President's Day - a look back

 

In the picture above, we could literally look up to images of four great presidents carved into a mountain.  All of these men had major flaws.  Yet, we consider all of them important enough to commemorate in stone - something none of them would have asked for or wanted.  

Today, we have a malignant narcissist in the office of President.  Every chance he gets, he attends a sporting event for a photo-op, where he now gets booed more than he gets cheered.  At the Super Bowl, his minions arranged for an Air Force flyover.  One catch - the game was being held in a domed stadium. At the Daytona 500, he had the nerve to have "The Beast" do a lap around the course.  At least, Nascar fans skew more to the right, and he got some cheers.  I expect that his handlers will fine tune where he makes his next appearances, as they don't want to be subject to his anger if he realizes that he is not loved by all Americans.

What I find galling is that the Orange Snowflake's minions are trying to put him into the pantheon of great presidents.  One congresscritter has proposed making his birthday a national holiday.  None of the presidents on Mount Rushmore would have had the nerve to ask for that.  Even worse, another MAGA personality has suggested carving his face next to the other four presidents.  Although neither of these offensive things are likely to happen, it's galling that people would even propose this while the man is alive - before history has has a generation to judge this man's accomplishments.

The other day, a friend posted something to Facebook.  A MAGA troll responded to her with misinformation, and I had to get involved.  The troll cited the "Twittersphere" as a source for his "information" for his reply. He supplied me with a government posting taken out of context, and I replied with the context of that government posting.  He never said what could cause him to change his mind about the leader of his cult - he had drunk the Kool-Aid, and is beyond rescue.

I feel sad that America has come to this.  Hopefully, we'll see a change for the better soon. 

Weekends are good for resting

 

When RQS and I are together, we tend to relax more fully than usual.  I find that when I sleep when she's around, I end up noticing that I dream more often than not.  In short, I am getting the REM sleep that I need to recharge my batteries.  RQS seems to find it the same way when she's with me, as she seems to have vivid dreams when I'm with her.

Most of the time, we don't bother getting up until 11:00 am or later.  For the most part, it's because we have nothing pressing to do.  Yet, we tend to get everything done that needs doing.  For example, RQS arrived earlier than expected this past Thursday, and I didn't have the time to clean up enough before her arrival.  So, this is what we did on Saturday for a couple of hours - and it shows.  My dining table is less filled with clutter than it has been in years.

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Sunday came, and neither of us got moving until the morning was almost over.  But today, we lazed around until late afternoon, then went out for pizza.  Due to the recent weather, I decided to present as Mario today and take RQS out for dinner.  The drive to Pizza and Brew in Greenburgh was like driving through pea soup - there was almost no visibility, and RQS was concerned about driving conditions for the return trip.  The restaurant was empty when we arrived, and we had enough pizza for leftovers tomorrow.

Luckily, the return home was much easier than the drive to the restaurant.  The heavy fog had turned into rain, and we had greater visibility when we left the restaurant.  Both of us were glad, as I didn't want to deal with the fog.  On the way home, my brother called and talked about the washer/dryer installation scheduled for later in the week.  He was apologetic for the screwed up date, but I told him that I rescheduled lunch with my friend, "short Vicki".  (Vicki and I are tentatively rescheduled for later in the week.)

Soon enough, we were in for the night.  Assuming all goes right, tomorrow will be a day out as Marian.

Valentine's Day has come and gone.

The one reason RQS came up to my place this weekend was that I had made reservations at Hudson House Inn and Restaurant for a nice romantic dinner. This gave me the opportunity to finally wear a pretty dress from Lane Bryant that has been hanging on my door for several months. (My dress is in the same style as in the above photo, but in a nice violet color.)

If you recall, our original plans for Thanksgiving dinner were fouled up by RQS's hospital stay.  This time, we made sure that no problems would get in the way of a romantic dinner.  RQS came up the day before, and we made sure to have enough time to make it to Cold Spring with time to spare.

We made it to the restaurant on time, and proceeded to have a wonderful dinner starting with crab cakes, salmon with crab meat stuffing, and finished with an apple tart.  Both of us enjoyed people-watching there, as some people dressed to the nines for the evening, and others were very casual.  We were somewhere in the middle with our dresses, wearing outfits which would fit in a dressy environment, but could be dressed down as needed for other environments.

At home, we exchanged Valentine's day gifts.  I was very lucky that RQS's gift was delivered on time, as I didn't want to be empty handed when she gave me my gift.  It was a nice day, and a good start to the weekend.

It's amazing how many places a single credit card is used

 

A year and a half ago, I had my wallet stolen, and had to get replacements for all the cards I had in it.  This wasn't as much of a problem as it seemed, as I was lucky to have done everything right.  However, another card of mine was affected in a data breach, and I found that one of my auto-debits wouldn't work as expected.  Knowing that this would cause me a problem if I didn't resolve it quickly, I decided to get things fixed today, with a little more than a week to go until the next auto-debit.

