Another long, hot weekend was started early.

 

RQS and I discussed coming up early this weekend.  Although the "Lobster Truck" would be elsewhere, I was able to entice her to come up a day early with oysters - 12 Oysters for $12 at Whole Foods on Fridays between 2 and 5 pm.  So we made plans for her to meet me at Grand Central Terminal after I went to Universal Standard's Sample Sale.

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I got dressed in a comfortable dress on Thursday,  then left my house around noon, proceeding to Manhattan on the 12:42 pm train.  When the train got into Grand Central around 1:45 pm, we got delayed because the train couldn't make it al the way into the station, and had to discharge passengers through the first two cars of the train.  I was totally exhausted by the time I made it to Universal Standard.  (The heat both under and above ground was gruesome, and I was a little dehydrated by this point.)  So, after stopping for some air conditioned comfort, I went upstairs to do some shopping.

Once I was upstairs, I was greeted by a staffer who has seen me at several of the sample sales.  Then, I proceeded to browse the racks to find things I might be interested in.  As much as most of the stuff wasn't worth my interest, I found two items of worth: A blue sleeveless dress (that I wasn't sure that I should buy) and a pair of leggings that I could always wear when the weather gets cooler.  $75 later, I was out of there with garments that would normally sell for over $175 ($40 for the dress and $35 for the leggings)

Leaving the store, I decided to take the East Side local to Brooklyn Bridge, then back uptown to Grand Central.  This way, I could be assured to have a seat in an air conditioned car on its way uptown.  (The last thing I want to do is stand on a subway car being delayed due to problems ahead of us.)  While on my way, I found that RQS was 45 minutes behind me, so I knew I'd have to wait for her at Grand Central.

Around 3:30 pm, I arrived at Grand Central and waited for RQS to arrive, then we took the train back to Croton.  Since there was nothing ready for us to cook, we picked up some food at Trader Joe's and had dinner a little later.

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Friday came, and the focus of the day was to have oysters at Whole Foods.  So, I donned the blue dress I bought the day before, and we drove to Chappaqua.  RQS thought we were going to White Plains, and I wanted to see what it was like on the former Reader's Digest campus.  We got there at 2:30 pm, and the supply of oysters was already starting to run out.  $24 later, we were eating oysters normally selling for twice the price - and they were yummy!  If scheduling works out, we may make this a semi-regular part of our routine.

Once done with our meal, it was off to the jewelers to have a few links taken out of her watch band.  And then, we drove to Cold Spring for Ice Cream before returning home for the night.

Skipping out on a meetup and making new plans.

 

In the past, when in my "Pink Fog", I experimented with my gender presentation and went to meetups geared to women.  I was accepted, though most knew I was TG.  Yet, after a bad experience or two, I decided to skip out on a women's meetup. As much as I could be reacting out of fear, I also feel that I've been eating out way too often, and need to do something else other than meeting new acquaintances.  This means that I again had the option to go into NYC and see a play while RQS is away for the weekend.

Did I go to the play on Friday?  No. Although I woke up early enough to go out and take a 1 mile walk, I stayed inside much of the day, and went out only to buy some essentials at the local BJ's Wholesale Club.  That's where I found out that my reproduced card with my Marian picture didn't work.  (This was a planned test of the reproduction, as I had the good card with Mario's picture on me.)  Since I no longer have the card with my Marian image that works (it was stolen while I was in Chicago last year), I'll have to bite the bullet and announce that I am trans to get an official card with Marian's picture and name on it.

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Saturday came, and I took my time on getting up.  Although there are two full loads of laundry to be done, I've had no energy to do them.  Instead, I decided to migrate most of my full resolution photos to be backed up in Amazon Photos, so that I can make space on Google photos for new pictures.  This has been a very time consuming process, as I have to upload photo organization and information from my computer's hard drive to create albums in Amazon photos.  By midday, less than half of my photos were in organized Amazon photo folders.  At least, this is only a time consuming task that will take several days to complete.

Later in the day, I decided to go and see an Off Broadway play.  Instead of seeing "Celino v. Barnes" like I planned (the evening performance was sold out), I chose to see "Someone Spectacular" in its place.  (If I had thought more, I'd have gone to see Blue Man Group and saved "Someone Spectacular" for when RQS is back home.  But I digress....)  

