Monday, March 20, 2023

We are under attack!

 

Now that the GOP has lost its war against Homosexuals and "Gay Marriage", they have turned their sights directly onto us, the Transgender Community.  If one looks carefully at the bills that have been passed which ban gender related treatment, we see an underlying hatred for things "Conservatives" don't understand, are fearful of, and want to rid the world of because of that fear.

I see homosexuality and being transgender as part of a greater intersex spectrum, something that happens when one part of a fetus's development (brain and body) does not happen according to typical gender lines. This is different from many people see intersex, as I include the wiring of the brain as part of the definition of intersex.

When people are not able to classify something into something they can understand and manage, their fears go out of control.  Rationality is lost, as primeval instincts kick in.  When people live under constant threat due to their inability to escape poverty, they turn to bombastic populist leaders. When people remember "the good old days" without seeing how bad they were for others, they want simple answers to complicated problems.  We now see all of these issues and more in the people who support the radicals in today's GOP.

We are under attack.  There are a large number of places in this country where I am afraid to travel as Marian because of being transgender.  My rights to be treated with dignity and respect are being taken away by the likes of the governors of Florida and Texas, all for political gain.  The people of their states (and other "Red States" as well) need scapegoats to punish for their misfortune.  Even though I blend in well with cisgender women, I would not feel safe in entering a public washroom in these states.  If I were to enter a place of public accommodation, I could be discriminated against without reason.  And, if I were to deal with law enforcement authorities, I could be treated in a way that puts my life at risk.  Is this right?

There is a culture war going on right now, and large swaths of the population who have retreated into political tribalism. There are large areas of this nation which are one party states.  In the past, even the dominant party in these states could reasonably be expected to be voted out if it didn't do a good enough job for their states.  This is not the case anymore.  People such as Florida's governor are trying to ban the opposition political party for actions many of its leaders took over 160 years ago. This is not democracy in action.  This is an authoritarian government in waiting that is trying to do this.

I'm not sure of what we can do next.  Strangely enough, I would take (the lunatic) Marjorie Taylor Greene's suggestion that we have a Red and Blue State divorce, and run with it a little. I'd suggest something a little bit more dangerous to the Red States: a requirement that the US Federal Government spend no more than 5% more or less in every state than it collects in tax revenue.  Since the Blue States contribute more to the government in tax revenues than they receive, this would be a net benefit to these states.  We could also set a federal minimum level for social spending in every state as a requirement for new federal projects to be placed in the Red States.  This would slow down the "Brain Drain" from Blue to Red states, caused by the poor education standards (as a whole) in those states. 

In my opinion, what we're seeing are the things that happen when there is a great difference in living standards between the rich and poor in a society.  Like the people of Brazil, America's people fell out of love with democracy and elected a bombastic and ineffective leader as it moved to the right, and then moved to the left as a backlash against the right.  Until we can force government to do its job, people at the margins of society are at great risk, as we are the pawns in a larger game of power.  

So what can we do to change things?  As a species, we do not like rapid or radical change. Progress can only come slowly.  In the case of politics, our leaders are in a continual battle to be reelected, so that they can gain power.  Not solving  problems is their best way to have things to rally against, and get votes.  As the parties become more extreme, the more likely one will pick a minority group (Jews, Muslims, Homosexuals, Transgenders, Political Opponents, etc.) as demons to obliterate.  But the question remains: How do we enact simple, long term changes to fix this?  To me, the answer is amazingly simple - term limits for all politicians.  Years ago, a friend told me that death gives meaning to life.  Without death, we'd have no reason to finish anything.  The same goes for elected leadership.  If a leader knows that s/he has only a limited amount of time to achieve anything, they will focus on getting important things done.  By that subtle change alone, there will be no need for scapegoats, as politicians would only be judged by what they supported, and not what they opposed.

Yes, I am proposing a subtle change to nudge the system in a way that benefits us.  This prevents the opposition from labeling this in a derogatory fashion.  And, if we were to "grandfather" all currently serving officeholders from these same term limits, we might get the support needed to make an important change in the system whose effect could be seen in a single generation.

