Lots of clutter in 2 apartments

 

Both RQS and I have clutter from other people that resides in our apartments.  My clutter comes from artifacts of both my family, of my late wife and her family. RQS's clutter has similar sources, but more of them.  And we have taken it upon ourselves to help each other clean up the messes which define our apartments.

In our generation, possessions were handed down from generation to generation.  We expected our children to live in spaces bigger than the generations before them.  My late wife preserved the engraved crystal her parents and grandparents used on special occasions. Others preserved expensive place settings used (if ever) for these occasions. And I don't intend to get started on tchotchkes such as Hummel figurines. The baby boomers as a whole seem to believe in accumulating "stuff" to be handed on to future generations - even if it has no demonstrated value or use.

Right now, I am trying to being my apartment into a shape where I can have friends over to visit. RQS is good for me in this area.  And I know I'll have to pay her back this winter by helping her clear out the mess in her place.  By the time we are done, I figure that we'll have an idea of what our long term relationship will look like.  And that's a good thing....

Fireworks!

Although this is not one of my better photographs, it gives the viewer an idea of what RQS and I saw this weekend....

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One of the things about living in the Hudson Valley is that we have a choice of fireworks displays to choose from on any given holiday/holiday weekend.  This year, I decided to take RQS to see the Labor Day fireworks display at West Point, but view it from across the Hudson River in Cold Spring.

For those of my readers who don't know the Hudson Valley, Cold Spring is a sleepy little river town about 90 minutes from NYC by train.  Like many river towns around here, there is a little area near the river front where one can often find a park, a railroad station, and some marinas; with a main street that goes up a long hill.  When I moved to the area, Cold Spring was about to be found by the artistic community, and housing prices were about to zoom beyond the ability of locals to afford them. Today, Cold Spring is one of the more expensive towns in which to live in the Mid Hudson Valley. And it has kept much of its small town charm.  This year, it coordinated its neighborhood street fair to coincide with West Point's fireworks display. 

I normally don't pay close attention to what happens in many of the river towns, so I was a little surprised to find out about the street fair, as it blocked direct access to the river.  However, I was able to find a set of side roads which led us away from Main Street and to the river.  Once I found a convenient parking spot, we had a couple of hours to kill before the fireworks started. So we found a vacant park bench and listened to the Slambovian Circus of Dreams until the fireworks began.

Although watching West Point's fireworks from Cold Spring did not provide us with an optimal view, it did make it very easy to go home from the park.  We didn't have to drag lawn chairs for 3/4 to a car nor did we have to deal with traffic jams getting out of West Point and getting across the Bear Mountain Bridge.

A letter from a friend.

 

In 2019, I went on a solo cruise, leaving both FCP and XGFJ at home.  This was one of my most enjoyable cruises, as I did not have to care about what someone else was doing.  I didn't have to deal with FCP wanting to be the center of attention, and I didn't have to care about XGFJ dragging me out to do things I wasn't interested in at the time.  This cruise was all about me and my relaxation, and I enjoyed all the days I was on the cruise.

On the cruise, I met two people I wanted to keep in touch with.  One fell by the wayside.  The other, I'm still in contact with today.  This person (who I'll call CLK) lives in Canada, and we haven't seen each other since that cruise.  After Covid travel restrictions were relaxed, she passed through the NYC area on her way to/from a cruise.  Unfortunately, we weren't able to connect with each other then.  And today, I received a response to an email I wrote a couple of days ago.

CLK has been busy with her career, and is busy taking care of her aging parents.  Before Covid hit, she was scheduled to take a Panama Canal cruise on my favorite NCL ship.  Sadly, her mom had some ailments which caused CLK to cancel her cruise, and then Covid struck.  Things became hectic for CLK, as being a caregiver took up the past 2 years of her life outside of her full time job, and she had some issues of her own.

It's always a pleasure to receive a letter from CLK, as it allows us to keep in contact - and hopefully, meet up with each other again.  She now has a cruise scheduled with her family scheduled for later this year, and has a moonlighting gig as well.  I'm rooting for her and her family, as her mom is dealing with health issues typical of someone born 80-90 years ago.  I hope that next time I receive an email, that some of her mom's issues have been successfully dealt with.  But until then, I'll just wait for her next email....

I won't go into details, but....

 

In the past, I found out that one of my acquaintances' children is a member of the LGBT community.  Thinking little of this, I put it into the back of my mind.  Today, I found out that this girl (for now) is identifying as a male, prefers to use he, him, and his pronouns, and goes to a LGBT group affiliated with the LGBT center I used to volunteer at.

It's going to be hard for me (at first) getting used to using the new pronouns, as this youth is already going through a female puberty.  S/he has already developed breasts, and is at an age where puberty blockers should be used if  s/he doesn't want to develop other female characteristics, such as widened hips.  But, should I tell the parents what to look out for?  I'm of mixed mind, as I don't want to get involved unless I am asked to get involved.

Right now, the parents may think that she is going through a phase that she'll grow out of.  I hope they are right.  If not, I know this youth will be loved whatever gender s/he identifies as being....

