I did nothing I needed to do, save for going to the dentist

 

Although I used to go to the dentist as Mario, I now usually appear at the dentist's office as Marian. I don't remember how this started, but I'm glad I could do so. I only wish I could do so with more people in my life. But, sadly, this is not yet possible.

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This morning, I woke up after not getting enough sleep.  I thought I'd be tired throughout the day, but I was wrong.  Around 1 pm, I got showered, dressed, and made up to go out for the day - just in time to make it to my 2 pm appointment at the dentist's office for my 3x yearly teeth cleaning.  after a little chit chat, I was out the door by 2:45, and off to get something to eat.

My next stop was in Peekskill, where I stopped for pizza.  After that, it was off to the supermarket to pick up tonight's dinner, and some ribs RQS and I could eat tomorrow night.  Once I got home, I put my goodies in the ice box, then rested.  Did I do laundry?  No.  Did I pack for my upcoming trip?  No.  As I said in the title of this entry, I did nothing except for going to the dentist - and I feel good about this.

Filling a tooth and emptying a wallet.

 

$520 later, and I have a good tooth.  (I hear my wallet sobbing loudly, "Why did you do this to me?")

- - - - - -

When I last visited the dentist, he found a cavity in a tooth which had once been filled by a prior dentist. I knew that this was going to be a "big" (not too big) bill, as I was expecting to pay somewhere between $400 & $800 for the privilege of having my tooth repaired.  So, I scheduled today's appointment on the first available day I could get the repair done before my next cruise.

Unfortunately, I didn't sleep well last night, and was tired when I finally got showered and dressed.  Since the dentist sees me more in Marian mode than as Mario, I took the extra time to get ready to present myself as Marian.  So, I found a nice summery dress, and made the short drive to my dentist's office.

Arriving promptly at 1:00 pm, it took a while before I was led to the room where my procedure was to be done.  By the time he got down to business around 1:30 pm, I was on my 3rd dose of local anesthesia when he started to drill.  Even then, I needed another shot to keep me from feeling any pain.  At 2:30 pm, my tooth was filled, and my wallet emptied.

At least, my mouth was finally back to normal by 5:00 pm....

Miracles of modern dentistry?

Long gone are the days where going to the dentist would be this uncomfortable.  Unlike getting a leg amputated in the Civil War, one couldn't bite a bullet to deal with the pain of a tooth extraction.  Years later, they perfected filling technology and local anesthesia, making a visit to the much less painful (except, maybe, in the wallet).  And now, the balance between bodily pain and financial pain is in favor of financial pain, as fewer people fear going to the dentist today than in the past.

Today was my visit to the dentist.  In addition to a scheduled teeth cleaning, I got an updated set of x-rays and a dental exam.  $500 later, I was out of the office with another appointment scheduled in 2 weeks for a small filling.  AARGH!   At least I have the money in the bank to afford it.  But this is only one of the money sucks that I'll deal with this month.

Sometime later in the year, I may decide to take another (small) distribution from my 401k, this time to finance a dental implant that I've done without for over 10 years.  If I had stayed employed with the bank, I'd have done this already.  After 10 years, the dentist will have to start from scratch, including a CAT Scan of my jaw to see if I have enough bone mass for the implant..  And this will cost even more money,  Not having the tooth in this place has affected how I chew on food.  So this may finally be the time I deal with the problem once and for all....

Look Ma, No Cavities!

Although I don't have too much to talk about today, I must mention my visit to the dentist.  Scheduling teeth cleanings 3x/year continues to work for me, and I try to maintain this frequency as best as possible.  This visit was a month overdue, but wasn't as bad as expected.  

- - - - - -

Unlike my Internist, I visit my Dentist in female presentation.  God knows what my dentist and dental hygienist think of me, but I am always treated with respect when I go there.  Today was no different than usual.  However, there was one thing of note that I found mildly interesting....

Both times I had the opportunity to sit in the reception area, I encountered a lady waiting for her husband's dental work to be completed.  She complimented me on my dress, but I was unable to return a compliment for anything about her.  (She looked like life had beaten her up, and she came out the worse for wear.)  When she started talking about her life, she disclosed that her first husband was a drug addict, a convicted thief, and a wife beater.  And there was more that I can't recall.  Needless to say, she did the right thing in leaving this man, as she may not have lived to tell me the tale.  Add to this, she had spent some time in government custody - but only for a couple of misdemeanors.  Luckily for her, she met her current husband 14 years ago, and he finally made her "an honest woman" two weeks ago.

