Another Game Night

 

I had two things on the docket: Having lunch with my friend from the census, then going to Game Night later on in the evening.  Given my energy level as of late, I'd have rather skipped both.  But I'm glad I didn't do so....

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In hot weather, I get very uncomfortable wearing my wigs.  As a transgender person, the male hormones that flowed through my body for years have poisoned the hair follicles on my head.  In short, my male pattern baldness has forced me to wear wigs when presenting as female.  So I try to stay in air conditioned comfort during the summer.  Today, I was able to do so.

Waking up way before the alarm sounded, I knew that I would need to fall asleep early, or to take a nap sometime during the afternoon.  So I decided to get up and take care of some things before getting showered, made up, and dressed to go out for lunch at a nearby Mexican restaurant suggested by my friend.

When I arrived at the restaurant, it had its normal lunch crowd.  So, I took a seat and waited for my friend.  She texted me to tell me that she was going to be late - she had forgotten to put in her contact lenses, and had to go back inside the house to take care of things.  After 5-10 minutes, my friend arrived.  I told her all about my Norway cruise, and our plans to visit Alaska next year.  She then told me all about her trip to Vegas to celebrate her son's 21st birthday, as well as how gambling comps have paid for some of the cruises she has taken and for spectacular rooms in hotels - one of which was a suite with a pool table in it.  (Hopefully, my friend won't mind me saying this much about her.)  All too soon, lunch ended and we made plans for next month.

I went home for a while, and then got ready for game night.  This was a time I could have easily have stayed home and caught up on my sleep.  Instead, I rushed down to Yonkers and was late for the first game of the night.  (It was only designed for 4 players, and I would have been the 5th.)  So I waited until the next game was played, and enjoyed that.  Things started to break up around 10:00 pm, and I couldn't wait to get home to sleep - and I was out within 1 1/2 hours.

 

Giving away some wigs - a quick post

 

The other day, I found a couple of wigs of the style (and quality) I used to wear when I first started going out as Marian.  By the standard of wigs I wear today, these were the equivalent of cheap costume jewelry. Although the style looked good on me, I would have to replace the wig on a monthly (or even, a bi-weekly basis) to be wearing something that looks good on me.

Years ago, I started wearing inexpensive wigs that cost $60 or so.  They served my purpose way back when, but I knew I needed to wear something better.  So, I graduated to wearing wigs in the $300-$400 range, and replacing them every 6 months or so.  (I still can't believe that one of my current wigs still looks OK after 9+ months of wear.  But I will soon be using it as a backup when I take my upcoming Bahamas cruise.)  There's a part of me that would like to try a much more expensive human hair wig that costs $1,800-$2,500 or so (as once recommended by my former cruise partner, FCP), but I am uncomfortable spending that kind of money on a wig when my face still looks relatively masculine - even with properly applied makeup.

What might the big deal be in regard to the human hair wig?  To answer this, one has to understand the psychology of the largest group of consumers (in the New York Area) for human hair wigs - the ultra orthodox Jewish women whose faith prohibits them from showing their real hair in public.  To get around this, they wear wigs in place of their own human hair as a way to skirt around laws of their faith. (Don't get me started about their Eruvs.)  FCP came from such a tradition, and wanted me to upgrade my look.  But, I realized that it made more sense to be able to replace my wigs in the same way that women might try new hair styles and colors until they get one that works - then stick with it for a while.

Right now, I have 4 unworn wigs in my closet, and will be taking it out to replace the oldest wig that I now wear.  Hopefully, I will be able to get as much wear out of this wig as I have its predecessor.....

 

 

 

PS: One can feel the difference between an old and new wig.  And that's how I usually determine when to retire a wig.  So keep a new one around to compare the feel between old and new wigs.  When the old one starts feeling worn out, replace it.  You'll be glad you did.

One woman says I passed the test of femininity.

 

Somehow, I feel proud about what happened today.  I passed a test of femininity while presenting as a female. But first....

- - - - -

The other day, I was told that I've been given the authority to sign checks for my co-op.  However, it is a responsibility I didn't ask for, and almost blew off.  (I couldn't find the original email telling me who to ask for, and I had a case of the "fuck its" until I checked information in my online calendar.  At that point, I knew I wouldn't make it to have lunch with Vicki, and rescheduled our get together for a mid afternoon get together at Starbucks.  This was just as well, as the bank officer wasn't able to speak with me until 1:30, and I'd feel guilty telling Vicki that I screwed up after she left home.

