Earrings and other jewelry

 

One of the things that women often take for granted is getting theirs pierced as a child or young adult.  It is so much easier to wear pierced earrings, and there is a greater availability of earrings for women with pierced ears.  So, I decided to finally get my ears pierced this past winter, in order to wear the above pierced earrings I had just bought on my Hawaii trip.

Now that my ears have been pierced, I have had occasional problems with the piercings.  The holes are not the easiest to find (which can be a good thing when seeing people who have no idea that I am TG), and this often frustrates me when attempting to wear dangling things such as the earrings in the picture. With a girlfriend who accepts my nature, I feel no guilt in getting ready to go out in front of her, as she wants me to look my best in either gender presentation.

Soon, I will start accumulating jewelry to fit every mood and situation.  For example, I love the idea of wearing pearls with a little black dress on a cruise's formal night.  Not all jewelry has to be expensive or formal.  Yet, the jewelry I buy has to be tasteful for a woman of my age.  Therefore, it has to be both simple and easily coordinated with what I'm wearing that day.  In the case of the above earrings and necklace (and pendant), I made sure that these items looked good with the dress I was wearing.

Unlike most women of my age, they have had decades to develop a feel for the jewelry that works best with their personality.  I'm lucky.  Since my fingers and wrists are too big to wear some of the jewelry given to my by my former cruise partner, I have been able to avoid many of the "loud" items that would draw attention to the non-feminine parts of my body.  In short, the jewelry I wear helps me blend in, not to stand out.

Given what I've said above, I am still surprised at how hard it is to see ear piercings when the piercings are not being used for jewelry.  A while back, I went to see my brother after taking my studs out, and he didn't notice a thing.  My fears of being noticed at the wrong time weren't fulfilled.  So, for any TG readers of this blog who are afraid of piercings, don't be.  Most people will ignore tiny studs in one's ears while the piercings heal, and will not notice those piercings when the studs are out.

The more I work on cleaning my place, the more it seems I need to do.

 

My apartment used to look something like this in the not so distant past.  However, when the pandemic struck, everything changed in my life.  One of those things was an incentive to keep things tolerably neat. Now, I'm trying to eliminate much of the clutter that has taken over this place.

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Right now, the space behind the loveseat is being used for storage.  However, it is a manageable accumulation of boxes stored in the least worthwhile area of the apartment.  And most of this will be moved into my storage compartment downstairs when I've cleaned that out.

My closets are showing more open space than I've had in years.  Yet, there is so much more pruning I have to do.  Ideally, I'll only need one tall dresser/chest and one closet to hold each of my masculine and feminine wardrobes.  But until then, I'll have to gradually build donation bags from clothing I haven't worn in a season or two.

When I started this cleanup process, it was a bit overwhelming.  There is light at the end of the tunnel - but it's so far away.  I figure that there is a lot more that I can get rid of before this place starts to feel like the home it was for me when I moved in here 40+ years ago.  But then, like many baby boomers, I thought that this would be a stepping stone purchase - I'd eventually own a house that could hold all of the stuff that I'd accumulate over the years.

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I guess that the same thought process goes for maintaining one's health as well.  One can not do everything all alone.  The impetus to finally to do the work on this apartment wouldn't have been there, had RQS not been in my life and been in the same position in life.  We work well together.  Years ago, my former cruise partner (FCP) wanted a diet and exercise buddy - something I wasn't prepared to do.  There was a certain desperation in communicating this need for a partner, and I knew I wasn't in a position to help her out.  She would eventually have Bariatric surgery, as well as skin reductions to make her body reflect who she wanted to be.  

So, this leads to the question: Who do I want to be?  To answer that takes a lot of hard work.  To welcome people into my life, I have to have a home worth visiting.  That involves apartment cleanup and some help.  Something similar is needed to get my body into shape.  Will I do anything as drastic as my former cruise partner?   No.  I saw how miserable she felt in the early days after her surgery, and I felt bad when I saw her binge eating afterward.  She dealt with the symptoms, and not the underlying problem.  I want to deal with both the underlying problem and its symptoms.

Over the years, I've learned that I need to be able to be out as Marian.  I would never have been happy if several of my previous romantic relationships got further than rolls in the hay.  I'll always be grateful to FCP for her help at the beginning of my journey.  Yet, to continue along this path, I had to go it alone.  Sadly, the way it happened was not a good thing.  But I'll bet that she's better off having been forced to open herself up to the world a little.

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In the end, I'll end up being the person I want most - who and whatever that person may be.

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

 

The full quote — “There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics” — has been attributed to Mark Twain, who himself attributed it to British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, who might never have said it in the first place.  In 2020's America, this phrase takes on even more meaning with the misinformation circulating in "conservative" information bubbles.  False information is being spread by certain "Newscasters" in order to keep pliable masses supporting people who don't give a damn about their welfare.

