Taking care of business (part 3)

 

A week ago, electricians came to the apartment to remediate issues caused by the aluminum wiring in my apartment complex.  Not dealing with this issue would increase the possibility of a fire, and our insurance would not cover us until this work is complete.  Today was the second visit from the electricians .  However, this visit was to deal with outlets behind my bed and dressers that couldn't be reached on their first visit.  To get to these outlets, I had to dump lots of stuff into bins and boxes to get it out of the way (to be sorted out later), so that the furniture could be moved to access the outlets.

In the process of moving furniture, I found a lot of stuff that had fallen behind the dressers and bed that was too hard to get at in normal circumstances.  Once things are back to normal, I will sort through everything I put into bins and boxes to determine what stuff to keep and what stuff to trash.  This is something that everyone should do every few years, and it's been almost 30 years since I've done this because furniture movement is a daunting task for me these days.

- - - - - -

The electricians were supposed to be here at 9:00 am.  By 9:30, I was getting concerned that something was screwed up, as I had no notice of any problem.  So I did two things in parallel: Write an email to the co-op's managing agent to notify them of the problem, and to call them immediately afterward.  Obviously, I got someone's attention, as within 15 minutes, I found out that the electricians would be here within a few minutes.

When the electricians arrived, they were apologetic - they had come off of an emergency call (the electric had gone out in half of a person's house in White Plains), and couldn't make it back to me on time.  They were also surprised to find out that I hadn't been notified of the problem, as I would have been less anxious and annoyed at having to wait longer than expected.  Within 30 minutes, they had finished work on all 3 of my remaining outlets, furniture was back in place, and I was able to relax and take a nap.

- - - - - -

What I haven't mentioned about today was that I didn't get much sleep the night before.  So, when TCL called to tell me that she wasn't feeling well and couldn't do lunch today, I was a bit happy that this happened.  We can schedule lunch for when I'm more rested and awake....

I didn't know what to say today ...until.

 

As many of my readers know, I like to shop for clothes from Universal Standard.  Many of their styles do not work for me.  But when they do, I jump on them when I have the funds to do so.  Last night, I received an email advertising their upcoming sample sale - and made it a point to go.

Later in the evening, I called RQS (as I normally do at day's end) and mentioned the sale.  It looks like I'll be traveling down to NYC to meet her and do some shopping.  Whether or not I end up buying anything isn't that important.  Instead, it is the chance to go shopping and examine the styles in-person, to see if they work for me or not.

- - - - - -

I'm lucky to be able to share this activity with RQS.  She is a doll.  I never could have done this with XGFJ.  But then, it's been almost 4 years since XGFJ and I broke up, and I'll bet that I'm just a shadow of a memory to her these days.  Then, there is FCP.  I think of her now and then, but the loss of that friendship has lost its sting.

Lovers and friendships may come and go.  But memories can be forever.  Lately, I've been eliminating excess stuff from my apartment, and some of the things I've been pruning are related to my late wife. The other day, I wondered whether I should toss out a music box that came to my apartment when my wife moved in, and remained long after she died.  Do I want 12 place settings and some 100+ y/o etched glassware?  It's hard to decide what to keep and how to eliminate some of the stuff that may have real value.

So, it may have been a blessing that I've been forced to clean up my place, in order for the electricians have access to my electric outlets.  I can get stuff out of the way, and then get rid of the excess as I have the chance to sort through the boxes.

Preparing to finish up the electrical work

 

This is how I'd like to stay on a Monday morning - comfortable in my bed, catching a couple more hours of sleep after the sun has come up.  But this will not be the case, as I will have to wake up and get dressed as Mario, and then move furniture around while the electricians finish up their work in this apartment.

The first go-round with the electricians wasn't as bad as I thought.  Yes, I moved a lot of furniture and sweated because they didn't turn on the AC when they could have.  But, it was over in less than two hours. And I see a way, that with a small amount of effort on my part, that they could be out of my place in less than an hour.  That will leave me the time to meet with TCL for a long delayed lunch, and maybe have time in the evening to do something else.

There has been a benefit to all of this work.  I've been forced to clean up my place enough to get access to all of my electrical outlets.  Next, I will need to get things clean enough to have visitors (other than girlfriends) come to this apartment for the first time in years.

- - - - - -

 

Now that I can see this apartment's progress towards being a welcoming place to have guests, it is time for me to look at buying a new sofa.  I have the sofa picked out, and I'm waiting for the expected Labor Day sale.  After trying out this sofa on 3 visits to the furniture store, I will be in Mario mode when I eventually purchase it.  

Once I've purchased the sofa, I'm looking at buying a new coffee table.  Gradually, I want to make my living room a place where I can be proud to have my friends visit if invited.  Yet, there's a part of me that would rather get together outside of the house, as I'm so used to NOT having people over here.

