It's hard to believe that I booked another cruise already

I have a cruise coming up in 3 months, and both of us have another in 5.  Yet, RQS and I have just scheduled another cruise for the fall - this time to Bermuda, when both of us have a bucket list cruise to finish paying for.  AARGH!  Luckily, both of us can afford this cruise, but it forces us to think about the cruising/vacations we'll be taking in 2025.

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Normally, we don't see Free Pre-Paid Gratuities on NCL.  Its "Free at Sea" package does not cover gratuities - this means that we each would have to pay:

• Beverage Service Charge           - $152.55
• Specialty Dining Service Charge -  $19.80
• Daily Service Charge                  - $140.00

However, the deal noted above with Pre-Paid Gratuities (Daily Service Charge) made it worth the while to upgrade to a balcony cabin.  Yet, it's money that I wasn't planning to put out until after we returned from Europe.  

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Now that we've committed the better part of $15k to travel in 2024, what does this mean for 2025?  I'm not sure if RQS wants to commit to another bucket list trip.  Additionally, I'm not sure if our bucket lists are fully in sync with each other. This is not a big deal, as I see room for us to heck off a few destinations on each of our lists.

For example,  If one looks at the above chart that I maintain on a monthly basis, you'll see that I am looking to take either one of two Alaska cruises during the shoulder seasons.  Additionally, I am seriously looking at a cruise in Iceland, a cruise through the Panama Canal, and a Transatlantic crossing on the Queen Mary 2.  It's not practical to take more than one of these cruises in any one calendar year.  I'd like to take the Panama Canal cruise in 2025, as I expect that global warming will affect water levels in the Canal Zone. I can see us going to either Alaska or Iceland in 2026.  If we push the calendar into tracking 2027 cruises, I'll add a Hawaii cruise (or two) to this list.  Checking off bucket list destinations can get quite expensive, and I want to make sure that RQS enjoys the trips as much as I will.

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You'll note that we've also talked about river cruises.  These will cost even more than the ocean cruises we've been taking lately.  So instead, we might end up choosing to visit a city/region and exploring it for a week or so.  One of the places we've talked about going to is San Francisco before it implodes.  (A city that loses its tax base will soon neglect essential public safety and social services, and will be as crime ridden as New York was in the 1980's.)  Ideally, we'll find a place where I can go as Marian and both of our Texas friends would be willing to visit with us.  If not, we'll explore it on our own.  On our list of cities to explore are Seattle, New Orleans, Boston, Philadelphia and Washington, DC.  (DC is always fun to visit, and it's a place where I've gone as Mario and as Marian.)

As you can see, travel is high on my list of things to do.  And I hope to do as much as possible while I'm healthy enough to do so.

Some comments about Alaska cruises

 

One of the things I hate about cruising these days is the scheduling of time in port.  Specifically, I would have considered taking an Alaska cruise this year, but substandard schedules sealed my decision not to take advantage of cruise line sales to this destination.

In the example above, I see little reason for the ship to make only a 6-hour stop in Ketchikan, and a 3-hour stop in Victoria.  Both places deserve more time to explore.  And in the case of Victoria, there is little reason to get off the ship with only 3 hours in port.  But why does this happen?  Although I can't say much about the Ketchikan port stop, I can say something about the Victoria stop.

The United States has two laws that force cruise lines to make a stop in Canada when sailing an Alaska cruise:

1. The Jones Act
2. The Passenger Vessel Services Act

Together, these laws prohibit foreign flagged cruise ships from transporting passengers between United States Ports.  If the foreign flagged ship makes at least one stop in a foreign port before returning to a United States port, then many of the provisions of these laws do not apply.  Yet, things can be a little tricky when scheduling cruises.  For example, one cruiser attempted to book a "back to back" cruise on a Royal Caribbean ship as follows:

1. Cruise from Hawaii to Vancouver, BC.
2. Cruise from Vancouver, BC to Whittier, AK.

If the cruiser had removed his/her bags from the first ship (from Hawaii) and booked passage on a second ship going to Alaska, there would have been no violation of United States laws, and there would have been no problems.  However, the cruiser booked a ""back to back" on the same ship, and could have caused the cruise line to break the law.  Instead of paying the US Government $850/pp in fines, the cruise line cancelled the second leg of this trip.

Yet, there are ways that foreign flagged ships can transport passengers between United States ports.  Panama Canal cruises are perfect examples of this:

In the case of the above itinerary, I would guess that although the cruise is sold as one booking, to the US Government, it is a series of two (or more) itineraries.  It confuses me as to why the Hawaii to Vancouver to Alaska connections were prohibited and that the Panama Canal itinerary is allowed. 

