I understand why people feel overwhelmed these days

 

The above picture was taken at a meetup with a group who now has gatherings when I am not free to attend due to scheduling conflicts.  Trying to live life around other's schedules and needs gets exhausting for many, and it's easy to see how many people (like my brother) get overwhelmed by life.  And I got to thinking this morning about how retirement doesn't always free us from our responsibilities to others, and the sacrifices we make to fulfill those responsibilities.

In my case, I've had to make a trade-off - go to meetups, or have a relationship with RQS.  Which would you drop?  If you said RQS, I'd slap you from here to next Tuesday.  She's a keeper.  But this has me run the risk of not being able to travel while I'm able to do so, as her health seems to be on the wane.  Even with healthy eating, her body is betraying her.  Do you think I'd want to give up on travel if something more important would get in the way?

While we're on the subject of travel, most of my readers know that I have often traveled as a female who carries male id.  With the current administration in Washington, I'm not sure of how long I can do this.  All it takes is for some person wanting to impress his supervisors by excessive use of authority to hassle me, and everything could fall apart in my life.  I now have to think whether I should travel as a female for one upcoming cruise I plan to take.

Yet, my problems pale in comparison to others.  For example, my brother's car was totaled (through no negligence of his own - his car was stopped at a light when someone hit him), his job is both life draining and a time suck, his volunteer efforts take up time, he manages the family homestead that we rent out, and he returns to a home which is not a refuge for him. RQS has to manage two life threatening ailments that could both cripple her and cause her to have an early death.  Since both ailments run in both her blood lines, she is scared. And these are only two of the people close to me.  Many others have it much worse than this.

Turning on the TV or radio is no escape, as we are bombarded by the latest atrocities going on in the world.  The orange snowflake keeps trying to destroy the rule of law in the US, while his actions are destroying the security enjoyed by Americans that took generations to build up.  Yes, globalization without a good social safety net has resulted in a lot of broken lives.  But a return to a society where no social safety net exists would be even worse for us.  It's bad enough when one person loses a job.  But when entire states lose large percentages of their work forces due to social, environmental, and economic change, how can people cope?  It's hard to feed, clothe and house one's family if no jobs are available, much less even afford proper health care.  No wonder why many in the "Red States" live in fear of losing what little they have - they have always lived as serfs tied to the estates of nobility which never cared about their subjects.

 

If I were speaking to an audience of "Minorities" who complain about being victimized, I'd say 

Get over it!

This does not mean to ignore those things that drain your soul.  Instead, I want for people to conquer their problems and take control over what they can in their lives.  We can not control what life puts in our way.  But we can control how we react when we encounter these problems.  Yet, sometimes, taking charge may involve doing the unthinkable.  Years ago, the wife of a close friend was dying of the same type of cancer which claimed my wife's life.  When she could no longer swallow any food and was in constant untreatable pain, she had to make an impossible decision - do I choose life or do I choose death?  Many people would tell her to get doped up for the pain, and live the rest of her few remaining days in hospice without any quality of life.  Without children to care for and a husband who could live without her, she chose to end her life while it still had meaning for her.  (I was with her husband when this happened.)  I don't know if I could have done what she did.  But I hope I could do it, instead of wasting away in a hospital bed, burning money that I'd rather go to my heirs.

 

Please note that I first focused on the exception to my rule instead of the rule I apply to my life. I feel that it is my duty to try and conquer what problems life puts in front of me.  It's hard enough getting by these days.  And for my transgender friends who read this blog, I say: 

 Don't Give Up!  

This too shall pass.

Some people may have to bear a heavier load in life than others.  But you don't have to break under the pressure.  Try to set limits.  Ration your media consumption.  Avoid "Friends" who are "Debbie Downers".  Find people and places which recharge your batteries when you are around them.  Even if you can't limit your responsibility to a ailing relative or friend, you must find time to nurture yourself. Just keep looking for hope, and you shall find it.

 

 

I have my new bed!

