Getting together with my brother to work on the family homestead

 

This is NOT my family homestead.  It is a house that a friend once lived in, and one that was rented out for a while before being sold.  And this will eventually be the fate of my family homestead when the time comes to sell it.  Right now, we're preparing it for our next tenant (whoever that may be).

- - - - - -

My brother expected me to be leaving RQS's house around 11.  I was already in his neighborhood by that time.  This would be important later on, as we'd be working all day on the house.

But first....

I met my brother around 11:15, and we were off to get breakfast.  After downing bagel sandwiches, we were off to Home Depot to get paint and other supplies we would need.  $400 later, we were out of the store and on our way back to the homestead to work in the basement.

Today's work would be messy.  My brother would be power washing the basement/foundation walls, and I'd be vacuuming up the mess with a wet/dry shop vac. For the next 6 hours, we worked non-stop on our tasks.  He'd spray the wall, chipping away at areas which would need patching and resealing, and I'd suck up all the liquid, getting up to empty the shop vac every few minutes.  Both of us were tired by the time 7 pm hit.  I had ruined my trousers beyond repair, but had a change of clothes available for the trip home.  So, I changed into clean clothes, and we went to the diner to chat and eat after a long day together.

My brother had been very thankful that I was there today, as he would never have been able to  have done this work by himself.  I was glad to be there, as it was the rare time I could make a contribution to work needed on the property.  And then, we started to chat about his life, his wife's problems, and his grown-up children.  This was an important chance for him to vent and to see that I'll be there for him as brothers should be.  (He doesn't know I'm TG yet.)

Soon, the day came to and an end, and I drove home after a long day out.....

Parting is such sweet sorrow

 

So many odds and ends for people to catch up on, and I'm in the middle of many of them.

Let me explain.... 

I've been there for RQS through 2 emergency room visits, and forced diet changes caused by her ailments.  This is not a problem for me, as I need to have less ultra-processed food in my diet.  However, it may crimp our style when we choose places to eat for our once (or more) per week nights out.  In many ways, this will be a good thing, as I will need to clean much of the crap out of my cupboard, replacing it with healthy foods.

Before leaving RQS today, we decided on a place where we will have her birthday dinner.  It's a nice restaurant where we've held two of our co-op board's yearly dinners.  Since it will be the first weekend of Hudson Valley Restaurant week, I figured that we could have a nice dinner for a little less than I'd normally pay for such a dinner.

When I got home, I texted my brother to ask him how the house is coming along.  Well, we may have to make some hard decisions, so that we can rent the place out as soon as possible.  It looks like my brother's car got totaled by some idiot kid driving recklessly on a side street while my brother was patiently waiting for a light.  Given his workload, etc. I wasn't going to push him for information for my taxes.  However, he said that he should have things ready soon.  And I made arrangements to help him with work on the house next weekend - something I hate doing, but needs to be done.

I wish I could have stayed with RQS another day, but I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.  If I make the time AND get my bedroom cleaned up enough to have my bed delivered on Tuesday, I may decide to go into the city and see an old movie, completely recut and reedited with never seen footage - Caligula: The Ultimate Cut.  Will this end up being the final version of this production?  I doubt it.  Although this version has much of Bob Guccione's porn removed, it is still a flawed film.  Yet, I'll bet that someone will rework the film into something better than the the 2 versions that currently exist for sale.

It's been a long weekend, and I'm almost glad it's over

 

I'll bet that RQS was feeling like this on her way home today.  On Friday, she had lost her cell phone, and we drove to Queens on Saturday to retrieve it.  Most of the remaining weekend was spent resting, recharging ourselves for the week ahead.

But why do I mention this?

My brother had a busier weekend than I did.  My nephew lives on the west coast, and my brother went out there for a competition my nephew participated in.  As expected, my nephew did well, and is preparing for the next step in his competitive career.  This meant that my brother didn't have the time to take care of paperwork I needed, nor did he have the time to recharge his batteries after an over-full week at work.  There was no way I was going to pester my brother for paperwork with the stuff he has going on in his life.  Instead, I made sure to talk about my nephew for 20 minutes before asking any questions such as: Did my brother have the chance to find my grandmother's death certificate? Of course, he also had an answer for my unasked question.  And we then proceeded to talk about priorities for the rental property we jointly own.

