It felt good getting back in a dress again

 

Normally, I will try to blend in and wear what cisgender women would wear in a similar situation.  Tonight, I decided to go to game night in one of my new dresses.  It's something I feel comfortable wearing in casual situations, as well as going out for a Thanksgiving dinner - Something I did with the Navy version of this dress.  

There is something about a dress that shouts femininity.  And I like that.  However, our society is becoming much less formal, and women's wear is gradually evolving to become more like men's wear, with minor differences to accentuate the female form.  As much as I am glad that women now have the choice whether to wear a dress or not, I am saddened by the subtle loss of femininity in what the average women wears now days.

I'm still not sure of what I'll be wearing when I go to Hawaii.  I need to be comfortable at all points along the way from Newark, NJ to Honolulu, HI, traveling from winter to summer in less than 24 hours.  Right now, I figure that I'll wear a dress with both a camisole and leggings underneath on the way to Hawaii, and strip off the extra clothing as soon as I land in Hawaii.  On the return trip, I may simply reverse the process, save that I might not bother with the camisole. Layers, Layers, and more Layers....

One thing I know about Hawaii - I expect to be in a dress all the time I'm there, save for the time I'm in a swimsuit....

A short post.... A new dress.

 

I've been looking for a dress in this shade of blue for a while.  Recently, I found it at Target - with one problem.  I'd have to find it in the clearance bin at one of two New Jersey stores.  AARGH!  So I decided to drive across the river after work, and hopefully find this dress in the clearance bins.

But first....

Last night, I wasn't able to fall asleep until around 3 am.  This is terrible when one has to get up for work at 6 am.  So I wasn't sure if I could drive to the Hackensack Target after a periodic teeth cleaning at my dentist's office this evening.  I was very surprised to find out that my appointment was scheduled for tomorrow.  Since I didn't have anything else on my docket, I decided to go to Hackensack.

The major roads on the other side of the river were fouled up, so I took the side roads to Hackensack. Target is hidden from the main road, so I over shot the place and got lost in a city that closes up shop at 5 pm.  Thankfully, my GPS got me to the store, where I could only find the Size 3X version of the dress.  I figured that I might as well try the dress on And, amazingly - it fit!  So into my shopping cart it went, and I became the proud owner of a dress I may wear when in Hawaii later this year....

 

PS: I ordered and received the black version of the same dress.  Dressed up a little, with the right jewelry, and I can wear it on a formal night onboard a ship....

Another weekend with RQS - Day 1

 

I'm afraid that I accidentally donated this dress several months ago.  When I showed RQS this picture, she noted that it was a good look for me, and that she'd keep an eye out for it as we looked through my storage bins this weekend.

But first....

As I've noted, I now arrive ar Croton Harmon station in Marian Mode to pick RQS up on arrival.  She is very comfortable with this, and has gotten used to seeing me wearing a dress when we go out to eat.  Yes, it may be a little subversive in nature, but we're comfortable with it, and that's all I care about.

This week, we decided to do something different and go to a Chinese Buffet near me.  Both of us pigged out.  RQS was impressed with the quality of the buffet.  I was gobsmacked with the inflated price of the buffet.  (I'm not complaining here.  It is just sticker shock, as I haven't been to this place since before the pandemic.)

What pleasantly surprised me today was that RQS is becoming more comfortable with me in Marian mode.  Although I'll always be there for her as Mario, it is nice that she accepts Marian as well....

Some credit cards are not worth keeping

 

The other day, I decided to buy a new dress from the Avenue's site.  Given that an all cotton dress is a rarity on this company's site these days, I decided to jump on one in a color I liked.  I placed the order, and nothing happened.  When I say nothing, I mean nothing.  The original default credit card option I used was no longer on the site from what I could tell (I was tired and could have missed things), and the order was never placed, with no error or warning being given to me.

Some of you might be thinking that I logged on to a scam site. But this was the site I've saved in my bookmarks, and have used many times in the past.  So, what happened?  After looking around, I didn't see their card listed in approved payment methods.  Although the current site's server sends out web pages which reference their store credit card, it wasn't available for me to use.

What do I think happened?

Given the declining profit of  of store cards, I feel that the in-house card was quietly phased out.  I could very easily be wrong about this.  But when I redid the order and decided to buy two dresses of the same style, I noticed that the store card option was no longer listed in the payment options.  Could this be related to Visa/Master Card/Discover/American Express all offering cash back cards?  It could be, as store cards do not offer the same value in rewards as major credit cards do, and they can only be used in one company's operations.

