I'm starting to pack for my upcoming cruise

 

I miss being able to cruise as Marian.  The Orange Snowflake is out to erase transgenders from the earth, claiming "it is all in our heads."  One problem - it is easier to change the body than to rewire the brain.  And even if it could be done, should it be done?  When the person who holds the presidency has no morality, no sense of justice, and no respect for others, then how can anyone cis or trans feel safe?

Safety for us trans people is important.  For those like me, we can go stealth and not worry much - but we still have our worries.  When presenting as a male, my whiteness helps keep me safe from the ICE raids going on in neighboring towns.  So, if I have to make contact with anyone from the Federal Government, I've decided to do so as a white male and assert my "privilege". This is not real safety.  I've been hassled by a TSA Officer before flying to London, simply because he had a bug up his ass.  Could you imagine what he'd have been like if I were presenting as a female for an international flight?

I remind people that Cisgender people are not safe.  The husband of one of my friends is an immigrant from the Philippines. He is not white, but he is a male US Citizen who has communications issues.  He lives in a town which has suffered ICE raids, and my friend (his wife) fears what could happen if he goes out during one of these raids. He could not advocate effectively for himself.  Given that we have deported US citizens caught in one of these ICE roundups, do you think he'd be safe.

RQS is a fair skinned black, somewhere in the mocha shade of skin tone.  She'd likely be tolerably safe, as she has an "American" accent. And that relative safety would likely extend to many "American Blacks" who speak with an "American" accent familiar to many ICE agents.  But that doesn't extend to their initial treatment by these "authorities", as there has been a different standard of justice for whites and blacks in America. I must note that Asian Americans may have similar treatment to American Blacks, but would be subject to similar risk factors.  Yet, even if I were a second or third generation Chinese American, would I feel safe if ICE was raiding a Chinatown neighborhood as they recently did in New York City?

The promise of the Orange Snowflake was to round up the criminals who were in the US illegally and deport them first.  Instead, he is aiming for quantity over quality, scooping up law abiding people (here legally or illegally) to make artificial quotas.  So, a wise gender nonconforming person can not feel safe in a society where every touch point with the Federal Government puts her/him at risk.

So, I've started my packing, and I'm disappointed that I won't be able to wear my summer dresses again. But, I still wouldn't do so on this cruise, as many of the islands in the Caribbean have similar backwards attitudes as our president.  I'll still be relatively comfortable and safe, but I won't be as happy as if I could present as my true self. 

 

 

 

 

 

Alaska Cruise 2025 - Disembarkation Day / Flying Home (08/22/25)

I first thought it was going to be a relatively short post for me, as I'm finally home and getting used to being back in my own apartment.  Yeah, Right!   This was a great cruise, but we didn't see the wildlife that most of us expect from an Alaskan cruise.  Given a choice between this cruise and another cruise through the Norwegian Fjords, the fjords would win out.  But that's something I can write about later on. 

- - - - - -

I didn't get much sleep the night before disembarkation.  RQS asked me when we'd be going under the Golden Gate bridge, and I said that we wouldn't see it when it happened due to San Francisco's fog.  And I was right.  The fog didn't start lifting until we were ready to get off the ship.

Around 7 am, we left our cabin for the last time and went downstairs for breakfast.  We had 1¼ hours to kill before we could get off the ship, so we had one last breakfast in the main dining room.  Soon, our number was called, and we proceeded to the gangway to get off the ship for one last time.  Once in the terminal, quite a few cruise rookies got in the way of us retrieving our bags and exiting the terminal.  Yet, we were off the ship and out of the terminal in less than 45 minutes, and on our way to the airport by 9:30.

- - - - - -

Once at the airport, we had to get our bags checked and boarding passes issued at JetBlue's service desk.  Although we had seat assignments made the day before (many thanks to our TA on his vacation!), we still needed new seat assignments because the cane I was using couldn't fold up.  (We were booked into an emergency exit row, and the service agent knew we'd have a problem if they saw our canes.)  So, he reassigned us to seats 5 rows in back of where we were first seated and 5 rows in front of the seats we originally expected to sit in.  This man was extremely helpful, unlike the "Karen" protecting the service agent lanes at JFK - this gives us something more to write about when we send in our complaint letters to JetBlue's corporate offices.

We then went through TSA security with only one minor hitch - even though I have a trusted traveler number, my belt had to come off due to its amount of metal.  AARGH!  I'll have to look for another belt just to go through airport security one day soon.  And then we were in the airport, waiting at the gate for 2 hours.  Luckily, we were in the first general boarding group, as people boarding behind us would have to gate check their bags.  (RQS gate checked her carry-on anyway, so that she could get on the plane with her remaining bags.)