I purchased my ticket online, then headed down to NYC with only a few minutes to spare.  The 4:52 pm train gave me 2 hours in which I could find something to eat, then make it to the theater.  Normally, I would have no problem leaving Grand Central at 7:00 pm, taking a crosstown bus to make an 8:00 pm performance.  So I went downstairs for a bite to eat, then listened to a busker perform "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" on his horn.  However, the bus I took was overcrowded and took almost 45 minutes to make it to 10th avenue from Grand Central (4th Avenue/Park Avenue).  For those not familiar with New York City, that's a speed of 1.33 miles per hour!  NYC should be ashamed for rushing the extension of the Flushing line (the #7 train) to Hudson Yards without having a 10th Avenue stop.  In the rush to get the job done "on time" for political purposes only, we lost a much needed stop on the West Side that would serve some Off Broadway theaters and get people onto faster subsurface transit.

Eventually, I found myself in front of the theater and picked up my ticket.  A few minutes later, and I was seated for the play.  Now, the opening 10 minutes has the cast fiddling around, moving chairs and things, killing time before their grief therapist is to arrive.  But the therapist never arrives, and here the real play truly begins.  If one has been to group therapy, especially Grief therapy, then the situations of each of the characters will seem very familiar.  So when the play starts having the characters start baring their souls, the play becomes both funny and serious at the same time.  I'm not going to spoil this play by giving out any more details.  But I highly recommend seeing this play if you are in the NYC area.

When I got out of the theater, I noticed that the crosstown buses were running every 15-20 minutes or so.  Instead of waiting and missing my train to Croton, I walked the 2 long blocks to 8th Avenue, where I made the big mistake of entering the subway system to walk the last block over to 7th Avenue where I could catch the shuttle to Grand Central.  I must have walked up and down stairs equivalent to that of a 4-5 story building while walking that last block.  (But I did get my workout for the day!)  Luckily, I made it to Grand Central with 15 minutes to catch my train.

On the way home, I had a texting conversation with RQS regarding the party she attended in Boston.  I won't go into too much, save that I am concerned about RQS being in a car when her friend is driving due to her questionable judgement.  Hopefully, RQS can find polite ways to tell this friend NOT to drive when she's partied for too long....

A day with RQS at her place as Marian, then going to my place for the evening

 

After 9 days away from home, it was nice to spend the better part of the day at RQS's place in Marian mode.  Unfortunately, I had to make it home, as I had an appointment at the bank as Mario, so that I could take care of some co-op business the next day.  So both of us trekked to my place to spend the evening together - something we haven't been able to do for a while.

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As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I spent the whole day in transit from LA, returning to NYC.  Neither RQS nor I wanted to get up.  So we lollygagged a bit, then went out for tacos.  One thing about the Ridgewood Taco Factory I can say is that its food is as good as any Mexican food I've had in California. And it was a better choice for food than the bagels RQS might have selected for our meal.

Once done with lunch. we went back to RQS's place, picked up our bags, and proceeded to the bus for our trip to Croton.  I had chosen a subway route which would allow us to use "Accessible" stations (elevators from/to street, mezzanine and platform levels), so that neither of us would have to use staircases with our rolling bags.  All went well as we transferred from the bus to the subway, and that's where the irritation started.  One of us used our transit cards to open the gate used by handicapped people, and a stream of 20 people entered without paying their fares.  We encountered some of those people again at the elevator, as these mothers with children took up the space on the elevator for two cycles.  Luckily, we still had time to spare before the train to Manhattan came.

We took the train into Manhattan, and got off at Union Square for the next leg of our trip to Grand Central.  And this is where we encountered another glitch in our plans - the elevator to the uptown platform was out of service until the summer.  So we ended up having to use a staircase after all.  I had no problem with the large suitcase that weighed over 50 pounds, but RQS was having trouble with the smaller suitcase that may have weighed 30 pounds.  Luckily, some good Samaritan helped RQS with the smaller bag, and we were able to make the train to Times Square, then a transfer onto the shuttle to Grand Central.

