Even though winter is almost over, it still seems very cold.

 

This is a view of Provincetown, MA that I've never seen in person - snow along Commercial Street.  Part of me would love to be there in the winter, when Summer's denizens have long been gone.  Yet, I'm glad I'm not there, as none of the things I love about the town are available without its Summer visitors.

- - - - - -

I've been in P'town during the other 3 seasons of the year, and love the vibe there.  This is when the artist community is in residence, and when one can enjoy the town to its fullest.  Years ago, I went there with my late wife, and stayed at a hotel at the far end of the main drag.  After she died, I stayed in the heart of town with Patty, my ex-girlfriend. And I've been there with other people close to my heart.

The only time I've been there towards the end of the season is when I once attended Fantasia Fair.  Even though I was there for only 3 days, I made some acquaintances I'm still in contact with to this day.

- - - - - -

Over the past few days, it was cold enough for some patches of snow to survive on the ground.  But it felt colder than that because of the wind chill.  If it were warmer, I'd have tried on some new tights from Sheertex to see how they feel.  Unfortunately, I will have to wait for a while - just like the people of P'town will need to wait for the tourists to come back.

Once the weather gets a little warmer, I will be back in dresses and enjoying the world outside.  I look forward to taking a day or two outside of peak season and take RQS there for a short stay.  Maybe she'll understand why I love this area - especially outside of peak season.

Nails

 

It's been a long while since I've gotten a mani-pedi.  And if things go the way I want this weekend, I will finally be able to do so.  All too often, I've had to deal with the headache of switching back to Mario Mode, and this prevented me from getting my nails done.

- - - - - -

The other day, I was talking with my new travel partner, and we got to talking about people we will meet on our next trip. My new partner wants to catch up with a cousin, while I want to catch up with a friend from Fantasia Fair.  When I contacted this friend, she said that she will appear in "Mermaid Mode".  I have no objections to that, as it will give my partner an idea of what has to be dealt with when being with me.  It's going to be interesting, to say the least.

Last week, FH suggested that we get together this weekend.  I never confirmed anything with her, and the way I feel, I'll be too tired to do much of anything.  After I came home from Game night, it took me an hour to fall asleep, and then I woke up twice - resulting in an interrupted sleep.  I woke up 30 minutes late, then rushed to do all my morning routines so that I could make it to work "on time".  Luckily, I was only a few minutes late, and I was able to stay awake enough to do my job.

Right now, I have weekend plans that haven't been confirmed.  Will I see FH?  I'm not sure.  Will I see CWS?  I hope so.  I'd like to see her now and then until I know what's going to happen with RQS.  Given my transgender nature, it pays to have a (non roached) backup....

I'm planning a trip

 

The other day, I decided NOT to take a 5 day cruise to Bermuda.  If all goes right and I have some spare cash, I may still book a cruise to New England & Canada later this year.  It'll be nice to have been able to take 3 cruises in less than a year.  But right now, It'll be even nicer to visit DC again.

If I remember my trips, the last time I traveled to DC, I was in Marian Mode when my car started to warn me that it wanted to break down.  I was lucky to make it to the hotel with my car still running, and even more lucky that I could change back to Mario before AAA came to check out my car and replace my battery.  This was not my favorite trip, as the weather was bad every day I was there that weekend.

Sometime in the near future, I will make another trip to DC.  This time, it will be in Mario Mode, as I'll have a friend with me that knows me only as Mario.  (This is not the time to spring Marian on my friend.) When we get there, my first place to visit will be the above building.  No, it's not because there is a lot of interesting things there.  Instead, it will be to pay my respects to a man who died more than a century before I was born, and who never set foot in America while he was alive.

After I visit this building, almost everything is open on my schedule.  I plan to reach out to someone I met at Fantasia Fair a while back, and see her and her wife while in Mario mode.  (I've seen her in Boy mode, so it shouldn't be a shock.)  As for my friend, we may go to a cousin's house for dinner.  Who knows?  But I think we will quickly book up an evening or two if everything goes right.  (Maybe I can try to squeeze in a 3rd night of dinner out with Meg and her wife?  That might be too much to ask..  But I will send a message....)

This will be the first time since childhood that I'll be in DC in male presentation.  Strange!!!!

I was thinking of a topic for discussion

 

The weekend after Columbus day is when Fantasia Fair is usually scheduled.  I've only had the privilege to attend this gathering once, and I hope to be able to do so again one day.  The first time I attended, I was a newbie, and had much to learn.  Next time, I hope to be able to pass on some of my "wisdom" so that newcomers can have an easier time in their paths towards "transition".