- - - - - -

After 40 years in one place, one accumulates a lot of unused stuff.  The Swedes have a word for what I'm doing: Döstädning, which means "death cleaning."  It is not a morbid concept.  Instead, it is a way of justifying the removal of clutter from a person's abode, so that the person can live a more happy life. I also like the Danish concept of Hygge, Pronounced "hoo-ga," this Danish concept cannot be translated to one single word but encompasses a feeling of cozy contentment and well-being through enjoying the simple things in life.  Recently, I have learned that the Swedes have a word for something I've striven for. Lagom is a Swedish word that roughly translates to "just the right amount" in English. Pronounced 'lar-gohm,' this term is more about frugality and striking a balance in your daily life between work and relaxation.

Throughout my 40-year career in technology, I found that I was living a life out of balance, a life that was not cozy, and a life that isolated me from others.  Now that I'm retired, I've found that I want something more out of the rest of my life - a connection to others, a feeling of comfort when at home, and being comfortable in my own skin.  In short, I want just the right amount of the things I enjoy in life, so that the rest of my life will be more enjoyable than the years before.

I tell people that it's not who has the most things when s/he dies wins.  Instead, it is who has the most rewarding experiences when s/he dies wins.  One can't take things into the afterlife (unless one is an Egyptian Pharaoh.)  But one can enjoy life to the fullest.  And if there is something afterward, those experiences will be what makes us rich.

Less is More

Lately, I've been driven to gradually eliminate clutter from my apartment to make room for the electricians to work on my electrical outlets and switches.   As a result, there is a great improvement on how the apartment looks, and a higher likelihood that I will again have a cleaning lady make regular visits to the apartment.

Looking at the above two pictures, you can easily see an improvement in the appearance of the area around my loveseat. Still, the work is far from done.  I now need to clean up more clutter in my bedroom, and then make room in my downstairs storage compartment to hold stuff that I use on a regular basis.  I'd consider storing containers with out-of-season clothing in this compartment, along with large packages of consumables (i.e. Paper Towels, Toilet Paper, etc.) that need not be kept in the apartment proper.

- - - - - -

I liken this process to answering the question:

How do you eat an elephant?

The answer given is:

One bite at a time.

That's the philosophy that RQS and I have been taking with cleaning out our respective apartments.  Both of us are dealing with the emotional value of objects.  With RQS, it is furniture and glassware inherited from family members.  With me, it is furniture and glassware inherited from my late wife, as well as some items gifted to me years ago.

- - - - - -

This evening, I watched a YouTube video on how to tell if you have too much stuff.  I'd say that most people of my generation have had to deal with this problem.  This has been a problem of mine for years now, and I feel that I must attack it while I'm still healthy enough to do so.  In the past 12 months, I must have donated 8-10 large bags filled with unwanted items and clothes and delivered them to a nearby donation center.  I have also given away 6+ boxes of unwanted books to a local library's thrift shop.  And I'm not done yet.

Part of decluttering is to provide temporary organization to the things one wants to keep, so that space can be made to hold things that are to be given away or trashed.  Once enough space is available, one removes the scaffolding of the temporary organization, and repeats the process until enough clutter has been eliminated to make a home feel comfortable again.  In my case, I have also taken on a philosophy that old things that are needed, but no longer are comfortable or reliable (i.e. worn out sofas and mattresses, and TVs that no longer work properly) should be replaced as needed to create a more comfortable living space. This means that I will be improving what's left in my home.

- - - - - -

Hopefully, in a few months or so, I will have a place that I will feel comfortable having guests in again. Until then, it will be a process of pruning what I own to a level where I consider the apartment a home, and not just a cramped nest....

The Electricians were here today....

 

It was 11:30, and the electricians left the apartment, with an appointment to come again next Monday for the next round of headaches.  But things didn't go as bad as expected, as moving a couple of things resulted in a better apartment.

But first....

RQS and I usually get up around 10:30 when she's here.  Today, both of us were up around 7:30, so that we could be showered and dressed by 9:00 am.  The electricians were waiting outside at 9:00 am sharp, and had turned off all the power in the apartment by 9:05 - not giving RQS a chance to get acclimated to anything.  (She made the minor mistake of opening the refrigerator door once to get milk for her coffee, and this was the only time I got slightly upset - no power meant no refrigeration, and I didn't want the contents of the refrigerator to get warm.)  By 9:15, I was moving both boxes and furniture, so that the electricians could rewire the outlets and switches.

What was being done, you may be asking - and why?

When these apartments were built, virtually all the interior wiring was aluminum based.  Over the years, it was shown that aluminum wiring could cause a fire, and that special connectors had to be used, so that the wiring in our buildings wouldn't be a fire hazard.  Although it is a low risk, our bank required that we do this work in order to get our mortgage refinanced.  This is for good reason.  A fire in a building adjacent to our complex may have been caused by wiring issues. So we chose this month to deal with this issue.