Finally, at Grand Central, we were able to take a break for 5 minutes.  I was already sweating a little because of my wig and my physical effort, and knew I'd need to take a break when we got to Croton. We ended up taking the local, then caught a cab to finally reach my apartment.  Although we later went out for a bite to eat, our day was effectively over, as neither of us had much energy to do anything else but watch reruns of old TV shows before finally going to sleep.

California Vacation - Day 01 (Arrival in Los Angeles)

 

Today was a day I'll remember for a while.  Not only did I have to finish packing (and I forgot a few things), but I had some experiences which were very enlightening.

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My plan was to finish getting ready for my trip, and catch a cab around 10 am to take me to the train station.  Well, I did just that, but forgot my "outdoor" glasses after I was halfway to the train station.  So, I asked the cabbie to bring me back home for a minute, and took the opportunity to pick up my glasses.  This detour cost me 15 minutes, but I was able to take the express train to Grand Central with all my luggage.

Before I go on too far, I have to mention that I have a carry-on suitcase, a 28" large suitcase, my CPAP, and a large personal bag in which I could stuff a lot of things if needed,  Since I'm travelling as Marian, all of my makeup, toiletry supplies and other needed items must me in the carry-on, and yet set up to go through TSA security.  So, I'm forced to wheel two heavy bags from one part of Grand Central (the original terminal) to another part (the LIRR addition) while getting some exercise in the process.  

Metro North deposited me near the escalators which connect to the LIRR zone, and I proceeded to buy a one way ticket to Jamaica ($5.50), where I would connect to the overpriced JFK Airtrain ($8.50) that would take me to Delta's terminal.  Once at terminal 4, I checked my bag and proceeded to TSA security where the first incident took place.

Lately, I've been finding that people seem to be treating me as a heavyset, tall, 60+ year old woman.  My presentation seems to be good enough that I am taken for a cisgender female much of the time.  So I was pleasantly surprised when the TSA agent said I was travelling with someone else's passport.  Once I opened up my mouth and spoke in a voice an octave lower than expected, he simply told me where to go to be scanned before entering the secure zone.

Two hours later, I was on the plane and headed to Los Angeles.  While on the plane, the flight attendant asked me if there was anything I wanted, and I said I'd like a winning lotto ticket.  This made her smile and we made some nice chit chat as two women would, but not as a man and a woman would with the same phrase.  She was very pleased to take care of my needs, and though it was purely professional, I have the feeling that in a different time and place, we'd have probably been good friends.

Once in Los Angeles, I met the fellow from Princess Cruises who took care of my bags and made sure that I got on the right shuttle bus to the hotel.  At the hotel, I was greeted by a fellow at the reception desk who was surprised to see me as Marian, but carrying Mario's ID.  We chatted, and he told me that he was also trans (showing me a picture of him in female mode).  However, he had to revert to male presentation, as his beard kept coming in with ingrown hairs.

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Tomorrow, I look for the people from Princess, as I want to make sure I know what the routine will be on Saturday morning when I take the bus to the cruise terminal....

Lunch with Maria - with a closeup view of MNRR/Amtrak

 

Today, Maria and I finally got the chance to meet for lunch.  She has her hands full raising her two grandchildren, as well as taking care of a daughter who is not responsible enough to take care of herself and her children.  So, we get together much less often than we would like.  But when we do, the conversation flows like the Niagara river.

Maria wasn't in the best of moods when we got together, as she had several problems on her mind.  I listened a bit, and gave some suggestions when asked. But for the most part, I let her speak until she was ready to let me jump in with the changes going on in my life.  While chatting, both Metro North and Amtrak trains passed by the restaurant, and we had to suspend our conversation for a few seconds while the trains passed by.

I asked Maria if her older daughter was likely to get married, and she noted that this daughter wasn't yet ready for a husband, children, or any of the other situations a woman in her 20's might find herself in. So I had a little fun in mentioning that I'm looking for a good excuse to make myself as pretty as possible again, to wear a fancy dress, and go out in the world as Marian to a formal affair.  Maria smiled at that.  I'm not so sure if this would ever happen, but it would be nice if it does....

A test run of a trip to NYC to reach a ferry terminal.