What do you think? 

Sunday, March 19, 2023

Co-Op Issues - a short post.

 


I am known to my co-op board of directors as both Mario and Marian.  This is not and will not be an issue for me with the co-op.  But there is something that annoys me quite a bit, and it's related to a personnel issue that we've been dealing with for a while.  Although I can't talk about this issue, I can say that it has caused me to write "nastygrams" which would have made my late wife proud.

My late wife was good at writing complaint letters to businesses.  I can still remember a letter she wrote to our (then) favorite Chinese Restaurant complaining of horrible service given by a waiter who ignored us for the entire meal.  Needless to say, the owner gave us a free meal and made sure that we didn't see that waiter again.

Lately, I have been developing a similar skill when doing my duties for the co-op.  We have a vendor whose performance is sub par, and I have been in contact with the owner to get things resolved to our satisfaction. (This is about all I can say about the issue, as it doesn't mention the vendor or the nature of the issue.)  This has been a good experience for me, as I have learned something about myself at the same time as I've learned things about others.

Hopefully, these issues will be resolved soon.  If not, I will continue with my letter writing and documenting the lack of progress on these issues as needed.

Saturday, March 18, 2023

Cruise shopping


This is an example of a cruise I want to take in the next 3 years.  It would give me an opportunity to both see my uncle, as well as being able to see a friend in Florida.  Its drawback is that I would need to travel as Mario for this trip, instead of traveling as Marian.  Unfortunately, the world is not yet safe enough for a transgender person who has not legally transitioned. Even with this headaches, I still like to travel - even if I have to travel as Mario.  

Right now, I am scheduled to take a California coastal cruise this summer, as well as a Bermuda cruise later this fall.  Next year, I am planning to take two cruises: a western Caribbean cruise out of Tampa, and a combined Norwegian Fjord/Iceland cruise out of Southampton.  If possible, I may figure out a way to take another cruise in the fall of next year.

Ideally, I will find a cruise which I can take in Marian mode.  It would be easy for RQS and I to do another Canada run.  But it would likely be a bit of a bore for me, as I've done this route at least 5 times. However, I could get into doing the California coast a few times, as the cruise I'm taking this summer goes to cities I'd like to know more.  And on this cruise, I could go as Marian (on future runs), as I would not be obligated to meet with my uncle in LA.

Friday, March 17, 2023

Doctors - a short post

 

Today was a boring day with only one theme that carried through the day - Doctors.  First, I had to check whether I needed to renew my CPAP prescription before buying a new CPAP machine. Next, I received a call from my internist's office asking me whether I would be able to change my appointment. And then, the daughter of the couple hosting game night was dressed in a plague doctor's uniform.  It seems like doctors in one form or another set the tone for the day.

- - - - - -

Being serious, I hardly thought of medical issues today.  Instead, I rested all day until it was time to prepare for game night.  Since I didn't get out of the house until 5 pm, it made sense for me to go to the local Shoprite to pick up something sweet to bring to game night and something substantial to eat tomorrow night.

I  ended up getting dressed twice tonight, as I wanted to wear something that didn't pinch me on my waist line.  The first pair of leggings I wore were too tight, so I switched into something more comfortable that I could wear while sitting down for a few hours.

When I made it to game night, I saw the host's daughter wearing the above plague doctor costume.  I had to take a picture and send it to a couple of my friends. After that, I chatted with the host for an hour and a half, as there were not enough people attending to start a second game.  It was the longest chat I've had with him for a while, and it was a serious chat about work, family, and other assorted things. Eventually, the first game broke up, and I was able to join in a second game  - which I won.  It was a nice way to end the day.

Thursday, March 16, 2023

Trivia Night - A short post

 

With the weather being what it has been of late, I wasn't in the mood to get up, go outside and do things. So, I took my time doing nothing all day until I was ready to get showered and dressed to go to trivia night with a meetup group.

