I was thinking of a topic for discussion

 

The weekend after Columbus day is when Fantasia Fair is usually scheduled.  I've only had the privilege to attend this gathering once, and I hope to be able to do so again one day.  The first time I attended, I was a newbie, and had much to learn.  Next time, I hope to be able to pass on some of my "wisdom" so that newcomers can have an easier time in their paths towards "transition".

You'll note that the word "transition" in the prior paragraph has been put in quotes.  Movement towards being your authentic self does not require a full medical or social transition.  Each person's path has its own stops along the way, and each person has his/her own unique goal which he/she wants to achieve.  In some cases, it is a full transition, where the body is shaped to better fit the person's image of what he/she wants to be.  In other cases, it is a partial transition, where many of the characteristics of the opposite sex are incorporated into that person's body, so that he/she feels complete.  And in still others, it is a temporary transition, where one can simply take on the role of the other sex for a while, and retreat to where he/she originally started.  This is a gross simplification, as it focuses only on body presentation and not all the other subtleties implied by the gender spectrum.

In my case, I would prefer to have a female body - with all that this entails.  Unlike most transgender people, my male body does not bother me.  It simply doesn't suit my purposes, save in one way which I won't go into right now.  I can live with what I have.  With other people, they will sacrifice everything to have the body that he/she wants in the gender that he/she needs to exist in.  Severe gender dysphoria is often treated with GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery), but it is often not available to many transgender people for a myriad of reasons, financial cost being one of them, but not the only one.  For many, the social and professional costs are prices too high for them to pay. 

The topic I'd like to discuss involves my experiences living in the world as Marian, and the costs I've had to pay to do so.  I'd also like to discuss the costs others have had to pay, and tell the audience that going in this direction is not for weaklings.  A person will be attacked from many directions by many people - most of them unexpected.  But the rewards are great - life as one's authentic self is very fulfilling, and worth all the costs involved in doing so.  Would something like this be a good topic for a Fantasia Fair presentation?  Maybe.  But first, I'd like to speak with someone I know who has done just that....

 

 

If I had known it would be rainy, I'd have made other plans.

I had reserved this day for a long postponed dinner with TCL.  Although she has been vaccinated and has had a booster shot, she's still a little reticent about dining indoors.  So, we ended up cancelling things for today.  

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If I had known that TCL would cancel our dinner, I'd have gotten up at a normal hour AND made it to NYC to see the Automania exhibit at MoMA.  This was not the case for today.  And I'll miss the chance to see the classic cars on display, one of which I've had the pleasure of driving (A VW Beetle.)  There will be other interesting exhibits on other future days, so I'm not crying too hard about this. I'm glad that I started to do a load of laundry before receiving TCL's call.  I can't complain about wasting a day when I found other things to do in place of my original plans.

 

Right now, I'm looking for a way that I can squeeze in a visit to one of the places on the list of OHNY's 10/16/21 - 10/17/21 open houses.  It is an interesting list, and well worth taking the tie out to see one of the architectural gems on the list - such as La Guardia Airport's Marine Air Terminal.  (By the time this is posted, this event will have ended.  So I hope that my readers get the chance to attend OHNY's event in 2022.

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When I look at my October calendar, I see that I am busy most of the month - especially on weekends. Recently, someone said that she was considering meeting me for coffee.  One problem.  If she had called, I was across the river dealing with issues -or- seeing the new James Bond film at the time.  Again, it was a case of not having enough hours in the day to do what I want be done.

Wasn't it Mickey Rooney who first said "Life is Short?"

 

 

It was a busy day. And yet, I forgot to do some things.

I had several things on the docket for today.  And yet, I slipped up on one of them....

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To start the day off, I had to go to Mavis to get my tire pressure sensors looked at; the TPMS warning kept going on and off for no reason at all.  Next was to get my Covid booster shot, and then I had to cross the river to talk to the cable company (again) about my bill payments.  In between all of this, I was supposed to call a potential girlfriend to chat for a while before going to see MWL for the evening.

The trip to Mavis went well.  As I expected, one of the 4 sensors was failing, and was replaced quickly. There was also a slow leak in one tire that got fixed at the same time.  So, $125 later, I was out the door and off to get my booster shot.  On the way to White Plains, I tried to call this potential girlfriend (let's call her CWS for now) but she wasn't able to answer the phone.  She said she'd be free after 3, and I could call her back then.