I wonder when my other store cards will bite the dust....

 

 

PS: The order was placed, and I did receive the dress.   I must have been extremely tired when I placed that order.

By the time I got to try it on, it was sold out.

 

I was trying to find this dress at Lane Bryant, so that I could try it on and make a decision whether to buy it or not. Although the blue dress is in stock, the dress above is not.  This means that I may end up buying a different dress from Avenue in a similar color, or buy this dress in a different color.

It's just as well that they didn't have this dress in stock.  If it had been, I might have bought it on an impulse.  Over a quarter century since my late wife died, I understand the allure of shopping for new clothes.  It's fun to decorate yourself in new ways - something most men do not understand.  Although I can say no to most impulse purchases, there are a few items that shout "Buy Me!" that are very hard to resist.  And I've been lucky NOT to fall prey to too many of these purchase opportunities.

Given that my closets are overflowing with clothes, I think I got lucky in NOT being able to buy this dress....

- - - - - -

On other matters, the son of someone I know just earned his medical degree.  Congratulations!   Too bad that I will forever be on the outs with his mom.  Yet, when I was coming home from the store tonight, I asked myself - what did I like about this woman?  And the one answer that came up was that I thought that she accepted me as I am.  Yes, I ruined our friendship.  But in her angry attacks over the past 2 1/2 years, I found out what she really thought of me.  We didn't have that much in common.  But I liked her anyway.

- - - - - - 

Going to Lane Bryant, I had an hour long chat with TCL.  Towards the end, I told her of a conversation I had with FH, documented in a prior entry.  TCL agrees with me about FH - and I didn't even tell TCL who I was talking about.  Sadly for FH, she will never understand why I didn't jump at the opportunity to be her "Plus 1" for a wedding she's attending next weekend.  I can't imagine having to get dressed up to go to a party where I know no one but my partner and put my relationship with RQS at risk.

Thinking of RQS, I mentioned our minor problems in Washington, DC.  TCL realized that we passed an early test of whether a relationship is good or not.  We were able to deal with a situation of moderate stress and work together well to resolve a problem.  I still keep my fingers crossed each time we may encounter another situation that could cause us some grief.  Hopefully, we'll keep passing these tests as time goes on....

Time in my life

 

Tonight, RQS and I were discussing how tired I get after a full day of work.  My exhaustion makes it impossible for me to take care of things during the week.  If it needs energy, I am not able to respond the way I used to after a full day of work as a computer technologist.  I only get one day during the week to get things done, with almost nothing done during the week.  AARGH!   I can't wait to retire for good, and that will take place soon.  I have a date set, but won't announce it until I have handed in my paperwork.

There is a part of me that keeps looking for new dresses to wear.  I was very surprised to see this dress on Avenue's site, as it is all cotton, and not polyester as their usual wont.  Will I buy this dress?  Possibly, but I have several similar dresses in my wardrobe that would make this a superfluous purchase.  Do I want to waste money?  Probably not.  Only time will tell.

Mystery Boxes - a short note.

 

The other day, I broke down and bought 2 "Mystery Boxes" from Universal Standard.  Sometime in the near future, I will receive 2 dresses and 3 other unknown pieces of clothing.  And I can't wait to see what's in those boxes.

I mention the boxes, as RQS also receives Universal Standard's catalogs in the mail.  Today, I sent her a link to an 'on-sale' dress that might look good on her.  It's inexpensive enough that she may just buy it and have the hem length tailored to her needs.  It's strange to be telling someone I've dated what might look good on her.  Yet, RQS and I feel comfortable enough talking about Marian that I can do just this.

Of course, RQS hasn't seen me in-person in Marian Mode.  Although she's comfortable with me in the abstract, the reality of seeing me in-person this way may upset her.  But we've gone this far without her running away.  So, keep your fingers crossed for me....

Being lazy can be so refreshing.

 

I've been trying to find the dress in this picture amongst the clothing in my storage containers.  Sadly, I either donated it by accident, or it is hopelessly lost amongst things I've tossed away.  After letting my apartment go to hell for the better part of two years, I've been slowly working my way through all the clutter in my place.

