I'm going to get really fat if I don't watch out

 

Today, I ended up having two meals out with friends.  How I did that, I don't know.  But I did enjoy both meals along with the company I had.

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If it weren't for the fact that today would be the only time this month that I could see my friend from the census without problems, I would have preferred to stay in and relax for the day.  I hadn't gotten enough sleep last night, and the alarms only got me going around 11:00 am for a 12:30 pm lunch.  This ended up being perfect for me, as I arrived at the Italian joint in town and found my friend just sitting down to wait for me to arrive.

This was a day where I dominated the conversation, describing what happened on my most recent cruise. Hopefully, I did it in a way that kept her interest, as I'm pretty sure that she will never sail with MSC. While Carnival is described as the Walmart of cruise lines, catering to the "value oriented" customer, I described MSC as the bastard offspring between Target and K-Mart. From Target, MSC gets the glitz that attracts people to cruise with them.  And from K-Mart, MSC gets the low quality that causes people to say "Never Again!"  People attracted to MSC do not want the Carnival cruise experience, but want a subset of the experiences one can get on other, higher priced, cruise lines. Eventually, lunch had to end, and I proceeded home.  Originally, I was going to go to Jersey and do some shopping.   But I felt that I should put my leftovers in the refrigerator before going out.  As a result, I never bothered to go out until I met Vicki for dinner at Lefteris Gyro.

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I met Vicki just after she was done with her exercise class, and she was famished.  This time, Vicki would be the one carrying leftovers home.  Vicki listened to me describing the cruise, knowing that neither of us would likely cruise MSC in the future based on my most recent experience.  Yet, I felt this was a shame, as with a little more attention to the quality of the experience and less on nickel-dimeing the cruiser, they'd have product good enough to seriously make a run at grabbing market share from the big-3 American based cruise line corporations (Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Norwegian).  Vicki told me about her retirement plans (which I won't go into here) and chatted about things going on with her and her husband.  All I will say about that is that he will go more than the extra mile for her.

All too soon, dinner had to end and we had to go our own ways.  Not to worry.  I'll see her again when I have my colonoscopy next week....

 

A telling of tales for the New Year

 

As usual, publication of journal entries in this blog is a little behind the times.   By the time you read this, 2 weeks will have passed, and I will have gone through an appointment with my GP, gotten a colonoscopy, and have had my teeth X-Rayed.  And those are only things that I know will happen over the next couple of weeks.

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When this weekend began, RQS came up on a crowded train from NYC.  Instead of eating what I had at home, we proceeded to the local diner as I was in Mario mode for the day  And this was a wise choice, as both of us had leftovers we could bring home to eat later on.  The manager and a long time waitress both noted that it was a long while since I've eaten there, and I mentioned that I had been traveling, spending half my time in Queens these days.  The last thing I was going to mention was that I spend more than half my time as Marian, and didn't want to "out" myself to them.

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Saturday came, and neither of us wanted to get out of the house.  And we didn't do much, save to make a shopping run as it was getting dark.  RQS needed a few things she could get at Walmart or Target, and I needed an excuse to take a drive.  So, off to Poughkeepsie we went, and then back home for the night.

But Sunday, New Year's Eve, was a different story.  I decided to let RQS stay in bad while I went to Church for the first and only time this year.  It was nice to reconnect with the rituals of my past, even though my late mother might have had another heart attack had she seen me in church wearing a nice dress and being addressed as Marian.  After church, it was off to Homestyle Desserts to pick up a cheesecake for the folks from Game Night and to pick up some cookies for RQS's friends, who we'd plan to meet the following day. About $85 later, I returned home to relax with RQS before going to Yonkers.

Not knowing what type of food we'd be eating, I decided to nuke some pre-made offerings from Trader Joe's for us to eat.  This wasn't needed, as there was much more than enough food to eat at our friends' place.  Strangely enough, most of us didn't end up playing any games.  The night was mostly spent by us talking with a few friends until shortly after midnight when we drove home slowly and carefully, making sure to avoid the amateur drunk drivers expected on the road this evening.

