Fireworks!

Although this is not one of my better photographs, it gives the viewer an idea of what RQS and I saw this weekend....

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One of the things about living in the Hudson Valley is that we have a choice of fireworks displays to choose from on any given holiday/holiday weekend.  This year, I decided to take RQS to see the Labor Day fireworks display at West Point, but view it from across the Hudson River in Cold Spring.

For those of my readers who don't know the Hudson Valley, Cold Spring is a sleepy little river town about 90 minutes from NYC by train.  Like many river towns around here, there is a little area near the river front where one can often find a park, a railroad station, and some marinas; with a main street that goes up a long hill.  When I moved to the area, Cold Spring was about to be found by the artistic community, and housing prices were about to zoom beyond the ability of locals to afford them. Today, Cold Spring is one of the more expensive towns in which to live in the Mid Hudson Valley. And it has kept much of its small town charm.  This year, it coordinated its neighborhood street fair to coincide with West Point's fireworks display. 

I normally don't pay close attention to what happens in many of the river towns, so I was a little surprised to find out about the street fair, as it blocked direct access to the river.  However, I was able to find a set of side roads which led us away from Main Street and to the river.  Once I found a convenient parking spot, we had a couple of hours to kill before the fireworks started. So we found a vacant park bench and listened to the Slambovian Circus of Dreams until the fireworks began.

Although watching West Point's fireworks from Cold Spring did not provide us with an optimal view, it did make it very easy to go home from the park.  We didn't have to drag lawn chairs for 3/4 to a car nor did we have to deal with traffic jams getting out of West Point and getting across the Bear Mountain Bridge.

An interesting weekend - Two people for the price of one

 

This weekend was very interesting for me.  I had RQS up to my place for the first time, and next day, had the opportunity to visit my brother for the first time in months.  It was a high mileage weekend, and worth it for every mile I had to drive....

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I've been stalling RQS in having her come up for a while.  Although she was in no rush to visit, she understood how my depression of 2020-2021 would affect how I took care of the apartment, and my need to make it "presentable" before asking her to visit.  She finally made it here, and didn't not get repulsed by the state of the apartment.  Instead, she understood what I want through for the past two years, and saw the positive side in me getting things back in order.

RQS arrived in Croton at 12:30 pm, and then we went to my apartment for a bio break.  Once that pressing need was taken care of, it was off to do a Mid-Hudson valley loop.  Although it was a little dreary outside, we enjoyed a country ride with several stops along the way to New Paltz, and then back home via Poughkeepsie.  

Although Vicki wanted to meet RQS, her Mother's Day planning got in the way.  So we ended up having dinner at a local joint before going home for the evening.  Once home, I showed her some more of my wardrobe, as well as a sew swimsuit pictures like the one above.  RQS said that she wouldn't have recognized me in this photo if she didn't know me as well as she does now.

The next day, I dropped RQS off at the gym, and then went to see my brother.  We haven't seen each other in months, and this was the first time we've gotten together since last year.  (Without checking this blog, I wouldn't even remember when I last saw him.)  Things in his personal life aren't going that well, and he had the chance to share things with me that he hadn't had the chance to talk about in a while.

When I picked my brother up, I had no idea that we'd be driving out past Smithtown for a late lunch. Normally, when I lived on Long Island, I never went that far out except for a couple of drives to Orient Point.  Now, in the past 2 years, I've been out in the Riverhead area (and beyond) several times.  And I'm glad that I still remember my way around the island after living elsewhere for almost 40 years.

All too early, it was time to drop my brother off at home, and then go home myself.  I'm not looking forward to go to work in the morning, but I'll be glad I'm able to do so these days....

A tale of 3 dummy lights.

 

 

 (Dummy light in Canajoharie, NY)

Dummy lights are an anomaly in traffic control.  By modern standards, they are relatively unsafe.  They usually interfere with traffic flow, often being the indirect cause of many accidents.  Yet, three of these lights survive in New York State.  This is my tale of the three lights.