 

I loved watching Bugs Bunny cartoons when I was a kid.  He always seemed to come out on top of almost every situation.  But in the real world, that's the type of thing that requires a lot of work.  Soon, I'll be taking a cruise out of Brooklyn, and I figured that I needed to take a test trip using Metro North and the NYC Subway to reach the Pier 11 ferry terminal, and I'm glad I did this, as I found out that I will need to change my plans for this journey.

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Shortly after I finished lunch, I decided to trek into NYC by train.  Since it was a weekday, I was glad that I was not wheeling a bag - for reasons I will discuss in a bit.  I had some GI Tract issues which delayed me a little, and I ended up leaving for Croton-Harmon station later than planned.  By the time I got there, the usual supply of available metered parking spots (freed by people returning to Croton in the early afternoon) was depleted, and there were several cars hovering in the lanes of the lot waiting for spaces to open.  I was in luck - a space opened up just in time for me to both pay for parking and to make it onto the 3:45 pm express to Grand Central.

Around 4:40 pm, I arrived at Grand Central, and browsed the holiday court of stores before heading to the subway.  Since the Lexington Avenue line (#4 & #5 trains) runs along Broadway in lower Manhattan, I doubted that I'd use it to reach Pier 11, as it is a long walk from the Wall Street station to Water Street.  This ride gave me a good reason to nix this line for use - It is not an ADA accessible station.  It would be a major effort to lift my bag up the stairs (as there are no elevators at the station) and then walk th the pier.  On my way to the pier, I noticed that the 7th Avenue line (#2 & #3 trains) would be just as bad a choice to reach the pier.  So what should I do?  I figured that I'd walk to South Ferry and see if there was a bus that runs along Water Street, and figure out how to take it from the Staten Island Ferry terminal to Pier 11.  Although I didn't see the downtown bound M15 Bus, I did see uptown bound buses, and knew that I could reach the ferry terminal without problems.  (I'll deal with the return trip when I get back to NYC.)  And the South Ferry subway station is ADA accessible.  So, now I had a plan.

Once I got to South Ferry, I took the 7th Avenue local to Times Square, then transferred to the 42nd Street shuttle to reach Grand Central.  While at Grand Central, I decided to look at the Long Island Railroad Terminal.  They did a nice job on it, and the rest rooms look much better than their counterparts in the original Grand Central.  (I say that, as they do their best to make the restrooms stay clean at the original Grand Central, but they look the worse from many years of overuse.)  But soon enough, I had to return to the Metro North zone and board a train with only 5 minutes to spare.  I'm glad I did so, as the train was a super express that didn't even stop in Harlem.

Soon enough, I was back home and in for the night.  It was a long day, but only because I did a lot of walking.  My legs were telling me to call it a day when I reached Wall Street.  By the time I walked to South Ferry, my legs were cooperating with me and didn't mind the exercise.  I wonder if I will feel the same way when I do both legs of this journey for real in a few days.

 

 

PS: They were preparing to light the Financial District's Xmas Tree as I walked along Wall Street.  Glad I didn't stay to see it, as I'd bet that the area would be a pickpocket's paradise in a little while.  I certainly don't want to visit DMV again, nor do I want to dealing with stopping stolen cards again!

A trip to lower manhattan that achieved nothing

The Oculus.  It's a beautiful work of architectural art.  But it was an enormous waste of money to many people, costing over $4,000,000,000 to build.  Supposedly, it is a transit hub.  Yes, you can reach many of New York City's subway lines here, as well as the PATH tubes.  But it is more of a shopping mall than it is anything else.

If you look closely at the above picture, the Oculus is more of an upscale shopping mall than anything else.  When one enters the building from one of the subway stations that reach its corners,  one can't help but notice the beauty of the place.  It is attractive.  But then one notices how many stores are located in this building.

But why did I end up going here today?

To start, I've wanted to go to the 9/11 memorial and museum for a long while.  But I refuse to pay full rate to go there, when I could go there for free after 5:30 pm on Mondays. So I tried to get tickets for today (I'm writing this on a Monday) and found that I was locked out.  Thinking that it was first come, first serve (such as MoMA was on Friday Evenings before the pandemic), I decided to try to go to the museum.  