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Last June, I signed up for a deal with Princess Promotions  where I would get "concierge service", a $3000 credit on my next cruise, $350 in hotel credits, and a 5 night premium hotel stay.  One problem.  This deal is not from Princess Cruises, but a sub par online travel agency using Princess' name and goodwill.  Given that I could get better deals for hotel stays from booking.com or orbitz.com, I realized that this deal wasn't so great and accepted that I would likely lose $500 in the deal.  What I didn't plan on is the credit card I used for payments would get compromised, and a new card number issued just before my last cruise.

Given that the next payment would be coming due soon, I tried to log on to see how I could change my payment method.  And no option was provided.  So now, I had to make a phone call to get this fixed, and I went through a gauntlet to get this done.  If it weren't for the fact that we were getting close to final payment date for my Alaska cruise, I would not have worried so much.  But now, this task is done, and I hope done properly.  Otherwise, I'll have to go through another gauntlet to get things fixed properly so that we can go on our cruise later this year.

- - - - - -

When the data breach occurred and my card got compromised, I had it connected to Uber, Lyft, Curb, EZ-Pass, OMNY, Metrocard, and other services.  I still don't have a complete list yet, but I'll stumble into them as new charges are made by these services.

It could be much worse....

I never used a debit card, and see where that got me.

 

As I've mentioned before, my brother and I own a rental property on Long Island.  After several years of renting the house to tenants, we made the decision to replace the washer and dryer as we refresh the place for our next set of tenants.  Today, I would have bought the above laundry set, save that the debit card for the joint account had expired.

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I was originally scheduled to meet RO for lunch today.  However, her sister is having health problems, and she must help her sister out in time of need.  But where did this leave me?  I now had a free day where I could order a washer/dryer combination and schedule delivery for a time convenient for me to be in Long Island.  So, I decided to get dressed as Mario and drive to Yonkers.

Once in Yonkers, I made sure to check whether there would be any problems with the card, as both ATM cards could be connected to both my personal and our joint account.  (I wanted 2 cards, so that my personal card would always link to my personal checking account, and that the "business" card would always link to the joint account.)  Well, when I went to the ATM, I found that the business card had expired.  Since I wasn't going to use my personal account for the transaction, I called my brother and told him about this glitch, and said that I'd send him the information about the washer/dryer that he now had to buy.

Since I no longer had to go into the appliance store, I figured that I'd go to the cell phone store and pick up some swag they were giving away.  Unlike past swag offers, they were not giving away this item at all of their stores.  I just got lucky and got mine at the store in Yonkers that was near the bank.  And then, I was on my way home for the night.

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Having arrived home, I rested for a while before opening the co-op board meeting.  It's now a pleasure to have meetings that last only 2 hours.  However, we still have a lot of problems to deal with, as we're still dealing with the fallout from our prior managing agent's mismanagement of things.  While on this zoom meeting, I received a message from DCD's ex girlfriend. (I'll call her NDC for now.)   His tumor has returned - bigger than ever.  So, I ended up chatting with her for an hour or so, and found out more details about his life.  His mom bailed out his car, but kicked him out of the house.  Now, he mostly lives out of his car, going to his ex's house to wash and clean up.  This has put some stress into her relationship with her current boyfriend.  She effectively has a grown up stray that needs taking care of, and she (with current boyfriend) have set boundaries for taking care of this stray.  Hopefully, when he goes into the hospital for his next surgery and for chemo, they will be stuck with the responsibility of finding a hospice for him to spend his final days.

While we're talking about DCD, I have to mention that NDC emailed DCD's mom to tell her about DCD's health concerns.  NDC feels that almost everyone in DCD's family orbit is a little F'd up to say the least.  His mom has a room which was prepared for her late husband to spend his final days, and won't let DCD stay there for his final days.  DCD's kids know that he's not long for this world, yet they won't renew contact with him.  (NDC has no idea of why DCD's kids hate him, but we think it's because of DCD's ex wife poisoning the well of affection between them.)  DCD's ex wife may have felt that she could have found a better man, and her resentment could have been the root cause of their divorce.  Strangely enough, DCD's ex was the only person in his current and former family to show an inkling of caring for each other.

When DCD dies, and I expect it to happen this year, I will attend the funeral (if I'm not on a cruise) in female presentation. NDC has only seen me as Marian, though she knows I'm transgender.  DCD's family will not remember me, much less realize anything is amiss.  It'll be a sad day, but it'll be the least I can do to pay my respects.

Why are some people afraid and repulsed by Transgenders?

 

Why are some people afraid and repulsed by Transgender folk?

 

The above question is something that has been on my mind as of late.  Could it be religion?  Could it be a lack of a strong definition of self identity?  Could it be fear of what others might think of us and do to us?  There are so many reasons, but I think it goes back to the urge to reproduce.