 

Bed, n. - A platform on which to sleep, have sex, read books, or watch TV.  Which do you think I do most?  I'll give you a clue - I'm coming close to watching all 270 episodes of the original Perry Mason series.

Why do I start off with the definition of a bed?  Well, I had to get up early, so that I could shower and get dressed as Mario for the delivery.  However, I did all the shaving that I knew I'd need to do to switch into Marian mode after they left.  This meant that I was up and showered by 8 am, eating breakfast by 9, and resting on my sofa until noon.

Shortly after noon, I received a text saying that the deliverymen would be here in 15 minutes.  So I made myself presentable and walked downstairs to greet the men.  A few minutes later, they were removing my old mattress and bed spring, and assembling the adjustable base on which the new mattress would sit.  A few minutes later, they brought the new mattress in and made sure that everything was working before they left.

Now, I have the same bed and mattress as RQS.  I think that the people who delivered her bed rushed through the job, as they did not attach the "footer bracket" to the bed frame.  As a result, her mattress keeps sliding to the foot board of her bed.  (I might be able to take care of this issue when I visit her this weekend.) Luckily, I noticed that the bracket was properly attached to my bed frame, and I expect no future problems with my mattress.

- - - - - -

With the delivery being done,  I made a call to my doctor's office to arrange for next month's appointment, and then I rested a bit before changing into Marian mode to go to the movies with DS to see The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie.  But, before I would get to the movie theater, I decided to buy a new printer - I do not intend to spend twice the price for ink as I need to simply because HP is now software blocking the use of re-manufactured ink cartridges.  This meant that I'd be running down to Micro Center in Yonkers, and then going back Northeast to Mamaroneck.

It felt strange to use my credit card with Mario's name while presenting as Marian.  But I wanted the printer, and no one gives much of a damn about how I present.  Before getting on the road again, I tried to reach my tax lady - to no avail.  So, I figured that I'd check with RQS on how to reach the tax lady, and send an email later in the evening.

My next stop was at Costco, where I bought another pillow.  Now, I have 4 new pillows, and have a completely new bed, pillows and bed linens. Finally, I made it to Mamaroneck, finding a parking spot without problems.  Then, I bought my ticket and found DS inside a darkened theater. As much as I am a fan of the old Warner Brothers' cartoons, there is no way a modern film can have the charm of the old films.  Yet, I enjoyed spending 90 minutes to watch this piece of fluff. Hopefully, we can do this again.

On the way home, I called RQS.  Some of the tests her doctors have ordered have delivered bad news.  This may get in the way of travel, if she can't get things under control AND stop the progression of a genetic weakness.  AARGH!  I'll be there for her.  But I'd like to have more of the good times with her, before things change for the worse.

At least, RQS will be able to get a comfortable sleep in my apartment when she's here next.

April is no fool's joke this year!

 

Normally, I'd like to be pulling an April Fool's prank on my readers.  But this year, it's not a joking matter.  As I write this, the Orange Snowflake has openly stepped over the line, and attempted to take on powers not granted to his office by the constitution.  As of now, we are likely not a land where the rule of law checks and balances the power of a wanna-be authoritarian leader.

Why do I say this?

As I write this entry, the snowflake has claimed the power to revoke ALL of a prior president's pardons. The big question is: what will anyone be able to do about this?  He has already asserted that the right to protest against our government's policies is illegal for legally resident aliens, and may result in deportation.  Yes, I despise what this protester supports.  But he has a right to advocate for a cause if he is legally here.

The snowflake does not care about constitutional limits, as he has the same thirst for power that his authoritarian friends in Russia and North Korea have.  But has he noticed anything about their economies?  Neither is generating maximum wealth for the people or its leaders.  These regimes extract and consume wealth from an economy without generating enough new wealth to replace it.  These regimes will eventually self destruct.  Does the snowflake want to do that to America?

Do we have grounds for hope?

Strangely enough, we still have grounds for hope.  Although GOP leaders know that even MAGAs are against the extreme policies of this administration, they have not cracked under pressure.  But they will. They can't run away from their constituents forever, nor can they ignore the wishes of their big corporate donors.  Businesses do best during stable times, not when things are in flux.  Sadly, things are in a great state of flux today.