Getting the booster shot was easier than getting the original doses of the Pfizer vaccine.  When I went to the Yonkers vaccination site, I had to deal with a very short line before getting my arm stuck.  This time, I went to White Plains, and didn't have to wait at all.  It was strange to see the inside of the Westchester County Center space turned into a vaccination facility. But it was nice to find out that parking at their lot was free - something that would not have been the case before the pandemic. 

Unfortunately, I forgot to call CWS on my way to the one Cable Company Store open today - I'll try to call her tomorrow. But I got lucky with the cable company.  It seems as if my payment from mid/late September finally was posted.  But the extra payment I made was not posted.  So I'll have to see about that next week. While there, I decided to replace a pair of old, worn out remotes.  They are different from both of the old units I used in the past. Hopefully, they will last longer than the old ones.

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Now that I was free for the day, it was off to MWL's place.  We ended up going to see the new James Bond film.  I won't give away any secrets here.  But if Daniel Craig had to leave the franchise, this was a good story for his Bond to exit the scene.  For a film that is over 2 1/2 hours long, it didn't feel like this was so - the film moved at a reasonable pace towards its conclusion.

Once the film was over, we went to the diner for dinner, and then gabbed until midnight.  Since my coach does not turn into a pumpkin, I made a bee line to my apartment to finally get some rest....
 

 

 

I'm Tired!

"I'm Tired."  It's hard to believe that this song still makes me chuckle in the decades after "Blazing Saddles" was released.  It's tame enough that it could be played on broadcast TV.  Yet, the best gags are adult in nature.  

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If I weren't working a full time job, I'd be able to go to sleep late at night, and wake up when I feel rested.  This is not the case.  I have to be in at 8:00 am, and then make it look like I'm fully conscious until I leave for the day.  Today was a little worse than usual.  I had an interrupted sleep the night before, and I was finding it harder than usual to stay reasonably conscious.

When the day ended, I had to rush home to deal with a problem with my cable bill/payment, and rushed home to change before going to the cable store.  And even then, I couldn't get the problem resolved....  I may have made things worse by issuing a second payment on the account to bring it somewhat current, as the fellow at the store gave me an issue about this second payment.  

Payments: 

09/20 - $275 (not processed by cable)
10/04 - $300 (not processed by cable - I wasn't sure of exact amount and wanted to overpay.)
10/07 - $275 (processed by cable, not yet recorded at the bank.)

The first two payments were issued from my main bank's portal. The third was made from the cable company portal, drawn on a second bank.  

So now, I have to bring records from the 2 banks, plus a screen print from the cable company's site to the cable store to see what can be done.  This is going to be a big pain in the ass for me tomorrow, as I have to go to Mavis for car service, to a vaccination center for a Covid booster shot, and then to the cable store.  And after all of this, I go to see MWL!  

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Why do I mention MWL right now?  Tonight, we were far from the same wave length when I wanted to talk about this problem.  She wasn't trying to over analyze the problem as TCL does.  But she was being fatalistic in ways that bother me.  (I'm having a hard time trying to describe her "ethnic" style of communication, but it's a style that bothered me with Ex-GF-M.)  When I see her, I'll have to apologize for being a little testy when talking with her, as I was not in the best of moods....

 

It's good to hear from people....

 

Today, I received an email from my friend in Florida.  His messages make it appear as if he's recovering many of the mental processes which were damaged by his aneurysm. Hopefully, he'll be in shape to have a visitor sometime next year.

In his email, he reminded me of what happened 11 years ago to this week.  The two of us spent the evening together talking about many things, knowing that this evening would be the last time he would talk with his wife.  She was a good woman, but suffered with the same type of cancer that took my wife's life.  And I know that he misses the things that could have been had she lived.

Does he know that I'm trans?  No.  I won't tell him until I'm at that point where I want to give up on living as Mario forever.  Yet, I wish I could see him on my single day that I'll be in a Florida port.  Maybe on my next visit to that state....

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When I got home, I found out that the cable company didn't process a payment I made to them a couple of weeks ago.  So I spent the better part of an hour talking with someone with minimal result.  The person told me to send them my documentation of payment via fax (who uses faxes anymore?) and I said that I had no access to a fax machine.  Then the person said that I could go to one of their stores.  One problem - only one of them is open on a Saturday.  AARGH!   Luckily, I will be passing by the place on the way to see MWL that day.  Hopefully, they will be open after I'm done with car service at Mavis.

Still thinking of a bucket list cruise.

 

Two years ago, I could have gotten last minute deal on a balcony cabin for the above Thanksgiving time cruise for roughly $1,300 excluding taxes and port fees. (They dropped the single supplement a few days before sailing.  Otherwise, the cabin would have sold for $2,600.)  Today, a similar cruise would set me back roughly $8,000.  What's the difference?  Pent up demand for cruising combined with limited availability of cabins has made this cruise unaffordable for many. 