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(Dummy light in Croton, NY)

 
The Croton dummy light is very familiar to me, as I live in this town.  Unlike most dummy lights, it is not in the middle of the intersection.  Instead, it's off to the side, and tends NOT to interfere with traffic flow.  

I find it amazing that this light has survived so long.  Yet, keeping this light makes more sense than replacing it.  Installing a newer style of traffic control would ruin the character of the village, as the dummy light would need to be replaced by one (or more) hanging street light(s) whose supports would ruin the appearance of the intersection AND might make it even more dangerous.

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(Dummy light in Beacon, NY)

Like Croton's dummy light, Beacon's light also is an anomaly.  It does not interfere with traffic flow.  And, like Croton's light, adds to the character of the part of town in which it resides.  I've eaten at several restaurants in walking distance of this light, and consider it something that the town should preserve at all costs.

When I first came to the Hudson Valley, Beacon was a dump.  Thirty years later, it is one of those places that New York City residents have fallen in love with and have planted the seeds for its gentrification.  Of course, gentrification has resulted in problems for many long time residents of the valley - they can no longer afford to live here.  

I first started visiting Beacon on a regular basis when I first started going out as Marian.  First, I went to a game night meetup being held by a woman trying to draw new business to her restaurant.  (This meetup has since been disbanded, but that's another tale covered in my previous blog.)  Then, I attended a woman's meetup group for a while. This gave me needed practice going out as Marian, and gave me the confidence that I could live in the outside world as my authentic self.  (It's hard to believe that my ex girlfriend once attended this group, as she needed a ride from me to get back to her car being repaired the next day.) Eventually, this group died when the owner of the restaurant where we usually met decided to shut down the restaurant and to eventually move out of the region.

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(Dummy light in Canajoharie, NY)

On Mother's day, I decided to take a drive up to Cooperstown, NY to visit the Baseball Hall of Fame.  It was more of an excuse to get out of the house and distract myself from the boredom that has permeated my life for the past 18 months or so.   While on my trip (as Mario), I ended up seeing the one remaining dummy light in Canajoharie, NY on my way home from the HOF.

There was no reason for me to be in Canajoharie this day.  If I had a better internal road map of the area, I would not have even bothered being near this place.  But I saw a sign telling me that I could reach Route I-90 (New York Thruway) from a given road, and I made the mistake of taking that road as the rain was starting to pour.

Canajoharie is a town that time left behind.  The most notable part of the town is a large factory that shut down years ago, leaving the town with no reason for being.  And when I drove through the town, I became glad that I live in the Hudson Valley, a region which is undergoing a rebirth.

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Dummy lights are anomalies - just like me.  I'm glad that I've seen all three of these curiosities, as I expect that some law enacted in the future will cause them to be removed.  We will be losing something important when that this eventually happens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another Monday, another walk in the park.

 

If it weren't for the fact that I want to build up a better friendship with YGD, I'd have passed on going to a local park for a hike today.  My sleep patterns are totally screwed up, and I've found that I've been catching a few hours of sleep at random times through the day.  Since I haven't put on my CPAP machine, this sleep is not as good as I'd like it to be.  

With the above being said, I decided to stay awake and see YGD near where she lives - in Greenwich, CT.  I was pleasantly surprised at how many places are available in her neck of the woods for easy hiking, as this was the second place in Greenwich we've hiked.  I was even more surprised to find out that she does most of her hiking in the Hudson Valley.  Given enough hikes over the years, I'd bet that she'd have bumped into my ex girlfriend on one of those hikes.  But, without me trying to connect the two, there is no reason that this should be a problem for me.

As we started out on today's hike, I almost twisted my ankle and needed medical attention.  This is the one thing I didn't need to happen, as I'm still fighting with my insurance company to get my coverage straightened out. However, I was able to recover my footing in a way that didn't cause me to hurt myself. But it did made me hyper aware  of how I was walking for the totality of the hike.