Eventually, we got on the plane around 12:40, and it would be another 5½ hours before touch down at JFK.  We knew that we wouldn't have our bags until 10 pm, and I started to think: What places would be open for late night grub delivery in RQS's section of Queens by the time we got home?  That would be a question that could only be answered when our plane touched down and our luggage came off the carousel.  Hours later, we had our answer.  Our bags were off the carousel around 10 pm (even though the plane arrived at JFK 30 minutes early), and with a ½ mile walk from the terminal to the Airtrain coupled with another 30 minutes in an Uber, we wouldn't be home until after 11 pm.

Now we had a minor problem.  All of the late night joints in RQS's neighborhood were closed.  Luckily, DoorDash and McDonald's came to the rescue.  The clock said midnight in New York, but our bodies said it was 9 pm in San Francisco.  By the time we finished our burgers, we were ready to crash for the night, as we had no more energy to do anything.... 

 

 

 

 

It's off to Alaska!

 

By the time you read this, I should be home from my cruise.  We flew out to San Francisco from New York, then spent 3 days there until the cruise started.  I expected a different experience than when I took my first cruise to Alaska on this line almost 30 years ago.  Then, I was still filled with grief, having lost my wife the year before.  Now, I'm with a partner with whom I expect to spend the rest of my days.

Over the next few days, I plan to journal my daily activities.  Unfortunately, I could not take this trip as Marian for several reasons, the most important of which is that my feminine wardrobe is not geared for Alaska's climate. And now, with the Orange Snowflake in power, I would not feel safe going through any TSA/CBP checkpoints as Marian.  We now have a repressive political regime in power these days, and I don't want to be caught in its crosshairs while it's in power.

- - - - - -

Assuming one is interested in an Alaska cruise, one has several decisions to make when choosing a cruise itinerary, a cruise line, and a cruise ship.  Since I am very comfortable with Princess Cruises, it was topmost of the 3 lines allowed to sail into Glacier Bay:

• Princess
• Holland America
• Norwegian

Other cruise lines are allowed to cruise these areas for glacier viewing:

• Endicott Arm
• Hubbard Glacier
• Tracy Arm 

I had several port requirements:

• The cruise must make port in Ketchikan, Juneau, and Skagway.  
• The cruise must spend a full day in each Alaska port. 
• The cruise must make port as close to the Alaskan town as possible.
  (This ruled out Norwegian, which makes port at Ward Cove, 6 miles outside of Ketchikan.)

These requirements limited me to choosing a Princess cruise sailing out of San Francisco. Unlike my last Princess Alaskan Cruise package from this port, they did not have me stay at an airport hotel.  Instead, they booked me into the Mark Hopkins in the heart of San Francisco.  It's one of San Francisco's more well known places to stay with prices to match.  But then, this is a "Bucket List" type vacation and I feel that Princess now wants to make sure that people feel they are getting something special when they book their Alaskan cruise.

- - - - -

San Francisco will always be a special place for me.  My late wife always wanted to live there, but couldn't do so.  After visiting the place once, I wished I could live there.  But life made other plans for me.  It's just as well, as San Francisco lost much of its vibrancy with the Covid pandemic.  Businesses left town, and storefronts were shuttered.  It has yet to recover, and I doubt it will in my lifetime.

On my last visit to San Francisco with RQS, we visited the Japanese Tea Garden, the Musee Mechanique, and had a meal at the Swan Oyster Depot.  With 3 days in town, our choices have expanded, and I will document them in later posts.  Needless to say, we knew where to feast..... 

 

Norwegian Fjord Cruise Vacation - 06/13/24 (Flying into London before the cruise.)

 

As I've mentioned before, this would be my first trip overseas and I would experience a lot of unknowns. But first, I feel that I should mention that this trip is being taken as Mario for convenience, as I'm not sure of how foreign governments (especially the UK) will deal with a visitor presenting ID for one gender while presenting as the other.

- - - - - -

RQS and I had a 7:15 pm flight to London, and everything went smoothly with our luggage.  However, I did have a problem when going through the TSA scan process - the machine was producing a false positive in my groin area.  The agent wanted to go through his whole spiel that if I had any contraband that I could be subject to the law, while I simply wanted to give him permission to do what he needs to do.  Something that should have been quick and easy had me telling RQS to watch my bags while the fellow did his thing.  This could have escalated into something bad had not a cooler head prevailed.  But I digress.