- - - - - -

When RQS finally made it home, she found something in her mailbox - jury duty pay.  Someone had pilfered the original check sent to her, so she had to file a claim for the money owed to her.  Now, she can afford to treat me to a fine dinner at l'Arca del Oro. (That's Mickey D's, for those who don't get the reference.)  She's in a better place than she was a week ago.  And now, I gave her a much more pleasant task than the doctors did last week - choosing a restaurant to go to for Hudson Valley Restaurant Week (HVRW).

Last night, I had a disagreement with my brother.

 

My brother and I had a stiff disagreement last night, and it got me to thinking that we should sell the rental property we jointly own.  He is overworked, over-tasked, and overwhelmed.  And all I was asking him to do was to take care of the financials for the property, so that I can get my taxes done by April 15th.  Today, he called to apologize for getting upset, and I gracefully accepted the apology.  (I won't tell him that he triggered my emotional walls to go up and prepare for the absolute worst to happen.)

- - - - - - 

We are in the process of getting the house ready for another rental.  Recently, we were told that we need a new hot water installed.  This will cost about $3,000 or so, excluding permits. When the permits were filed for, we encountered another problem - our dad had converted the house from oil to gas heat.  But the paperwork wasn't marked as complete in the town offices, and we have more headaches because of things that happened years ago.

 

The work was done, but it appears that the final inspection wasn't taken care of.  So, my brother is contacting the plumbing firm that took care of the boiler install years ago, and we hope to get this resolved without spending too much money.  Once this is done, the new permit for the hot water heater could be issued, and we could finally be done with some of the work that's needed for the house.

- - - - - -

Looking at work we need to take care of , I feel that we need to replace windows in the basement, followed by installing a half-bath in the basement.  This way, we can up the rent and recover what we put into the house this year.

Right now, I have the money in my bank accounts to fund the work on my own if needed.  But that's not how things work.  My brother has to find ways of financing his home maintenance as well as financing his share of this house's maintenance.  This makes me glad that I only have to worry about my co-op board responsibilities, leaving general financing issues to a party of others.

I'm glad that I never bought a townhouse or detached home....

 

 

 

 

Waiting for a washer/dryer set.

 

This was the day I dreaded - a morning rush to get RQS to her pottery class, followed by a lot of waiting in a "cold" house for a washer and dryer to be delivered and installed.

- - - - - -

RQS and I set our alarms to get us up and moving at the ungodly hour (for us) of 8 am.  I was the first one in the shower, and I was ready to go out by 9 am.  However, we didn't need to be at the pottery studio until 10 am.  So that gave us 30 minutes to kill.

I was glad to be able to drive RQS to the studio - I'd have never found it on my own without Google Maps.  But I did take the slow route to Long Island afterwards, as I had a lot of time to kill.  When I arrived in my old neighborhood, I started shopping for a doorbell. Although I saw one in the local hardware store, the price wasn't as good as I wanted for an inexpensive piece of Chinese crap.  (I wanted something inexpensive, but didn't have a cheap look or feel to it.)  So, I'll bring up the idea with my brother that we should buy something a little bit better when the place is ready to be rented out.

Arriving at the old homestead at 11:30, I set things up and began my wait.  This was not going to be a day where being out as Marian would be practical, especially with the possibility that my brother may stop by if installation runs late.  Fortunately, we had a table and chair available for me, and I proceeded to make myself at home for a while.

 

The delivery truck came a little bit before 2 pm, and then the "fun" began.  It was interesting to see how 2 people could "comfortably" carry a washer and a dryer up and down steps without a hand truck, then install the appliances in the basement.  Within 30 minutes, everything was set up, and I was ready to go home.

Next, I'll have to find some time to be around when the hot water heater is installed....

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Debarkation Day (02/02/25)

 

Our ship was situated outside New York harbor until roughly 5 am, when the ship started to make port in Brooklyn and end our cruise. The above picture was taken from the ship's port side camera's TV feed.  It's far from the same view when taken from a balcony cabin.

- - - - - -

Neither RQS nor I got enough sleep overnight, and I was awake from 3 am onwards.  Around 7 am, we went to the main dining room for one last time for breakfast.  A lady at the table next to us was on the same cruise I was on for my first MSC cruise, and had similar opinions as I did regarding that cruise. Luckily for us, this cruise was much better all around - the food was better and the entertainment was better.  Yet, service was still hit or miss. Our conversation turned to the day's politics, and people at the table next to her joined in - none of us liked what the Orange Snowflake was doing in DC.