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Recently, I watched a YouTube video by Steve Shives featuring a political candidate who spoke the GOP's "quiet parts out loud."   Sadly, this fictional candidate's speech is too close to the truth for comfort.  For example, I was once "defriended" by a transgender woman who stated that New York's abortion law protected abortions up to and including the 9th month of pregnancy. There is a certain ignorance and suspension of reality in such a belief.  If a woman carries a fetus into the 9th month of pregnancy, she likely wants the baby to be born.  If there is an abortion, it is likely to be to save the life of the mother.  The same type of misinformation was said when the GOP bashed Obamacare - most people kept doing to their doctors of choice, and it reduced costs for the states that expanded Medicaid. Worst of all was our 45th president claiming that "secret evidence" proved that he won the election. People died in the January 6th 2021 assault on the Capitol building because of this man's lies, and yet, he still walks free.

The "Religious Right" has lost many of the cultural battles it has fought recently, and they are now focusing on Transgender people as convenient targets.  How does it hurt people to amend birth certificates when Gender Corrective Surgery is performed?  Yet, in some states, this change is banned, leaving many transgender people in a state of legal limbo.  What about transgender medical care, preventing TG youth from having an incorrect puberty?  Does this hurt the larger society?  Even going to the restroom can be a problem, as many states have passed "Bathroom Bills" which restrict people to use only those restrooms associated with the gender people were associated with at birth.  Being transgender, I can't risk seeing friends in Texas because of laws like this.

We must be on the alert when false information is being spread about us.  Even if we are in stealth mode, we must always speak out against the lies spread by our enemies.  Although it is a small segment of America which is out to attack us, it holds disproportionate influence over one of our two major political parties.  We can't let that one party win while radicals hold control of that party, as it is an existential threat to us.

Truth doesn't always win out.  People who believe in the truth must fight lies whenever their seed reaches fertile ground.  Take on the fight, and fight hard - our lives depend on it!

 

 

Swedish death cleaning - American Style

 

Have you ever looked at a messy apartment and congratulated yourself for getting rid of a lot of the clutter? That's how I felt yesterday after a closet clean out session.  In addition to rationalizing what I'm keeping in the closet, I have given it greater organization for future storage.  

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Some of the things I found in the closet were tools needed for painting and for bathroom tile work. Although I will likely hire out most of the future work of this ilk, it pays for me to keep some of these tools around - just in case.  Next, I found 12 bottles of distilled spirits, all of which I intend to give away over time.  The bottles are properly sealed, and will likely have retained their alcohol content after 30 years. Then, I found enough clothing to fill 2 large donation bags - which went to the donation center today. What I found most interesting is the amount of makeup supplies that I've been keeping in reserve for future use. I never realized how much stuff I bought planning to use, and then stored away as my makeup needs changed.

I will soon need to clean out my storage compartment, so that I can make room for things I don't need in this apartment on a regular basis.  For example, I want to rotating out-of-season clothing between the apartment and the storage apartment, so that the apartment (and its closets) doesn't feel cramped anymore.  Part of this cleanup will be the disposal of a 600+ Vinyl LP collection  I don't play these albums anymore, and I want to see them go where someone might enjoy them.

In both the apartment and the storage compartment, I have some cut glass decanters which have never been used.  I know that 2 of these decanters in the apartment were wedding presents, but I'm not sure of the others that are in the storage compartment.  There will be a tinge of sadness when I get rid of these items, as I will be feeling sad for hopes that died with my wife.  The decanters are among many items I have which provide connections to my late wife, and going through all the clutter has stirred up both memories and feelings.  The more "valuable" things were when my wife was alive, the more feelings I will need to deal with as I dispose of those things.

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Given where things are now, I'm starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.  There's a part of me that wonders what my late wife would be doing had I been the one to pass away.  But I'll never have answers to those questions.  All I can do is move forward, so that I have a place that I can be proud to have guests in again.

Cleaning out a closet - not much to say about today.

 

I'm not much of a believer in the principles of Feng Shui.  But I agree with this post, that having a messy apartment, as well as messy closets are bad for someone's health.  Excessive clutter reflects problems that a person has and must be dealt with.  Today, RQS and I attacked the closet in my hallway.

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RQS has been at my place from Friday to Wednesday, and on two of those days, it was too hot to do anything outside.  So, after a mild amount of prodding, I shifted our cleanup focus from making the bedroom neater to attacking the mess in the closet.  By the time we were done, we had 4 large bags to be donated to charity, as well as some garbage bags for the dumpster.

By the time we were done with the closet, it was too late to go out.  (This would have been a day spent as Marian if we had gone out.  But I digress.)  There wasn't much to do, now that Labor day festivities ended.  So we stayed in our jammies and watched a couple of movies and some old reruns. 