At 1:30, I finally met with the bank officer, and we took care of the co-op account paperwork.  However, I had an issue of my own - I wanted to get the limit on one of my cards increased so that I could pay for my Hawaii cruise with a single charge on a single card.  Instead of shifting available credit balances from one card to another, he suggested that I open up a new account which more than doubled the credit available to me and gave me a $250 bonus for charging $500 to the new card within 3 months.  Of course, I expected to charge $9,000 on the card, so I would likely net almost $400 for opening up the account.  There is one potential issue - this may get in the way of me getting a good rate when I buy a car.  But more on that issue later.

Once done with the bank, I drove home and changed into Marian mode, wearing my new wig.  Vicki said that this wig looks better than my old wig as it better covers my chin bones.  She also apologized for going off on me at our last get together.  And I made a comment about FCP and XGFJ.  She agrees with me on how I interpret things, and said that I did the right thing by saying nothing.

After I left Vicki in Yorktown, it was off to the store to pick up a dessert for my meetup. With dessert in hand, I drove to Milford via the back roads - the turnpike was backed up (as usual). Like last time I was there, showers were in the forecast, and it drizzled a little throughout the party.  So, I sat down inside and read some email.  I found out that an auto dealer was willing to accept MSRP on a sedan, and $1500 over MSRP on the SUV.  So I now have a serious decision to make about buying a car.  While reading my emails, a woman came into the room and asked me if she minded if she changed her top into something warmer.  I shut the front door, and made sure no one came in while she was changing.  About the only thing I could see was her bra.  But she would not have let me see that if she thought I was a male.  RQS said that I passed the female test - women are now accepting me as a woman, albeit a tall, fat, and homely one. And that's fine with me.  I'd have gotten no excitement had she been braless and I had seen her breasts.  When presenting as Marian, I am reacting more and more like a cisgender women than I'd have thought years ago.

What would be going through your mind had you been in my position?

I decided to break out a new wig tonight.

This has been my go-to wig for a while.  When new, it does wonders for my face.  When worn out, it cries for replacement.  Today, I broke out my replacement wig and wore it to dinner.  No, I an not going to stop using my old wig for a while.  I intend to continue wearing it to work until the end of the month.

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As much as I want to replace this wig in my usual color, I decided to go a shade darker to see how it looks on me.  This wig will likely not make it to work for a while.  Instead, I will wear it less often, so it can last a while.  But I will replace the old wig in its color the next time it goes on sale at one of my usual online outlets.

Years ago, my former cruise partner criticized me for wanting to keep wearing an old wig until "My" expiration date - 3 (or 4) months after start of daily use.  There are two equally valid points of view here.  First, I allocate so much money in my budget for wigs each year. And if I break out a wig earlier than planned, I will need to replace it earlier than planned.  Since no one on a cruise ship will ever see me again after a cruise, who cares if they think I'm having a bad hair day?  The other viewpoint involves her wanting me to look my best, and damn the costs involved.  Give in to this urge too easily, and one will be buying expensive human hair wigs and not getting one's money worth from these purchases.  And to make the equation more interesting, my former friend wanted me to buy my wigs from the same places which supply human hair wigs to Ultra Orthodox Jewish women.  They are of the highest quality, and their prices reflect that quality.

The price/value equation for wigs was always a point of contention between me and my former cruise partner.  And I was not going to let her dictate to me how I should spend my money.  So, when I compute the cost per wear for these wigs over a two year period, I find that I get the same value by replacing wigs every 3 months that I might get from replacing a human hair wig every 2 years.  Yes, the human hair wig should last longer if properly cared for.  But I know that I am tough on my wigs, and would likely ruin a human hair wig early in its use.  So why spend good money on a wig that I couldn't maintain properly?

- - - - - -

There are less expensive human hair wigs that I could buy.  But I haven't seen any in a large cap that I could style to my liking.  If I were to buy one of these wigs, it would need to be a special occasion wig, for use at weddings and other important occasions.  Since I don't go to too many of these soirees, it doesn't make much sense to buy one.

What do you think?
 

What do you do with an old wig when it's worn out?

 

It's too bad I can't do voice impersonations with the written word.  If I could, I'd be channeling Rod Serling's voice and doing a Twilight Zone type of introduction to this entry. Sadly, I can't, and will try to do my best with this limitation.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I have had to replace my wigs on a regular basis.  When I was out and about as Marian once or twice during the week, I replaced my wigs every 6 months or so.  These days, with almost daily use, I tend to replace my wigs every 3-4 months, usually having at least one emergency wig in reserve. Yet, I'm usually left with a wig that's serviceable, but not one that makes me look my best.  So what should I do with it?