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As I write this, the British Columbia Longshoreman's Union has decided to strike.  If they decided to take action against cruise ships flying "flags of convenience", it would have scuttled the remainder of the 2023 cruise season.  Luckily, this dis not happen.  The longshoremen realize that if they scuttle the remainder of the 2023 cruise season, the United States may enact permanent exceptions to the Jones Act and the Passenger Vessel Services Act to allow foreign flagged ships to make their Alaska runs. If this were to happen, there would no longer be a need to stop in either Vancouver or Victoria.  This would be a shame, as I think that both cities are well worth a full-day visit, and not the ridiculous 3-hour stop in Victoria as made in the first itinerary.

I'm trying to figure a way to travel often as a couple

 

I should have taken out the barrette and used a darker shade of lipstick before having this picture taken.  But it reflects the imperfections one lives with when traveling - one can't bring a full makeup kit along on a cruise and have room for other things that are needed even more.

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RQS and I have been trying to figure out a way for us to take another cruise that fills two requirements: (1) To allow me to meet with my 90 y/o uncle in Los Angeles, and (2) To allow RQS to meet with her cousin in San Diego.  There are not many options that fit both requirements, but I recently found one that does.  

The cruise I found is a 7 day round trip cruise out of Los Angeles that goes to San Francisco, then Monterrey, San Diego, and Ensenada, MX before returning to Los Angeles.  The drawback?  The airfare may be almost as expensive as the cruise.  RQS can't justify spending money for her share of a trip to DC, a California coastal cruise in the Spring, and a Bermuda cruise in late Autumn.  I don't want to travel without her, but I might do so in order to see my uncle while he's "vertical."

Assuming that I take this 7 day cruise instead of the 15 day Panama Canal cruise I once looked at, I might decide to take it in Marian Mode.  But I'd need to travel to and from LA as Mario, so that I have the freedom to meet my uncle in the way he knows me.  Otherwise, I'd do the whole trip as Mario.  And that would depress me.

So, what would you do in my shoes?  Any suggestions?

Thoughts about Gender Non-Conforming Travel

 

One of the things that a transgender person might like to do is travel.  However, when the name and image on one's legal identification does not match that expected for one's gender presentation, this can get a person into a lot of trouble.  There is still a lot of prejudice against us out there, and I have been a worry wart about going places where I might not be welcome.

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I live in a relatively liberal area of the United States.  Yet, there are many people who would hate me simply for being transgender.  The closer to coastal metropolitan areas one is in this country, the more likely it is that transgender people are accepted.  (This doesn't mean that we don't suffer due to societal prejudices.  It simply means that most people tend to respect our rights as human beings.)  The further away one gets, the less we are accepted and the more we are subject to discrimination (and worse). So, I have learned to be very careful about travel outside my region, as I could get killed if I am in the wrong region.

Now, I've been told that I would be relatively safe in the Dallas, TX area.  But I can't be sure of this.  So I will avoid seeing my friends in the Dallas area until I look more feminine than I currently do.  Yes, I'd love to meet my friend Stephanie again, but it will be much more difficult now that I have RQS in my life.  Kim (of Traveling Transgender) has had few problems with her interstate travel (from the Austin, TX area), flying across the country on her business trips.  Sadly for her, she doesn't travel as much anymore, and she no longer posts about her exploits.

When I had FCP as a cruise partner, I had the pleasure of beginning to cross national boundaries while in gender non-conforming presentation.  At first, I worried about how people would treat me on the cruise, and I found that there was nothing to worry about.  However, I didn't know how I'd be treated when I left the safety of the cruise ship and landed on foreign soil.  In Canada, I found that my rights were protected by law.  And on islands part of the EU (St. Martin), I had no problems as well.  Yet, I feared getting off the ship in places like St. Kitts, as they are hostile towards the LGBT community. So, I developed confidence in cruising, but realized that I had to do some research before getting off the ship at foreign ports.

Recently, I took a Hawaii cruise.  And this time, I heard the dreaded "S" word, instead of the welcomed "Ma'am".  This was not true in most cases.  But it was true where my ID came into use - such as at the airport.  Yet, people took my dress in stride, and treated me with respect.  Did this mean that my biological gender was not an issue?  Who knows?  But I had no problems with gender presentation on my last trip.

But what about future trips?

I am thinking of taking at least one of the following cruises next year:

1. Panama Canal, with stops in several Latin American countries, including Columbia.
2. Norway (and Iceland?), with routes within the EU and also Great Britain.