Getting ready to go out normally wouldn't be a problem for me in either gender presentation.  Not knowing today's outside conditions made me think of how I wanted to dress, and whether it would be the way a cisgender female would dress.  And that's where my trouble began.  I wasn't going to wear a dress as a dress.  At most, I'd wear one as a tunic, and wear a pair of leggings underneath.  But I thought of an alternate outfit - a nice top and slacks combination.  So I pulled a nice top out of the closet and reached for what I thought was a pair of trousers.  AARGH!  These were leggings!  I couldn't wear them with the top I planned to wear.  As a result, I went back to my closet for the first tunic dress I could find.  At least, I looked put together, if a little bit drab.

Now that I was ready to go, it was off to Yorktown for trivia.  We had a small group, and we performed respectfully well after 5 rounds.  But we still lost.  And then it was time to go home for the night.  As much as I'd like to get together with the meetup group more often, I enjoy getting together with RQS more often. 


Wednesday, March 15, 2023

The first snow day in New York

 

We knew that it was going to snow today.  The question was: How Much?  And we found out by noon.  I went out to my car to find 5 inches of the white stuff coating my car, and knew that I had to get it out of the way for the snow plow to do its thing.  In short, the weather dictated my gender presentation for the day, and I don't expect that I'll be going out as Marian until Thursday.

- - - - - -

Once I brushed off my car and went to the deli for lunch, I returned home to find a parking spot that had been plowed out - but with two cars next to me that prevented a side of my spot from being cleared.  This will not be much of a problem for me over the next few days, but could become a problem if we have another snowstorm towards the end of the week.

 

When I got to my apartment, I found the "mystery dress" I ordered from Universal Standard.  The color shipped is a "Rose Clay", something a little too soft for my taste.  (I wish I could have gotten this dress in the color the woman is wearing in the above photo.) Yet, I think I'll get some value out of it this summer, as the fabric feels like one is wearing nothing at all.

Later on, RQS sent me a text.  She will be having her taxes done by Fran.  She (RQS) was getting her pronouns mixed up, as she was responding to Fran's masculine voice.  It'll be interesting to see how Fran measures up to RQS's standards.  Hopefully, I'll have referred her to a good accountant.

For the most part, it was a day to stay inside and do nothing - and that I did....

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

This was the first weekend in a while that I spent fully as Marian

 


This weekend, RQS came up to my place, knowing that I'd be in Marian mode all weekend.  I was having lunch with a friend from the imaging/indexing firm I once worked with, and then would be spending Sunday evening with friends from my game night group to enjoy some comedy.  If I had still been with XGFJ, this would have been impossible. But I am with RQS, and am very grateful to be sharing much of my life with her....

- - - - - -

When I woke up on Friday, I knew that I had a 12:30 lunch appointment with my friend (noted in a prior post).  Since I didn't want to change back into Mario for the evening, I let RQS know who to expect at the train station.  She arrived on the 5:00 train, and we proceeded to Trader Joe's to do some shopping before going home for the evening.

Saturday came, and we started off the day very slowly. But we had a goal - stopping off at Home Goods and then Ikea in Paramus.  So we got on the road by 4:00, and took Jersey side roads to reach Route 17 North of the store.  Arriving at the store, RQS went a little nuts (an over exaggeration) buying things for her place, while I bought a small handful of things I know I'll be using in the near future - such as a 3 prong blind cleaner that I picked up for under $4.00.  Then, it was off to Ikea, where I found a small "baking" (?) pan I could use in my toaster oven.  I spent more in gas and tolls than I did at the 2 stores. It was a good excuse to get out of the house, and allowed the 2 of us to do something we don't get the chance to do at her place.

But Sunday was the big day of the weekend.  We were meeting friends from the Yonkers Game Night Group to go to dinner and watch some comedy.  Although the comedians weren't that great, we enjoyed a nice night out with friends who know me as Trans, but treat me as a "normal" person.  I think they are glad that RQS is in my life, and I hope that she can be with me occasionally on one of our bi-monthly game nights.

I ended up doing nothing until dinner

  I didn't have much to do today, so I stayed inside until dinner time.  And then, it was time to get off my rump and do something.... -...