Once breakfast was over, we killed time waiting for our disembarkation group to be called.  Our number was called shortly before 9:30 am, and we proceeded to pick up our luggage and kill time inside the terminal, avoiding having to spend excess time in the cold waiting for a ferry that would take us to Atlantic avenue where we'd summon an Uber.  I noticed that staff was allowing handicapped people to take a shortcut and bypass the snaking line leading to the Customs/Immigration stations on our way out of the building.  So I told RQS to take out her cane, and we saved 15 minutes which we'd spend waiting for the ferry. The ferry came at 10:35, and we were at Atlantic avenue by 11 am, and the Uber got us back to RQS's place by 11:30 am.  However, I would still have to wait before I could go home - my brother couldn't pick me up until 4 pm.  So, I rested a while, and my brother arrived when expected.  

We were at the family homestead 30 minutes later, and we discussed what was needed to bring the house up to snuff for rental.  In addition to absolutely needed repairs, we may end up adding a half bath in the basement to increase the rent we can charge. Then, finally, I loaded my bags into my car and drove home.  With a stop for dinner and some food shopping factored in, it didn't take me long to get home.  Finally, I can sleep in my own bed again!

Lunch and Dinner, or: Where are the police when you need them?

 

I had two things on the docket for today.  But the thing of most interest today was an accident that almost happened.

- - - - -

I woke up around 9 am, not having much sleep last night.  So I took my time getting ready to go out to see Vicki for a late lunch.  But first, I had to shovel out the snow around my car.  That involved getting dressed as Mario, clearing the show off the car, and shoveling a clear path to the plowed section of the driveway.  Luckily, the snow wasn't too heavy, and I was able to get this done in 20 minutes.

After a brief stop for breakfast, I went home to shower and get dressed as Marian.  And then, it was off to Mt. Kisco to meet Vicki for lunch.  Arriving at the restaurant, I found that the meters weren't working today, as it was a Federal holiday.  Even though I was glad to see Vicki, I really wasn't in the mood to talk politics, as there's nothing we could do to avoid the upcoming 4 year disaster.

Once done with lunch, I drove over to Route 684, and was about to make a "California Stop" at the light for a right turn on red, so that I could get on the highway.  There was a police car to my left and an idiot that sped up along the shoulder and almost hit me as I was starting to make a right turn onto the highway.  (If I had started movement to the entrance ramp even 1 second earlier, my car would have been totaled.)  As I made my turn, the police car turned across traffic, sped past me, then pulled the idiot over before he got on the highway.  Boy, was I relieved!  The idiot was about to get what he rightly deserved - a very expensive ticket!

Next, I killed time at Starbucks before going to the meetup for dinner. Unfortunately, most of the people who reserved a place at dinner bailed without notice, and only 3 of us were there for dinner.  By the time I finished my cheeseburger, I was stuffed.  I couldn't eat another bite. 

On the way home, my brother and I chatted about the house we rent out.  Now that the tenants are gone, there are some improvements we may make.  Will it cost money?  Yes.  But we should recoup our money relatively quickly.  And then he got to talking about what should happen when my sister in law passes (hopefully, she will go first).  It makes sense for him to sell his homestead at that time due to the $500k tax exclusion he'd have that year, then take some of his capital gains to buy me out.  He'd live in the family homestead for a few years, and then repeat the process to get more tax free money out of his home equity.  

It was a good day.  But it certainly didn't go as I expected. 

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Sadly, the Orange Snowflake has been inaugurated, and he has already made some anti-transgender statements.  Hopefully, my readers who have needed to get their gender marker on their personal IDs updated, have already done so before today.  I think it will be at least 4 years before people will be able to do this for Federally issued documents again.

Dealing with legal issues.

 

When my father died, my brother and I gained control of the family homestead.  We were lucky that my dad protected the house from claims from his creditors by giving the house to his 2 offspring, but retaining a life interest in the property.  In the years since my dad moved into the nursing home (and after he died), we have been trying to get around to seeing a lawyer to protect our interests in the property, so that it can be passed on to our heirs.

Recently, my brother and I finally got around to seeing the first of 2 lawyers to get proposals in how best to protect the property.  The first method we received is based on a constructive use of Trusts and an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation). We expect that the second law firm we visit will propose a similar approach.  Although my brother can set up a LLC (he does this quite often in his line of work), we agreed that if a LLC were to be set up for us, it should be done by external counsel.  This way, we won't be the ones to possibly screw things up if we have problems.

Admittedly, this is what people do when they have something valuable to protect and enough money to protect it.  I am very thankful that my parents raised us well, and that both of us have the resources and skills to provide for the rest of our lives. If anything, this is better than most gifts I could have received in life....