Getting out and about

 

Now that the sun is going down much later in the day, it has become much easier for me to get out and about.  It is warm enough outside for me to go out in the dresses I love to wear, as well as meet friends I haven't seen in a while. Soon, I will  be saying that I have nothing to wear when I have a closet filled with clothes. 

I'm extremely lucky that RQS accepts the fact that I often dress as a female.  She has said that after years of not being able to be her cisgender feminine self, being with me has catalyzed something in her to be feminine again.  (My words, not hers.)  And this is a very good thing for both of us.

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Tonight, I was able to have a zoom meeting with my two friends from Texas, and it appears that I may have been misreading one of them so far.  I won't go into any details, save that I wasn't sure of what was really happening.  Now, I have a better idea, and it looks like we'll all be having a great time in the short time we have together.

While we're talking about our Chicago trip, I have to mention airline schedules.  My friends will be leaving Chicago on an early morning trip. And that means one of them will be unable to take care of some business while in town.  (I hope that's cryptic enough, save for my friends and their privacy.) If this trip goes well, it would be nice to make this type of trip a regular yearly occurrence. 

I'm thankful to have RQS in my life

 

My dining area hasn't looked like this in a while.  It now looks worse, but is getting better - with the help of RQS.  When we started cleaning up my apartment, things were much worse.  This table had become a dumping ground for things I hadn't gotten around to sorting out.  Now, with another hour or two of clean-up work, my table will look like it's ready for dinner.  And that's a miracle!

In the past 2 ½ years, this table has gone between clean enough for a cleaning lady to work on to a mess that would scare her away from the apartment.  And when we're done here, I start things with the cleaning lady, then start work on RQS's place.  She has even more stuff to prune than I did.  And it will be just as challenging task for her as my cleanup was for me.

As I've said in previous posts, I find it amazing how well we get along together.  I never dreamed that I would find someone comfortable with my transgender nature - and I found that person.  This is something I am very thankful for at this time of year....

Getting our nails done

 

Today was reserved for a RQS and I to get a Mani-Pedi together, and then to drive her to her home to Queens.  We didn't get moving until mid day, and this didn't cause us any problems.

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After a filling brunch, we decided to go to the nail salon.  This week, I decided to take RQS to a new salon, where RQS was more than happy with the work they did on her fingers and toes.  When something was slightly off, the nail technician (what do you call these ladies?) noticed it, and fixed it without us having to bring it to her attention.  (She wants to go to this salon again soon.)  As we exited, RQS suggested that we go to Carvel - and I opened up the door to Carvel after walking less than 10 feet from the nail salon.  (She didn't know that there was a Carvel next door to the nail salon, and was pleasantly surprised by this coincidence.)

Once we were done with our ice cream, it was time to pick up her stuff and drive her home.  I told her that this would be my last trip to Long Island for a couple of weeks, as traffic will be screwed up on the roads I use to get to her apartment due to the US Open and a NY Mets home stand.. I warned her that if I couldn't find a spot near to her apartment, I would have to drop her off and see her next weekend.  But we were lucky - I found a spot less than a block away.  So we carried her stuff upstairs then went out for a quick bite to eat.

When we were done with dinner, we went back to RQS's place, where we got to cuddle.  At this point I found out a few good things about how things have been going from her perspective, and that she was  more than comfortable with me in both Mario and Marian presentations.  (She has come to enjoy being with me in Marian mode, as she can share even more things with me than she'd expect from a typical boyfriend.)

All too soon, I had to leave.  But I am feeling very good right now....

Sometimes, I skip a night or two...

 

Last week, I skipped going to game night because the host and hostess had just gotten over a mild case of Covid-19.  I didn't think much of it then, but I decided to skip this week because I was feeling very down and would be a poor guest.  (I'm not ready to talk about why yet.)  But I will miss seeing the gang until next month....

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One of the things I like about going to game night is that I am with a group of people who accept me as Marian.  This is important to me, as I enjoy being with people who enjoy having me around.  Throughout my life, I have always felt like I am the odd person out, and it's nice to know I'm welcome with this one group.

By the time I see this group next month, a lot of things will have changed in my life.  Hopefully, I'll have much more good news than sad to report....

A night at the prom

 

 

 

As you can see, I stand out from average sized women.  But I'm accepted in my presentation.  It's a nice feeling to know that one can be accepted for who she is inside.  But this may also be a reflection of my personality as Marian, as Vicki has noted that I am much more at home as Marian than I am being Mario.