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New Year's Day came, and neither of us had any energy.  When RQS was looking for excuses not to go and visit her friend, I suggested that she had a GI Tract issue similar to that I often have (for real).  And this made it possible for her to sleep the day away until it was again dark outside.  The only reason I even bothered to get dressed was so that I could bring home a hot pizza for us to eat.  And then, it was back in my jammies for the evening....

Wishes

I wish I could look in the mirror and see this face, knowing that the body connected to is would be fully in sync with the image.  Alas, this was not meant to be.  My face, like the rest of my body, shows the wear and tear of living a different life.  But I am not complaining about that, nor am I pining for something that can not be.  Life is a path, that for most of us has its obstacles and challenges, but can have its rewards for making it through without losing your mind or your humanity.

Lately, I get up in the morning and find that I have nothing urgent to take care of.  Life wasn't this way when I had a job to go to.  Just the fact that I had a job that had to get done gave meaning to life - even when I worked at that mind numbing job with the imaging company.  Now, having people to see and trips to take gives me a reason to get up in the morning. 

The other day, I saw BXM for lunch before she had to go to work.  (She has a flexible schedule.)  And she was the happiest that I ever saw her.  When I first met her, she was taking care of a father whose mind and body were gradually leaving him.  Now, she's being energized by helping children get their lives together, as well as having a good home life with her partner.

Not everyone is doing well.  I just had a letter from an old friend, and he told me that his wife had to go through a double mastectomy.  Although she's "triple negative" and going through the 5 years needed to be labeled as "Cured", it must have been hell for her.  This is where I wish my late wife had survived, so that she could console this friend's wife in her time of need.

Another person I know doesn't know enough about how to escape her dead-end "career".  Although she has been told about paths she could take to exit the dead-end, she hasn't done so.  Over time, many of these doors will be closed to her, and she may end up regretting taking the chances she needs to take to escape from a life that is doomed to both keep her poor and without a decent person to accompany her along the path of life.

For all of my friends, I wish that their lives will improve each day, and that they will be able to grasp success from the claws of failure.  As for me, I don't ask for much, as I already have most of what I want and all of what I need....

Relaxing & Preparing to Vlog

Today was a day where I didn't do much of anything, save for laundry.  It's becoming more common these days for me to be a couch potato.  So, I don't mind excuses that get me out of the house and doing things.  If the Yonkers meetup group met every Thursday as it once did, I'd have gotten up and did more before the end of my day.

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RQS was right.  As soon as I got my new sofa, I'd find myself falling asleep there during the day.  But this leaves the bed available for night time use.  In the daytime, I'm more likely to be watching YouTube videos or reading books.  Last night, I finished Romney, A Reckoning, by McKay Collins.  I found out about this book a while back, and it paints a damning picture of what today's GOP has become.  I highly recommend this book to those people who have any doubts regarding Trump's (and the GOP's) unfitness to govern.  Although I have started another book, I'm not sure if I'm going to finish it on time.  Since it is in high demand, I must return it at the the end of its 14 day lending period.  This means that I may just have to request it again after a few weeks have passed.

On other matters, I am starting a YouTube essentials course on the basics of Vlogging.  There are several topics that I plan to talk about and I hope that others find my Vlogging of interest.  However, I am not likely to use my authentic transgender identity until I go 24x7 in the world.  Instead, I will likely Vlog as Mario, as I still can present as a decent looking male when I need to.

Recently, RQS sent me information from 2 Vloggers who discussed the trip I recently took, and a solo cabin that is just like the one I stayed in on my December cruise.  I'm glad that others have similar feelings to what I have about travel on this ship.  Given what I have written in my cruise blog, I have confirmation that I can report on a cruise line, a cruise ship, and a cruise itinerary with an objective eye.  Hopefully, I will be able to maintain my objectivity as I develop the skills to Vlog on topics I choose.  And when I do so, I may post some links here for my readers to view my Vlogs.

Sleep? What is that?

 

Last night, I didn't fall asleep until some time after 4 am.  As a result, I set my alarms to start waking me up around, 8:30, 9:00, 9:30 and 10 am.  What I didn't expect was a phone call from my bank to ask questions about a credit card which was stolen in Chicago about 2 months ago.  By the time 10 am came around, I was wide awake, and getting ready to drive down to the Bronx to see BXM,  (This was the main reason for the alarms, as I would hate to oversleep and forget about her.)