I finally decided to take a small risk.

 

As I mentioned before, I will be taking a Hawaii cruise later this year. I have already booked my excursions, and have an idea of what my travel arrangements will be like.  (At best, they will suck big time. But the price is right.) The one thing I've been hemming and hawing about is whether I'd submit a bid to upgrade my inside cabin to a balcony cabin.

Some of you might say that taking the risk of spending $220 to upgrade my cabin is worth the money.  However, a bit of thought went into choosing the cabin location, and an upgrade is like buying a pig in a poke. One doesn't know the quality of what one is getting until the deal is complete.  I don't want to be in a position where I traded a good room for something less acceptable if I had known what I was buying. However, spending $220 to get a good cabin which I'd have spent another $1600+ more is worth the risk I would be taking.  

After more hemming and hawing, I made a decision to bid on the upgrade.  Given that the ship is still sailing at 40%-50% of capacity, there should be a decent number of balcony cabins that would otherwise go unoccupied.  So, if I snag a good cabin, it's a win-win for both the cruise line and me.  I get a better deal on a better cabin than I would have gotten when I made my reservation, and the cruise line gets extra money from me for the same level of service.  If they don't accept my bid, I will be in a good cabin.  And, if they do accept the bid, I will be in a balcony cabin enjoying a cool ocean breeze when sailing between the islands.

One thing I can say - I'll be sure to take lots of pictures....

A quick note on a dinner I had with a friend

 

Thinking doesn't always come easy to me.  But when I think, I think hard.  (Or, am I hardly thinking?)  But to be serious, I met with a friend who wanted to find out what I thought of the situation she was in.

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Over dinner, my friend told me about the issues she was having with a man in her life.  Like her other friends, I told her that she should tell this fellow goodbye, then block his number on her phone.  He seemed to be calling her when he had no one available to see or talk with, and that he was only interested in her for the purposes of having sex.  AARGH.

After hearing her story, (Transgender) Mama Marian got into action (as if she was Cisgender) and told her what to do in no uncertain terms.  And then, like a good Mama, I then gave her ideas of what to do with her life.  As I see it, she needs to learn the skills needed to have a well paying career, find a good man, and then (if she wants) to be ready to have a baby before this option is no longer available to her.  

When I got home, I chatted with RQS.  she got a big laugh when I told her that I performing in the role of a cisgender woman, using language that identified me as a cis-woman, such as "us women", "I was unable to conceive and carry a baby to term", etc.  Although the advice would be just as valuable coming from a male, it would not be received in the same way.  I noted that all hetero men seem to be interested in getting laid.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Women, having more to risk when having sex, tend to need men who will care for them even when sex can not be offered.  

I figured that RQS would chew me out if I did anything wrong.  However, she seemed to approve of what I did, as it was meant to help this woman friend.  Hopefully, what I said will make a positive difference in my friend's life.

Thoughts on travel as Marian and as Mario

A while back, I bought the above dress at Target. As much as my shoulders appear too broad when my entire figure is considered, I thing that this will be one of the dresses I'll be taking with me when I go to Hawaii.  However, I'm not so sure of the dress below.    

Although both dresses are of similar styles, there is a great difference between the two.  The top dress has just enough "going on" with the fabric to make it look tolerably nice on me.  Unfortunately, the bottom dress is too plain, and I will need to find the right piece of costume jewelry to wear with it because it shows too much of my neck.

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Being transgender with male hormones flowing through my veins for over 50 years, I have the build of a heavy set male.  This forces me to use any and all tricks at my disposal to minimize the broadness of my shoulders and maximize an illusion of having larger hips.

RQS accepts me in both presentations, and may eventually cruise with me in a female gender presentation.  This won't happen for a while.  Until then, I plan to make the most of my trip to Hawaii, as this may be the last chance to take a vacation as Marian for a long while.

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The other day, we found out that NCL would not downgrade our "free drinks" package to a "soda" package.  Although the soda package would cost them less, this was not an option given for the "Free at Sea" package.  There is no way I want to spend $200/pp to get a drink package for the price of its gratuities (20% of $1000 = $200) when the two of us are cruising on a budget.  A soda package would cost us (and NCL) much less (20% of $120 = $24/pp), but we couldn't convince NCL to offer that upgrade. So, we are sending snail mail complaint letters to the CEO of NCL, with a hope that this could be changed before we go on our cruise. (I don't think this will happen, but...)

Contrast this with my future Hawaii trip.  I am not bothering to scrimp on anything, save the transit to and from my home airport.  The Hawaii cruise excursions will cost me roughly $1,000, where the New England / Eastern Canada excursions we have already booked will cost us $75/pp.  Even if we booked an excursion in every port, we'd still spend less as a couple on excursions than I am spending as a single traveler.

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Last night, while trying to reach a state of exhaustion, I started to try to reduce the cost in getting to a Panama Canal cruise and home from that cruise.  Instead of booking airfare on one of the legacy airlines or traveling on Amtrak, I'm now looking at flying Southwest.  Do you have any ideas of what I should watch out for if we choose this option?