I knew that this would be a headache for many of us, and I made sure that people knew that many of the seniors living here may need help moving things out of the way.  (I did, and I still have most of my body mass and muscle strength.)  So, when the electricians started work on the refrigerator and stove circuits, both appliances had to be moved out of the way.  (The area behind the refrigerator is quite grungy, and I'll hate it if I ever need to clean the linoleum back there.)  Once done, the refrigerator was pushed back into place, and voila!, the refrigerator was now level.  I no longer have to play games to take care of this.  Instead, I now have to figure out why the door won't close completely.  (But that's another story for another day.)  

Midway through the work, the owner of the electrical company came by, and I made sure to compliment the two fellows who worked on the place.  However, the boss wondered why these fellows didn't turn on the AC once the breaker box was serviced, only leaving circuits meant to be dead as dead.  (I wondered why as well, as it was as warm in here as in the NYC subway today.)  Within 90 minutes, at least 10 outlets and 6 light switches were rewired.  Only 3 outlets are left, and they will be done on 2 different days.

Once the 2 guys left, it was time to relax before taking RQS to the train station.  Although I still had a lot to do at the end of the day, I no longer worry about how disruptive this work would prove to be....

Last minute preparations for the Electricians

 

My apartment, from what few pictures I've provided, is an obvious cluttered mess.  Although RQS and I have been working on getting this mess cleared out, there is still too much clutter in the way of my electrical outlets to do all the work on them at once.  This means that I will have people invading my space for several days to come.  AARGH!

It could be worse.  I have the resources to move furniture out of the way, as if I were playing a game of Jenga™.  But I will only be able to move furniture away from one wall per day (at best).  There is way too much heavy stuff (e.g.: 75 y/o file cabinets, beds, dressers) in the way of each wall outlet to get everything done in one fell swoop.

So, I expect to stay in Mario mode until this work is done. YECCH!  At least, RQS will be with me most of the first day of work.  And I will miss her when I drop her off at the station this afternoon.

I didn't really want to go to game night, but I made myself do so.

 

My mind has been on overload lately.  First, it was the tile wall in the bathroom failing. Next, it was scheduling repair work on the wall to begin over the weekend.  And then, it was being told that the electricians will start their work replacing electrical outlets next week.  So, in addition to my regularly scheduled social appointments both as Marian and as Mario, I have to appear as Mario when the handyman is here on the weekend, and when the electrician is working in my apartment.  AARGH!!!  (At least, I can get in some Marian time when I go to my dentist.)

- - - - - -

Since I wanted to leave tomorrow open for last minute tasks, I spent today working slowly on cutting down on the clutter in the apartment, and then doing some laundry.  By the time I was done, I was not really in the mood to go to play games.  But, given that it'd be another 4 weeks before I'd get the chance to be with this group again, I forced myself to get showered and dressed, then out the door as Marian.

As usual, I got to Yonkers a bit late and missed the first game.  Then I got involved in the second game of the night, and did tolerably well until the very end of the game.  Yet, I had fun.  Sadly, there was some bad news.  The host/hostess' new dog (a 5 y/o rescue) bit one of the guests and had to be kept away from the group.  I'll bet that this dog may have been abused once and has yet to unlearn coping behavior, as none of the rescue dogs my dad adopted (including one that was abused) ever drew blood after living with my dad.  (Yes, this may be flawed reasoning, but it reflects my feelings on the matter.)

I would have liked to have participated in more conversation and less game playing tonight.  But I can't always get what I want.  At least, RQS and I had a nice chat on my way home, and we set our game plan for the weekend....

Now to clean up the mess in my apartment

 

I only wish my dining room table was still this "uncluttered".  Right now, the whole apartment (including the table) is filled with clutter.  But how did it happen? And, how can I eliminate the clutter?

- - - - - -

Before Covid, the clutter in my apartment was being kept to a manageable level.  The bi-weekly (then monthly) visit by my cleaning lady gave me the incentive to keep this place neat enough for her to come in on a regular basis.  However, the pandemic got in the way of everything, and I no longer bothered trying to keep the place "neat".  (With what was going on in my life then, as mentioned in my former blog, I was too depressed to bother keeping the place neat.)  Now that I am feeling much better about life, and have a solid relationship with a new girlfriend, it's still hard to get this place in order.  I no longer have the energy to do much of anything without some assistance.

Over the past year or so, I have been donating bags of clothes I no longer wear to charity.  God knows how many bags I've already donated.  But now, things have slowed down a bit.  Yet, I have much more to get rid of, and RQS will help me prune things some more.  I'm a bit embarrassed to have people come into this place, and I will have to make room for an electrician to work on every outlet.  We have aluminum wiring on our 15a circuits, and they need to make sure that the proper connectors are being used, so that we don't have an electrical fire.  I'm going to be quite busy soon!

With all the effort I'm likely to make, I expect one important thing to come of all of this - a less cluttered apartment.  Let's hope that I can keep it that way.