Hope can be found in ways to pressure the GOP leadership to change its tune.  Emails, written snail mail, and phone calls can be effective tools in getting one's voice heard.  One needs to know ALL email addresses, snail mail addresses, and phone numbers where one's complaints can be sent - and these people will eventually get the message.

The chilling thought for all authoritarian leaders is that the public can mount a successful revolt against tyranny.  There are more guns than people in America.  Most of these guns are in the "Red States".  And when MAGA people start seeing that the snowflake and GOP have betrayed them, watch out!  I expect that we run the risk of another "French Style" revolution which attacks the elite.  Hopefully, revolt will take place via the ballot box, and not with lead.  But as Fats Waller once said: "One never knows, do one."

Parting is such sweet sorrow

 

So many odds and ends for people to catch up on, and I'm in the middle of many of them.

Let me explain.... 

I've been there for RQS through 2 emergency room visits, and forced diet changes caused by her ailments.  This is not a problem for me, as I need to have less ultra-processed food in my diet.  However, it may crimp our style when we choose places to eat for our once (or more) per week nights out.  In many ways, this will be a good thing, as I will need to clean much of the crap out of my cupboard, replacing it with healthy foods.

Before leaving RQS today, we decided on a place where we will have her birthday dinner.  It's a nice restaurant where we've held two of our co-op board's yearly dinners.  Since it will be the first weekend of Hudson Valley Restaurant week, I figured that we could have a nice dinner for a little less than I'd normally pay for such a dinner.

When I got home, I texted my brother to ask him how the house is coming along.  Well, we may have to make some hard decisions, so that we can rent the place out as soon as possible.  It looks like my brother's car got totaled by some idiot kid driving recklessly on a side street while my brother was patiently waiting for a light.  Given his workload, etc. I wasn't going to push him for information for my taxes.  However, he said that he should have things ready soon.  And I made arrangements to help him with work on the house next weekend - something I hate doing, but needs to be done.

I wish I could have stayed with RQS another day, but I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.  If I make the time AND get my bedroom cleaned up enough to have my bed delivered on Tuesday, I may decide to go into the city and see an old movie, completely recut and reedited with never seen footage - Caligula: The Ultimate Cut.  Will this end up being the final version of this production?  I doubt it.  Although this version has much of Bob Guccione's porn removed, it is still a flawed film.  Yet, I'll bet that someone will rework the film into something better than the the 2 versions that currently exist for sale.

A complete unknown

 

 

Last night, RQS and I went into Manhattan to watch "A Complete Unknown", the story of the early days of Bob Dylan's career.  Would I recommend this film?  YES!  The performer who plays Dylan gave an Oscar worthy performance.  

 

But first....

 

On Friday, I drove to RQS's house.  The drive took longer than expected due to the heavy traffic on the roads.  Instead of getting there by 3 pm, as I planned, I got into her neighborhood at 5, and couldn't find a parking spot to save my life.  After 20 minutes of searching, I had to leave her neighborhood to find a Mickey D's for a bio break.  And it was there I had unusual GI-Tract problems.  (I won't go into any details here, save that I could have been extremely embarrassed had I not found a rest room.)  Once done with Mickey D's, I drove back to RQS's place where it took me 15 more minutes to find an available parking spot - literally around the corner from her house.  From there, it was a short walk to her apartment, and a chance to truly freshen up for the night.  

Saturday came, and my stomach was a bit iffy.  We took it easy during the day, and after a dinner of leftovers, left for the movies.  (I still wasn't sure about my stomach, but my GI-Tract was relatively empty.  So it was worth the risk of being on the subway for 45 minutes.)  We arrived at the theater around 7:30, and proceeded to buy our tickets, bottled waters, and a package of milk duds.  It's hard to believe that with senior pricing, we paid $16 for 2 movie tickets, and $10 for 2 bottles of water and our candy. And then, we went upstairs to the small theater.  (It's hard to believe that a night at the movies could be this cheap - especially in Manhattan!)