Right now, I have a collection of several old wigs that should either be thrown out or restyled for other uses.  They are all in the same style, as there are very few large cap wigs that fit my head and look good on me.  Yet, I can do something with a few of them.  But what?

I expect that I will soon throw away most of the older wigs, keeping one or two for use as backups when I go on cruises.  (Why wear a good wig when going into the hot tub?)  But until then, they will be collecting dust in a dark part of my closet....

Sometimes, a vendor screws up fixing a screw up.

 

The other day, an online wig store I've used in the past had a sale that I missed on the above wig.  When I tried to use the every day discount code mentioned on the site, the code wasn't accepted.  This was not a big problem to me, but I wanted to buy my wig from a store with which I've done business before.  So I wrote the following email to ask what could be done for me.

Hi -

I am looking to buy the Upstage wig.  However, the discount code listed with the item today does not work when trying to check out and buy the wig.

Can I get the wig at the discounted price?

Marian

 

I received the following reply to this email, a good faith attempt to resolve this issue:

That's a great question. We love that brand too and we're so proud to offer it in our store. However, the owners of this brand has requested that they be excluded from the ongoing 30% off coupon we offer on our site.  We want to keep selling their products, so we have to go along with it. :-( 

We are allowed to run occasional flash sales on these coupon-excluded items, so keep an eye on our newsletter! This is the place where Heather sends out her best coupons every month, which are often much better deals than the ones offered to the public. It's easy to sign up, too! (If you're not signed up already!) 

Thanks for writing into the Client Care Help Desk! Have a great afternoon!

As a one time policy exception we have granted you a discount code Marian Johnson30% for 30% off on your upstage.

We hope this is helpful. Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate and let us know.

When I got around to using this code a day or two later, it was not accepted on the web site.  (I can understand why the gentleman could think that I was going to place the order as soon as I received the special discount code, so I'm leaving him and his firm unnamed.) Instead of asking this firm to fix its second problem, I decided to buy the wig from a different vendor, albeit in a slightly different shade than I would have otherwise selected.  Hopefully, I'll have a second reliable firm from which I can buy my wigs at a reasonable price....

 

 

 

Thinking about a conversation I had at a recent meetup

Sometimes, a wig is just a wig.  And sometimes, it is something more.  In the case of an Orthodox Jewish Married Woman, a Sheitel is an essential tool to "preserve modesty" in a subtle way.  According to an article in the Forward, "Jewish law calls for women to cover their hair after marriage, and many religious women see wigs as a more subtle covering than hats or headscarves."  To many women wearing Sheitels, spending between $1,000 to $5,000 is excessive.  And these ladies are going elsewhere to get their wigs.

A former friend kept pushing me to go to a store specializing in supplying sheitels for the Orthodox community.  I couldn't see spending $2,500 on a wig - even if it would last me 6 times as long as the wigs I now wear (assuming proper care).  As much as the wig would look better for a longer time, I don't feel comfortable putting an extra $2,000+ into buying a wig, and having something go wrong several months into its expected lifespan.  I'd rather buy a new wig every 3-6 months or so, and have that extra $2,000 in the bank earning interest for me.

WDJ says that I can get a human hair wig much cheaper than that by going the Chinese route.  I'm pretty sure that I could do that given the article I just read.  This would be a boon to me and other M2F transgenders, as most of us want to look as pretty as possible.  And a woman's hair will always be one of the first things a person notices about that woman.  If I could be sure I was getting a wig that fit properly and looked good on me, I'd consider the Chinese route for myself.

I don't think I'm giving away any secrets when I mention that WDJ enjoys wearing her wigs.  (Since she occasionally makes it known to people at the meetup, I don't think she'd mind me casually mentioning this fact.)  Both WDJ and I were chatting with a new woman at our dining meetup, and the subject of wigs came up.  Each of us had stories about our wigs, and WDJ talked about her experiences in Facebook wig forums, as well as some of the purchases she has made over the years.  Given her experiences with some vendors, I may consider going the Chinese route when I decide to go with a human hair wig - as long as I have a few extra dollars to gamble.  Since I am a conservative gambler, I expect that I will likely get a good deal on a wig once I've done all necessary research on going the Chinese route.