We now had 2 1/2 hours to kill at the airport, and we had a hard time finding both something good to eat and somewhere we could sit down to eat our meal.  There were 100 people in line around the Mickey D's we passed, and we ended up walking halfway to another terminal where we could eat gyros and falafel.  This killed some time, and we walked back to the gate where we'd board our plane.  And this is where RQS's cane became a great advantage for us.

Last year, RQS's leg was injured by someone falling onto her leg on the debarkation day for our Bermuda cruise.  She occasionally carries that cane for support.  The cane often becomes an asset in airports, as she is considered handicapped and in need of assistance.  So, we were able to skip ahead of the line and get on the plane without hassles, with me having no problems finding cabin space for our carry-on luggage.  After 6 1/2 hours on the plane, the cane again became an asset, as we were escorted to the head of the customs and immigration lines and out of the controlled area of the airport before 8:00 am.

Neither of us knew where we were going, but we knew that someone from Princess Cruises would be waiting for us, so that we could be driven to our hotel.  Another couple joined us in the van that took us to the hotel, but I wish we could have driven off without them.  No, it's not because they were unpleasant.  Instead, it was because of how I ended up being seated - facing backwards.  It took 2 hours to reach the hotel, and in a warm car driving a long twisting streets it could have ended up being a disaster.  I was getting nauseous, and I was glad to get out of the van and into the air conditioned comfort of my hotel.

Sadly, we arrived around 10:00 am, and they couldn't tell us that rooms might be available earlier than the official check-in time of 3:00 pm.  So RQS and I retreated to some chairs in the lobby and rested for several hours until we could check in to the hotel.  Once in our rooms, we passed out until 6:00 pm.

- - - - - -

My niece had arranged to meet us for dinner, and we walked over to a nearby restaurant for Fish and Chips.  If there's one thing that the British can do well, it's Fish and Chips.  Yum!  We even had a chance to eat some Mushy Peas.  (They may not be my cup of tea, but they were pleasant enough that I finished the portion.)  All too soon, we had to go to the hotel.  We now knew where the Tower of London was, and we made plans to see it the next day.  If things worked out with my niece, she'd meet us afterward.  If not, we have ways to spend our time on our last day in this city.  (And yes, it's a city where one should spend an entire week there to do a visit justice and to have one wanting more.)

 

California Vacation - Day 10 (Disembarkation & Returning to New York)

 

Last night, I put my large suitcase out for delivery to the pier upon the ship's return to LA.  This morning, I woke up unnaturally early (4:30 am PDT) and couldn't justify going back to sleep.  So I decided to shower early, finish packing for my return trip home, and go to the buffet before the crowds arrived.  And this proved to be a wise move, as I was able to eat in peace AND return to my cabin to relax before Debarkation.

Disembarkation on the Discovery Princess is a reasonably well organized affair.  A night or two before the end of the cruise, room stewards supply cruisers with luggage tags to be used for Disembarkation. Different colored tags are associated with groups of travelers.  For example, I was given Cream tags, associated with people with paid airport transfers.  Others had Brown tags, associated with people who had scheduled bus tours with airport transfers afterward.  As expected by the cruise line, I left the assigned gathering spot (the Princess Theater) at 8:20 am, and made it off the ship by 8:30 am.

Once inside the LA cruise terminal, it's a long walk to retrieve one's bags.  I figure that I must have walked a mile from the time I started my walk from the Princess Theater to the place my large suitcase was placed in the terminal.  From there, it was a short, quick walk to US Customs, where they matched my face against the photo ID I provided before the cruise.  And then, it was another long walk to the bus for my airport transfer.  Along the way, a fellow stopped me to ask which airline I was flying on, and he made sure each of my two bags were tagged with the correct terminal number at the airport.  So, by the time I got on the bus, my bags were ready to be returned to me when I reached Delta's terminal.

When I got to the airport, I retrieved my bags and proceeded to check in my bag.  With a little help from an attendant, my bag made it to check-in, and I made it to the TSA security checkpoint.  And that's where the "Fun" occurred.  Although I presented the first person with my legal ID (male, with Mario's name), when I reached the scanners, someone pressed the female button - and my genital area was flagged for inspection.  So I ended up getting a pat down by the first officer available - a female.  She was totally professional, and I was on my way into the secure zone in less than 5 minutes.

My flight home was uneventful, save that I didn't hear which luggage carousel would be used for this flight's bags.  So I was very glad that I had Delta's app on my phone - and found that my bag would come out on Carousel #12.  One problem - Where was Carousel #12?  I asked someone who told me that it was off to the side from Carousels #10 & #11.  Once I got there, I found my bag without problem, and began the long walk to the Uber stand.