The stops on the first cruise concern me, as I need to do research before deciding to travel in Marian mode.  Are my rights protected in Mexico, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Panama, Columbia and other countries along the way?  Since Cartagena is a port that I want to visit, I need to know this as soon as possible.  Although I've reached out to Rhonda (of Rhonda's Escape), I've yet to hear from her about documentation she used in her travels.  Hopefully, I will be able to get more information from more sources regarding transgender travel to these ports, so that I can be safe when I make this trip.

In the future, I hope to do more and more of my travel as Marian - even if I have to preserve my Mario identity for purposes I've discussed elsewhere.  But to do so, I'll need more information, and I will document what I find out in this blog to make travel easier for the transgender people who follow me.

Sometimes, the total price of a cruise can be so tempting....

 

 

For those who wonder how I can consider interesting long distance trips and cruises, I suggest that they look at the above trip and how I would book it.  The January 28, 2023 trip above allows for a couple of nights in Honolulu before a 7 night cruise around the Hawaiian islands.  If I were to budget $500 for hotels, and another $100 for meals while in Honolulu, I'd be able to take this trip for approximately $3,300 before the cost of excursions.  Add on $700 for excursions I haven't taken in Hawaii, and I could take this bucket list trip again for $4,000 or so.  But it takes flexibility in thinking and of scheduling to do this.

RQS and I have fun looking at cruise prices and enjoy trying to figure out whether a specific trip makes sense.  Lately, I've been trying to come up with a way for us to take a Panama Canal cruise from Los Angeles, just to be an excuse to see my 90 y/o uncle.  There are trips (such as a Norwegian Fjord cruise) that we have had to put off for this year, so that we could take a cruise from LA and see my uncle.  And we have settled on a Princess cruise that goes to San Francisco, San Diego and Ensenada, MX.  It's not the ideal cruise for me.  But it is a cruise on which RQS could accompany me.  And that is the most important thing.

People traveling solo have many problems, as the tourist world is designed for couples and for families. The only reason that the above cruise came to mind is that the price has dropped and that there is no single supplement.  Couple this with affordable airfare, and I'd spend half as much as I did on my most recent cruise to take this vacation.  Hunting these bargains is a must if one wants to travel on a budget.

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Last year, RQS and I took a second New England/Canada cruise because the base price was too cheap to ignore.  Although we spent twice as much for the cruise than it was advertised for (ads in the United States market do not include taxes, port fees, or gratuities), it was still well worth taking at the time.  Shoulder season is a great time to cruise, as fewer people want to cruise these routes at the beginning or end of a cruise season.  

Bargain hunting shouldn't be limited to things like shoulder seasons.  For example, I took a cruise at the end of 2021 that seemed as if there was more crew than passengers.  I was willing to take the Covid-19 related risk, as I was fully vaccinated.  And it was a great cruise!  So I look for bargains from United States ports, and see if I can make the overall price of the cruise (including the cost of airfare, if needed) fit my budget.  If so, I'm ready to pack my bags and go!  If not, I'll keep scanning the lists to see if there is something worth tracking.

Right now, I occasionally look at cruises originating in the Tampa area.  I have a friend who lives there, and RQS has family in the area.  One of these days, we'll find a way to get there inexpensively, visit our friends and family, and take the cruise.  Until then, this trip will have to wait until the temptation is too much.

A letter from a friend.

 

In 2019, I went on a solo cruise, leaving both FCP and XGFJ at home.  This was one of my most enjoyable cruises, as I did not have to care about what someone else was doing.  I didn't have to deal with FCP wanting to be the center of attention, and I didn't have to care about XGFJ dragging me out to do things I wasn't interested in at the time.  This cruise was all about me and my relaxation, and I enjoyed all the days I was on the cruise.

On the cruise, I met two people I wanted to keep in touch with.  One fell by the wayside.  The other, I'm still in contact with today.  This person (who I'll call CLK) lives in Canada, and we haven't seen each other since that cruise.  After Covid travel restrictions were relaxed, she passed through the NYC area on her way to/from a cruise.  Unfortunately, we weren't able to connect with each other then.  And today, I received a response to an email I wrote a couple of days ago.

CLK has been busy with her career, and is busy taking care of her aging parents.  Before Covid hit, she was scheduled to take a Panama Canal cruise on my favorite NCL ship.  Sadly, her mom had some ailments which caused CLK to cancel her cruise, and then Covid struck.  Things became hectic for CLK, as being a caregiver took up the past 2 years of her life outside of her full time job, and she had some issues of her own.