- - - - - -

Once done with the dentist, I took care of a couple things around the house, then took a nap.  Shortly after 6 pm, I got ready for game night and proceeded to Dunkin Donuts for some Munchkins as my contribution to the "party".  Unfortunately, somewhere between the Donut shop and my car, I lost one of the earrings that I was given by the host & hostess of game night, and that saddened me a bit.

Game night itself was inconsequential, with me losing both of the games I played.  Such is life.  I'm just glad I don't have to count on my game playing skills to make a living....

I didn't really want to go to game night, but I made myself do so.

 

My mind has been on overload lately.  First, it was the tile wall in the bathroom failing. Next, it was scheduling repair work on the wall to begin over the weekend.  And then, it was being told that the electricians will start their work replacing electrical outlets next week.  So, in addition to my regularly scheduled social appointments both as Marian and as Mario, I have to appear as Mario when the handyman is here on the weekend, and when the electrician is working in my apartment.  AARGH!!!  (At least, I can get in some Marian time when I go to my dentist.)

- - - - - -

Since I wanted to leave tomorrow open for last minute tasks, I spent today working slowly on cutting down on the clutter in the apartment, and then doing some laundry.  By the time I was done, I was not really in the mood to go to play games.  But, given that it'd be another 4 weeks before I'd get the chance to be with this group again, I forced myself to get showered and dressed, then out the door as Marian.

As usual, I got to Yonkers a bit late and missed the first game.  Then I got involved in the second game of the night, and did tolerably well until the very end of the game.  Yet, I had fun.  Sadly, there was some bad news.  The host/hostess' new dog (a 5 y/o rescue) bit one of the guests and had to be kept away from the group.  I'll bet that this dog may have been abused once and has yet to unlearn coping behavior, as none of the rescue dogs my dad adopted (including one that was abused) ever drew blood after living with my dad.  (Yes, this may be flawed reasoning, but it reflects my feelings on the matter.)

I would have liked to have participated in more conversation and less game playing tonight.  But I can't always get what I want.  At least, RQS and I had a nice chat on my way home, and we set our game plan for the weekend....

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, I will have both gone to a doctor to see about my persistent cough and have gone on my California cruise with RQS.  And I'll have much to report when I get back.

I'm not one who is comfortable going to new doctors, dealing with new procedures, etc. when it comes to my health.  So, it took a badly abscessed tooth to get me going to a dentist on a regular basis.  It took me almost getting pneumonia to start seeing my internist on a regular basis.  It took a former girlfriend to get me to see a sleep doctor. And it took a former friend to get me to see a dermatologist (who I should see again soon). As you can guess, I am nervous about going to the Doc in a Box today, and may write another post about it later on.

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Tomorrow, we'll be flying to LA for our cruise.  On our one full free day in LA, we intend to see my uncle, and then do a little of the tourist thing.  Unfortunately, many of the attractions will close at 5 pm, not giving us enough time to do more than one museum or attraction.  But then, I never loved LA.  Its sprawl befits the description, "LA is a suburb in search of a city." I prefer to be in a traditional city.

Afterward, we will go on our cruise and stop in San Francisco for a couple of days. In a way, this trip is our way of connecting with family on the West Coast. First, we'll visit the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes. RQS won't mind that, as I was with her when she scattered her husband's ashes. (Of course, we'll spend the better part of the two days in San Francisco doing the typical tourist thing.) Then we will sail off to San Diego, where we'll meet up with RQS's cousin for the day. And all too soon, we'll be home.

It's been hard to identify why I am ambivalent about taking this trip.  And now I think I've figured it out.  It will likely be the last time I see my uncle while he's alive.  It may be the last time I visit San Francisco and go where I scattered my late wife's ashes.  It may be the last chance that RQS gets to meet her older cousin.  In short, it's a trip with a set of "Lasts" that is giving me a sense of sadness before it begins.

- - - - - -   

A while back, FCP criticized me, saying that I had nothing going on in my life. (I take this slightly out of context, as I don't want to rehash old wounds.)  I think she'd now say that I have a life of my own. It's far from perfect, but it's my life and I'm living it.