For those unfamiliar with JFK airport, it is located in the middle of Jamaica Bay.  This means that it is usually uncomfortably humid.  Even with 75 degree weather, I was uncomfortable wearing leggings and a short sleeved dress.  After I reached the Uber stand, I summoned a car, and he was looking for me within 2 minutes.  Within 30 minutes, I was at RQS's house and ready to get some sleep.

California Vacation - Day 01 (Arrival in Los Angeles)

 

Today was a day I'll remember for a while.  Not only did I have to finish packing (and I forgot a few things), but I had some experiences which were very enlightening.

- - - - - -

My plan was to finish getting ready for my trip, and catch a cab around 10 am to take me to the train station.  Well, I did just that, but forgot my "outdoor" glasses after I was halfway to the train station.  So, I asked the cabbie to bring me back home for a minute, and took the opportunity to pick up my glasses.  This detour cost me 15 minutes, but I was able to take the express train to Grand Central with all my luggage.

Before I go on too far, I have to mention that I have a carry-on suitcase, a 28" large suitcase, my CPAP, and a large personal bag in which I could stuff a lot of things if needed,  Since I'm travelling as Marian, all of my makeup, toiletry supplies and other needed items must me in the carry-on, and yet set up to go through TSA security.  So, I'm forced to wheel two heavy bags from one part of Grand Central (the original terminal) to another part (the LIRR addition) while getting some exercise in the process.  

Metro North deposited me near the escalators which connect to the LIRR zone, and I proceeded to buy a one way ticket to Jamaica ($5.50), where I would connect to the overpriced JFK Airtrain ($8.50) that would take me to Delta's terminal.  Once at terminal 4, I checked my bag and proceeded to TSA security where the first incident took place.

Lately, I've been finding that people seem to be treating me as a heavyset, tall, 60+ year old woman.  My presentation seems to be good enough that I am taken for a cisgender female much of the time.  So I was pleasantly surprised when the TSA agent said I was travelling with someone else's passport.  Once I opened up my mouth and spoke in a voice an octave lower than expected, he simply told me where to go to be scanned before entering the secure zone.

Two hours later, I was on the plane and headed to Los Angeles.  While on the plane, the flight attendant asked me if there was anything I wanted, and I said I'd like a winning lotto ticket.  This made her smile and we made some nice chit chat as two women would, but not as a man and a woman would with the same phrase.  She was very pleased to take care of my needs, and though it was purely professional, I have the feeling that in a different time and place, we'd have probably been good friends.

Once in Los Angeles, I met the fellow from Princess Cruises who took care of my bags and made sure that I got on the right shuttle bus to the hotel.  At the hotel, I was greeted by a fellow at the reception desk who was surprised to see me as Marian, but carrying Mario's ID.  We chatted, and he told me that he was also trans (showing me a picture of him in female mode).  However, he had to revert to male presentation, as his beard kept coming in with ingrown hairs.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I look for the people from Princess, as I want to make sure I know what the routine will be on Saturday morning when I take the bus to the cruise terminal....

I've finished packing, but am not ready to go....

 

I can only imagine what will happen if I forgot to pack anything important for my trip.  Right now, both my carry-on and large suitcase are virtually ready to go.  There are a couple more things that I will need to pack in the morning, such as my CPAP machine.  But I'll deal with that in the morning.

- - - - - -

This afternoon, I had lunch with SJM, and we talked a bit about everything.  I mentioned the tax headaches I had this year, and she mentioned her headaches in that area.  And then we got into the problems with the American medical system and how they are forcing her to make choices that she shouldn't have to make.  After that, we talked about the place where we both once worked, and noted that it was a mediocre place to work at best, that we are both better off for being out of the place.

Once I was finished with lunch, I got a mani-pedi before doing some last minute cosmetics shopping for my trip.  I can't seem to find the small perfume vials I bought a while ago, and this forces me to bring a full size bottle in my checked suitcase.  AARGH!  So many things I should have checked out a long while ago, and I didn't do so.  Such is life.

Tomorrow, I'll get dressed as a female and prepare to spend the next 10 days of my life as Marian.  It'll always feel strange presenting my legal (male) ID at the airports and at the cruise ports.  But I know from experience that TSA has no problem with this, and that the cruise line hasn't given me any problems with this in the past.

Let's hope that I haven't forgotten anything....

- - - - - -

On other matters, I have ordered some outfits from Universal Standard.  What bothers me is that the day after I placed the order, I got a 20% off code that I could have used for this order.  Given that I spent over $350 for 2 garments, I would have saved at least $60 had I known to wait for a couple of days.  AARGH!