It's always a pleasure to receive a letter from CLK, as it allows us to keep in contact - and hopefully, meet up with each other again.  She now has a cruise scheduled with her family scheduled for later this year, and has a moonlighting gig as well.  I'm rooting for her and her family, as her mom is dealing with health issues typical of someone born 80-90 years ago.  I hope that next time I receive an email, that some of her mom's issues have been successfully dealt with.  But until then, I'll just wait for her next email....

Thoughts on travel as Marian and as Mario

A while back, I bought the above dress at Target. As much as my shoulders appear too broad when my entire figure is considered, I thing that this will be one of the dresses I'll be taking with me when I go to Hawaii.  However, I'm not so sure of the dress below.    

Although both dresses are of similar styles, there is a great difference between the two.  The top dress has just enough "going on" with the fabric to make it look tolerably nice on me.  Unfortunately, the bottom dress is too plain, and I will need to find the right piece of costume jewelry to wear with it because it shows too much of my neck.

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Being transgender with male hormones flowing through my veins for over 50 years, I have the build of a heavy set male.  This forces me to use any and all tricks at my disposal to minimize the broadness of my shoulders and maximize an illusion of having larger hips.

RQS accepts me in both presentations, and may eventually cruise with me in a female gender presentation.  This won't happen for a while.  Until then, I plan to make the most of my trip to Hawaii, as this may be the last chance to take a vacation as Marian for a long while.

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The other day, we found out that NCL would not downgrade our "free drinks" package to a "soda" package.  Although the soda package would cost them less, this was not an option given for the "Free at Sea" package.  There is no way I want to spend $200/pp to get a drink package for the price of its gratuities (20% of $1000 = $200) when the two of us are cruising on a budget.  A soda package would cost us (and NCL) much less (20% of $120 = $24/pp), but we couldn't convince NCL to offer that upgrade. So, we are sending snail mail complaint letters to the CEO of NCL, with a hope that this could be changed before we go on our cruise. (I don't think this will happen, but...)

Contrast this with my future Hawaii trip.  I am not bothering to scrimp on anything, save the transit to and from my home airport.  The Hawaii cruise excursions will cost me roughly $1,000, where the New England / Eastern Canada excursions we have already booked will cost us $75/pp.  Even if we booked an excursion in every port, we'd still spend less as a couple on excursions than I am spending as a single traveler.

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Last night, while trying to reach a state of exhaustion, I started to try to reduce the cost in getting to a Panama Canal cruise and home from that cruise.  Instead of booking airfare on one of the legacy airlines or traveling on Amtrak, I'm now looking at flying Southwest.  Do you have any ideas of what I should watch out for if we choose this option?

 

Doing nothing and feeling good about it.

 

Today was a day where RQS and I stayed in bed until it was almost afternoon.  And neither of us felt bad about it.  I'm still getting used to the idea that I will be resigning my job, and finally retiring.  I feel both sad and glad that I am doing this, as it was precipitated by an event that I should have been able to prevent before it occured.

RQS sensed my sadness, and was a great comfort to me while we spent the day doing nothing except making breakfast and doing the laundry.  All too soon, we had to get dressed, so I could take her to the station for her trip home.  

Now, before I go on too much about how close we've become in the past few months, I have to say something about her cats.  They are not used to her being away as much as RQS has been lately, and they pounce on her whenever she gets home.  Although she will have friends stopping by to feed the cats when we go on our cruise together, I can only imagine how they will react after 10 days of her absence.

So far, RQS are getting so comfortable with each other that we are already looking at doing another cruise next year - specifically, the Panama Canal cruise I've been planning on for 2023.  She worries about her cats, but we'll see how they react after this cruise.  Since I'm going to be in Hawaii later this year, she's thinking of taking a cruise by herself while I'm away.  Could I have gotten her hooked on a way of taking inexpensive vacations?  I hope so, as I want her to be comfortable on the next few "bucket list" cruises I plan to take.

I don't have much to say today....

 

Over the past few days, I haven't had the chance to do much of anything or talk to anyone.  About the only things I have the energy or time to do during the week is to go shopping for necessities, and maybe do some laundry.  If it weren't for my belief that I should write something every day, even if it is a short paragraph, I'd switch to weekly entries.  But I'm afraid that I sill wouldn't have much to say.

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Right now, it looks like only one car dealership that is interested in cutting a deal I would find acceptable. If this doesn't work out, I'll put money into keeping my 9 y/o car on the road for another year, and take my chances buying a car next year.

