When I started to write this post, I had nothing to say.

 

As I've said in a previous post, this is how I wish I could make my face look.  When I told RQS about the website that allowed me to transform my masculine face into a feminine face, she wondered how she would look as a male.  Today, I finished work on the edit, removing extra hair from "her" face to look like a typical male - and "she" looked like she could have been her father's brother!  If I were into males, I'd be attracted to RQS's male image.  I guess that no matter what gender we were born into, we'd still find each other attractive.

- - - - - -

Right now, I'm relaxing in my apartment, catching up on things.  I was pleased to find that our co-op's site representative sent out a mailing on time, as directed.  (I thought that he wouldn't realize how time sensitive the material was, and would have waited for a go-ahead before a second edit review to send it out.)  Now, we're on track to take care of some business in a timely manner.

Sometime later in the day, I'll be taking care of laundry.  Although I have two loads to put away, I have (at least) another two loads to catch up on things.  It's one of those "might as well" tasks that I can take care of when I have nothing urgent to do and need to get something done to feel good about the day. 

And this triggered the thought of a conversation I had last night....

A friend of mine has family duties (that I won't describe here) that limits the activities she can do to earn money. I said that I would look up an acquaintance from my Census days and see if she still has contacts for work that my friend can do at home.  Hopefully, I'll be able to help this friend.

 

 

I met a friend today, oh boy....

 

Today's post will be a quick one, as I do not have that much to say....

- - - - - -

A while back, I had scheduled lunch with my friend Suzanne from the company I used to work for.  Today, we finally had another chance to get together and chat about what is going on in our lives.

Suzanne was a little late, as she was catching up on things that piled up on her in the morning. (I won't go into any details, as she has a business that she is developing.)  But when she finally arrived, the conversation flowed like water.  I told her about the "Before and After" picture in yesterday's post, but couldn't show it to her because I didn't upload it into the cloud.  I also looked for an email containing an apartment that was literally trashed, but couldn't find that one as well.  (I won't include it here, as looking at the picture makes me feel sick.)

It's always nice to talk with someone who knows that I am transgender and live in both male and female worlds.  It would be even nicer that I would have an androgynous face to go along with whatever presentation I am in, as I would like to shift more into the female mode than I am today.  And it is nice to be able to be with women who accept me for who and what I am.... 

Before & After - How I would like to look if I could go for Facial Feminization Surgery

 

On her blog, Stana provides a link to a site (Wondershare) that will take a male image and convert it to a  female image using Artificial Intelligence.  The more I look at the image on the right, the more I want to look like that woman.

Just looking at the images, I noticed several things:

• The AI remover the barrette from my hair.
• The AI changed the frames of the glasses I wear.
• The AI gave me a bigger smile.
• The AI narrowed my jaw line.
• The AI gave me a narrower nose.
• The AI gave me a little more fat on my cheeks.
  

There may be more changes that the AI would generate using another picture.  But I was amazed at how good (if not beautiful) it made my face look.

Given what I see above, I now have even more reasons to lose my extra weight, so that when I get excess skin removed from my body, that I can justify partial Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) at that time. Hopefully, by doing only the lower part of my face, I will retain the ability to switch between gender presentations and look authentic in both.  Yet, assuming I am still in a relationship with RQS, I would look to get her OK before taking this next step.

And Damn!  I could get used to seeing the face on the right in my mirror every morning.  Not bad for a 65 y/o gal!!!!

Today was a day spent both lounging and cleaning in fits and spurts

 

This picture was taken a while back, when my desk was neater than it is now.  The clutter on my desk should give my readers an idea of what I let happen in my apartment since the pandemic started.  The rest of the bedroom was in worse condition, but I took some time today to clean things up a little in fits and spurts.

Cleaning up this apartment post-covid has been an exercise in frustration.  It seems like I take 2 steps forward while taking 1 step backward.  Thankfully, RQS has been with me to help on occasion, and things have gradually started to look better.  While straightening things up, I was able to clean up space in my dining area and make the area around my air conditioner much more accessible than it has been in a dog's age.  The same goes for the bedroom, as I've taken the time to throw out more stuff and sort through things that need to find better homes.

RQS notes that we have both accumulated a lot of stuff over the past 30-40 years, and that we don't have enough room to move about in our apartments.  Yet, neither of us likes having accumulated as much as we have accumulated.  We are not alone.  At least, we can gradually eliminate much of the unneeded stuff in our apartments by giving much of it away.  Hoarders can not and will not do so. Hopefully, we will continue the gradual clean out of unneeded stuff from our places, so that we have the option to merge our households sometime in the future.  Only time will tell...

