Can a T-Girl have too many dresses?

 

I had a hard time making a choice the other day.  J.C.Penney had the above dresses on sale for $15/ea.  Given the quality I usually find in the dresses they sell, I figure that it was worth the gamble to have 2 more summer dresses.  Yet, both are similar to dresses I already own: the first one by its pattern, and the second one by its color.  But I will be able to wear both of them now, and when I take a cruise to the Bahamas later on this year.

Even though I purchased the first two dresses,  I'm planning on buying the above dress when it eventually goes on sale.  I already own the same dress in a different pattern, and want to get it in this pattern as well.  Then, I will be done with summer shopping, and ready to fill out my winter wardrobe.

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I figure that I'll soon be moving dresses into storage bins dedicated for summer storage, and out of ones dedicated for winter storage.  Hopefully, I won't misplace dresses I have grown to love, like I did the dress from Catherine's above.  This time, when I put the above dress away for the season, I will be sure to remember where I put it.

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But what does this mean for the other dresses in my closet?

Well, I expect that I will do some more pruning over the next few weeks, and make some more donation bag contributions to charity.  Have I spent way too much money on dresses?  Yes.  But the question still remains: Can a T-Girl have too many dresses in her wardrobe?

Forgetfulness

Retirement has done a lot to my memories for things on my schedule.  Unless something is very important to me, I seem to be retaining less and less of "trivial" matters.  For example, the president of my co-op was going in for surgery.  Although I remembered this fact, what she was going in to the hospital for completely slipped out of my mind.  As soon as it came up in conversation, the memory was easy to retrieve.  Yet, I'm bothered by this age related change in affairs.

In the past, I had a photographic memory.  I could read a computer program, and then identify a single one of the hundreds of pages of code where the bug was likely to be found.  Today, I can not absorb as much knowledge as I did in my 20's.  To make things worse, without a regular routine, I am more likely to forget semi-regularly scheduled events for which I've committed myself.  And I have been very embarassed when this has happened.

The other day, I went in for a periodic doctor's appointment, and mentioned that the one thing I am afraid of most is memory loss.  My grandmother (on my father's side) had dementia, and my aunt (not a blood relative) suffers from a form of dementia as well.  I don't think that my doctor really understands my fears in this area, as I have no one to take care of my affairs when I am unable to do so, as I don't have children who'd have an interest in doing so.

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Today, I read a NY Times article about a family who shared a genetic mutation for Fronto-Temporal Dementia.(FTD). It's sad when one knows that they have a 50/50 chance of losing one's ability to take care of one's self, to lose family because of this ailment, and to be isolated from everything worthwhile in life. Even though this is a genetic disease, many in the family wanted to live in denial.  I might have wanted to do the same.  But then, who knows?

There are so many moral issues imposed by others in the names of their faiths that get in the way of preventing diseases caused by genetic traits.  What if we could isolate sperm and eggs carrying these mutations before conception, and prevent the mutations from being carried on to future generations?  Imagine what would happen if Sickle Cell, Tay-Sachs, Hemophilia, and other genetic carried diseases were preventable.  Yet, organizations such as the Catholic Church are against "Test Tube Babies". I certainly don't think that Louise Brown would be upset that her parents used IVF to conceive her, although I think there are quite a few priests who would consider her birth an abomination.  In the case of the family with the FTD mutation, IVF with implantation of FTD-Free embryos (or aborting the fetuses with the mutation) would eliminate this disease from their blood line.  Wouldn't this be more humane than the heartbreak and suffering that will occur when this mutation is passed on to future generations.

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So, I go back to myself....

I don't know what I will do if I am ever given a diagnosis of early stage dementia.  But I think I will try to be like the main characters in the movie "The Bucket List" and enjoy as many valuable experiences as I can while able to enjoy them.

Going for a long drive to meet a friend

 

I wouldn't drive the above car more than a couple of miles, and then at a very low speed.  That is the opposite of the driving I often need to do, as most of the people I know are at least an hour away from me. Today's drive was to meet a friend who lives over two hours away from me, at a mid point agreeable to both of us.