 

To start, the Northern half of Metro North's Hudson line was impassable due to damage from abnormally heavy rains.  Although I could take the train from Croton-Harmon station, I had no idea of the operational confusion that would exist when I returned to Grand Central Terminal.  All I knew was that I was on a train which would make all local stops on the way to Grand Central - I'd make it to the memorial by 5:30 pm.

Arriving in Manhattan, I couldn't help but notice the heat.  And it felt worse as soon as I entered the subway.  As planned, I made it to the memorial shortly after 5:30, and found out that I had to get my tickets in advance.  They went "on sale" at 7:30 am, and were "sold out" shortly afterward.  This explains why I couldn't  get tickets via the online portal.

My next stop was the Oculus.  It looked sterile compared to the rest of the city's infrastructure.  Did I mind being there?  No.  But I wouldn't go out of my way to see this place or to shop there.  There was nothing there that I would buy, and most of the people I saw there were on their way to go to other places.

 
Finally, it was time for me to go home.  When I reached Grand Central, I found out that trains running on both the Hudson and Harlem lines were affected by washouts. And again, I ended up on a train making all local stops.  Arriving at Croton-Harmon, I considered myself lucky.  All I had to do was walk to my car.  Others had to get on buses like this to go to stations in Cortlandt, Peekskill, Beacon, and Poughkeepsie.  No one knows when the tracks will be restored enough to support daily commuter travel to/from New York City.

Reaching my car, I noticed that the weather was now perfect for being outside.  This was a perfect time to be wearing a nice flowing dress (which I was) and wish the daylight could have lasted a bit longer, so that I could finally enjoy some time outdoors.  No one can control when the sun sets - and that is a good thing for us.

Traveling to/from NYC

 

East Side Access / Grand Central Madison.  It's been a dream for many people for years.  However, it was not available when I needed it, nor was it in public use by year end 2022 as promised by the MTA.  If East Side Access was available when I needed it, I might have used mass transit to reach the airport instead of staying at a hotel near the airport before my flight to Hawaii.

Unlike some lucky cities, two major railroads controlled access to Manhattan island by rail: The New York Central Railroad and the Pennsylvania Railroad.  Although both of these railroads are long gone, the competing infrastructure they built still remains for commuter rail and for intercity rail.  This legacy has created a system where I am unable to use Amtrak for trips to/from my home station, unless I pay for an expensive trip into Pennsylvania Station, NY (NYP) or use the NYC Subway to reach Pennsylvania Station from Grand Central Terminal (GCT).  (Amtrak's fares actively discourage people from using Empire Service to reach NYC from the North, as it doesn't want to provide commuter service along this route.) Historical airport placement doesn't help either, as none of the 3 major NYC airports were designed for mass transit to deliver people people between Manhattan and the airports. As a result, I couldn't justify traveling into NYP, then using either New Jersey Transit (NJT) or Long Island Railroad (LIRR) to reach Newark (EWR) or Kennedy (JFK) airports.  Even reaching La Guardia (LGA) airport is a pain, as one can only reach LGA (via mass transit) via the NYC Subway, then connecting to a bur to the airport.  

At both JFK and EWR, special transit has been built to transport people between railroad stations and the airports.  But this can result in awkward land based trips to reach the airport.  For example, had East Side Access (ESA) been available to me, I'd still need to take Metro North (MNRR) into NYC, then transfer to a LIRR train to Jamaica, and finally a special "AirTrain" to JFK.  EWR and LGA would still be unavailable to me.

Years ago, there were buses that (for a small fee) would transport people between the NYP and GCT railroad hubs and the 3 NYC area airports.  Sadly, the last time I looked, these buses are no more.  If I want to go to an airport, I either have to find cheap parking nearby, or use an expensive cab to reach the airport. I am worse off now than I was 30 years ago!

However, this problem isn't limited to air travel.  With the exception of the Manhattan cruise terminal, cruise ships dock in either Brooklyn, NY or Bayonne, NJ.  Neither is good for many people as one can only reach these terminals from Manhattan via an expensive cab or Uber ride.  If one lives in the outer boroughs, the expense is even worse.  Only if I'm traveling from RQS's place will I consider going to Red Hook, Brooklyn to go on a cruise.  It would cost me way too much to reach Brooklyn from my home - I might as well fly somewhere where cheaper cruises are being offered.  As for Bayonne, I doubt that I will ever cruise out of that port, as I can not justify the excessive cost of leaving my car in a unattended (or under attended) parking lot.