- - - - - -

After doing nothing all day yesterday, I thought I'd have the energy to get a bit done today.  Surprise!  I had even less energy than yesterday.  I was barely able to get myself moving until 4 pm.  And then, I got a call from TCL that lasted 2 hours.  (I really didn't want to stay on this long, but something happened that she needed to talk about - and we did just that.)  But this got in the way of my plans to shop at Wegmans, and then call for NCL for information on the Hawaii cruise I plan on taking.

Once done with TCL, I got showered and dressed, and off to White Plains for food shopping. On my way home, I called MWL to keep in touch.  Like me, she did a lot of nothing today, save that she took down some of her Xmas decorations.  It was a pleasant chat, and she told me how Covid (Omicron) is affecting her lately. Like CWS (and my new friend, RQS), MWL isn't going much of anywhere these days.  Almost all my friends are afraid of the Omicron variant.

I never accomplished two of the things I wanted to do today - Laundry and Calling NCL for cruise information.  Yet, I'm comfortable with what little I did today.  I've needed to rest for a while, and I've gotten two days of needed rest this weekend.

 

Meanderings

I don't own this dress anymore.  When I bought it, I thought it would look nice on me.  However, my style has changed a lot since then, and I no longer shop just for things that fit me.  Instead, I try to choose garments that both fit well and make me look pretty.

Why do I mention this?

My place was never as bad as it is now while I was seeing my last serious girlfriend.  I've more than documented the disastrous end to that relationship and the loss of two friendships when I could have used them most.  So I won't go into talk about the past, save that I miss having company now and then.  Right now, I have 5 large bags of clothes in my living room which have to go to charity.  And I want to do this (and more) before I have a woman come to this apartment.  It's been over 2 years since I've had a guest here, and I'd like to make it presentable for someone new - preferably before New Year..

Today, I talked to TCL on my way home and I was reminded about why a relationship never clicked between the two of us.  One might say that she is too smart for her own good.  But that alone wouldn't be an issue.  Instead, she is both too judgemental and wanting too much to tell others about what she thinks is the correct way to do things. For example, I mentioned  the issue with Amazon's last mile delivery, and she said that I should have dropped the mis-delivered packages off at the correct apartments. Since I was in a rush, I alerted one of the neighbors that her package was mis-delivered, and asked her to pick up the packages bound for her doorway.  She did not do that.  She was focusing on what she would have done, and not my telling of the story.  And that can be off-putting when one has to deal with it every day.

Given everything, I'm leery of buying anything from Amazon during this holiday season.  Yet, I just had two packages come that I ordered two days ago - each from different companies.  The first was a bigger box that contacted 3 packages of disposable makeup wedges.  The other contained two rolls of clear medical adhesive tape.  Both these things are in short supply at Walmart, Target, and local drug stores. But I could get them through Amazon.  And I will have a big enough supply before I'm on my cruise without worrying whether the brick and mortar stores will restock them in time for the cruise.  (I can still remember when Walmart had no house brand exfoliating makeup remover wipes in their stores, and going to buy out the last of the remaining stock in a nearby store.)  

There's a part of me that wishes there was a way to reconcile with the former cruise partner (FCP).  Yet there's another part that doesn't want to deal with her anymore.  We once had a "sail away" inside cabin (or ocean view cabin) which was directly below a lounge area.  She couldn't deal with the bands making music above our cabin until 11:00-11:30 pm, preventing her from relaxing.  So she hectored "hotel staff" on the ship until she got a satisfactory substitute - a balcony cabin.  I'd have accepted the original room, as we let the cruise line pick the room before sailing and they delivered on their side of the contract.  Although we got a nicer room, I didn't like how we got it.  And this would bother me if I had to deal with her again in any close relationship.  Sometimes, a person has to accept a "no" on minor things, so that s/he can demand a 'yes" on the important ones.

In short, I'm finding that I hate pushy people.  I don't like being pushed around, and will push back hard when pushed.  Sometimes, being pushy is appropriate for the matter at hand.  But when someone is too pushy for too long, I lose my tolerance for that person.  So far, TCL knows that limit with me.

 

I wish I had hips....

