was getting tired, and I needed the second cup of coffee to give me the energy to drive home safely.

On the way home, I chatted with GFJ, who had just dropped her mom off at her place. We agreed on when we'd meet tomorrow, but not the where.  Neither of us knew which movies were playing at the local theaters, and I said that I'd check things out and give her some choices that she could look at when she got home.

Keep your fingers crossed for me....

Something to watch out for.

Every so often, JS has asked if I could accompany her to a reading from a psychic in Massachusetts.  I've occasionally have been able to do so.  But each time I've made myself available, she has either called in sick or has asked me to drive her to the appointment.  JS doesn't want to put more mileage on her car, even though she is driving 150 miles each day to go to work and back.  As you can guess, there's a lot to watch out for here, and that I'd be a fool to get caught up in her problems.

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This morning, I woke up shortly after 6:30 am, and started checking my messages.  I noticed that JS was asking me to do the driving for her visit to her psychic.  It wouldn't be a good idea for me to trade the dependency of my former cruise partner for a new, more dysfunctional friend.  I have gotten to the point where I want friends who can stand on their own, even if it means that I have fewer friends to be with.

Being fully awake at 6:30 means that I will likely lose steam later in the day.  Additionally, it allows me to be fully awake when watching the morning's political news.  And I took this opportunity to do so.  Like the political pundits, I found that Mike Bloomberg's probable entry into the 2020 Democratic nomination contest to be an important development.  More importantly, I think that he might just be the one candidate who can pummel Trump in all the ways that are important.  No one can say that Bloomberg is dishonest.  No one can say that Bloomberg mismanaged his political office.  And no one can say that a Bloomberg administration will be filled with scandal.  He might be the one person who can both fix the damage Trump has done to the government and set up a system of numbers based governing that could be useful to future administrations.

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My niece and I were supposed to get together tonight for a museum night.  Sadly, this didn't come off, as she had to work late at work and wouldn't make it to the museum on time.  In many ways, this was OK with me, as I really didn't want to go outside in the cold.  It's already November, and the cold has seeped into my apartment, and I was thinking of wearing trousers for my weekly stint at the LGBT Center.

When I was young, I never noticed the cold (or, so I remember it.)  I could go outside for hours, do things like deliver newspapers, and still enjoy the weather outside.  Now, that I've reached my 60's, I've gotten used to the idea of taking winter vacations where it's warm.  And this means winter cruises to the Caribbean, through the Panama Canal, and to Hawaii.

Last night, I chatted with HWV about my cruises, and she mentioned something that saddened me.  The homeless population in San Francisco has grown to a point where she considers it dangerous.  She noted that in the past few years, that they are accosting people in front of the Four Season's hotel - people no longer feel safe there.  Whether this is true or not, I can find out.  I dated a woman in Nyack who now lives in the San Francisco Bay area.  The next time I have a chance, I will chat with her and find out whether what HWV said is true or not.  This information may be what decides whether I take a Hawaii cruise out of San Francisco or out of Los Angeles.

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I ended up going to the LGBT Center a little later than usual to do my volunteer stint, and only spent an hour there.  Today's tasks were to update their calendars, send out meetup information, and update their blog to reflect the need to get volunteers for their upcoming Trans Forum.  Once I was done there, I figured that I'd check in with Pat - and she said to drop over with some Chinese, as she'd supply the wine.

At Pat's, we got into our usual discussion - she's an idealist who believes that all we need to fix the world is to have everyone change their attitudes, and if by magic, all would be right with the world.  I'm a realist - I'll always ask "what's in it for me?" even if I plan to make a sacrifice for others.  To me, incremental progress is better than no progress at all.  And Pat's inability to focus on one problem at a time is what's caused her to become a victim of life.  Yes, we have a system which could be much better.  Racism does permeate our society, benefiting some people in power at the expense of others.  Capitalism has its flaws, but it doesn't explain all of mankind's ills.  If anything, basic human nature is the problem, and not much is going to change it.  Instead, all we can do is harness that nature, and develop social and economic systems which account for human failings.

Today, I got smart - I set a time limit to hang out with Pat.  It's hard to have an intelligent discussion with someone who has swallowed the Kool-Aid of either Left or Right.  And I was starting to tire myself out after 90 minutes.  So I was very glad when 9 pm came around, giving me a chance to leave.

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On the way home, I stopped by Stew Leonard's.  It's nice to be there after the crowds are gone.  However, they are returning certain foodstuffs to refrigerators, shutting down the fish monger and butcher sections (prepacked meats and fish still remained available), and cleaning up the place during the last business hour of the day.  So it didn't pay to dawdle. I  just grabbed my stuff and went home.