As you can guess, New York City is not a place that makes it easy for frugal travel.  But I still find ways to do so, and will continue to write about my exploits as Marian and as Mario as they occur.

The Subway and the Mattress

 

Today was a day I almost wasted.  Like yesterday, I didn't have much energy.  Unlike yesterday, I knew that I had to get out of the apartment to do some shopping for the week.  However, with that as an excuse, I was motivated to get up to test a mattress I'm thinking of buying.

- - - - - -

Normally, I'd take Metro North into NYC, then take a bus (or subway) to the area of the mattress store and hoof it from there.  However, I had other transit plans for the day. Since I knew I'd have problems with an out of date Metrocard (see above), I decided to go to the subway station nearest Ex-GF-M's house and see if I could get help transferring the balance from one card to a new one.  The older card (expiring during the worse of the pandemic) has to be mailed into the MTA for a refund.  But at least, I should get some money back.  The newer card hadn't yet expired, so I exchanged it for a new card and added some money to it.

Once on the subway, I knew that it would be a 1 hour trip into midtown.  Luckily, the saatva.com studio was only a short walk away.  After trying out their "HD" mattress for size (it's designed for heavy folk like me), I was close to making the decision to buy the mattress then and there.  But I figure that I can wait until tomorrow, and be sure that I'm doing the right thing.

Next, I went home, buying some lunches for the coming week.  I decided to cancel a few meetup RSVPs, so that I can spend more time at home - and maybe clean up my apartment with some of the time I freed up.

I just don't want to get hurt again

 

In the above picture, I am very happy being out and about in the world as Marian.  It is something I don't plan to give up.  But I am willing to negotiate how much time I spend in this presentation - if I'm with the right partner.

- - - - - -

Looking at romance, I don't want to get hurt again, or to hurt someone else.  In my case, I have to be careful how much I open the door to communicating with the ex girlfriend, as I could fall for her again without a chance of her doing the same with me.  And both of us would need to be very sure of ourselves before taking another chance at anything other than friendship.  Making things more complex for me is my relationship with FH.  Is it a romance or a friendship?  It could be either one with her, and not something I want to risk at this time. (I'm pretty sure that it is a relationship that will end when the pandemic does, based on the evidence I have.)  But without anyone sharing my bed in a while, it makes sense for me to keep all options open for now.

When I woke up today, it was with the help of an alarm on my phone.  And I had forgotten that I had an appointment with Vanessa to help her with setting up Google Ads to promote her web site.  So I was very glad that she called to confirm things early on.  This allowed me to schedule my laundry runs properly, as I didn't want to go into my new office wearing dirty clothes.

Around 3:30, I made it out of the house and started my trip up to Dover Plains to see Vanessa.  And  I was glad that I started when I did, as I ended up having to fill up my car along the way.  (Who wants to look for gas in a rural area when it's dark outside?)  I made it up to her place around 5:15, and we got started on trying to find the right phrases and keywords to bring people to her site.  By the time 7:30 came around, we were both fried.  So I bid her an adieu around 8:30, and started my drive home.

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Now, I have to shift to a new topic at this point.  Earlier in the day, I was trying to make my first vaccination appointment for Covid-19.  One problem - New York's website was overloaded with people trying to make their appointments, and a flaw in the site was displaying possible appointments without preserving their availability for when one was selected.  As a result, there was a lot of needless back and forth in the application, where people like me were selecting an appointment time, and then being told that the appointment wasn't available.  I figured that I'd try to get an appointment later in the evening.

While at Vanessa's one of her clan was also trying to get an appointment.  Using the NYS hotline, she was able to score an appointment for tomorrow morning.  One problem - Metro North was not running a normal schedule, and this member of Vanessa's clan has to take an Uber to get to Westchester for the vaccination.  At least she has an early appointment.  When I got home, I used the NYS website again, and was finally able to score an appointment for early April in Queens.  AARGH!   This will give me one benefit - I'll be able to tell my boss that I need the day off to get my shot.

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Sooner or later, my life will return to a new normal.  Whatever that normal is, I don't know.  But I'm in a better place now than I was at this time last year.