Next, I placed an Amazon order for a few things I'll need when I get back from my trip, knowing that my next door neighbor will hold them until I return home.  Couple this with a Lane Bryant order I placed (two slips that I'll wear as nighties), and there will be a lot waiting for me when I get home - including credit card bills....

Besides the asassination, how was the play?

 

After this weekend, I am not sure that I will bother with Chicago again.  Most of the trip was great, but it was book-ended by events that soured me on a lot of things.  But I will go into that after a brief reporting of our Girls Trip to Chicago.

- - - - - -

There were 4 of us scheduled to spend a long weekend in the Windy City: STX, JTX, RQS and me.  I'd be traveling in female mode for the entire trip, with only my masculine legal ID available to get me through airport security.  (More on that later.)  It would also be the first time that RQS would be taking a trip with me solely presenting as Marian.

I had packed both my suitcase and my backpack, and took a cab to to Croton Harmon station.  Well, I was so absent minded, that I left my backpack with my Chromebook in the washroom - and it was gone by the time I went back for it.  AARGH!  If I'm lucky, Metro North may find it, and then bring it to Lost and Found at Grand Central Terminal.  But to claim it, I need legal ID - of which I left a backup version (US Passport card) in that bag.  (Again, more on this later.)  So I took the cab back to my apartment, so that I could get a new supply of medicine before the trip.

The next few days with the girls was mostly uneventful.  (More on this later.)  We had a great time exploring Chicago, going to the Field Museum, the Art Institute, and Navy Pier on our first full day there, and then going to the Skydeck (Observation level at the Sears/Willis Tower), and then the Magnificent Mile on our second full day there.  After STX and JTX left for home, RQS and I went to the Rookery to see this classic building.  And that's where my troubles began.

After our Rookery tour, we went to a local place to have lunch.  That's where my wallet was stolen.  AARGH!  Instead of going to see the Money Museum at Chicago's Federal Reserve Bank, we ended up making phone calls to banks to cancel credit cards, and going to the South Side of Chicago to file a police report.

Arriving at the police station, we saw a migrant encampment completely surrounding the police station's block.  This is where I realized that having my wallet stolen is a "first world" problem.  These people have it much worse than I ever will. I couldn't avoid the children playing with the revolving door, as they didn't have much to play with.  Inside the station, people were encamped on one side of the "receiving area" while the other side had been cordoned off for police business.   

Chatting with the police officer while he was taking down my information, I found out that the area within the Loop has become a high crime area.  It is very different from the last time I was there, and even the PO has had his wallet stolen once.  So you can now see why I won't be visiting Chicago again for a while.

Today, it was time to go home.  With ALL of my ID taken by the pickpocket, I was worried about TSA airport security - and for good reason.  We checked out of our hotel room early, and got to the airport.  Although I had TSA Pre-Check privileges, for this trip, I lost them due to my missing ID.  I had to fill out a form to inform TSA that I was without ID, and then (after a minor back and forth between the TSA area and Delta's ticketing area) I had to wait again until a TSA officer was available to ask me several security questions to insure I was the person who would be flying home.  After a few minutes, this officer made a phone call, asked me some personal questions, and then I was cleared to pass through security screening - without Pre-Check privileges.  

Given a choice, I'd always go for Pre-Check (or Global Entry, if traveling internationally) to avoid the hassles of intense TSA screening.  Today, it was time to go home the way most people do.  I went through the full body scanner without my shoes, all of my bags were swabbed down for dangerous chemicals, and I had to have a full body pat down.  TSA had the grace to ask me whether I wanted a male or female to perform the pat down, and I said that it didn't matter. Once the pat down was done, I still had to wait for my bags to be processed, and after 30-45 minutes, I was ready to enter the secured area of the airport.

Once I entered the secured area, it was time to look for RQS.  And I couldn't find her.  Instead of being close to the TSA zone, she had located herself in an area where I couldn't see her.  So I proceeded to take the long walk to the gate, and wait for RQS - she'd have to pass by me to go home.  This made perfect sense, as she did find me with a little help from our cell phones.

Two hours after we boarded the plane, we landed at La Guardia airport.  And we were home before 7:15 pm.  Not bad!  But I still had to make it home.  Leaving at a little after 8:00 pm, I made perfect connections to get to Croton Harmon, and then found a cab waiting for a fare at the station.  After telling him my story, he offered to drive me home for free.  I'm glad that I didn't have to accept his generosity, as RQS had given me some money to have in my purse if needed.  But I am grateful that there are still some people in this world....