If this were a normal day out in the woods, we might have gone somewhere for a bite to eat.  However, with the pandemic spiking lately, eating indoors is not highly recommended.  So we agreed to get together next week (weather permitting), and will look for a nice place to walk before then. 

Things are warming up

 

It was a day off from the census, and I decided to accompany FL to see a house she was thinking of renting on the Jersey shore.  There is a big difference between driving 90 minutes through the Hudson Valley to see my ex girlfriend and 120 minutes driving through New Jersey to reach FL.  And I know that this will become a factor in the relationship as it develops....

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Right now, I have to think of how I will extricate myself from FH.  She's a nice woman, but I don't think I want to deal with the headaches of a girlfriend who can't drive and won't use mass transit in the age of COVID-19.  Yes, she's willing to spend $70+ on an Uber to get to Westchester.  But I don't like the idea of driving to the Catskills, then drive her back to Long Island.  Something bothers me, and it's related to the inconveniences of dating someone who has limited transit mobility at a time mass transit poses an infection risk.

In regard to FL, the drive to Brick and back was a way of seeing whether FL could be comfortable with me in Marian Mode.  Even though there was no hanky-panky, she was comfortable putting her hand in mine and laying it on my skirted leg.  This is a very positive sign.  Yes, the first time we get intimate, I'll be dressed as Mario. But she has no objection for me to be dressed as Marian.  

In many ways, my ex may have done me a favor by breaking up with me.  FL is making an effort to be comfortable with me both as Marian and as Mario.  I only wonder - is there something I should be concerned about that I'm not sensing?

 

 

And soon, I must make a hard decision....

My current dating situation reminds me of some advice given by Julius Henry (Groucho) Marx. He advised a young man that: (1) He should find a woman who knows how to cook, (2) He should find a woman who will care for you when you are sick, (3) He should find a woman who will laugh at his jokes, and (4) He should find a woman who is good in bed.  But lastly, Groucho advised: He should never let these women meet.  Given the juggling I've been doing over the last few weeks, I feel like the man to whom Groucho gave his sage advice.

Let's call the 3 ladies I've been dating, FH, MB, and FL.  If one of these ladies ends up being a long term "girlfriend", I'll assign a new name for ease of reference.  FH lives on Long Island, and doesn't drive.  MB lives in the Hudson Valley, has seen me as Marian, but I've only met her twice.  FL lives in New Jersey, knows about my feminine side, has seen me twice, and is already interested in spending a weekend together.  All 3 of these ladies might be good choices for me, but each one has some unknowns that could derail a relationship. Things have come to a decision point with one of them, and I have to figure out whether I want to move forward with this relationship, or take a pass and bet on one of the other 2 working out.

One advantage that my most recent round of dating has had for me, is that it has helped me finally heal from the wreckage of my last relationship.  During the worst of the pandemic, my ex blocked me from accessing one of the few groups meeting virtually that would transition to in person meetups later in the year.  Of course, she couldn't deal with my existence as Marian, and grew to hate this side of me over the last year we were together.  So she did her damnedest to blackball me from one group, but she wasn't able to blackball me from the other.  In the end, we wound up in the same place had we negotiated a settlement between us, but with much more anger along the way.  

Of the women I've dated recently, FH is someone I like.  But I'm not sure if we share enough chemistry to move forward. We like each other, but I think the habits formed during the first days of "pandemic dating" may yet get the better of us.  MB already accepts me as Marian, and has yet to see me as Mario.  What will she think?  What would it be like if we were to get intimate?  Would she mind if I were the one to wear the silky nightgowns?  And then, that leaves us with FL.  She likes this area where I live.  Yet, I think she might want to live closer to her family in New Jersey.  Could we find a happy middle ground?

So many questions.....

A belated Merry Christmas!

As usual, the Christmas Holiday started for me the night before.  GFJ was away with her family, and I had an evening out as Marian.  And where does a T-Gal like me go when she wants to be with people on Christmas Eve?  Church, of course.