Reproduction is a major effort for most species.  In primate species, the male has it easy - impregnate the female and the absolute need for his existence has ended.  However for the female, her body undergoes changes to accommodate the dependent life within her and eventually expels that life.  But the female's role is not over, as she usually has to take care of her offspring until they are ready to reproduce themselves. In our species, we have evolved to have our males contribute to the effort of raising our offspring, providing an evolutionary protection the premature loss of a parent. (This will vary between cultures.)  I'll admit that this is an oversimplification of something all of us know all too well.  But I think it's the fear of wasting our chances to reproduce that is the root of the fear of transgender people.

The fear of transgenders comes from something people fear: we can break out of virtually all socially assigned roles if we want.  Gender is the first thing people ask about when a baby is born.  A humorous example of this is a joke from the movie Addams Family Values:

Family Members: "What is it?"

Gomez Addams: "It's an Addams!"

The beauty of this line is that the answer is perfectly correct.  But it is not what the questioner wanted to know.  

I believe that sexual preference, sexual identity, and external sexual characteristics are all forms of intersex conditions that are baked into the person while in the womb.  "Normally," the vast majority of people are born as, identify as, and prefer the genders which society would assign at birth.  Statistics show that the lesbian and gay population may be somewhere between 3%-5% of the population. Transgender adults are about 0.5% of the population, and the rest of intersex people are about 0.05% of the population.  Given that most people never have their genes analyzed, they never know whether they are among those who have male external genitalia but have XX chromosomes, or among those who have female genitalia but have XY chromosomes.  Let's not get into all of the potential intersex conditions here.  Simply put, science conflicts with cultural norms, and we're in the middle of a culture war against our will.

The recent edict from the Orange Snowflake looks to deny our existence.  Hopefully, most of my transgender readers have been able to file paperwork for federal government IDs long before the snowflake shut things down for most of us. But this is not just a problem that affects transgender people.  For example, I knew a cisgender female who was mistakenly identified as a male on a Tennessee driver's license.  If she had to fix this problem today, the snowflake's edict would make this impossible.

But what should one do if one is young and pre-op transgender?  My first recommendation would only work if one lived in a state which allows gender markers to be changed AND allows for amended birth certificates.  DO NOT GET FEDERAL ID UNTIL YOU HAVE CHANGED GENDER MARKERS ON ALL STATE IDS ON FILE.  For example, If you live in California, do not travel on aircraft, or travel outside the US until you have your gender marker updated on all documents you may need to file with the Feds.  If this can't be done in your state, get your name changed to one acceptable for males and females, then dress and present androgynously when applying for federal id. This way, you will likely be ignored (as you would want) when going through TSA checkpoints. But most important of all - don't be flashy.  Just blend in as much as possible until this reign of terror is over.

There is too much information on me that is available to the public.  Therefore, I can't go into hiding.  Instead, I can go stealth on my way out of the country.  Others don't have it this lucky, and might as well lead protests as long is prudent.  Remember, our borders will be protected against intrusions, and not against people leaving - for now.   

What happens when you can't leave for whatever reason?  What can you do?  As I see it, one will need to migrate to areas of the country where one can blend in with a crowd.  People in Northeastern and West Coast large cities tend to be more tolerant of people of different styles, as these regions have been hot spots for immigration for generations.  They have attracted the risk takers, people who are willing to live completely different lives than their pasts would ordain for them.  Yet, one will always need to be on the lookout for others who would cause them harm.  

I can't understand the hatred of transgenders anymore, as I have learned to accept people who are very different than I am as long as we both interact with each other respectfully and with compassion.  The other day, I heard Warren Buffett tell a story about people who survived the Holocaust.  He noted that his judgement of people is based on whether they would hide someone from being scooped up in a pogrom and be sent to their deaths.  A truly wealthy person would have many friends who would help him/her hide from danger.  Build up those friendships now, as you may need them in the future.

 

Now, we have proof that checks and balances no longer apply

 

This should be a short post.  As I write this, it is 3 weeks into the reign of the Orange Snowflake, and no one is stopping him.  If his party wouldn't do it, one might think that he'd listen to the courts.  But, as John Belushi might say: 

But Noooooooo!

This president is now ignoring the courts.  One can't say that this wasn't expected.  But not so soon.  The guardrails are off, and this country is heading into 4+ years of hell.  I can't say if Americans will rise up in revolt.  But I can say that ALL law abiding Americans should exercise their 2nd Amendment rights and form a "well regulated militia" (as mentioned in our constitution.  One never knows when one might need to use the powers of that right.

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Years ago, there was an uprising in the Warsaw ghetto.  Although it was short lived, and futile in one sense, the ghetto Jews kept the Nazis at bay for a good amount of time.  They practiced guerrilla warfare on their own turf.  This is the reason our founding fathers may have been thinking of when they wrote this amendment to our constitution - they didn't trust the government to act within the law, as they has just overthrown the rule of a malignant British despot.

Am I afraid?  Yes.  I never believed that our country could sit back and let someone like this take over. Sadly, we have history to tell us what could happen.  I hope that the "Pink Pistols" get a lot of new members soon, as I expect the LGB community will be next in the snowflake's crosshairs.