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RO and I have known each other for a while.  We first met on a date, but things didn't work out between us.  A few years later, we stumbled into each other again and became friends.  Since then, we get together now and then, and today was one of those meetings.  Although she knows me as Mario, she sees me more often as Marian, and that's the way I prefer to be when seeing her.

The restaurant that we used to go to is halfway between our houses.  Today, we decided to meet for lunch at Fuddrucker's, a hamburger joint whose chain has seen its better days.  My late wife and I always enjoyed going to the Fuddruckers in Yonkers.  Sadly, virtually all of the outlets near me closed many years ago, leaving a small number too many miles away for a casual lunch on my own.  But today was different.  Fudd's has an outlet in Parsippany, NJ, and that's where we met.

When I first encountered Fuddrucker's as a chain, their outlets focused on the display of the meat that would be served to the customer.  The place was wide open and well lit. You could see all of the spaces open to the customer upon entry, including condiments, fixings (onions, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.), and.beverage stations.  This outlet felt different.  It felt cramped, and the main seating area was separated from the entry area by a wall.  But the burgers were as good as I remembered.

RO talked about her most recent trip with her hubby, and having booked a new trip to the same area for next month.  I talked about my trips (past and upcoming), as well as my relationship with RQS.  By the time lunch was over, RO asked if I would introduce her to RQS, and I said "sure".

All too soon, we had to return home - and parted until next time.

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Someone in one of my meetup groups passed away - a quick post.

 

 
The other day, someone from one of my meetup groups passed away.  The only reason I know this is a weekend meetup being held to celebrate this man's life.

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I always felt it strange that this fellow wanted his picture taken with me when we attended the same FTF meetup.  Was he interested in dating me?  Who knows?  If I were interested in dating men, he might have been on my radar, as I'm told that he was a sweet person.  Luckily, I met RQS at the beginning of last year, and I didn't have to tell him that I wasn't available to date, nor did I have to reveal to him that I am trans.

Although I would have liked to be able to find out how he died and to attend his memorial, I have a higher priority in my life - RQS.  Assuming that I'm able to attend a mid-week meetup with this group, I will ask the leader about how he died, and whether it was expected.  Until then, I will accept that there are some things I am not meant to know right now - and leave it at that.

Having dinner with VW

 

Although the above looks nothing like the dinner I had tonight, it tasted as good as this dinner looks.  It's been forever since VW and I have gotten together, and it was nice to see her again after almost a year.

But first...

It's been forever since I've seen VW.  When it appeared that I had double booked dining dates with VW and TCL, I asked TCL to postpone things as it's harder to meet with VW than TCL.  Unfortunately, TCL and I have yet to find a good date where I can finally get together with her (as Mario).  So, I'll likely find a free weekday to meet TCL and have a long postponed "birthday dinner".

Back to VW and dinner...

The other day, I found a long missing dress safely stored inside a chest I plan to give away.  Given how much I love this dress, I was elated when I was able to show this dress to RQS - she thought it looked great on me when I dropped her off at the train station.  And I planned to wear it when I saw VW later on.

VW and I agreed to meet halfway between our two residences.  This meant that we'd meet somewhere in the Brewster vicinity, and I figured that I'd need 45 minutes to get there.  Around 5:30 pm, I put my dress back on, and drove to the restaurant to meet VW.   Just as I got to the restaurant, I got a call from VW - her GPS wasn't working, and needed directions to the restaurant.  Given that she took NY-22 most of the way, I gave her instructions on how to find the restaurant once in Brewster.

Since VW was going to be delayed for a few minutes, I decided to fill up my gas tank and fine tune the directions I gave her.  So, after I returned to the restaurant, I called her and told her how to complete her trip.  Shortly afterward, she arrived and we proceeded to order dinner. Although I won't discuss the topics VW brought up, I talked about RQS and our recent trip to California.  Soon, dinner came and we had a leisurely meal. Unfortunately, the service was even more leisurely to a fault.  It took forever for us to get our bill and to get our change.