 

One of the problems that I have with my body is that I don't have the hips to wear certain garments.  When the above dress was new, I looked OK from the top up.  But my hips left a lot to be desired.  I had no natural curves.  This dress has long since been retired, and yet, I'll always have the same problem as I did several years ago - my hips are not wide enough to meet the proportions of a typical woman of my age and size.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I have learned to dress appropriately for a woman my age.  And that includes wearing more traditionally masculine garments such as trousers.  But I prefer to wear the feminine versions of these garments.  Over time, for example, I have grown to feel much more comfortable carrying a handbag and not looking for items in my pockets.  So it has now become strange for me to wear any garments with pockets, save when I'm in Mario mode.  And, about the only time I've been in Mario mode these days is when I see my internist, my dates, and my family. On these days, the feeling of male garments is noticeably different that what I normally wear during the week.  

The other day, one woman started to ask me about the women in my wife - as if she needed a scorecard to keep them straight.  But then, I am very unusual, as I am a genetic male who finds females more interesting to have as friends than to have as bed partners.  And, if I had my choice, I would have been born as a cisgender female, so that I could partake of the richness of emotional experiences open to women.  This comes at a big price, and no one should forget it.  Females are often ignored because of their gender.  They are bullied (or worse) by males, as they have less body and muscle mass.  And they have all the major headaches of reproduction. Cisgender males have no idea how easy it is for them....

With all that being said, right now, I simply wish I had nice hips, so that my clothes would look better on me.

It was nice to see a friend today.

 

Today, I met a friend for lunch.  Although we met via OK Cupid, we knew from the beginning that we'd be friends, and not much more.  And this is a good thing.  She would be a little bit out of my league if we had tried to start a relationship.  As friends, we can overlook things that we could not overlook in a romantic partner.

My friend and I have been trying to get together for a while.  Her health and her business has gotten in the way, and I hadn't had the opportunity to get together with her since the beginning of summer.  So we decided to meet somewhere in the middle (we live 90 minutes from each other), in Beacon.  

- - - - - -

No, we didn't go to the restaurant above  If we did, we probably would have gotten very sick. In fact, we may have needed the following maneuver performed on us if we choked on our food:

Instead, we went to a place called Meyer's Olde Dutch for an early lunch.  It WAS FILLING!  My friend, who barely weighs 100 lbs. soaking wet, was filled on her salad.  While I was filled on an oversized, overloaded bacon cheeseburger.  Yum!  I'd go back there again. Over lunch, we talked of many things, such as one Catskills area property not selling.  My friend had sold her place for just under $1 million, and within 18 months, it has recently been flipped for $1.700,000.  Right now, a place either has to have character, enough vacant land to build a place with character, or be cheap enough for someone to tear it down to build a place with character.  The unsold place fits neither of these conditions,  So it remains unsold - for now. For the most part, we talked about her business and her upcoming vacation with her boyfriend.

Next on our list of things to do was picking up some gluten free goodies for her boyfriend and his daughter.  For this, we made the mistake of walking a little over a mile to a store on the other side of Beacon.  And neither of us thought the heat would be getting to us.  To make things worse, I was wearing the wrong shoes for this walk, and my right foot loudly announced that this was a big mistake.  We sat down for a few minutes, then returned to our cars.  Hopefully, she will be able to make her overseas trip soon, as I just learned that her destination country has enacted new quarantine requirements for United States residents.

Once done with my friend, I drove to Poughkeepsie to pick up some stuff at Target.  I've been intrigued by the above dress for a while, and to drop $20 to see how it looks on me.  It looks comfortable, and it is something I can wear on hot summer days.  After I was done with Target, I stopped into Walmart to pick up some food on the way home.  It was strange to see an empty space where the in-store McDonald's used to be. But I guess Mickey D wasn't making enough money in their Walmart outlets, and prefers to make its money off of franchisees by renting out the land their franchised restaurants sit on.

Eventually, I made it home and decided to take a nap.  Even after 2 hours of rest, I didn't feel rested.  I could have easily gone back to sleep.  But I decided to stay awake and call up MWL to chat for a little while.  While on the call, one of my OK Cupid ladies decided to call me (very late), and I wasn't going to break off my call with MWL to speak with someone for the first time.  I was glad when MWL decided to end the call, as both of us were tired after our long days.  Hopefully, I'll have more energy for tomorrow's Brunch Meetup in Peekskill.

The big thing of the day was a trip into NYC for dinner with a new friend.