Although RQS has to go home to take care of some things, she'll be back this weekend.  Hopefully, we'll again find some inexpensive lobster to boil, and we can have another feast while the crustaceans are in season.  Until then, I'll get back to paying my bills and doing laundry, so that RQS can feel comfortable when she returns.

How can I get rid of bulky items?

 

After a decade of forced retirement, I've decided to replace much of the furniture in my apartment.  For example, my sofa is worn out and will be replaced soon.  I have three chests in the bedroom that I plan to replace with two new ones sometime in the next couple of years, and I will likely replace the entertainment center, coffee table and end tables in the living room as well. 

But to do this, I must figure out how to get rid of the bulky furniture.  I have several options for getting rid of the sofa, and none of them are that great, as they will cost me money.  The coffee and end tables can be taken apart for disposal.  Even the chests in the bedroom can be slid down the stairs and "walked" to the dumpster area for bulk pick up.  But the entertainment center poses a problem.  It weighs 450 pounds when empty. and it took 3 people to get it into my apartment.  I will need help getting it out of the apartment, and will likely need to pay a good price to remove it.

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With the above being said, there is another headache I have to deal with - annoying salespeople.  For the most part, I've found people working at furniture stores as of late to be too close to used car salesmen for comfort. All of them tend to hover around, not giving the customer enough breathing room to examine the merchandise in peace.  If you give them ANY information, they will being up the various financing terms, as well as how good their delivery process is.  But, not all of them know their product well, as was the case of one sales person we met about a month ago.  

On a hot day in July, we decided to cross the river and look at some furniture.  Entering the store, we met a fellow from the Indian subcontinent who proceeded to follow us around the store, wherever we wanted to browse.  Shortly after we mentioned what we were looking for, but after a few minutes of browsing, he tried to find an opening to sell us a mattress.  (I need a new one too, but I'm planning on going to Saatva for one designed for fat people like me. But I digress.)  When we sat on an expensive leather covered sofa, he extolled the virtues of the sofa and its construction, not knowing that we knew of another sofa made by the same people with the same frame.  He stated that this was the only one of its kind, not knowing that we knew otherwise.  He was very insistent in trying to make a sale that day, but I brushed him off.  But this wasn't the end of him.

About a week later, I got a call from the salesman.  He sounded upset that I didn't call him back to finalize a sale.  Luckily, the answering machine took the call.  In a later conversation with RQS, I stated why he wasn't going to get the sale.  First, all my credit cards are in Mario's name and I met this man in Marian mode.  But, more important, was the fact that he didn't know his merchandise well enough. We had met a second salesman, this time with me in Mario mode, and he knew his stuff.  This is the person who will get the sale when I'm ready to drop the hammer.  Again, I digress.  This morning, the first salesman woke us up, hoping that we'd answer the land line to set a date for another appointment to close the deal.  Obviously, this won't happen anytime soon....

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The question remains...

How will I end up getting rid of the old sofa?

A Trump supporter posted a reply on Mario's Facebook page.

 

The other day, I posted an image similar to this with the phrase:

Lock him up!
Lock him up!
Lock him up!

And she responded, replying that Biden should be the one locked up.  Regardless of how one feels about Trump and Biden, I am disgusted by both parties' inability to discipline troublesome members when they break the law. I was one who said that Bill Clinton should have been impeached for committing perjury in regard to having sex with Monica Lewinsky.  I was also in favor of going after Bush #43 for unwarranted searches (actually, unwarranted, secret wiretaps) after 9/11.  Yet, I would have given him a hall pass on that if Congress had given him an express OK.  So when the GOP refused to discipline Trump, I was appalled.

Being a member of the LGBT community, I feel at risk by the laws being passed in our most conservative states.  The radical right would rather us not exist, and wants to deny us the medical treatment we need when it is called for, as well as denying us our basic civil rights.  Trump gave the radical right a hall pass to pass laws that would disenfranchise us in exchange for them looking the other way while he cut deals with unsavory characters and with foreign powers.  

The radical right wants to use our existence as if it were a waving red cape at a bull in a bullfight.  To preserve their power, the right's leaders are making us their focus of hatred.  Considering that my acquaintance likely uses Fox "News" as her only news source, I can't help but believe that a reasonably sane person can be corrupted by a steady diet of misinformation that reinforces her existing beliefs.  

I don't believe that our current president is guilty of a crime.  However, I do believe that the son is guilty of a crime for which he had a plea bargain deal, and should have been allowed to cop the plea.  Instead, we will have a trial where justice is not served.  The verdict passed on the son may (or may not) be just, and the trial will be used by the political right to smear our president.  So I closed out the conversational thread by saying that if there is evidence, the father should be tainted.  But if not, the political right should stop stirring up the base with falsehoods.

It saddens me that we no longer have the "fairness doctrine" to preserve objectivity in news reporting.  If this were in effect today, we wouldn't have a nation as polarized as we are now.