My brother calls me up because he is bored with home life.  I won't go into his issues, save that he finds his time at the office a validation of the person he has become.  He has sacrificed a lot to get where he is, and he soon will grab his gold ring if all goes as expected.  Hopefully, all will go well for him.

Next year, I'm planning on taking a Panama Canal cruise.  I have only two requirements: (1) that I can visit my uncle in California at cruise end, and (2) that this cruise goes through the old locks.  Given the heat and humidity, this will be a cruise taken as Mario.  Yes, it's a compromise, but one I'm willing to take if I can see my uncle at the end.

Planning Trips

 

Today's post will be a short one.  I don't have too much to say, and not enough time for a thought piece.

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Lately, I've been prioritizing my future travels. Given that I will be going to Hawaii later this year, I am thinking of the trips I will take next year and the years after that.  One of the trips I want to take is a Panama Canal cruise.  I'm making a lot of effort to insure that the Canal cruise goes through the old locks, as it will be much more interesting.  If the canal IS the destination, then I want maximum value from a trip through the canal.  It is important that I take this trip next year, as I want to visit my (now) 88 year old uncle in California.

One of the issues I will have on future travels is going through an airport and flying on a plane.  I hate going through security, and have lined everything up to get a trusted traveler number via Global Entry.  But this doesn't do much for sitting on a plane with my large size, nor does it deal with the issues of baggage.  I still fear the headaches of flying later this year, and will avoid airports and flying as much as possible in the future.

All things considered, it is better for me to be thinking of the future than of my most recent past....

Looking at vacations I want to take.

 

Here's a nautical mileage cruise I'm thinking of taking in the future.  I've been to most of these ports before, and it would be nice to visit the new ports soon with RQS as a travel partner.  

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Now that RQS and I have made a successful trip to Washington, DC, we have started thinking of taking another trip together.  A quick run to New England and Canada's Maritime Provinces is something that came to both our minds.  Unlike my last run into Boston with FCP, who insisted that I keep her son and future daughter in law occupied, RQS likes the idea of going to see "Old Ironsides," and have some clam chowder at Boston's Union Oyster House while in town.

I've never been to Sydney or Charlottetown, so these ports will be new experiences for the two of us. As for Halifax and St. John, we can always find an interesting excursion to go on in these cities.  But in Portland and Boston, there are things we can do without the help of the cruise line's excursions.  So, we have a lot more options than which are presented to us by the cruise line - but we have to be willing to make sure to get back to the ship on time if we exercise those options.

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Since 2022 looks like it is already going to be a busy year, I've already started to look at cruises for 2023 and 2024.  Right now, the cruise at the top of my list is a Panama Canal cruise through the Historic Locks which starts in Los Angeles and ends in Fort Lauderdale.  If we do this cruise (or I do it alone), it will be a great opportunity to get there a day (or two) early and see both my aunt and uncle.  They are in their upper 80's, and I want to see them while they are able to get around on their own.

 

 

The above 25 day cruise is something I also want to take sometime in the future.  Although it is scheduled for July 2023, I can't see myself spending money on another bucket list cruise this soon after the Panama Canal cruise I want to take.  Since I want to visit my niece (living in London) sometime in  2023 or 2024, I figure that this will be a 2025 trip assuming that this cruise is still being offered.

 

One way or another, I expect to be doing at least one bucket list trip per year....

As much as I'd like to go on this cruise, I can't do so.

 

A year and a half ago, I was thinking of a Panama Canal cruise that went from New York City to Seattle. This cruise route is no longer being offered, and I doubt it will be offered until 2025 at best.  So the above route is the best alternative I can find that does both a full transit and will bring the total cost of the trip in at a price under $5,000 (at the time I'm writing this entry).

Now that I'm sailing alone, I have to focus on being more frugal than I was a couple of years ago.  Although this cruise sails out of Florida and ends in California, I can fly to Florida, meet up with a friend or two, then sail to San Francisco (via the canal), and then fly home with minimal difficulty.  However, this would be a trip made in Mario Mode.  So I'd leave all my feminine trappings at home.  

This trip would have one big advantage - I could change my plans and have a new travel partner come with me.  If I'm very lucky, a woman with whom I've had a few dates will be coming with me, as we share the same interests in trips.  But I'm not counting chickens before they hatch - I'm still waiting for the eggs to be laid.

As I said, I won't be going on this cruise.  One of these two conditions will be true: (1) I'll still be employed by the firm where I work now, or (2) I'll be working in a new organization.  Either way, conditions will make it impossible for me to take this trip in 2022.  And, I'm not sure if I want to take this bucket list cruise in the same year that I want to take my Hawaii cruise.