 

It's hard to believe how empty Grand Central Terminal is these days.  It was the first time at GCT in over a year, and things have really changed due to the pandemic.  If I didn't know better, I might have thought things were "normal" based on how everything felt when I arrived.  Things felt too comfortable for comfort.  None of the usual crowds were milling about the terminal.  None of the food stands and news stands I usually counted on seemed to be open - as if they closed the terminal after rush hour ended.  And most of all, the relative quiet of the place compared to the old normal.

- - - - - -

I spent the whole work day in my usual tunic and trouser garments.  However, I was prepared for the evening, as I had pantyhose on underneath.  This way, I could change into my dress without the time consuming headache of donning hosiery when I needed the time for something else.  And I did need the extra time before catching the train into NYC, as I couldn't find my favorite scarf.  Why did I look for the scarf?  50 mph wind gusts.  The last thing I needed was for my hair to look shitty when meeting someone in person for the first time.

Luckily, I was able to make it to the local train station with a few minutes to spare.  While waiting, I noticed that Metro North was preparing a new platform to serve a track not accessible from the original platform.  (It looks like a temporary platform to me, but they could make it permanent in the future.)  The train came a minute afterward, and I was n my way into the city.

Arriving at the terminal, my first destination was an ATM.  However, Chase had moved its ATMs out of Grand Central and the closest Chase ATM was at a branch across the street.  (I was lucky to arrive 15 minutes early, as I needed the extra time to get some money.)  I was surprised when I found that the machine dispensed a $100 bill.  That C-Note won't be spent any time soon.  A few minutes later, I met my new friend and we walked to the restaurant. 

My friend realized that this restaurant was a different one than she expected to go to, but we had a pleasant meal.  Around 9:00, we walked back to GCT and we said our goodbyes.  Hopefully, she'll be interested in a friendship. If not, it was a nice evening with someone new.

Opening up a mystery box or two

 

I like the above picture of me.  In it, I almost look like a pretty old grandmother - and that pleases me. Yesterday, I received my mystery boxes from Universal Standard and got 7 items.  The 6 pictures below are the items I will likely wear.

 

(Mine is in Merlot)

The three dresses I received are all good for Fall/Winter wear, and I plan to try them out when the weather gets cooler.  Although the two items below will be good for summer, I am not sure if the shorts may be appropriate for wearing outside.  I will check with Vicki before wearing them.

 

(Mine is in Merlot)

From what you can see in the above pictures, was it worth $200 to get these quality garments?  It was a gamble I might not take again, but I'll answer that question later in the year.  My friends in Texas game me the thumbs up on the boxes, so I think I may have been lucky....

The mystery box has arrived

 

A couple of months ago, I placed an order with Universal Standard for two "Mystery Boxes."  One box was for Athleisure Wear, and the other was for Dresses. The two "boxes" came in a single delivery, and there was not a thing I could wear   ...at this time of year.

The Athleisure box had 4 items:

• V-Neck Short Sleeve T-Shirt (Black/White Striped)
• Shorts (Navy Blue)
• Sweatshirt (Merlot)
  
• Bandeau Top (Gray)      ----    There is no way I'll wear this, so it goes in the donation pile.
  

The Dresses box had 3 items:

• Shirt Dress (Merlot)
• Turtleneck Dress (Dark Green)
• Sweatshirt Dress (Navy Blue)

I think for buying a pig in a poke, I may have gotten my money's worth.  But would I do it again?  Maybe.  But I'll think about gambling a little more carefully next time.  Right now, I'm not in the mood to try on the dresses to see how they look.  But I will do so soon, take some pictures, and post them for my readers to comment on.

It was a boring day today, and I'd have rather stayed home.

The above dress was a bit too small for me to wear.  But if it were a size larger, I'd have kept it because it made my body look like it had hips.  Alas, this was not the case, and I only lost $20 in the process of buying the dress in one of ModCloth's special deals..

- - - - - -

I was originally scheduled to meet up with FH, and go walking in Manhattan around 4:30 pm.  However, FH contacted me to let me know she was backed up with work and to ask if I could meet her at 6:30-7:00 instead.  So I ended up spending another few hours watching some TV before running down to FH's place with some food from Boston Market.

Did I really want to run down there today?  No.  But until things open up in the spring, it's nice to have someone I can hang out with.  I just wonder what it would have been like had my ex not broken up with me.  Alas, that's road not traveled, and one I'll always have some curiosity about.