There were several things I had on the docket for today.  First was a call into my 401k custodian to see whether my distribution check was cut (or not). Next, was a visit to BXM.  Finally, I had to restock my refrigerator with fresh food, and this would likely mean a trip to Trader Joe's  Given that I had to get the 401k check cut before year end, I logged onto the 401k site and found that the 401k check had been cut overnight, and that it should be in my mailbox shortly after the New Year.  Whew!  Now, I could get ready to deal with things I wanted to deal with today, such as lunch with BXM, food shopping, and taking care of laundry.

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I was running a few minutes late to meet up with BXM, and hit a traffic jam on the Saw Mill Parkway at the Bronx border.  (No wonder why my GPS kept telling me to get on a toll road,  the NYS Thruway, instead of taking the more direct and free route to Riverdale.)  She looked better than I remembered, in part because life has been going well for her as of late - and it shows on her face.  I told her about what has been going on in my life since we last met, and she told me of what's been going on in hers. (Not too much or too little, as her job is very rewarding and takes up a lot of her time.)

On the way home, I passed by the Saw Mill's traffic jam (the trucks were still blocking one lane of the road) and proceeded to Trader Joe's.  This was a big shopping run, as I broke the $50 barrier and came close to spending $75.  But I still needed to go to Foodtown for some mayonnaise, and spent another $20 while there.  Thankfully, today's shopping run will last me into the weekend.

 

Sending a letter

 

The other day, I sent a letter to someone I once knew.  It was meant to be a polite way of reopening a channel of communications between two people, as the holidays would be a good time to see if this person was looking for a way to reopen up communications between us.

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This got me thinking - how many people have we lost contact with because of things getting in the way? One acquaintance from my days running a FIDO BBS (Bulletin Board System) and I never seem to connect with each other, although we occasionally try to do so.  He has a rewarding family life, with a wife and children.  Hopefully, we'll be able to connect soon.  DCD has had health and family problems.  But he is a friend of questionable value, as he doesn't make much of an effort to stay in contact anymore, now that his life is falling apart.  Most of my polyamorous friends in the "North Country" have scattered to the winds, and I don't miss them because we never built strong bonds.  And I don't go to many meetups these days, as I haven't found many of the groups conducive to making friends. 

Did I gain much from meetup groups?  Well, with one meetup group, I made some good friends I can count on to be there for me on occasion.  With others, I have made one or two friends.  But, for the most part, I gained invaluable experience being out in the world as Marian.  And this is what counts....

Caught in-between the holidays

 

This past Friday (12/22/23 - as I write this), I put in a phone call to the custodian of my 401k to take a distribution.  I thought everything went well, even though I was on an IVR (Interactive Voice Response) system, as I arranged to take a 401k distribution.  Well, this evening, I found that nothing has gone through yet.  Since this money needs to be distributed before year-end, as not to screw up my tax status for next year, I will need to make another call in the morning and try to reach a human.

I hate IVR systems, but see their value.  Yet, I find that my needs are rarely dealt with properly by these systems.  For example, when I last took a distribution, I made sure that I took out extra money for both Federal and State taxes.  This time, going through the IVR, I could do this for the Federal taxes, but not for the State taxes - I had to guesstimate them, and then include them as a fixed figure.  AARGH!  Things will be much worse next year, as I will need to figure out the total for both Federal and State taxes, and manually enter the amounts to be taken out of my corporate pension to compensate for Social Security issues.  To make things worse, my accountant has retired, and I will need to find someone new before I file my returns for t/y 2023.  

With all this being said, these are first world problems.  I have the resources to take care of things, and will likely consider doing a trustee to trustee transfer of my 401k funds, so that I have more control over them, including tax withholding.

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Why am I mentioning this here now?

Well, I usually have a lot of things to take care of at year end.  A little bit of financial confusion is just a little more stress to add to my life - but a stress that I'm lucky to have compared with many people I know.  For example, one of my acquaintances has not had good health lately.  His relationship with his on/off girlfriend leaves much to be desired.  And his employment record makes him a high risk hire.  He will never escape the claws of defeat.  There are others I know that have been in worse shape than this acquaintance.  So I am grateful to have my set of problems than that of someone else.