 

I'd love to have two people no longer in my life to see the above picture taken at the FTF meetup group's 2021 Prom.  Even better, I'd have loved for one of them to be at this meetup.  No, it's not to impose Marian on this person.  Instead, it's to show this person that there is nothing to be embarrassed about in being with me. 

 

You'll notice that I am in the back of this picture of the women from the FTF meetup group.  The caption on the website labels us the women of the prom, plus one photo bomber.  At one time later on, several of the women got me up and dancing.  Even more fun, one fellow took me to dance with him shortly after this picture was taken.  (No, my gender preference hasn't changed.  But it was fun to have a man treat me as a woman.)  

Although I didn't bother to correct this picture for the background light, you can easily see that my "friend" wanted another picture of me with him.  And I gladly complied.  There was one thought in the back of my mind that I made sure to not act on.  It would have been a fun picture to have taken with me kissing him by surprise.  But several bad things could have come of it, so I let this innocuous shot be taken.

It was a fun evening, and I hope to do this again next year.

An Anniversary - a quick note

 

It's hard to believe that today would have been my 36th wedding anniversary.  And I've been widowed for over twice as many years as we were married.  Do I miss my wife?  Yes.  There are only two other women who got that much of my heart, and both of those relationships were failures.

Would my wife have accepted this side of me?  Who knows?  But I can say that she accepted me wearing my feminine frills at home.  So there was a good chance that she might have accepted the Marian side of me as long as I presented myself well.

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It is acceptable in our society for a woman to present herself in a "masculine" way.  But it is generally not acceptable for a man to present himself in a "feminine" way.  For the life of me, I'll never understand this with the rational side of my mind.  But I can understand it with the more primitive side of my mind, as it has over 60 years of social programming to reinforce these views.  Hopefully, this will change for today's youth....

I finally got some work to do.

 

This was the third day in a row that I haven't slept well.  So if I didn't have my caffeine in the morning, I'd have fallen asleep while shadowing a more senior worker.  Luckily, I can have as much coffee as I want while on break or during lunch.  This means I can get as wired as I need to be to get through the day.

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It's nice to go into the office and be referred to as a "She".  Yes, there may be some people who shun me, but I haven't noticed that yet.  Instead, I showed a friendly appearance to my coworkers, and they have responded back in kind.  I still haven't decided if this is a place I want to stay at for the better part of a year.  But that's OK for now.   

My goal is to sock away enough money to pay for a Hawaiian cruise-tour on NCL sometime next winter.  Whether I go alone, or travel with a partner is not yet a material consideration for me.  YGM showed an interest in this cruise last year, and others may yet want to be a travel partner for this bucket list trip.  In the old days, my former travel partner would suggest a cruise to go on, and we'd plan things around that date.  Since we are no longer friends, the onus is on me to find a new travel partner for the bucket list trips.

Ideally, bucket list trips should be taken with a close friend or family member, as these are the trips one will want to talk about often.  When my wife died, I lost the one person who understood how I felt about San Francisco, as she was with me when I first visited the city.  Most of the trips I took with other women have been forgettable, as nothing much stood out about the places we traveled.  Yet, I can still remember a couple of the trips I took with my ex girlfriend from Rochester, simply because of the problems we encountered on our trips.  I'm glad that she's building memories with her partner of 22+ years, as they are doing the "until death do us part" routine without benefit of legal acknowledgement.

But I digress....

Today, I finally got some work to do after lunch.  And I was grateful to finally be doing some QA on scanned documents.  No, I can't tell you the names of the organizations we do business with. But I can say that they run the gamut of governmental entities, for profit businesses, and not for profit organizations.  Having meaningful work to do is a good thing, as it keeps my mind busy and awake.  (Now, if only I can stay asleep through the night....)

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Since tomorrow will be bringing a 6"-12" snowfall, I'm going to sign off for now and try to get some sleep.  More later....

The start of a new job

 

Today's post is going to be quick.  I decided to start at the new job, and people are accepting me as Marian.  Whether or not my boss knows that I am legally Mario is not going to be an issue, given some of the paperwork that they had me sign.  This will be the second job that I've had working as Marian, and this is a good start.  However, I'm not sure that I want to stay there for long, as it is forcing me to again get up at 6 am, so that I can be at work for an 8 hour day.

Am I up to working an 8 hour day?  I still think so.  But "do I want the headaches and boredom?" is another question for another day.   Right now, I think I'll go back to bed and try to catch some winks before I am rudely awakened by the alarm om my phone.

More news on this soon....