Since we were the last people in the restaurant, we knew it was time to go home.  As we left the restaurant, I was reminded of why VW and I never made it as a couple - we both had the wrong baggage for us to be each other's match.  At least, we could be good friends....

RQS's cat stayed alive just long enough to see her one last time.

 

Cats.  Those who have them love them.  Those that don't often do not understand how these animals attach themselves to us, and how we bond to them.

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RQS 's cat has been ill for a while.  We didn't have a clue about what the problem was, but we knew that it was related to the cat being 18 years old.  Things started out with this cat not being able to control when it had bowel movements. Yet, after a visit to the vet, the cat seemed to be responding to medicine, and was regaining control - or, so we thought.

Recently, RQS had to put one of her cats to sleep.  It was both an emotional and financial decision, as this cat was "only" 13 years old.  When RQS was confronted by the knowledge of the treatments this cat would need, without any assurance that the cat would survive, RQS made the hard decision to put the cat to sleep.  As she said, it was her "husband's cat", a cat that never recovered from the death of RQS's husband. Putting her younger cat to sleep was a very emotional decision for RQS, and she knew that she would soon have to do the same for the older cat - "her cat", as she called it, as it attached itself to her when it was a kitten.  Sadly, today was that day.

This morning, I dropped RQS off at the train station, and she had an uneventful ride home.  Despite a very healthy appetite, the cat had been losing weight for a while.  However, she saw that this cat could not control its bodily functions any longer as she entered her apartment.  The cat was very weak.  So, off to the vet she went, and it was the day she feared.  "Her Cat" had to be put to sleep, and she was crying all the way home.

Chatting afterward, RQS sadly noted - "We won't have any scheduling problems anymore with our cruises."  To me, that's a sad byproduct of a heart wrenching loss....  Both of us would prefer to deal with the problems associated with this very lovable cat....

UPS fouled up, and now I will soon have 2 Dresses

 

A couple of days ago, I reported a delivery screw up regarding the above dress.  UPS and Lane Bryant reported this dress as being delivered.  However, it was not in my apartment's entryway, nor was it in front of my door. So I promptly called Lane Bryant to rectify the situation, and they sent me another dress without charge.  Yesterday, I received the above dress, and it looks better on me than it looks like in the picture.

Very early this morning, 1:30 am, as I've started writing this post, I receive a message from Lane Bryant - I will be getting a package delivered later today.  What could this be?  

Well....

I checked the timing of all my communications with Lane Bryant, UPS and the Post Office, and I think I know what happened:

1. Lane Bryant ships the package to me via UPS.
2. Two days ago, UPS and Lane Bryant say that the package was delivered to my door.
   (Lane Bryant is using UPS's tracking system to be notified of delivery, then sends me a message as well.)
3. I call Lane Bryant, and they issue a refund for the original shipment.  At this time, I place another order for the same dress at the same price as when I placed my original order.
4. Yesterday, a dress arrives at my door while I'm cleaning up the apartment.  (Dress #1)
   
5. After doing some shopping, I try on the dress and take the above photo.
6. The clock strikes midnight, and I get up to write my blog entry for the day.
7. At approximately 1:30, I see a message in my email from Lane Bryant - my package will arrive tomorrow.  (Dress #2)

From what I can tell, UPS decided to use the post office for last mile delivery.  Dress #1 was the dress that was reported as being delivered by both Lane Bryant and by UPS.  UPS reported delivery as complete when it wasn't.  Additionally, UPS reported the dress as having been left in the vestibule of my apartment.  So I had legitimate reason to believe that the package was not delivered to the right location.  The notification I just received probably refers to Dress #2.  This time, UPS does not look like it is involved with the delivery - the post office is handling the dress from first to last mile. 

At least, I can return one of the two dresses....