I accidentally told two friends about me - and I was accepted for who and what I am - a short post

 

A while back, I accidentally posted a link to this blog on the wrong Facebook page, and two of my friends who only knew me as Marian found out about Mario.  I was very surprised, but told my friends the truth about me, and that I was glad that I could finally show my authentic self without filtering.

Now I understand how Fran felt when someone finally caught her switching back and forth between male and female modes.  And I'm glad I made it through this with friendships intact.  Yes, I see changes.  But these will be healthy ones, as we can be much more open with each other than before.....

- - - - - -

Regarding Fran....

RQS has been looking for a new accountant to do her taxes.  Knowing that Fran could use some business, I suggested to RQS that she should reach out to Fran.  (Why not send business along to another TG person?  I'll likely switch to using Fran when my accountant retires.)  So later this evening, I'll find Fran's contact information and give it to RQS....

Another Mystery Purchase from Universal Standard

 

Every year or so, Universal Standard holds a "Mystery Box" sale.  Over the years, I've purchased several bodysuits (think unitards for exercising), dresses, and "Mystery Boxes".  Buying these mystery boxes is a gamble.  I've often ended up spending $100 for items worth $300, but getting a single item worth $100 that I will put into my everyday wardrobe.  Tonight, I bought a single item mystery box, figuring that I could risk spending $60 to get a dress worth $100.

For example,I got the below wrap dress (and a similar dress in a different color) in a mystery box I purchased during the middle of Covid.  There was no way I could wear such a nice dress out, when virtually every place I could go in this dress was closed for the pandemic.

Yet, there was a sweatshirt dress I got in this shipment that I wore much more often, as it was casual enough (and warm enough) to go out in colder weather when restaurants were open at 50% of capacity. The only thing I didn't keep from this shipment was a bandeau top - something that would be useless for someone without natural breasts on her body.

Do I have a clue about I will receive?  Other than the garment being a dress in my size, they aren't saying anything. But with all the expenses I've been incurring lately, I figure that I could risk $60 to get a good deal on a quality product.

 

ps: From what I've read elsewhere, Universal Standard may open a single store in NYC to show its goods.  Hopefully, this will be true and the store will open soon, as I enjoyed examining their clothes in person.

Catching up on chores

 

It wasn't the nicest of days today. So I opted for a day indoors, and decided to take care of 4 loads of laundry waiting to be done.  Given that it was cold and wet, I saw no point in getting dressed and going out as Marian today.  Instead, I figured that I would take care of things around the apartment and catch up on chores that needed to be taken care of.

- - - - - -

Unlike some TG people, I keep my male and female wardrobes separate and rarely share anything between the wardrobes excepting socks.  So this forces me to take an extra step when I do laundry.  Before washing clothes, I separate whites from colors.  After drying clothes, I separate male from female clothes and store them accordingly.

Why do I mention this?

Recently, I met an acquaintance who blends items from both male and female sides of the closet. It's hard enough for me to keep things straight when switching between gender presentations without having to worry if a garment pairing appears too masculine or feminine.  In some areas of this country, people have been beaten up for much less than an androgynous gender presentation.  So, seeing this friend reminded me of why I do not blend my gender presentations, and why I work to make my feminine presentation as authentic as possible - as if I were a cisgender woman wearing the same clothes.

- - - - - -

I try to make my feminine presentation as accurate as possible, so that I will be mistaken for a cisgender female 99% of the time.  This would make it possible for me to visit my friends in Texas - if I were willing to take the chance to do so.  Right now, whenever I go on a cruise as Marian, I think that the cruise line's facial recognition technology spits out an error code when it scans my photo, triggering a new picture of me to be taken when I arrive at the cruise terminal.  It's too bad that I don't have feminine fat distribution.  I would love to have a zaftig woman's T&A - if only so that I can wear a woman's skirted bathing suit or garments that expose my cleavage, without my biological gender being revealed. 

There are many things that make it possible to blend in as a woman.  First comes confidence.  Next comes the quality of presentation. And finally, one needs to be comfortable in her own skin.  With the exception of having a large body, I think I do well enough to avoid having major problems. (At least, I hope so.)  With that being said, I'd like to have legal ID that corresponds to an ambiguous gender presentation (including name), save for my gender marker.  That would be good enough for 99% of the times I need to present an ID card in public.

One can dream....