You'll note that the word "transition" in the prior paragraph has been put in quotes.  Movement towards being your authentic self does not require a full medical or social transition.  Each person's path has its own stops along the way, and each person has his/her own unique goal which he/she wants to achieve.  In some cases, it is a full transition, where the body is shaped to better fit the person's image of what he/she wants to be.  In other cases, it is a partial transition, where many of the characteristics of the opposite sex are incorporated into that person's body, so that he/she feels complete.  And in still others, it is a temporary transition, where one can simply take on the role of the other sex for a while, and retreat to where he/she originally started.  This is a gross simplification, as it focuses only on body presentation and not all the other subtleties implied by the gender spectrum.

In my case, I would prefer to have a female body - with all that this entails.  Unlike most transgender people, my male body does not bother me.  It simply doesn't suit my purposes, save in one way which I won't go into right now.  I can live with what I have.  With other people, they will sacrifice everything to have the body that he/she wants in the gender that he/she needs to exist in.  Severe gender dysphoria is often treated with GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery), but it is often not available to many transgender people for a myriad of reasons, financial cost being one of them, but not the only one.  For many, the social and professional costs are prices too high for them to pay. 

The topic I'd like to discuss involves my experiences living in the world as Marian, and the costs I've had to pay to do so.  I'd also like to discuss the costs others have had to pay, and tell the audience that going in this direction is not for weaklings.  A person will be attacked from many directions by many people - most of them unexpected.  But the rewards are great - life as one's authentic self is very fulfilling, and worth all the costs involved in doing so.  Would something like this be a good topic for a Fantasia Fair presentation?  Maybe.  But first, I'd like to speak with someone I know who has done just that....

 

 

It's hard to keep up with my friends and family, but....

 

Ever since I've been "post retirement" working, I'm finding it impossible to get together with many of the people I'd like to be with.  Last year, it was the pandemic.  This year, it's been work exhaustion.  What will it be next year?

What I find strange is that the older I get, the harder it is to meet with people.  Some of the people I know are dying off.  Some are moving away to retirement residences (in low tax states).  Then, some are taking care of others, and not able to get out to do things for themselves.  In short, everyone has a life, and we're all trying to make as productive use of our time as possible.

- - - - - -

Recently, I got together with FH after several weeks of looking for a time we could get together.  We had a nice day talking about life and catching up on things.  Of course, I wasn't going to screw up a day with MWL to spend a Saturday with her.  Vicki #2 is impossible to meet up with these days, as she has important family problems of her own that she's dealing with.  And I haven't seen my brother in what seems like ages.  We all have responsibilities that we have to manage, and I respect my family, friends, and acquaintances for doing just this.

The other day, I found out that a cruise I was thinking of taking was sold out. As a result, I realize that I now have an opportunity to see some people I haven't seen in years.  The first is a transwoman I know who has cancer.  I know her through a woman who once was a close friend.  If I see this transwoman, it will have to be soon, as I know what cancer can do to a person.  In better times, I'd offer a seat to this former friend on my trip. It's doubtful that the two of us could be civil long enough to visit my acquaintance - so I will not even suggest it. (Neither of us were pleased by our last communication, and I don't want a repeat of this incident.)  Since it doesn't make sense to gamble on being in this city just for the sake of visiting this acquaintance, I'll make sure that I'll visit the usual tourist spots and get together with someone I met on one of my cruises.  The second person I'd meet is a train buff who reads this blog.  It'd be nice to catch up with her in Baltimore when I finally get to visit the B&O Railroad museum.  If I was lucky on this part of the trip, I'd also get to meet a transwoman (and her wife) who I haven't seen since my only trip to Fantasia Fair.

- - - - - -

Several people I know have moved to Florida over the years.  I am not in a rush to go there.  But when I do, I will try to visit them.  Yet, assuming I do, I will need to make sure that my trans identity doesn't get in the way of doing things.  It'd be nice to see YGM again....

- - - - - -

Years ago, my wife and I went to the wedding of the daughter of my late uncle once removed.  (That is, my grandmother's brother's daughter, my cousin once removed.)  I don't remember much about that day, save that we didn't get to the church on time.  Since then, her dad, then her mom passed away.  My brother and I talked about going to visit her, but never did.  Hopefully, I will get the chance to see her soon.