RQS makes me glad that she's in my life.  Unlike Ex-GF-M, RQS is willing to try new things when with me.  She is willing to get a little lost along the way, and explore what serendipity brings to us.  Unlike XGFJ, she's willing to force the issue and make me tell her how I feel.  And unlike my relationship with Patty, our relationship is built on solid ground - we both feel secure.  It's a shame that it took me almost 25 years to find a relationship that really works for me. But as they say, "you've got to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince(ss)."  

Accomplishing much and nothing at the same time.

 

If I could find the original negative for the above picture, I'd develop a larger photo from it and frame thhe picture.  This is how I remember the lighthouse at Peggy's Cove, and it's how I'd like to see it when I visit again.

Why do I mention this?

RQS and I have been talking about going on a cruise to New England and Canada's Maritime Provinces.  Halifax, NS will be one of our stops on the cruise, and I will insist on visiting Peggy's Cove while we are in port.  However, until I decide to leave my job, I can't tell RQS that it's time to book the cruise.

- - - - - -

Today, I was trying to stay awake during my shift at the office. While there, someone had moved a non functioning refrigerator into the center of the break room, so that a replacement unit could be slid into the spot occupied by the old unit.  Now, we will have enough room to cold store our lunches, instead of trying to cram them all into a small refrigerator that didn't have enough room for all of us.

After work, it was off to the dentist's office for a tooth cleaning.  This was the least expensive visit I have had for a while.  Afterwards, I ended up going home to do laundry.  What an exciting evening!  Not much was done today, and yet, I got some needed things done....

A short post.... A new dress.

 

I've been looking for a dress in this shade of blue for a while.  Recently, I found it at Target - with one problem.  I'd have to find it in the clearance bin at one of two New Jersey stores.  AARGH!  So I decided to drive across the river after work, and hopefully find this dress in the clearance bins.

But first....

Last night, I wasn't able to fall asleep until around 3 am.  This is terrible when one has to get up for work at 6 am.  So I wasn't sure if I could drive to the Hackensack Target after a periodic teeth cleaning at my dentist's office this evening.  I was very surprised to find out that my appointment was scheduled for tomorrow.  Since I didn't have anything else on my docket, I decided to go to Hackensack.

The major roads on the other side of the river were fouled up, so I took the side roads to Hackensack. Target is hidden from the main road, so I over shot the place and got lost in a city that closes up shop at 5 pm.  Thankfully, my GPS got me to the store, where I could only find the Size 3X version of the dress.  I figured that I might as well try the dress on And, amazingly - it fit!  So into my shopping cart it went, and I became the proud owner of a dress I may wear when in Hawaii later this year....

 

PS: I ordered and received the black version of the same dress.  Dressed up a little, with the right jewelry, and I can wear it on a formal night onboard a ship....

In and out within 60 minutes.

 

DENTIST

-n.

A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

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The above definition comes from Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary."  Unlike most people, I am comfortable investing in my teeth.  My mouth may be the one area of my body that is in very good shape.  But then, I pay enough for the privilege of having good teeth. 

Two months ago, I made an appointment to have a failing filling replaced.  Lately, I've been going to the dentist as Marian, and have never had any problems with it.  Today, I was so comfortable, that after the filling was replaced, that I slipped out of Marian's voice and used Mario's voice.  Luckily, I feel comfortable with this dentist in both modes, and will go to my appointments in the way I'm dressed for the day.

Since I knew that it would run me $500 to get the work done on my tooth, I figured that I'd use a new credit card and qualify for a rebate.  Now that I've broken the $500 floor of charges made in 3 months, I should get a $200 credit sent to me sometime in the future.  Although I took a 2 point to my credit score, I don't expect that this will affect me that much.

Right now, I'm expecting a temporary cash flow shortfall.  No, I can pay all of my debts with money from any one of my bank accounts with some to spare.  Instead, I've simply needed to use plastic to take advantage of some very good deals which will benefit me in the long term.

 

Visiting the dentist - not much to say for today.

 

I don't have much to report today, save that I went to the dentist.  Normally, this would be a non event, but it is the second time I went there as Marian, and I was made to feel totally comfortable by the receptionist (who I've gone with to have a Mani-Pedi several weeks ago).  Yes, I feared making the dental hygienist feel uncomfortable by going in presenting as a female, but she didn't give much of a hoot. (Or, at least, it didn't show on her face.)    