Two years ago, I posted an entry about cruises I considered taking.  Ships are not being repositioned in a way one can predict from year to year. In the past, you might find ships that did the West Coast Alaska run now doing a Mexico run.  Sometimes, ships would be repositioned through the Panama Canal, so that they can do a Caribbean run in the Winter.  (The reverse run would take place in the Spring, preparing for the yearly Alaska cruising season.)  Now, due to the pandemic, cruise lines are moving ships to regions where they can make the most money with limited capacity.  Before the pandemic, one could easily find cruises that did a full transit of the canal.  Today, many more ships do only a partial transit - and people seem happy with that.

When the time comes, I will make sure that I have a nice one piece bathing suit ready to go for a trip to the sun.  I can't wait to be at pool side on either a Hawaii or Panama Canal run.... 

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On other matters....

Casual readers of this blog will notice that I am not going to as many meetups as I used to in the past.  There are two reasons for this.  First is the problems I had last year.  The groups I was able to attend have either disbanded, or simply stopped meeting.  Second is that I'm simply too tired to go out for the sake of going out.     

When I look at my schedule, I find that I do not have enough hours in the day to keep up with the social demands on my life. There are people I want to keep up with that I haven't been able to do so.  They are available to meet, but not at times I am available - and vice versa.  

Dating is another wrinkle.  I'm getting tired of "swiping right" and then having conversations peter out before we get to a phone call stage or meeting for coffee.  No, I am not stretching things out too far.  I might be seen as a viable but 2nd/3rd choice candidate.  I have to find the time and energy to keep up my efforts in this area, but it's not that easy.

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All work and no play may be making Marian a very boring girl.  Before I took my current job, I could easily find the time to read books.  Today, I am way too tired to do this.  I can't remember the last time I borrowed a book from the library and finished it before it was past due.  I'm at the stage where I'm considering buying a few books, simply to have them available to read without having to wait for their availability via the library system.

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Luckily, my health hasn't failed me yet.  But I have to be careful, given my age and current risk factors....

 

 

All Circuits Are Busy

 

Tonight, I wanted to make a simple electronic to a vendor and ask some questions.  Unfortunately, each time I tried to place a call via my cell phone, I received a message instructing me to try placing the call later because all circuits were busy.  Luckily, I had more than one way to contact this vendor, and was able to reach him via the internet.

Over time, we have learned to place our faith in technology and assume that it will work for us when we need it.  This is not always the case.  Until Verizon was unable to deal with a strange noise on my landline, I was happy to continue using their "Twisted Pair" wiring to make landline phone calls.  Now, for a phone I rarely use anymore, I use a "Triple Play" service offered by my cable company. However, this phone is still the one way old time contacts know how to call me, so I keep it in service just to monitor the messages (mostly spam) left on the recorder.

For reasons that are no longer valid, I have two cell phones with two different numbers on two different networks.  When one network fails me, I can still make calls using the other phone.  Yes, it's a "Belt and Suspenders" approach, but it's one that may be needed as technology becomes more complex.

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Recently, I've been researching how to automate the monitoring of Cruise Prices, so that I can get the lowest possible price.  There are sites for airfares and hotel rooms that I've used in the past.  But none really do the job well for cruises.  I discussed this recently with a travel agent (the same one I couldn't reach in the first part of this entry), and he suggested that I book a cruise now to get the maximum fare I was willing to pay for a cruise, but then call to rebook at a lower price when the price eventually drops - his agency would help me get that fare if it was not a "new bookings only" price.  I will keep this in mind when planning my Hawaii cruise, as I don't want to spend more on a cruise than I would have spent before the pandemic hit.

There are three Hawaii cruises I discussed with this gentleman.  The first was the 10 day cruise tour offered by Norwegian. Second was an 18 day cruise out of San Diego on Holland American.  Third was a repositioning cruise from Norwegian that starts in Vancouver, heads up to Alaska, then ends in Hawaii.  (He was trying to get me to consider other options that would result in less Hawaii time.)  Right now, my heart is telling me to take the first cruise and pay what it takes to enjoy the cruise.  Yet, there is a side of me that wants to get the most bang per buck - something that may have frustrated my former cruise partner.  Now that I have to depend on my nest egg for living expenses, I have to use it wisely to avoid running out of money in old age.

When I eventually take my Hawaii cruise, I want to take it as Marian.  And I intend to have the money to do it in the right way....