Christmas Eve would be the only chance I'd have to spend some time with people in Marian Mode, and I made sure to dress up nice for the evening.  So I made my face up, put on a little black dress, and out the door I went.  Arriving at the church about 30 minutes early, I decided to call my brother to figure out what we were going to do the next day. He told me that he'd call me back in the morning, as my sister in law just checked into rehab. (I can only imagine how much of a hit this is going to be to their savings.  She has a nasty habit of self destructing every time something good starts going on in my brother's life.)  So we disconnected for the evening, and I walked into the Church.

As I've mentioned before, this parish shares a priest and a deaconess with a sister parish a few miles away.  This parish gets the priest for Christmas Eve, and the other for Christmas Day.  It is an arrangement that is working for now.  But as parishioners die out (or move away), one church will likely be de-consecrated.  Given the location of this parish, the land is more valuable than the building as it is in a very convenient part of town.  Of course, I can also see the building being sold off to a growing congregation, most likely made up of Korean or Chinese immigrants.  (I've seen this happen with other churches in the lower Hudson Valley, so this wouldn't be a surprise.)  Luckily, the sister parish has more than enough room for the people from this church, and it is only a short drive away.

In my childhood, churches would be packed both on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day.  Christmas Eve's attendance was between a third to a quarter of what the church could hold when fully packed.  Unlike my past visits, I decided to sit halfway to the front of the pews.  This time, I felt I had made a mistake, but not for anything to do with my acceptance as Marian.  When the service started, and the hymn singing began, the fellow behind me was singing in the most god awful off key voice I've ever heard.  It took away from my enjoyment of hearing the choir sing.  But I won't complain much.  The older gentleman behind me was continuing a tradition of communal participating in the singing of hymns.

While I'm on the topic of hymn singing, I have to mention something that made me feel good.  The service started with the choir singing "Silent Night" in German.  Although I grew up with the English language version of the song, this is one composition that sounds better in German.  (Sadly, there are way too many people who think that German can't sound just as silky smooth as a romance language.  This version of the song puts that misconception to rest.)  This choir is one of the reasons I enjoy going to this church.  They have a good music director, and bring back feelings of what church should have been like when I grew up.

Around 9:30, the service ended and I had a question to answer.  Do I go to a movie? Or, do I go to a diner and have a pre-Christmas dinner?  I chose the dinner.  By the time I was done, I had missed the last showing of the movie for the evening.  So I ended up going home for the night.

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Christmas came with no phone call from my brother.  So I had to call him to find out what we were doing for the day.  He said to come down, and we'll pick dad up from the nursing home, then we'll order some Chinese.  I had to joke with him about becoming an honorary Jew for the day, as many Jews have made it a tradition to go to Chinese restaurants on Christmas.  This allows them to eat out on Christmas Day, enjoying a cuisine which doesn't mix dairy and meat products.  (Of course, the idea of eating "Safe Treyf" also appeals to many.)  So I proceeded to get ready to go out while my brother made his trip to the nursing home to pick up my dad.

Leaving my place a little after 2:00, I arrived at my brother's place around 3:15.  The usual traffic jams didn't cause me any problems, as I was able to take side streets from the Clearview Expressway out to my brother's place.  As expected, my brother had Chinese takeout menus in hand for us to place our orders. A little later, we had a nice feast on food that was both too salty and too fatty while being too tasty to resist.  My brother wanted to show a video that he had saved on his phone. But we couldn't figure out how to cast screen images from the phone to the TV.  The closest we came was getting YouTube videos to display on his TV, and that bothered my brother.  He spent the next hour trying to get things to work with his phone and his TV to no avail.  By the time 7:00 came around, I was getting tired, and I needed the second cup of coffee to give me the energy to drive home safely.

On the way home, I chatted with GFJ, who had just dropped her mom off at her place. We agreed on when we'd meet tomorrow, but not the where.  Neither of us knew which movies were playing at the local theaters, and I said that I'd check things out and give her some choices that she could look at when she got home.

Keep your fingers crossed for me....