I'm glad that I went there as Marian - I was able to avoid having to change into Mario mode for the dentist, and then change back into Marian for my Tuesday night meetup.  (I wonder if my timing will be OK for tomorrow's zoom meeting with my ex-boss as Mario, followed by an online game night as Marian.)

I went to the dentist today, and he was surprised!

Normally, I would have done a "Half and Half" day when going to the dentist.  I had scheduled a weekday visit to the dentist (which usually involves me presenting as a male), followed by work (which usually involves me presenting as a female). However, in a chat with the dentist's receptionist, I outed myself to her, and she said that I should come in as a female one day - so I did!  And it was fun. More importantly, it was convenient!

Now that I am out to him, I don't have to do any more half and half days when going to the dentist - this will save me at least an hour's worth of time each time I get my teeth worked on.  And it is one more step in my path to femininity.  But is it worth it?

- - - - - -

A while back, XGFJ said that she feared me being on this path.  The reality is that she probably was never comfortable with me, but sent mixed signals throughout our relationship.  If she had bothered to express her feelings properly and negotiate, I would have set limits to how far down this path I'd have gone.  Now, I have decided to attend meetings of every meetup group that she doesn't want for me to attend - only because I need to show her that she has no right to demand I not attend these groups, her feelings be damned.  But I will attend only those gatherings that I'd want to attend because they do something for me other than rub her the wrong way.

I don't know if I'll ever get into "her" dinner group.  They like to pick known regulars over newcomers.  So it will mean that I have to keep trying for a while and hope for the best.  However, if there is a meeting open to newcomers, I'll try for it.

- - - - - -

I won't go into any details about work - that would violate my oath. But we're being kept busy trying to clean up the mess brought upon us by the pandemic.  In the past, I'd feel comfortable giving a census job to anyone who applied for one.  Now, if the person is immuno-compromised, or in one of the known risk groups, I'll look out for the health of the applicant over the needs of the census bureau.  At least, we are moving forward, having places to do our training. Hopefully, we will have a reasonably accurate head count, as required by law....

It always seems as if I'm getting interrupted during my favorite TV show.

I can't help but wish I could trigger the tune "Park Avenue Beat" to play on the speaker when this entry gets opened.  It would only be fitting given the picture above.

- - - - - -

Today, I was fully awake when my favorite morning TV show came on.  And about 40 minutes into the show, I received a call that I didn't answer.  Seems like my cleaning lady wants to come 2 weeks early, as her next visit would coincide with Thanksgiving.  AARGH!  I have yet to pick up the cleaning supplies she requested on her last visit.  Luckily, I have a change of bed linens ready for her to put on the bed.

Around noon, I ended up going to the dentist, and I got some bad news.  A tooth that my former dentist was monitoring was about to fail, so my wallet will be $2500 lighter sometime next month.  OUCH!   At least I can plan for this expense, as well as another tooth that is likely to fail next year. Once done with the dentist, I went to a local pizzeria to get some lunch before going home to change into a female presentation for tonight's dinner. 

After I had changed, I performed a couple of errands before driving up to Fishkill for dinner. And at 5:45, I was on my way.  GFJ had called me while I was getting ready to leave, so I called her back.  She was on her way to her dining meetup - at the Culinary Institute of America, while I was on my way to the Dutchess Biercafe.  What was most unusual about our chat had nothing to do with its content.  Instead, we were able to keep talking, even though I drove through an area that I usually lose phone service along Route 9.  (T-Mobile has many more dead spots than Verizon, and I am still thinking of changing carriers almost a year after I started on their network.)  Both of us reached our destinations at the same time, so we agreed to call each other back after dinner.

Our meetup group had the whole of one room to ourselves.  It was very noisy, but it was fun.  WDJ sat at the table behind me, and we didn't get the chance to talk much.  Luckily, there were other ladies at my table with whom I enjoyed some nice chats.  Although the Biercafe had a restaurant week menu, I chose to order a dinner sized appetizer off the main menu - "The Best of the Wurst".  (I love German style sausages!)  And this was more than enough food for me.

On the way home, I stopped at Walmart to pick up cleaning supplies for my cleaning lady to use.  Since she will be coming tomorrow afternoon, I figured that I needed to pick up these supplies tonight.  Once out of Walmart, it was time for another phone call to GFJ.  She had still not prepared for her trip.  Hopefully, she'll do a load of wash, then dry it tonight, as she'll be very busy in the morning before she gets on the road....