 

8:00 came, and the lights dimmed.  I knew the story about Dylan's transition from Acoustic Guitar based folk music to Electric Guitar based pop music, but the way the story was adapted kept me interested throughout the film.  RQS asked  me a few questions, and I noted that Dylan's girlfriend was named Stacy in the film, while she was named Suze in real life.  (I have a copy of Suze Rotolo's memoir, A Freewheelin' Time: A Memoir of Greenwich Village in the Sixties, about her time with the young Bob Dylan.) If you get the chance to watch this film, watch for the gaffe where they call the Stacy character Suze.  It's hard to believe how quickly time seemed to pass while watching the film.

 

Shortly after 10, we caught the train back to RQS's place for the night.  It may not have been the most exciting day, but it was a good one.

Cleaning out under my bed and an evening as Marian

 

By the time you read this, I will have my new bed delivered.  Now, I have to clean out the space under my mattress/bed spring, so that the adjusting mechanism for the new mattress can work unimpeded.  Starting this process opened up a lot of "might as wells" causing me to examine my feminine clothes closet for things I can give to charity. Although I know I will have my bedroom tidied up to some degree, it'll still be a semi-cluttered mess here. I figure that I'll complete the cleaning process on Monday afternoon, as I'll be spending the weekend at RQS's place. 

Around 4 pm, I started to get ready for dinner with Vicki.  We met at one of our go-to places and had a filling Japanese meal.  (The seafood soup for 2 is filling enough to be a complete dinner.)  In addition to the soup, we split a spicy tuna roll and a shrimp tempura main course.  Afterwards, I rushed down to Costco, so that I could get a second card with my Marian photo.  Although I got the card, I couldn't get it the way I wanted it - the first card associated with Mario and his image, and the second card associated with Marian and her image.  So I wonder what will happen if I go to Costco with Mario's card and Marian's image shows up.  We will find out soon....

On the way home, I tried to reach my brother.  But he wasn't answering his phone, nor could I leave him a message.  As much as I wanted to ask him about tax information, I deferred that question to ask about my grandmother's death certificate.  I'd like to finish the paperwork needed for dual citizenship and a second passport, and send it off before the end of the month.  Hopefully, I'll have the passport by the end of the year, so that I can get out of Dodge if the Orange Snowflake totally screws up this country.

A social day for Marian

 

This was a day where I knew I'd be spending the day as Marian.  So I made sure that I'd be wearing a comfortable dress when I went out for lunch (but not the dress above).  But I had one thing I wanted to do, but didn't for reasons I'll mention later.

My first appointment in my calendar was meeting with CCS, my friend from the census, for lunch. Since she exercises with a personal trainer on Wednesdays, we decided to have lunch after her session.  This meant that I'd be having a late lunch. The day's plan was to have me start moving around 11, and leave the house by 1:15 pm for lunch.  While I was getting dressed, I got a call from Vicki suggesting that we meet for lunch today.  So what did I do?  I scheduled dinner with Vicki for tomorrow, and had lunch with CCS today. 

I arrived at the Ossining pizzeria around 1:30, and found CCS already sitting in a booth.  Both of us ordered hearty meals with dessert, and I was stuffed by the end of our meal.  We caught each other up on the things happening in our lives, including RQS's visit to the ER, and CCS's family reunion during Passover in Atlantic City.  By 3:30, we were finishing lunch, and scheduled next month's get together before parting our ways.

Next, I was too tired to take care of one errand I had planned for the day - going to Costco and getting a membership card with Marian's image on it.  (I have one with Mario's face on it.)  So I went home, and went into a digesting sleep for a couple of hours.  

After I regained full consciousness, I prepared for a Zoom meeting with RQS and our Texas friends.  It was a good meeting, and everyone had something to say. At 9:45, I ended the meeting, and finally had a chance to rid my face of the makeup I was wearing for almost 10 hours....